The world’s favorite purveyor of high fructose corn syrup and/or artificially sweetened tooth-decaying fizzy drinks has come out with a new marketing campaign that makes the guys behind Axe body spray look like geniuses.
The Happiness Factory
It all begins with an innocent young lad on a date trying to buy a Coke. From his date’s mute glare, he’d better get the drink or he’s getting fast-tracked to Friendville. Which doesn’t make a ton of sense since she already has an icy Coke in her hand (in a glass bottle ’cause that’s how the kids are kickin’ it these days). So what’s her problem? She just a prima donna who wants everyone to do what she does? She feeling guilty about all those empty calories she’s going to pretend to drink in a few minutes and wants company? She just hates her date?
Drama ensues when the Coke machine light flashes empty. No Coke? What kind of hellish world is this?! We are swept inside the machine to, what I can only assume from the title (yes this commercial is so pretentious as to have a title), is The Happiness Factory. Man, if I’da known happiness could be manufactured that would have saved me a lot of hard life lessons I tell you what.
Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happiness land is populated by aliens. Nary a human to be seen, which might be the most sensical part of this entire commercial. A skinny alien who reminds me strangely of this guy, goes on a quest to find more Coke. I won’t tell you what happens. You wouldn’t believe me if I did. I’ll just say it involves riding disembodied stomachs with mouths, a furry set of porno lips, and swimming with disconnected esophogeal tubes.
You want to know Coke’s magic, according to this commercial? Alien flatulence. That’s what you’re paying $1.75 a bottle for. Just thought you should know.
And oh yeah, the dude gets his Coke after which his date, having forgiven all, lays her head lovingly on his shoulder. “Slip something in my drink, baby” her eyes tease. Which is apparently what happened to Coke’s marketing department the night before.
Click on the flying stomach with glasses. Enjoy:
Charlotte is not responsible for any ill effects you may suffer from either watching this inanity or from ingesting the advertised product.
If this isn’t enough to make you scratch your head ’till it bleeds, check out the top 5 banned commercials. You just can’t make this stuff up. Well, okay somebody must have. One seriously twisted somebody.
Wow. Seriously disturbing! There are some AWFUL ads out there. Like, drop whatever you’re doing and lunge for the mute button on the remote awful. My pet peeve ad out right now is for some kind of deodorant, featuring an incredibly obnoxious, nay, bitchy woman walking down the street and flinging her arms up in the air for no apparent reason other than to show off her dry armpits.
I could have happily lived my entire life without seeing that one.
“Reportedly 2 people die every year from altercations with a vending machine
An article in the Journal of the American Medical Association documents how way back in 1988, 15 cases in which men tried to get a can of drink out of the machine were crushed. 3 died, the other 12 required hospitalization for injuries such as fractures of the skull, toe, ankle, tibia, femur, and pelvis; inter-cerebral bleeding, knee contusion, and one punctured bladder”
Now we know why….. I mean, how long do you have to wait for you Coke to dispense??
Commercials seem to get more out of hand all the time. I guess all of these companies are just determined to get people to see their ads and remember them so that their product is in mind when we make our decisions as to what to buy.
Didn’t L.A. look like that lovely valley before we decided to create the new and improved version?
Dr. J
that was messed up. SRSLY.
Oh wow. I have yet to see any of those, and I’m kinda glad. The flying stomach? Creeping me out big time.
Did you buy “Burn The Fat, Feed the Muscle” as an e-book? I suppose you must have becaue I cannot find it anywhere online. Are ebooks forward-able or do I have to make the $40 purchase? LOL. Thanks for any info you can lend.
Also – I found out that since I am not a body builder, or even close to one, I only need about .7g protein per pound of lean body mass, which means I don’t need to kill myself trying to get enough protein every day. I found that info very helpful. 🙂
Cara – I did buy the e-book. it was a good intro to bodybuilding basics & nutrition although you can find similar info for free at the library. Body For Life by Bill Phillips is very similar (and cheaper). And yeah, I knew that about the protein. My only problem is that only being “allowed” to eat protein, fats, veggies & some fruit means that unless I OD on the protein I have a very hard time eating enough calories. I just can’t eat enough veggies (esp. if I’m avoiding the starchy ones like I’m supposed to) to get my cals in. Still working on those macronutrient ratios;)
I bought some raw cashews and a pint of half and half on my lunch break. I know if I want to burn more fat, I need to cut out the dairy, but half and half is sooo satisfying. I’m also getting some of my calories from protein shakes… I only had one this morning because my roommate left out some chocolate chip cookies and I was tempted. How many carbs are you allowing yourself? I’m between 100-150gs. I was a little surprised when I wiped out half those by mixing a banana in my protein shake. Are you eating meat like a real primal being? 😉 I’m actually enjoying meat more than I’d care to admit. I just have to forget why I started in the first place, and concentrate on how my body feels after I eat it (besides constipated ;)).
I saw that armpit commercial today, gotta love it when she sniffs her own pits on the street. I still need my diet coke:(
This reminds me why I left the advertising/marketing world. Too bad. The animation of the Happy Factory was pretty impressive. The story line was just, well, made no sense really and was on the disturbing side.
I can see how this might cater to younger kids.
Now if they start making little stuffed animals out of these alien Happy Factory characters, I’m going to be even more disturbed by it all!
azusmom- i know exactly what you are talking about. every time that commericial comes on it literally makes me angry. i find it hard to believe a giant panel of boardmembers sat around a table watching that and said “YES! this is the ad we want to air to sell our product. this will really speak to people.”
Cara – you know you can just e-mail me right? (Up there, under my pic). 🙂 I’m getting ready to post my primal results for the first week. But yeah, there are some aspects of meat eating I miss. But I’m really missing my carbs too:)
about 2 minutes into that movie, all I could think was, “This is 2 minutes of my life I’ll never get back.”
Wow, I’ll have whatever those marketers are having. LOL Seriously disturbed . . .
For me the most disturbing bit is the talking tongue and eyeball. GROSS!!