Karate surprised me. As you may recall, I informed Sensei Don at the beginning of the Experiment that I was less interested in the mental aspects of Karate and more interested in the killing people. He was kind enough to tell me some things about the more lethal aspects but also gently guided me back toward the mental and spiritual aspects of the martial art. It turns out that to do the former well, you have to be good at the latter.
This irritated me. I don’t like busy work and the standing basics and kata repetitions were a bit reminiscent of Madonna/Gwyneth Paltrow’s 100-rep workout. Usually it entailed me ordering one of the Gym Buddies to count to 100 while I chattered and used them for free therapy (they’re very good to me!). But somewhere along the way, I started to realize what Sensei Don meant.
Three Life Lessons I Have Learned From 30 Days of Karate
1. When Someone Pushes, Pull Them Towards You. One of the things Sensei Don taught us was a game called “Sticky Hands.” Check out this video to watch as Gym Buddy Allison and I explain the game and give a very giggly demonstration of how to do it (Yes, I know how very unKarate like we look. You think this was bad, you should have seen us in the Dojo. Sensei Don is nothing if not patient.)
The hard part of the game is that it is counter-intuitive. What is your gut reaction when someone pushes you? To push back, of course! But Karate taught me the power in pulling them in closer – not only do you use their momentum against them but it usually unbalances them. And I discovered that this little lesson applies to more than just punches and shirt grabs.
This past month I was having an intense emotional struggle with one of my good friends. I won’t detail the cattiness that ensued but succificeth to say I ended up at the gym in tears one night. As I bit my lip and tried not to look like the 12-year-old I really am, I remembered the Sticky Hands game and something Sensei Don had told me: “The hardest part is giving up control to the other person.” You know what a control freak I am. But I decided that he was right. There was no point in fighting with a person who was dear to me. Instead, I let her decide when and if to throw the (emotional) punches. When she did, instead of retaliating or feeling hurt, I simply drew her into me. I did my best to redirect the hurt and be gentle while she worked through her own momentum. I can’t even tell you what a difference that made. Within days, my peace was restored. I found that to get control, I had to give it up first.
2. There Is Beauty In the Details. This is the part I wanted most to skip over in my Karate training. The kata is like a dance but made up of stances, kicks and punches. A very stilted and formal dance. With no music. Unless you count the funny “ki-ya”s we got to do. And yet because Sensei Don told us it was important to learn, the Gym Buddies and I did our best to squelch our silliness and practiced it faithfully several times a day. Although we may have broken out into Rockette kicks on a few occasions. It couldn’t be helped.
Then one day I realized I liked it. There was a sense of mastery in remembering the order and I felt amazingly accomplished the first time we all got it right. (There was screaming and a few cheerleader jumps. No chest bumping though – Gym Buddy Megan is pregnant, remember?)
But the moment when I truly realized its worth was when we performed it for Sensei Don. He stepped in and showed us what we had really learned: a sequence of moves that was not arbitrary, like I had thought, but was designed to block and attack a certain offense. And when I did it right, it worked! In all the self-defense classes I’ve taken, I’ve never actually ended up with a move that really worked. And now I had three! I was positively giddy. I went home and tried them on my husband. They worked on him too! That is until he decided to just throw me over his shoulder and tickle me until I threatened to pee on him. That little technique isn’t covered in self-defense books but I’ve had good results with it.
3. Unrestrained Emotion Hurts. I wrote early on about how Karate was more emotional for me than I had expected due to my previous experience with being assaulted. Never before have I ever felt so very fragile during an Experiment. And I think it made me stronger. Karate is good therapy.
The first time I felt this strength was during one of the first lessons when Sensei Don asked if he could touch my throat. He had no way of knowing that that is my absolute panic spot. Even now, thinking about it, makes my heart pound and the bile rise in my throat. I don’t let anyone touch my neck, not even my children. I believe my response was to throw Gym Buddy Megan under the bus. “Can you do it on her?” Sensei Don replied that he would but he wanted me to feel where the pressure points on the neck were. And so I said yes. And you know what? I was okay. Not great – I did tear up a bit but I don’t think anyone noticed – but I was okay. And now I know that about myself.
