My Friend P: I just finished my first triathlon! It was great!!
Me: Way to, P!! I’m so proud of you! So – important question – did you pee in the lake?
I like to ask people, both relative strangers and intimate acquaintances, overly personal questions. Some call it bad manners. I call it my favorite hobby. And most of the time it’s worth the weird looks and occasional huffy response I get because people – all people – are a wealth of anecdotal information. Everyone is a researcher of their own body.
Pity the person who gets stuck on a long bus ride with me. Heaven help them if they’re some kind of athlete, personal trainer or just willing to talk about exercise because my favorite question to ask involves peoples’ workouts: what they do, what they won’t do, and what results they’ve been seeing from it. Their personal exercise philosophy, if you will. I’ve heard it all from the I Just Have Sex Five Times a Day workout (from a woman surprisingly) to the I’m Overtrained and Have Been Recovering (For Two Years) workout. But given the two constants in exercise – cardio and weight lifting – I hear a lot of variations on these two themes. You want to get strong opinions from a random stranger? Ask them how they feel about cardio.
You can break it down into three major groups:
1. Cardio Haters
2. Cardio Addicts
3. Moderation In Everything-ers
Cardio Haters
This group usually ascribe to some version of the Body Builder plan. They see cardio as a catabolic evil that steals their hard-earned muscle at worst and is a waste of time at best. Anything above a fast walk makes them run for a protein shake post haste. Often these folk have a fair amount of muscle and are very interested in supplements, protein powders and anything ending in -MAXX. They wear their biceps with red neck pride, even in sub-zero temps or highbrow restaurants. If you catch them in long sleeves, it’ll probably be of the skin tight Under Armor variety. A favorite activity is laughing at the hamsters on the treadmills or the chumps slogging through a 20-mile bike ride after work.
Cardio Addicts
This group run/bike/swim every day of the week. The most defining characteristic that I have noticed is how their cardio is internalized as a core piece of their personality. They will tell you, with obvious pride, “I am a Runner/Swimmer/Cyclist” – often before they even tell you their name. This group is overly fond of t-shirts, buttons, bumper stickers or any other accoutrement that will proclaim their devotion and dedication. The phrase “Can run circles around…” is a staple in their venacular. Often these folk are fairly thin with not a ton of obvious muscle and can recite all their split times/zones/VO2 maxes/ATs like 15-year-old boys recite supermodel stats. A favorite activity is mocking the meatheads on the weight floor for their cartoonish muscle and clogged arteries.
Everything in Moderation-ers
This group reads a lot of fitness magazines and are therefore just generally confused. Cardio is the best fat burner! But weights are the key to a fast metabolism! Try this 6-week plan and lose 10 lbs a day! We promise!! So you often see them doing what people in the know call “circuits” and what everyone else calls “schizophrenia.” This group is in the unfortunate position of being looked down on by everyone. The lifters roll their eyes at this group speeding through two sets of moderate weight, with no obvious split routine or care for recovery. The runners sigh loudly as these guys hop on and off the treadmills five times in 30 minutes, not once bothering to wipe it down. Everyone asks them how they hope to build muscle or endurance with this haphazard approach. In lieu of an answer, they’ll just chuck the latest issue of Oxygen at you as they run to their next stop, hoping that somebody hasn’t stolen one of the many pieces of equipment they’ve been monopolizing.
My Experiments
I have been in every single one of these groups. In fact, I probably cycle through all three of them on a regular basis. And, me being me, I’m always convinced that the next thing I try is going to be “it.” So here’s what I have discovered: just like there is no “it” body type for everyone there is no “it” workout for everybody either. Some people seem more naturally inclined to run fast while others put on muscle with ease. Most of us are somewhere in the middle.
