Yesterday at the park (where I met fellow fit mama blogger Mama Sweat who, I must say, is both super-toned and super-smart, a rare combination. If you haven’t read her stuff, you totally should. Just promise to keep reading me too!) I had one of those brief envy moments that strike all women from time to time. I was putting my children in their car seats (read: wrestling 3 live octopuses still wet from playing in the fountain) when I saw a shadow fall over my shoulder. A woman (NOT Mama Sweat in case anyone is skimming) with two small girls was waiting for me to finish sweating and cursing under my breath so she could calmly put her two little darlings in the car next to us.
My brief over-the-shoulder glance showed a petite woman in her 20’s with long, flowing hair, great skin and a tiny little waist accentuated by the perfect low rise jeans – all despite the fact that her youngest was all of 8 months old. I inwardly bemoaned my lack of good DNA and then clamored into my car. As seasoned moms know, it takes a good five minutes to get everyone settled before you can actually drive anywhere and so by the time I’d handed out snacks, removed shoes (why would one want to keep one’s shoes on in the car?) and turned back to the steering wheel, Model Mommy was bending over right next to my window.
And there they were. See, this is what happens with low-rise jeans people: I was up close and personal with her slimming underwear. I’m pretty sure they were Spanx – the full-body variety. Not that I know their catalog like the back of my hand or anything. Ahem. This poor mommy, already cute by any standard, had just sweated it out for several hours in 85 degree heat in binding full-body polyester/lycra shaping underwear. At a park, no less, where the only people who would see her are tiny kids and their mothers who have the pooches to go with them.
I was jealous of Spanx.
You would think that this revelation would have been, well, less of a revelation. After all, even tiny Nicole Ritchie and svelte Gwyneth Paltrow have ‘fessed up to virtually living in their Spanx – often times two pairs layered over each other. And to have such a tiny baby and such a flat stomach should have also tipped me off. But I skipped all that and went straight to lamenting the fact that we live in a MILF society. (Don’t know the acronym? Check out urban dictionary. I’m certainly not going to print it here.)
There are even maternity Spanx available because pregnancy is definitely a time you should be worried about looking thin and foxy, right? Leslie, over at the Weighting Game, has a great piece today on another effect of the MILF phenomenon.
I’m not going to decry all corsetry. I had a bustier on under my wedding dress. And I believe there is a time and place for Spanx. But the park? On a hot, humid, play-in-the-fountain toddler-n-ice cream afternoon?? Since when is it a rule that a woman has to be sexy at all times? Shouldn’t being a woman be reason enough to earn respect?
We spend enough time denouncing the oversexualization of little girls; isn’t it about time we do the same for ourselves? Moms certainly can be sexy but we shouldn’t have to be.
Photo Credit: Source
knowing nothing about having to wear such god awful devices nor being female, and esp knowing nothing about Mama Sweat, does she have a romantic partner?
Men are significantly more likely to find women with children (that they did not sire) as much less attractive, so maybe moms who do this are on the prowl, so to speak for a new daddy for the family… Just my evolutionary minded 2cents.
no spanx for me! I tried, but I felt like encased sausage.
Ha, I love the way you write hun. Spanx.. man, I better have a good reason to have them on.. no spanx at the park here.
We are sexy, spanx or not.
Smart, beautiful, confidant women are sexy.. why do we need some silly underthings to prove it?
And damn the media for telling us other wise!
Amen, sister! I think we all like some spanx every once in a while. But at the park? No way.
ok, I am so jealous that you and mama sweat got to hang out. how fun!
i tried the spanx and they didn’t do much for me, which was very depressing. They apparently need to invent industrial strength for me. (sigh)
would I wear them to the park though? Definitely not.
Anybody else suspect that maybe the prevalence of pregnant and postpartum women in the media is setting an impossible standard?
I’m usually the last person to point the finger at the press for this kind of thing, but as little as five years ago celebrities didn’t GET pregnant. They just kind of disappeared for a few years and then turned up with a cute school-age kid.
TA x
I think spanx are hot, all tight clothing is 🙂
What does respect have to do with it?
you lost me at your MEETING MAMA S.
color me jealous.
and, in the 100+ degree heat here, you can color even the most MILF’Y moms spanxless at the park.
A-MEN!
TA makes a great point! When we all have the celebrities who manage to lose all their baby weight as soon as they have the baby, no doubt many new moms feel like they must live up to that same standard. ‘Cause celebrities are real people with real jobs who raise their own kids, you know.