The second time was much more dramatic. After all those weeks of drills, Sensei Don finally deemed us ready to punch something. So he got out his pads and showed us a drill where we did two punches and a block as hard as we could for two minutes straight. Now, I have done intervals. And I will tell you that this rivals the 800m sprint as the highest intensity interval training I have ever done. It had something that sprinting does not though: I got to hit stuff. Within just a few punches I discovered the satisfying thrill of smashing my hand into something – hard. It felt really good. In fact, it felt so good that I didn’t realize until after the first interval was over that my left hand had two split knuckles and I was about to leave blood spatter in the Dojo. I quickly taped it up though because I didn’t want to miss my next interval and Sensei Don was not stopping the clock for me.
For some reason that I still can’t fully explain, all that punching did something to me. Like my knuckles, something inside me split open and while it hurt, it felt good to get it out. I cried when I got home and it wasn’t because of the pain in my hands (although seriously, that hurt! I do not recommend splitting your knuckles). Afterwards I felt lighter than I have in a really long time. It was a high that didn’t leave me for days. I even dreamt about installing my own makiwara (a leather punching/kicking post) in my basement so I could do it again.
I learned that those tides of emotions that overwhelm me at times can be controlled without repressing them. And they can be experienced without being consumed by them.
For a good example of control, check out Sensei Don first breaking a board (don’t blink or you’ll miss it, he makes it look that easy) and then demonstrating the practical application of the move on Good Sport Bill, another student.
Conclusions
So how was Karate as a workout? That was the original point of this Experiment, right? It was fairly rigorous. Like many workouts it is as hard as you make it. Sensei Don kept things tough for us by having us do daily conditioning exercises like push-ups (although never again on our knuckles), sit-ups and squats. At his Dojo he came up with some circuit training that involved functional weight exercises specific to Karate movements that we were training. And of course the repeated punches and kicks could definitely bring on a good sweat. We added some free weights and cardio of our own as well as daily standing basics and kata drills. Despite never targeting specific muscles groups with our Karate training, I found that my shoulders and upper arms got some additional muscle definition.
Karate was definitely one of my most favorite Experiments. Generally as the Gym Buddies and I get to the end of the month, it gets harder to motivate ourselves to do the workout. We’re ready to be done and move on to the next thing. This time however, I wished I had more time to continue it. One month was simply not enough to learn everything that I want to know about Karate. Don’t worry though, Sensei Don and I are in talks to continue with the lessons so I’ll get my punching fix somehow!
For kicks and giggles, here is Sensei Don performing his favorite move on Bill. Kill Bill!
So tell me: those of you who have martial arts experience – was it like this for you? Was anyone else surprised by the mental aspects like I was? Have any of the rest of you experienced a mental or spiritual element in conjunction with a particular kind of workout?
PS> Tomorrow I’ll announce January’s Great Fitness Experiment – and it’s one EVERYBODY can follow along with this time. Perfect for New Year’s Resolutions or just a change up, so no excuses this time! I even enlisted an additional Gym Buddy, Krista, to join us. Also, look for upcoming posts on binge eating and compulsive exercise as requested by several readers in the comments!
friggin awesome! Way to go Char!! Hey, your voice sounds good on camera. I sound like a six year old on helium.
Sounds like you got a bit more than expected out of December’s experiment. Glad you enjoyed the karate. Can’t wait to see what’s in store for January.
I know people go on and on about the runner’s high…but I swear, when I get in a good rhythm during a long trail run, there is nothing like it. My mind just kind of shuts down, and I get in this zone. The time goes by so fast…I never get that feeling from any other activity.
I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS ENTIRE POST.
the video of you.
the info.
the fact Ive never tried martial arts and need to and now will (the Tornado? already in classes)
thanks charlotte for perking up my morning!
You never fail to entertain me! And you’re wonderful on video.
I have been wanting to Taekwondo ever since a colleague of mine started a few years ago, but I’m just too fat and unfit. Something to keep in mind as I get fitter and thinner this year…
I’ve done several forms of martial arts, and am starting jiujitsu this week. And yes, I always feel stronger (mentally, even more than physically).
Reasons I’ve had to stop practicing include moving, severe injury (unassociated with the sport itself), work commitments and lack of connection with the sensei.
I also like trying new forms… you may always like karate, but you should try different arts as each brings its own philosophy to the table.
That’s great, Charlotte!! I’ve been looking forward to this post since you mentioned doing it.
