Sure we can all laugh about those hokey Slim Fast ads from our youth but every year a new diet or diet product comes out with advertising that is guaranteed to make you giggle. Or throw something. While TokaiAngel highlighted a new one from Nestle, here are some of my favorite oldies. For more bonus Friday fun, Loey suggested that everyone in their comment tell us why they picked their username. I’ll go first: I use Charlotte because… it’s my first name. I’m really original, I know.
Hey, who isn’t happy when they eat lard?!?
I like my tapeworms sanitized and jar-packed. You?
Because everyone knows you’re better off dead than fat. Duh.
I’m pretty sure this is the same Kellogg of breakfast cereal fame. What would the low-carbers think of this diet?
I think this sums up the Hollywood diet pretty well. Do you think they had to tell the models how to act strung out or did they know how to do it all on their own? (10 points to Leslie for spotting the nip-slip first!)
Every woman does have a problem when their “figure” can’t breathe because of a steel-boned corset.
See, this is what happens when the style in women’s fashion is below-the-knee dresses. Instead of worrying about muffin top, you’re paranoid about thick ankles. We can’t win.
This one isn’t vintage (yet) – you can actually buy it at Sephora right this very second!! Although I find this every bit as laughable as a box of cereal as a weight-loss panacea.
While they’re not touted as a diet aid, I’m pretty sure I’d lose weight (or the kids) with “mother’s little helper” pills!
Nothing says love like cancer. Although I hear you do lose a lot of weight.
This list is awesome 🙂 It’s so… interesting to see all of these “solutions”. Tapeworms?!?!?! I mean I’d heard of that, but I never saw the ad before. Very cool post, Charlotte 🙂
those ads are all so ridiculous.
thanks for finding them for us!
Wow, two solutions to a weight problem, eh? So, you can either drink diet crappy soda, or just shoot anyone who makes a comment on your weight. (That’s what they meant, right?)
And, um, if some guy blew smoke in my face? I’d probably smack his.
Finally, my user name is a combination of my kids’ names and, well, “Mom.”
My mother has called me Tooterbelle or Toots for as long as I can remember. Now I am Big Toots because my godchild (who is the closest they are getting to a grandchild for a long time) is Little Toots. I’m not a big fan of being “Big.” Oh well, love my mom. The other play on the name is Tootsie Roll Pop, and wouldn’t you know, my sweethearted boyfriend sent me some in a care package last week.
Those ads are hilarious!! 🙂 But we have stuff these days that is just as laughable. I worked for a call-centre one summer, selling diet pills and shakes over the phone… I’m going to hell for the scripted lies I told… 🙁
My user name is Shivers because it’s one of my nicknames for my real name – Siobhan (an Irish name, pronounced Shivawn). Very boring really… sorry… 🙂
and the tapeworms made me wonder if leeches were ever touted for weightloss?
ick.
Amazing ads (thanks for the shout-out!)! I’m off to check out the new Shiritake Tofu Tapeworm section at my local health food store RIGHT NOW.
I have always been TokaiAngel, since the internet was invented. My favourite guitar (Tokai) plus my favourite pub at the time (the Old Angel – pretty much my second home). It’s been my alter-ego for 12 years!
TA x
AHhhh I was curious about your name TA! Mystery solved… 🙂
The ads make me wonder what we’ll be laughing at in 40 years.
Oh my gosh, that Shasta ad is horrible!
“Heather McD” because prior to getting married, last name was McIntosh, and I went by “Heather Mac”. My married name begins with a “D”, and everyone refused to give up the “Mac”. Hence, “Heather McD”
Those are hilarious!
Charlotte, I’m boring too – Colleen is my first name. Although, sometimes I go by Beanie when I comment on blogs which was given to me by my big sister…and now pretty much everyone calls me that.
“Dr.” cause I’m a doctor.
“J” cause my name starts with the letter “J.”
Nickname given to me by basketball buddies cause I’m a shooter 🙂
also, notice how incredibly anti-woman these all are. where did you find them? Some of ’em would be fab as ironic tee shirts (Selnder Ankles; Happy/Lard). Hannukkah present!
What? WHAT?!? “Blow it in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere!”
I’m just leaving that alone….
The Tapeworm Diet lost favor due to anal itching (seriously).
“Tricia” is my nickname, but my blog’s title “Girly Jock” was originally because I wanted to talk about hair/makeup-type stuff in addition to sweaty stuff. And also to send the message that it was possible to be a jock and feminine.
These ads are too funny! Although I’m wondering where I can get a big bottle of Nervine online? From the picture, that stuff looks fun!
My username is pretty darn self-explanatory. However, I did google first to make sure there were no other “Crabby McSlacker’s” out there before I took it. So if you google “Crabby McSlacker” now, I figure all 6710 results are probably me–meaning I need to get my butt of the Web and get a life.
I’m loving reading about everyone else’s!
“Blow in her face.” HEH!
I am a teenage boy, hi.
Not really. I chose Liz Turtle as my blogger name because Liz is a variation on my middle name and Turtle-style is how I’m losing weight!