I will never wear spanx. Never have, never will. I am perfectly happy with my big hips and big thighs, and if someone doesn’t like it, I really don’t care! Now, where did I put my coffee?
I do chuckle at those TV commercials showing digital images of before, and 50 pounds less with the spandex casing 🙂
Of course, then they show a very slender model primping in that little black dress, like she really needs the compression!
It’s a crazy world, maybe I should have gone into psychiatry after all 🙁
PS. We eat 100* days for breakfast down here 🙂
All right, I’m going to admit it. I wear Spanx all the time when I wear a dress or a skirt, even when it’s hot and the situation is very casual. I don’t wear them under pants. I wear them because I don’t find them uncomfortable and I feel more comfortable if I have them on. I feel better because I look better. I’m not trying to be sexy, so much as presentable according to my own personal standards. It’s not necessarily a sense of being manipulated by the culture. It can be, to the extent any fashion choice is, a personal choice.
Thank you for your perspective Rena! Never be afraid to disagree here – we’re all very nice:)
Having never worn Spanx myself, I just assumed they would be hot and uncomfortable. It didn’t occur to me that people would wear them to *be* comfortable but your comment makes sense. Thanks for chiming in!
Charlotte you never cease to crack me up! You are the cutest little mama out there!
I’ve only ever worn Spanx under a dress for a special occassion. I don’t find them THAT uncomfortable, but I still wouldn’t choose to wear them on a daily basis. I’m all about the comfort with my body and I don’t choose to wear clothes that show off the lumps and bumps on a daily basis.
But I’m with tokaiangel here – I kinda do blame the media for the expectation that every woman – recently preggers or not – should be devoid of lumps and bumps or the world will collapse.
I’ve never tried Spanx, or ever really thought about it. But if I did, I don’t think I’d wear them to a day at the park with the kids. Unless I were single, and it was one of those parks with lots of hot single lads running around…
Ooooh, Spanx. I only learned what it was in the past year. I’m in the boat with fitarella and some other commentors here, that I just can’t stand being wrapped up like vacuum-packed meat. However, I did note where the Spanx section was at the local discount designer-wear store in case I need some emergency smoothing for a special event. But on a daily basis, nope, simply b/c I’d probably pee myself trying to get out of it while 2 inches from a toilet.
im no mommy, but being 21 and thin (i hate syaing crap about my self like that, but i dont fit into women’s clothes) low rise is all im left with. i dont mind them, i think they look good for the most part, but i have to strategically sit and bend over. too much thinking all because of pants.
however- there is a milf that lives next door to my guy friends, and there is no way she is under a size 10. so, for all you mommies out there 21-25 year old guys dont care about your size, its all the way you carry yourself. if having young men oggle you when you take out the trash is your goal 😉
http://www.groundedfitness.com
Spanx for men! Bring it!
Right guys!
Fellas?
Hello?
Hmmmm, I kind of don’t agree with you here. I am not a Spanx kind of gal, but if I were I would be wearing them for me, which would make anytime and anyplace appropriate for wearing them. Now, if she were only wearing them to please a pig of a husband then I would take issue with this. But I say kudos to anywoman who wants to feel sexy at anytime, even in the park.
BTW, I love the wet octopus description. You so obviously have boys. =)
“I was jealous of Spanx!” LOL. Awesome. As a woman who discovered the miracle of Spanx a year ago, I had never thought about wearing them with jeans. I still would never wear them with jeans, but I would recommend them to anyone. Spanx Rule!!!
Thanks for listening to my point and for being generous and receptive. The main point I’d want to make is that different women, for many reasons, feel differently about Spanx. It’s not a given that it’s a tight, constricting girdle that no independent woman would wear. A lot of women, like my sister, feel that way, but I don’t. They are like a kind and gentle girdle, if you can imagine it. I find them effective and I actually forget I have them on. For those of you who haven’t tried them, I’d just recommend that you try them at some point so that you can decide whether you’re more like me or more like my sister. There’s no right or wrong about this.
Right On! Great Post
Oh gosh, chiming in late I am and I was even MENTIONED in the post. How thrilling! I am so honored. That was so fun, getting a few minutes to talk in between our children taking turns dangling over waterfalls and scaling boulders… So, how did I miss this woman? Since I didn’t see her I can’t be sure, but my first gut reaction is: that was no mama; that was the nanny.
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