The martial arts have been one of the best voyages in my life. Besides the skills and other benefits, the camaraderie with other martial artists has been something I’ve always treasured. I hope you keep your training up, grasshopper 🙂
Wooo! It looks so fun. I love workouts with the mental AND physical, although weirdly I tend to end up skipping those classes most because I use a workout to get OUT of my head and not INTO it. That make sense? Maybe one day I will be grown up enough to venture into martial arts…
Looking forward to reading about the next experiment!
Oooh oooh Charlotte, I’m getting Boy to come to Lindy Hop classes with me for our NY resolution!!
TA x
I am so happy that you harvested value from your time training in traditional Okinawan Karate-do. You and all of your friends are always welcome to train with me anytime and I am looking forward to establishing a habit of training together with you and your gym buddies.
Whenever an instructor or advanced student is lucky enough to have a truly motivated and sincere student to train with he/she tends to be reawakened to the essence of training. I would like for you to know that you have taught me much of value during this experiement. Thank you. You have added a fun and useful sort of energy to my training.
-Don
Except for a judo class when I was about 9 years old (which I loved, but which we couldn’t afford to continue) I haven’t done any martial arts stuff. But after this awesome post, perhaps I’ll have to think about it!
I tried TKD and wasn’t a fan. Although that could be because I was in middle school and weak (seriously), and a bit scared to get hurt.
When BK and I were discussing our Dream House, I said I wanted a cross-fit/boxing type setup in the basement (with either a bike or elliptical and enough room to get my jumprope on).
So I definitely want to continue with fighting-type things, and am thinking about (down the line, as there’s a ton on my plate right now) possibly joining MMA classes (if I can find them).
Those are great videos! You should do more of them:D
Karate sounds amazing. My friend is taking aikido and so I think for February I’ll try taking it with her (too many work/school conflicts to do it in January). And you’ve really made me want to do martial arts that much more.
Am super excited that January’s great fitness experiment is going to be possible for all of us to do!
I’m looking forward to January’s experiment. Glad karate worked so well for you. I am thinking of doing kick boxing in Feb.
Wow, that is SO cool!
I’ve done some martial arts here and there (self-defense, Krav Maga), but nothing really long-term. I’ve been wanting to try Aikido, but admit I’m very intimidated. I may need to look into it, though.
Thanks, Charlotte!
Thank you. I enjoyed reading this.
Did you practice everyday? I cannot imagine learning so much in one month.
The “kata” was beautiful.
Suganthi
Charlotte, thanks for sharing your awesome experiment. Karate is something my girls (6 and 12) have both wanted to try for a while. Sounds like it might be a good experience for the whole family.
Also, I feel the same way about my neck. My throat closed up just reading that he asked if you could touch yours. My husband got me a necklace for Christmas and fumbled with the clasp, putting it on for me…by the time he got it on, I was half way to a panic attack from having the pendant press against my windpipe for so long.
I’m Michelle, by the way. 🙂 See you at Turbo!
Wish I could have seen the videos (I’m at work and just don’t have the quietude to listen to sound right now), but I love how it taught you lessons even when you weren’t try – and in fact were resisting the mental aspects at first. I remember gymnastics was that way for me (and springboard diving, to a lesser extent), at first I just wanted the physical fun of it, but had to conquer and learn a lot of mental stuff to get there.
Can’t wait to see what you’re up to this month!
Sounds like you had fun. Life is about having fun, right? Keep having fun. For me exploring karate is fun and also a personal challenge. Plus you get to learn cool stuff and hit things.
Good luck going forward.
I’ve never done Karate, but I’ve taken Tae Kwon Do, and I love it, for all the reasons you mentioned. But especially the hitting stuff. I know it sounds weird, but there really is something cathartic about punching (or kicking) something repeatedly. I don’t even always know what I’m letting go of, but I always feel better afterward.
Plus, a lot of the cardio training is fun. Last week we did one in class that involved holding one ankle in our hand (like a quad stretch) and hopping around the room on the other leg! I giggled the whole time, until I had to concentrate more on BREATHING, LOL. SERIOUS cardio. Who knew?
OH! And the first time I broke a board was like winning the lottery! I felt like such a strong badass, LOL!
Hi Charlotte!
