Parroting the oft-told axiom that men find strong women frightening, a personal trainer at the Y today said of Gym Buddy Allison and I: “Those girls scare me.”
My first reaction was, “Us? Scary??” We’re about as scary as the Hamburgler. (Seriously, Ronald McDonald is scary. But if I met the Hamburgler in a dark alley? You know it’d start with “gimme your wallet” and end with fist bumps and “just messin’ with you, man!”) Perhaps the trainer was afraid that we’d do something stupid and make quadriplegics out of ourselves and sue the Y. But I’m pretty sure that all-encompassing liability waiver we signed when we got our memberships prevents us from ever living that dream. Besides, while we try lots of different things, we don’t do anything terribly risky. The worst we’re in danger of are some wicked bruises, a rolled ankle or possibly a pulled ab muscle from laughing too hard.
My second reaction was to puff out my chest and growl, “He should be scared, by golly! We could kick his butt!” And then I realized that anyone who says “by golly” – even in their imagination – is inherently not scary. Plus, I like to talk big (and kiss my biceps when no one’s looking) but I really have no idea how to handle myself in a fight. In a showdown, I’m sure I’d be the one eating mat. Allison and I can’t even play basketball without apologizing every 2 minutes and saying, “No really, you take another shot – I had the ball last time!” It’s kinda pathetic, actually.
Gym Buddy Mike has his own theory. “It’s because you guys have no fear and that’s what personal trainers usually do, is help people overcome their fears. He knows you don’t need him.” He added, “Take it as a compliment, really.” It’s true. Allison and I do not worship the personal trainers as the purveyors of all fitness knowledge. Which isn’t to say that he is stupid. I’m sure he knows many things that I do not. I’m just saying that we dare to use the “weird” equipment and try out new exercises and we’re not reliant on the personal trainers to show us how.
Or perhaps he finds us scary because we are markedly unfeminine in the gym. Despite always wearing sports bras and pony tails, we routinely invade the male-dominated areas of the gym. We wear weight gloves and talk about one-rep maxes. We can list seven different exercises to hit all three heads of your shoulder. We do CrossFit and pull-ups and handstand pushups. I even belched today – loudly – for good measure. We’re working up to scratching ourselves.
I have to say, I’m a little sad that he finds us “scary,” for whatever reason. Because ultimately I’d rather work with people and share knowledge then be fighting them for gym space. In the end though, I’d rather be scary than weak so if being strong makes me scary then bring it on.
I like confident fit women! They don’t scare me, they give me hope 🙂
When I first saw that Rotten Ronnie pic some months ago I was bent in half laughing for quite a while!
I can understand the “scary” comment, however it definitely was a poor choice of words. Intimidating is more like it. People are typically intimidated by those that are confident and/or better than them in something.
Be proud! I’d love it if someone were intimidated by the length of time I could spend on a treadmill or just me calling muscles by their proper names ( I refer to lats as dinosaur muscles).
You’re awesome. Fantastic post as usual 😉
Scary? You’re my inspiration! Pooh pooh that trainer (yeah, I DID say “pooh pooh” cuz I’m working on the tough-girl routine myself) and know that folks like you help folks like me keep going!
Oh man, WHAT century are we in?!?!?! Strong women are scary? NO! Strong women rock!
I was training a couple of clients today, and I saw a woman just KILLING it out on the floor. She was doing plyo jumps on and off of a step 6 risers high, followed by pull-ups, followed by more plyo, moore pull-ups, and then she went to the weights.
It was GREAT!!!!!!!
You ladies are awesome.
Hey Charlotte, you make me want to crash your workouts when I see you in the mornings. Wish I had enough confidence to invade the “men’s” side of the gym!
Oh Charlotte, we are alike in many ways… The Man is a fan of basketball, and I tried to play with him once… It ended up that way “why do you keep bumping into me? Dude, that hurts! Stop it! Come on, get out of the way, let me shoot! You’re so rude!”
Yeah…
Also, a few months back, while attempting to act very tough, I punched him in the shoulder and proceeded to break my 5th metacarpal. That’s how tough I am, in my head…
They’re just scared you’ll lift more than them and that they’ll be mocked for the rest of their lives by their testosterone buddies. I’ve seen it happen and it’s not pretty!
