A 15-year-old had prophylactic surgery to prevent an eating disorder. (Yes, I know you’re all now thinking of condoms but “prophylactic” actually means any medical procedure or practice done to prevent a disease or a condition. You’ll thank me someday.) In this Today Show piece, via Jezebel, the girl and her mother talk about how no matter how well they eat or exercise, they still have a “tummy pocket” of fat. (Note to girl: that’s what’s called being a woman. Ignore your mother, we all have it.) The mother says she was worried that her daughter would develop an eating disorder trying to lose the “pocket” and so she took her in for a breast reduction and tummy lipo.
My thinking is that if you are going to remove something to prevent an eating disorder, you’d better do a lobotomy. All this surgery does is reinforce to the poor girl that society’s standard of beauty trumps her own and that she’d better conform or they’ll cut her open again.
But the money quote of the segment goes to her plastic surgeon, the good doctor Ivan DaDollars
“I think the reality is that standards are set for how people look. By people, by the media, by TV shows and magazines. And not everyone is blessed with the right looks. […] And for something that’s easy to change. Well, it avoids a lot of difficulty at school. […] My greatest role as a plastic surgeon is to level the playing field. To give those children who are disadvantaged a chance to look better.”
I don’t know about you but when I think of physically disadvantaged children, I think of fixing cleft palates a la Operation Smile not shrinking Cheerleader Barbie from a 0 to a 00 so her tummy won’t bulge after a big lunch. I’m not trying to be hard on the girl (which is why I’m not using her name here) as she seems to obviously be a product of her environment and really is quite brave for being so honest about it all. But she screams “advantaged” in every way. She was a petite, pretty, rich girl with a flat stomach before the surgery and now she is a petite, pretty, slightly-less-rich girl with a flatter stomach.
Also, I’m not sure how everyone else seems to have missed the life-is-not-fair lesson, as I got it etched into my brain firmly by middle school, but there is no such thing as a “level playing field.” The doctor isn’t leveling a playing field, he’s lining his pockets.
Take-home moral: Rather than change the effed up standard that is making teen girls feel badly about their bodies, change the girls! Brilliant!
How to combat this insanity? Here’s one way that made me laugh so hard my kids complained that they could hear me through the heater vent and could I please be quiet as they are “twying to sweep.” Yeah right, it’s a frat party every night of the week in there.
Do you remember the scene is “Clueless” when the camera pans along a group of girls lined up against the fence during gym class? None of them can take part because they’ve all had some kind of plastic surgery, and they all have bandages on some part of their faces. It was really funny when the movie came out 12 years ago. Now it’s just a sad reflection of reality, at least for rich kids.
Another reality for a lot of these kids (with money) is that they DON’T learn that life isn’t fair. They learn that the rules don’t apply to them, that they are better, and everything they have they deserve, and they deserve everything they want.
And that plastic surgeon? He ought to get his medical license revoked.
A 15 year old having lipo? 15? FIFTEEN?! That mother is setting her daughter up for a lifetime of never quite being good enough. Jesus. There are no words…ack.
Cara
and I always wanna grab the mom and smack her upside the head…and then I remember im loving and nonjudgemental and the poor woman needs therapy not craniumcrashing.
(azusmom? such a great point about the movie scene. Loved Clueless. char? ADORED the lining his pockets sentence about the doctor as well…)
M.
what. the. @#&$. is. wrong. with. people.
??????
Oh lord. I find this SO depressing! It’s funny how twisted the use of the expression “life is not fair” can be by the over-privileged.
Glad you included the LOL-Cat fashion link, it totally made my morning. I too was laughing out loud. Those fashion spreads are so ridiculous to begin with, the really NEED lol captioning to be viewable.
Sigh
It’s not just that this poor gal will still have to deal with body image problems, although that is terrible enough for any girl. It’s that her mother has now taught her to deal with problems in a radical and unrealistic way. Don’t address the emotional and mental issues, just change the material and physical part! What happens when this girl is 30, has had 15 procedures, and still doesn’t feel good about herself?
So sad!!!
I still remember the choice I had to make after breaking my jaw at 13. I could either have an implant put on the other side of my jaw (to even it out), have my upper jaw broken to shift it over a millimeter or two, or just wait and see if I healed okay. Heck no I wasn't going to have another surgery (the first one was just to fix my jaw), that &$%# hurt! Only in very strategic photographs can you tell that one side of my jaw is more round, and one is more square. It just builds character, and that's good enough for me.