My current “Cardio Experiment” is actually going really well. I’m having a blast, feeling really awesome, getting my eating back on track and just generally look forward to my workouts every day. I really ought to have called it the “doing whatever the heck I want” Experiment. And yet, despite being so very happy, I do not plan on continuing this ad infinitum. Because I am one of those people who naturally gravitate towards cardio, if left to my own devices that would be all I ever did. Except that I need weight lifting. And my shins need to not run every day. So then I switch back to one of the other camps to get motivated to do what I need to do.
Change is the Only Constant
You see, September marks one complete year of Great Fitness Experiments for me (a more thorough round up to be coming soon) and this is what I have learned:
1. Every legitimate workout works.
2. Until it doesn’t anymore.
Which is why my exercise philosophy is: embrace change. Try it all. Do everything. Love the process, even if sometimes the results are less than stellar. Have fun.
Earth shattering stuff, I know. But somehow it took me a year to learn it!
So now, I have important questions for you: which cardio group, if left on your own, do you naturally gravitate towards? What kind of exercise is hardest to motivate yourself to do? Also, gave you ever pooped in the wild and what did you use to wipe? Are you the kind of person who would try eating a puffer fish – with it’s one in 1,000 chance of instantaneous death – because it tastes awesome? Oh and one more: have you ever taken a plane to date someone you met on the Internet?
Im a hater.
but Im a do’er anyhoo’er.
but Im a huge plateau’er as well.
where my category? 🙂
must.stop.doing.stationary.bike.
the weights? I love and ponder and shuffle and mix.
the cardio? it’s the necessary evil for me. for my heart. I do it but dont love it and hath never peed in a lake OR peed my nike trail shorts while doing so 🙂
Miz.
Hilarious!Whenever I see a woman with crazy super long dragonlady nails I always wanna ask how they wipe themselves after pooping. gross i know.
I am a everything in moderationer. some days i love cardio (LOVE to run), some days i hate it and only want my weights.
HATE stationary bike (sorry MizFit).
no on the puffer fish. too chicken.
Yes on the plane thing (well, kind of.) I used to be a flight attendant so I’ve dated someone EVERYWHERE!
What about the cardio-ambivalent?? I ride the lazy-man bike (recumbent) because it’s a comfortable spot to read a book.
If only they could add some pillows to the treadmill.
I definitely cycle (ha, ha) btw all three. Currently more in a cardio/circuit phase due to CF. Which I am loving. Caught a plane to meet up with someone I met on a plane. Disaster and I immediately caught another plane home. World’s quickest trip to Thailand. Ever.
Haha, great pic 🙂 I wonder what bottom left is fishing for…
Pooped in the wild… bring your own tissue. Foresight/preparation is key 🙂
In the gym, I’m a cardio hater. But, I bike to work semi-regularly and run outside semi-regularly, until it gets cold out. Then, I’m just a cardio hater.
I absolutely will not run on a treadmill. I think I’m running-ADD because I can’t maintain a constant speed at all.
It depends what type of cardio.
I like sprints [sport sprints] and dancing. But I can’t stand running constantly.
It’s very interesting =]
wonnnnnderful post 🙂
it made me think, back in my hardcore dieting days I used to think i’d find The Perfect Diet Plan that would be The One to soothe my woes and food demons forever, then i realised there was really no such bloody thing and I had to do what i enjoyed and what worked for me and my life…
but now i see i’m prone to doing the same thing with exercise – hoping that i’ll read THE book or the website with the perfect fitness program to make me fit and buff forever. So looks like i’ve just substituted my big file o’ diet books for fitness books… eeek 🙂
I heart cardio! Weights, I had to learn to love, but also realized it did my body good.
I am a runner who has not ran in almost 3 weeks due to surgery.
and i poop in the wilderness all the time. i usually carry tissues with me for that purpose.
I’m a runner. I’m more excited about a half marathon coming up in December than I am about my birthday in November.
Left to my own devices I would run and neglect all else. Fortunately, I know better than that, so I do force myself to strength train my upper body. For runners, weights can help improve power and endurance.
But I don’t really like lifting. Don’t hate it, but certainly don’t like it much.
Oh, and my brother is the exact opposite.