Wait, there’s lip gloss that’ll make you thinner? Who knew! Ugh.
Great list of ads! There’s also the Equinox ad where all the women who don’t have a man have plastic surgery lines on them (but they’re already too-thin looking).
I was originally the Lethological Reader, but then changed my blog to food. Lethological comes from my inability sometimes to come up with the right word. I’ve been known to say things like “that wheely thing you put books on” or “that round thing you put drinks on.”
For all of them I just want to say "holy &@%! are these for REAL?!" These made me laugh. I love this post.
Don't really feel as though I need to explain the username I use:) I'd be also interested in knowing how peoples' blogs got their titles.
PS Azusmom, Shivers, and TA? I've always wondered about your names! It's neat to now know the story behind them.
Slenderize Lip Gloss is a weird concept but I drink that Fuze Slenderize juice sometimes and it isn’t half bad.
My name is a semi-phonetic spelling of my first name Kia and last name before getting married. I’ve had fun times on Yahoo messenger before because “Keya” is a popular Indian name. So many random men from Bangalore used to contact me that it stopped being funny.
Wow.. thats great.. I thouroughly enjoyed these!
The SoG
Thanks for your site. I need the encouragement and found it here.
Come and read my real life story and how it worked for me. http://nicolesweightloss.true.ws/
I agree, a lot of them would make great ironic t-shirts. Especially the lard one.
Quix is a fairly new persona. I love long and complicated words, one of which is quixotic, which I changed to quixotique because spelling it the right way, it’s usually taken. No one could spell it, so I shortened it to Quix.
Hilarious ads – also kinda funny because, OBVIOUSLY only women worry about their weight. Men, NEVER.
As for my name: Gem = Gemini, fit = what I want to be.
🙂
ahhhhh, drugs, cigarettes and guns, you don’t have to convince ME to go on a diet like that! 🙂 Thanks for the laffs.
singingfrog… Well…. I have gone to college to learn classical singing… and I am French.
“Blow in her face?!” SERIOUSLY?! Wow. Words fail. (Well, no they don’t, but they’re not PG-rated words, so I’ll keep them to myself.)
My name is . . . my name. Sounds like “Marcy” with an extra “t” in it. But my name is a combination of my parents’ names, so it’s still pretty unusual. 🙂
These ads are hilarious, except for the one where the models are snorting the dress. That’s just scary because they look like hell and because they look like they know how to handle the little paper tube thingy. Yuck.
As for Anya. It’s my super-spy code name…obviously I’ve watched too many Bond films.
Yay!! I’m always curious about people’s screen names….
Loey is a nickname still used by many of my friends. I was always called by my last name, Lewis, because my first name is pretty popular and I was a total tomboy when I was younger. Then in high school we had an Eastern European teacher who pronounced “Lewis” as “Lois”, and I became Lois, and every derivative there of, on a fulltime basis. Loey (it rhymes with “Joey”) is one version that has stuck around for a long time.
No dieting… Okay. No exercise… cool. NO BATHS?! I was seriously considering getting tape worms up until that point.
I… I’m not sure I can tell you why I’m called that.
Wow, that Shasta one truly was alarming!
aboyn3girls is the composition of children that I have 1 boy, 3 girls. Figured I could choose that name once I was done having kids…I better not have to change it later!!!
No diet, no baths, no exercise? What do baths have to do with your weight? AND, why would you want to forgo baths?
Now who wouldn’t feel better after eating buckets of lard?
I have no idea where my username came from. 🙂
Damn! The secret to my steady nerves is out. Since I started taking that stuff, I’ve lost the ability to spell my name correctly too.
Do they have nervine for spouses too?
The SoG
Cool ads! I do love me some Shasta– is it really low cal? I don’t think so.
My user name is an abbreviation of my first name “Christina” into my favorite nickname “Ctina” and the artista is cute and rhymes and belies some of my art school background.
It was my user name on a dating website 4 years ago.. and i liked it so much i kept it for everything.
wow, I..um…wow. Disturbing.
Im off to snort cotton tanks, then rub the loose thread into my gums.
Kelly Turner
http://www.groundedfitness.com
The tapeworms are my favorite. The cigarette ad is classic, too. Nothing slims you down like chemotherapy. My very sarcastic husband loves to jokingly recommend licking salmonella filled raw chicken as a sure fire way to lose weight.
I was standing in line at Target and looking at magazine covers out of boredom when I realized there wasn’t a single one on the rack that didn’t mention weight loss. And there were a few poking fun of very slender women for having a “bulge.” Never mind that it was hip bones and organs. But if they lost a couple more pounds, the mags would be all over them for being “Nicole Riche” thin. Insanity.
And I got my username off my birth certificate.
Pingback:The 20 Best (Worst) Vintage Diet Ads [Part 2 - Because I just love these things SO much]
Pingback:The 20 Best (Worst) Vintage Diet Ads [Part 2 - Because I just love these things SO much] | Elite Daily Diet and Fitness