That is absolutely sick. I agree with thatwasmyveil. Her mom is setting her up for always thinking she is not good enough. So sad, and her mom needs some serious therapy.
Re: the doctor. I hear similar stuff come out of plastic surgeons mouths all the time. It truly makes me wonder about the psyche of the people who become plastic surgeons. Does he truly believe that crap?
(I know there are people who become plastic surgeons so they can help people who are deformed or have been disfigured, but it sure seems like most of them just want to make everyone “pretty” and get rich while doing it.)
They just could have put a burqa on her and been done with it 🙂
The media always looks for the bizarre case and makes a big deal about it. I try not to flare too much over these.
Oh geesh…what is next :/
Isn’t this what used to be called unnecessary surgery? Doctors would have to answer to medical boards and the patient would be subjected to a lot of psychiatric evaluation. The only way to put an end to this is to make it illegal for doctors to perform these surgeries–unless medically necessary(which some breast reductions are for young women, or cleft palate/hairlips). Performing these operations–especially when the patient’s body is not fully grown–should be ground for loss of license. The mother should be charged with child abuse, and the daughter should see a psychiatrist. If people want these operations, they can go to Brazil. Life not fair? Ask the girls and women who dodge rape gangs in the Sudan, or the women lured and trafficked through brothels in east Europe.
Just another example of fixing the symptoms but not the real problem… this is only going to serve to make the girl more self conscious, I’m sure, than if she’d been left alone.
Azusmom- couldn’t agree more!
GREAT POST, couldn’t agree more….poor girl.
Oh, poor kid. I agree this is setting her up for a lifetime of issues. Wish we could see where she is 15 years from now.
“The mother says she was worried that her daughter would develop an eating disorder trying to lose the “pocket” and so she took her in for a breast reduction and tummy lipo.”
Wow, now isn’t that simple common sense. (rolls eyes in sarcastic manner)
I think the mom’s attitude is more likely to create an eating disorder than the girl’s weight. This is very sad and I really hope that girl grows up to be healthy in mind and body.
Man, I am almost 30 and have had NO plastic anything. I really have some catching up to do…
Life isn’t fair?! Dang, when did that happen?
This is a seriously sad situation – the mother needs some counselling, in my opinion, and the child needs to be sent as a missionary to the Sudan or somewhere for a reality check on the “fairness” of life. Perhaps if she saw for herself some seriously starving people (with the stick arms and the protruding bellies) her little pouchy belly thing wouldn’t seem so bad.
But hey, what do I know?
wow. so the way to treat an eating disorder is to have major surgery that just eliminates getting fat?
cool. that teaches a lot about loving yourself and self esteem. good job. mom of the year.
WHAT DOCTOR PERFORMED THIS??
http://www.groundedfitness.com
Our young women are being held to a standard of thinness and perfection that’s near impossible to attain without starvation and plastic surgery. Children need to learn to cherish themselves for who they are, not what they look like. This mother had the opportunity to teach her child about what truly matters. A lesson that would have served her daughter well throughout her life.
Instead she has given her daughter a message that, IMO, will have a long, negative reach into many aspects of her life.
“My thinking is that if you are going to remove something to prevent an eating disorder, you’d better do a lobotomy.”
Totally agree.
It’s just drama to take some microcosm of society and make it look mainstream… That’s what most of these shows are based on. Blah, blah, blah drama. My kids change the standard “Save your drama for your Mama” to “No drama for the Mama”. I hate drama. How’s that for positive?
craniumbashing sounds about right to me for both the mom & the doctor.
"…help children who are disadvantaged" are f***ing kidding me?
I had to think long and hard about this. I had a breast reduction at 15 too. The doctor who performed it made me wait until I hadn’t changed sizes for at least 6 months and even then he reminded me that I MAY still grow. I lobbied long and hard for it and it’s the best thing I’ve ever had done. So I kinda get where this girl is coming from.
But the lipo? That’s where I’m torn. Lipo to avoid an ED is faulty thinking IMO. You’re not treating the thinking behind an ED that way. You’re reinforcing the thinness ideal without questioning it so I don’t know how it’s really going to help this poor girl.
Sorry for the ramble.
that is so sad. its appalling to me how people are. im 21 and i have never thought about having plastic surgery because there are just too many things that can go wrong and why would i want to look like everyone else? clearly this girl has never had to work for anything. i know i would feel better if i had to work for a great body, but i suppose im one of the few.