Currently, weights and the elliptical. I was a runner but I busted up my knee, so now I’m on impact probation.
I’m probably one of those Everything-in-moderationers
I’m not looking to run a marathon OR smash through walls with my fists.
Also, when pooping in the wild, sometimes it’s unexpected. Large leaves will work in a pinch. One one hand, you’re probably going to get muddy, but on the other, you’d probably rather have the faint odor of loam and earth than the less-than-faint odor of poo when you’re done.
It’s also 100% earth-healthy. *winks*
If you DO take toilet paper or kleenex or something, do the world a favor and bag it instead of just leaving it. That’s littering. And nobody wants to pick up your poo-litter.
I’m probably in the middle category–I like cardio more than weights, which is not saying much!
It’s weird, despite the fact that once I’m doing it I often have a good time, I always dread all forms of exercise but walking and never look forward to it.
You’d think after decades of doing it all the fun times I’ve had would lessen the dread–but I always think: yuck, gotta go exercise.
1. I am one of the Everything in Moderation-Ers, and I do tend to bounce around between activities.
2. The hardest thing is just getting started – no matter what exercise it is.
3. No, therefore N/A.
4. Probably not.
5. No.
🙂
I agree with the whole confusion thing…More cardio? Less Cardio? All weights all the time? Aw, heck, I’m just going to do some yoga….
Basically I figure I’ll just keep on exercising, bouncing around from activity to activity, as the mood strikes me, in the hope that it will help keep me healthy.
I’d fall in the cardio group like a pig in mud and never leave if I could. Running is easy, no-thought-necessary, it’s how I relax and come up with new ideas. Weights require concentration and counting and I suck at math (I also put on muscle like a steroid afficiando and it can be very scary). However, like many of the other cardio junkies, I do a few days of LIGHT weights for upper body skulpting and because I shouldn’t run everyday.
Poo in the wild? Yup. Just don’t use poison oak to wipe–everyone will know what you did the next week.
Pee in lake? Nope. Lakes scare me and I run away (Huge lake wimp).
Fly to internet date? No. My husband scooped me up before internet dating was big. However, I have flown to meet my husband in other cities–just to sight see of course *grin*.
Forgot one! I’d definitely try puffer fish! Actually, I’ll try any food once…except maybe those little roasted scorpions in that Kashi commercial…
hate cardio…unless it’s disguised in KB or other weight bearing activities.
working on increasing my running from 2 to 2.5 miles (how lame is that??) because I’m convinced it’s the only way to thin out my legs.
avoid any activity that would include the option of pooping in the woods.
would eat the fish… ate the hump of a cow in Brazil…
did they have planes when i was dating???
Great post, Charlotte. Definitely coffee worthy.
Cardio lover.
What kind of exercise is hardest to motivate yourself to do?
Strength training.
Also, gave you ever pooped in the wild?
No.
Are you the kind of person who would try eating a puffer fish – with it’s one in 1,000 chance of instantaneous death – because it tastes awesome?
No. There are other awesome tasty foods that won’t kill me (at least not instantly). 🙂
Oh and one more: have you ever taken a plane to date someone you met on the Internet?
No.
I love my cardio – if I could run/walk/hike and nothing else I would be a happy person…but I know I must lift weights, yuck. It’s not that I mind the weights so much, I just love the total clarity you get from really exerting yourself in cardio. I just get shaky arms from weights, and they’re not even heavy. Plus, I can’t do my weights outside, I need my DVD player to follow along. That’s probably another reason I don’t enjoy it so much.
Puffer fish? No thanks. Pee/poop in the wild? Nope and scared to death it will happen to me. Online dating? Nope. I am so boring! Perhaps I should try that fish… 🙂
I started running years ago to address my high blood pressure. My dad had started before me for the same reason and it worked for him and it works for me. I was 140/90 and now am a consistent 110/70. Integrating running into my lifestyle seems to have given me a good foundation for all the other activities I like. Like Charlotte, I usually like it, but I cycle through various feelings. The important thing from my viewpoint, I just do it!