I have been reading your blog for a long time now, but I think this is my first time commenting (although maybe I did last year…I can’t remember). I just wanted to say that your video was cute and you actually have a great voice/excellent tv personality/presence! (one of the best that I’ve seen of blogger and I’m not just saying that as a compliment b/c I don’t know you…hehe).
I have never tried karate, but I would like to do it sometime in the future. There is a karate studio a few blocks from my apt., so maybe I will stop by and get a schedule soon.
Just out of curiosity, have you ever tried a fitness experiment w/ pilates? I used to go to classes back in the day when I had an Equinox membership, but I never went enough to see a difference. I’m just wondering if it would have led to any major changes since it is the exercise of choice for SO many celebs (at least that is what they say in interviews).
I think my comment cut off, but at the end I wrote, “Happy New Year and I hope to see more videos in the future!).
This post really touched me, I’m not exactly sure why. I really like how you kind of crawled out of your fear and discovered a stronger YOU.
That’s awesome.
Can’t wait for January’s experiment!
=)
I took jujitsu in high school, but I never really got into the mental aspects of it. I did enjoy it though, and I still incorporate it into the kwando class I teach, by having them punch pads.
I loved your descriptions though, and it’s wonderful how much you’ve gotten out of it!
I took karate for years, until a knee injury forced me to quit for a while, and then I moved away from my dojo, and then… well, I have a raft of excuses for not finding a new places, but I think of it nearly every day.
I have never been more flexible or in better overall shape as when I was taking classes 3 days a week, but for me, it was also really a spiritual thing, many of the things you said. Learning precision. Learning discipline. Believing in the connection between my body and my mind. It’s possibly the single best thing that I ever did for my body and as I write this, I really wonder why on earth I don’t put the effort in to start again.
A good dojo is really important, though. There are a lot of bad ones out there. It’s a little like finding a good therapist… not easy, and takes some commitment to searching.
Thank you so much for your moving and thoughtful post.
As someone who has lived in my head for most of my life, I too have had amazing breakthroughs that are “spiritual” (for want of a better term) because of fitness. I’ve not tried the martial arts, but I can absolutely relate to finding that person inside you that is way tougher and more independent than you knew.
I wish there were more blogs about fitness that were as intelligent and well-written as yours.
I’m just trying to see any family resemblance to Charlene in the video, so forgive me for being distracted.
After 10 years of martial arts, I like http://www.bullshido.com for finding a hard-core dojo in your area that isn’t full of…well, bullshido. The rest of the site is a bunch of geeks acting “bad” ’cause they’re martial artists, but for tracking down a gym to study “real” martial arts it’s a great resource.
Mental aspects, I’m definitely more self confident and aware of how to stay safe. And there’s no better way to work out than something you enjoy, something that has a point other than just exercise. As with anything else, you get out what you put into it, but weight control is mostly about how you eat!
I saved this to read a few days ago because I was at work and couldn’t watch the videos…just got around to it tonight, and was glad I did. Very cool that you learned so many things during your month of karate. It looks like it was a great experience. 🙂
(Oh, and I loved the comment in your video about the push-pull game being a great option for date night!)
Uma from Carrollton,
Charlotte, I’m glad you were humbled by your karate experience and learned how important the mind, body, and spirit are in our training. I find that if I feed my mind, it feeds my spirit, which then feeds the physical side of my training. Sounds ooey gooey I know, but, when I feel it from inside it comes out good and strong when I deliver a technique or do kata.
Sensei Don was my Sensei in Carrollton until he moved (sniffle, sniffle). He is profound martial artist through his own efforts and relentless training and has been a positive influence on me with his teachings and discoveries.
Keep it up girl. Enjoy the journey, take the time, watch yourself grow. Whether you choose to keep practicing karate or with whatever you do, you and others around you will be greatly influenced by your positive energy, humility in understanding, and desire to learn.
Karate Rules!
Hey Uma!
Thanks for your comment! Sensei Don is a great teacher and I feel priveleged to have worked with him this past month. And yes, I’ve already made arrangements to continue my lessons!
1) You are simply so prolific. I wish I had half your motivation to write. Or even a quarter.
2) You have convinced me to research and then take a martial arts class. It’s time. Well, it’ll be time when my shoulder is no longer broken, actually, which won’t be for a little while still.
I need to do this for myself. It sounds like the medicine my mind and body need.
Women should really be encourage in taking martial arts lessons.
It's a whole package.
Fitness, confidence and self defense.