You’ve probably already heard the news out of Duke University: A woman’s risk of obesity goes up 7% per child. (A man’s goes up 4%) There are lots of theories as to why this is: Less “me” time for exercise, snacking off of children’s fruit snacks and PBJs all day instead of having a real meal, and a sleep debt so big it makes Republicans look frugal.
According to that stat, my risk for obesity is up 28%. So you can understand my concern when I was hamstrung by the most common childhood infringement upon parents: illness. My poor sweet baby woke up with a fever of 102 and then as I was snuggling him into my neck, he projectile vomited over my shoulder and down my back. The vomit was so all encompassing it even managed to run inside my sock. Good thing he’s so darn cute.
Making Lemons Out of Lemonade
Now you all now I’m a dedicated gym fiend, but the #1 rule of mommyhood is that you don’t take a child who has vomited anywhere near other children for a minimum of 24 hours after the last eruption. And I’m not kidding when I say this is the #1 rule. Other mommies will forgive a host of sins: feeding your kid candy in front of their child who has to eat his sprout sandwich and never ever gets sugar; letting your progeny take apart the supermarket display of toilet paper while you read a magazine (as long as you put it back together before you go); pretending not to see when your kid picks a booger and eats it. And feeds one to his baby brother. Mommies are generally a pretty forgiving lot, especially if they’ve had more than one kid. But they will not, under any circumstances, forgive you for introducing the stomach flu into their home.
So except for a trip to the doctor this morning (verdict: fluid in both ears that isn’t an infection yet but probably will be in two days so keep your insurance card handy), I’m housebound. Which means no gym. That noise you’re hearing? Me shrieking.
The Monkey Bar Gym Makes House Calls
The principle behind the Monkey Bar Gym Workouts is that you’re working out how kids play so, I figure my kids play here all the time – I’d just adapt the workout to what I have at home. After sending off my oldest to kindergarten and plunking the rest in front of a video (those Rescue Heroes live in a scary scary world, I tell you), I strapped on and laced up.
First up – warm up by running the stairs. I live in a split level with 3 flights of stairs so that got my heart rate up pretty quickly – 240, according to my not-so-trusty heart rate monitor. Brief pause to clean said heart rate monitor with a stray baby wipe (was that a booger?). The only way it could have been better was if I’d managed to carry all the laundry with me.
Next – 50 plyo pushups alternating with 50 plyo pull-ups. Apparently a plyo pushup is the kind where you clap in the middle. Yeah, I’m that kind of stud – totally rocked it… from my knees. Got the wicked carpet burn to prove it too, punk! Obv. pull-ups are out so instead I did tricep dips off a chair. Not exactly the perfect substitute but after 50 my arms were shaking. Not to mention I was doing “toddler” tricep dips (you know, as soon as you stretch your legs out, your toddlers come running to sit on you and jump up and down while you dip because – hey, who doesn’t love a free ride?). So, done.
Then – 50 box jumps alternating with plyo leg curls. I have no earthly clue what a plyo leg curl would even entail and the MBG website is no help either so instead I substitute leg curls with an exercise ball. Except all I have is a partially deflated spiderman playground ball. I use it and it was surprisingly challenging (especially the part where I had to take it away from my 3-year old. He cried a lot. Mommy’s mean.) The box jumps were a little harder. I had my choice of a small plastic stool only about 8 inches high or my IKEA-special coffee table that hits me mid-thigh. When faced with this Goldilocks-type decision, I tend to go for the extreme so I picked the table. Holy Freakin’ Heck!!! (You like my curse words? Um, KIDS! Helllloooo!) Those were the box squats from Hades (I’ve got a million of ’em, I tell you).
My heartrate didn’t drop below 160 the entire time. I finished out 30 minutes by fake jumping rope (I made my husband Goodwill our real jump rope when we found the kids were using it to lasso each other – around the neck), more stairs, baby burpees (you moms know what I mean) and football feet. Total calorie burn for 30 minutes: 428! Yeah, baby! Not bad for a mommy workout;)
Hopefully the baby has finished all his bodily fluid sharing and I’ll be back in the gym tomorrow. But if not, at least I know I can get a good workout at home! And maybe I can figure out a way to work in the laundry too…
Hi Charlotte!