I don’t fit!
I guess I fit the moderate category most, but I’m not an exercise ping pong ball 🙂
I have some days when I do cardio exclusively, and for a good hour at least (step, cycling, kickboxing), some days when I do weight lifting, some days when I do both. For me, it’s important to have both to be fit. So I firmly stand by my varied approach (otherwise called confused) 🙂
I’m doing the 100 pushup program, and did 50 consecutive pushups on Sunday! Then, when I was doing jumping jacks in class yesterday, I noticed that I actually have dimples in my shoulders that I never had before. Woohooooo! My body type isn’t the kind that normally gets good muscle definition, so I cheercheercheer when I get even the smallest bit.
“This group reads a lot of fitness magazines and are therefore just generally confused.”
Yeah, I think this is me. Right down to the fitness magazines.
Actually, I think I’d like to have a more consistent, normal “program” or routine, but I can’t justify paying for a good gym with good childcare, and my husband’s schedule is too inconsistent for me to be consistent.
Lately, I’m loving going for walk/runs while my 4 yo son rides his bike, and we “race.” Great exercise, great fun. But just when we started to get into a groove, we finally get some rain that won’t stop.
Generally, I hate cardio, and muscle through it when I can. I’m liking the weights, but injured my neck/shoulder somehow, and haven’t touched anything in a week while I try to get it to heal.
The wildest place I ever pooped was an outhouse outside a convenience store (no convenient bathrooms) in Alaska in the middle of a blizzard. It had toilet paper.
No puffer fish. No internet dating, although both my and my husband’s ex-spouse met their current partners that way. Pee in the ocean when necessary, but once on a float trip (after having too many jello shots) could NOT manage to pee in the water, behind the trees, or ANYWHERE, and it was the greatest gag for my float trip partners.
What did your friend say when you asked her that? LOL.
I'm a moderationer. But when I start feeling a little pudgy around the stomach, I run. For some reason, it makes me feel so much better than lifting weights —> It makes me feel like I'm making a greater impact on my body.
I just started exercising on a consistent basis about 3 months ago and am finding that I love, love, love cardio. I struggle with it, but it’s getting easier. I can see myself eventually landing in the cardio addicts group.
I have to motivate myself to do things like squats and lunges. I don’t know what type of exercise that is, but I don’t like it and I complain every time I have to do it.
Never pooped in the wild, wouldn’t eat anything with a chance of instantaneous death and have never taken a plane for a date.
I am naturally a cardio junkie if left to my own devices. A personal trainer I knew once referred to people like me as the “hamsters” at her gym, while the obsessive lifters were “dumbbells”. Derogatory? Yes. Funny? Yes. Point, that everyone needs balance.
It’s hard to get me to focus on doing weights for more than a 20min stretch. I tend to take classes that involve resistance training to make up for it.
A puffer fish? No. Apparently, they don’t taste as good as you’d think. It’s the fear that makes it so appealing I’m told.
I’ve never taken a plane to date someone I met on the internet, but I have taken one to spend the weekend with someone I had only gone on 4 dates with before they moved…
I love cardio! Whenever I re-start an exercise program, I begin with cardio for at least a month. Then my husband reminds me that I should lift some weights too. Feels like he’s trying to take cardio away from me by suggesting something else. I guess that nails me as a cardio nut. Weightlifting makes me feel self conscious, like someone will notice I’m doing it wrong.
I definitely bring toilet paper with me when I’m out on a backpacking trip and a small shovel to cover it up properly. On occasion, I scuba dive in the ocean and when the instructor told us to “just pee in your wetsuit,” I was mortified. But hey, what are you going to do, swim back to the boat and take off all your gear? Gotta say though, the warming sensation is kinda nice when you’re cold. Ewww! I know.
I’m not a risk taker when it comes to unusual foods, so no puffer fish for me.