I LOVE watching strong women at the gym doing crazy workouts, it’s so inspiring!
Personal trainers are used to being the know-all and the motivator. When they see sisters doing it for themselves with no trouble at all, I can imagine some might feel dispensible….
TA x
(is it wrong that after reading this 3 times my thought is still IT’S BETTER TO BE ANYTHING THAN WEAK?)
You make me laugh at such early hours in the morning. I love that you invade every corner of your gym to try different things. Plus, I’m extremely jealous that you can do pull-ups. I still have to use the assisted pull-up machine.
I’m jealous of the pull-ups. I can only do one (I have trouble with doing the negative part slow enough so that I don’t end up having to fight my own momentum).
ME TOO!
That part about apologizing in basketball? Totally me. My ex used to try to teach me self defense moves and how to box, and he’d tell me to hit him and I’d wail “but I don’t want to hurt you!”. If I’d had it my way he would have had padding up to his ears before I’d start trying out the different moves.
I love your strength.
One of the worst things for me is to ever be perceived as weak, physically or emotionally. I’d like for men to be a little scared of me! 😉
My 13-year-old daughter has started getting up in the mornings (at 6 a.m.) with a friend to go run and go to the school’s weight room. She wants to be strong. I’ve never been more proud of her for anything.
And Ronald McDonald? My 4-year-old thinks he is Satan.
You scare him because you are an example to everyone in the gym that they don’t need to shell out cash for a personal trainer.
You scare him because he knows his clients really want to work out with you!! Clearly, more fun.
I like people that know they dont need me as a trainer. If someone asks what i do, and I tell them, and i dont get bombarded with questions about what they should be doing at the gym/work this muscle/lose weight- I want to give them a hug.
Kelly Turner
http://www.groundedfitness.com
The trainer is intimidated because your gym prowlness threatens his manhood. Good luck working up to scratching yourselves 😉
Let me get this straight. Women who spend time somewhere other than the treadmill in the gym are scary – but the roided-up meatheads stalking the weight room aren’t?
Ok.
Let’s just say that I’m a guy, and -I’m- scared of the weight room. Trust me, it’s not because of the females that are there (there aren’t any, generally).
Yeah, you’re scary. So very, very scary. Ha!
Don’t worry. This guy just wants women in their conventional role. That’s what he’s scared of. He’s probably also scared of guys who opt for a toned look, wear highlights in their hair, and get pedicures. Oh! Ssscary! (Pronounce that, in your mind, with the slightest lisp).
If that’s scary, I want to be scared all of the time.
Ronald McDonald does scare me though for real. That picture is hilarious.
I love your title. I blogged about this same sort of thing a long time ago (I saw this 64 year old woman who just competed in a fitness competition and looked all buff and crazy and how I wanted to be like that when i’m “old”. All the comments I got were how everyone else thought she was scary and wanted to be all grey haired and grandmotherly and get helped across the street. I couldn’t imagine having to get help carrying dog food or putting something on the top shelf. I want to be strong forever.)
hmm, that was a strange comment… point is – I agree. this post made me happy.
Scary?? I think intimidated and jealous are more accurate. I think you have learned enough over the last few years that you could be an excellent personal trainer and that just makes him jealous.
Wow. The trainer is either worried about you putting him out of business, or he’s a relic from a different time, when women were “supposed” to be weak. Or maybe he’s intimidated by you ladies because he’s more insecure than you and wouldn’t attempt HALF the stuff you do.
Yeah. I like that last reason. Rock on with your bad selves. 🙂
i’m not scared of you – just jealous. 🙁 😉
pull-ups, i shall master you someday!
As an instructor for Naval security forces for two years, I was often told that I was scary. Huh? Was it because I could project my voice, had a lot of self-confidence, had no issue showing exactly how handcuffs work and why and could take 48 bullets and put them in a 3-inch diameter circle? This is what some of my students found so intimidating. This is also what my boyfriend finds to be hot!
Girls who can do pull-ups rock! I’m working back up to them, I think I’m almost there!