I just found your blog yesterday through “Back in Skinny Jeans” and I’ve read 3 hours worth of your posts now, I think. I have to say, I just love everything about your blog (writing style, humor, research, etc).
Above all, I’m inspired by how fit you are (and with 4 kids, no less). I’m 26, no kids, and riidiculously less in shape than you are. You are my new role model. I thought 22% body fat was just fine. (I was 32% 1 1/2 years ago, but I was “skinny fat”- never actually looking fat, and so not realizing it was unhealthy till a fitnessy friend took some calipers to me). My new goal is to get into the teens. I’m starting on the 12/8 sprints!
I am the queen of sick kids and periodically getting it myself, so I have had to sub the MBW at home as well. It is suprisingly accomidating to being done at home.
Though I must say, Charlotte, that Allison and I did it at the gym today and did not get as good of a workout as you.
Granted, Allison is grounded, literally, for a few more days, and we kinda forgot the important word, plyo, in our workout, but I burned about 135 calories in 22 minutes of just doing the 4 exercises. We most likely had a longer rest period than your 5 seconds, and that could make the difference.
We are hoping to see you tomorrow, we always miss you challenging enthusiasm!
Candice
Charlotte, we missed you today!! I am so jealous that you got SO MUCH BETTER of a work out than Candice and I did. You ready to hear what I burned for calories?? 96 cals!!! Yeah, aiyiyia is right. I have never tried working out at home on kid sick days but I am definitely going to have to keep it in mind for next time. See you tonight in hip hop turbo…YEAHHH!!!
Allison (the gimp)
man, I am so jealous! I wish we were neighbors because I would totally bring myself (and my loud kids!) to your house to workout! 🙂
Ha Ha Ha! Love it! Just when I’m getting into my gym groove one of my kids gets sick! My baby has a really fragile immune system this time of year so it’s impossible to take him to the gym. Makes for a lot of 5 am gym trips while the hubby is still home!
Totally impressed with your makeshift workout! I am grateful to have a treadmill and spin bike not to mention practically every cardio DVD ever created in my basement – takes some of the “sick kid” pressure off! Once again – you ROCK!
PS. Hope the little guy feels better soon!
Welcome thejulia!! Thanks so much for your kind words and for *blush* reading my stuff – I hope you’ll be a regular:) 22% IS great. Enjoy those sprints!!
Workoutmommy – I wish we were neighbors too! A good buddy can make all the difference in a workout.
Wow, you ROCK, Charlotte! 🙂 So sorry to hear your little one’s so sick! He hasn’t spread it to the other kiddos, has he?? Ugh. Anyway, I’m amazed at the workout you got at home – way to go!! 🙂 And by the way, at about 10am your time I checked the weather for where you are, and it said the temp was -13!! Is that right?!? I was SOOOO cold getting Matt off to the bus, but when I realized we were FOURTY degrees WARMER than you it didn’t seem so bad… 😉
I truly believe that the worry, anxiety, and running back and forth to get more towels that accompany a child being sick constitute a mini-workout.
Good for you for getting such an awesome workout in!
Does MBW have alternative to Plyo for those of us who are a little older and may have knee issues? Just curious.
Charlotte–
I’m with thejulia– I read your archives straight through and just really like your blog!
Question about the 12/8 sprints– how do you fit them into your workout? Are they part of your cardio for the day or are they your total cardio for the day? Do you do weights with them too?
Also, what kind of cardio machines do you find it’s easiest to do them on?
Thanks! Any info would be really appreciated!
xo,
Josie
Melissa – Yep it really is that cold here. Colder actually when you factor in the windchill. It got down to -35 yesterday and was -25 when we left the house this morning. Cold enough to freeze the snot in your nose!!
Azusmom – yes, the MBG has modifications. They actually have 3 levels of everything with the easiest being “stability” and that is no plyos (just regular or knee push-ups etc.) I’m sorry to hear your knees are bothering you!!
Josie – hey girl!! Welcome:) As for your questions: I did the 12/8 sprints (you might want to start with 8/12 though – that’s plenty hard) on my weight days. I counted that as my total cardio for that day (trust me, it was enough!). By far the best way to do them is on the upright or spinning bike. The treadmill is way to hard to program such short intervals and the elliptical just didn’t work (very hard to sprint on an elliptical!). Our second choice was the stair stepper but that was a distant second. Def. go with the bike! And let me know how you like it!