Also, I didn’t fly to meet someone from the Internet, but my sister-in-law did. I thought she was crazy to do it and worried about her the whole time she was gone. Glad she made it back home safely.
1) I gravitate towards the runners.
2) Once when camping, but we brought toilet papaer. Not sure if that still counts?
3) Way to chicken for that. I would do anything I could to stop someone I loved from eating it, too.
4) No. But I did meet my husband on the internets. He just happened to live in my city.
I used to hate cardio and love weights. Then I hated weights and loved cardio. Now I’m mostly an moderation-er. I do my run and then bop around the gym doing my own little circuits for a while. For some reason lately I’ve been getting back to non-weight bearing exercises like pushups and major ab busting workouts. Should probably change that!
As for exercise, I think you have it right, doing is better than not doing, and always changing it up is key(and doing something harder to continually improve yourself, which I keep trying to tell my mother who has been taking the same aquacize class since I was FOURTEEN and complains she just can’t make any progress).
As for what’s hard to do…depends on the day. Sometimes I’m totally excited for my run, sometimes I’m looking forward to weights. I think the hardest thing to get myself to do is something out of the ordinary – like running outside or rock climbing or ice skating. For some reason the fun stuff feels more optional than the regular workout. Might need to work on that too…
Yes, I’ve pooped in the woods. Used a nice soft leaf. What can I say, I was 10!
I’d give any other weird food a try, but probably not one that could result in death.
I never took a plane to meet someone from the internet, but I did drive a few hours to meet up with someone I met on a cruise. That’s about my wildest. 🙂
Love cardio, but only certain types. Walking, riding my bike outside, spinning, swimming, all get my thumbs-up. Running? Not so much. Some people are just natural runners (hubby) while others of us just can’t do it.
But I love weights, too. And yoga. And, of course, pilates.
Yes, I have pooped in the woods (PLEASE bring a bag to pack the toilet tissue in after use!) and peed in a lake. But not during a triathlon. I’m too wimpy for those.
1. i’m mostly a do everything-er, but i get in cardio mode, too. which is funny, because i’m so cardio add.
2. i haven’t yet had a chance to poop in the woods, but i’ve peed in the woods many a time.
3. i’d so eat fugu.
4. i’ve had boyfriends i’ve met off the internet. actually, all of them.
and i haven’t been able to pee in a lake for a tri yet. 🙁 from what i hear, i’m missing out.
I’m reading this while eating my whey-protein enriched breakfast cereal, preparing for a loooong run, while still a bit sore from Monday’s kettlebell workout.
I’m guessing moderation lover.
And I know where several good sites are along the running trail than have adequate brush cover for using as an outdoor loo. A friend and I were discussing the scary feeling of getting a leaf or twig stuck in your shorts when you pull them back up and thinking it’s a bug! Aieeee!
I am definitely a hybrid. I love lifting weights and the external muscles it brings, but I also am first and foremost a swimmer/runner (and begrudgingly a biker to complete triathlons). I guess it depends on the day, as some days I dread the cardio part of my workout and some days I don’t feel like lifting.
Sure, I would try puffer fish, anything once, but I usually don’t end up liking them 🙂
HaHa Love the characterizations of the 3 groups! Hilarious.
I’m a runner — because everyone who is better than me has already passed me, and I have passed or get to pass those whom I am better than. (awkward grammar) I am curious how fast are Dr J’s mile-splits on average, as he logs miles. (HaHa at myself) But I have to rest a day in between my 5k runs or sore foot-bones! 🙁
I try to do occasional weights for upper-body sculpting but too often strain my weak back muscles, so then I can’t run for a week. Grr, curse-you-evil-weight-things!
Haven’t done internet-dating, but wife says get off the internet and take her on a date. 🙂
I’m definitely a cardio hater. My rationalization is that, done properly, a good weight lifting workout will have your heart beating faster than a long steady jog would, anyway.
For the rest of your questions: Yes; toilet paper (the special camping biodegradable kind). No, but I had to think about it. And no, but only because of the internet part.