Reader Sarah asked an interesting question in the comments the other day. Actually, she asked me three questions but it was the last one that made me realize she is truly my soul sister of fitness fanaticism. Sarah writes:
1)What are your favorite foods/things you eat everyday?
2)Do you count calories?
3)Do you suppose I could wear a backpack during plank positions to up the resistance?
Let’s get numbers one and two out of the way fairly quickly. One: I eat a ton of produce. A ton. Eggs, beans, nuts, Greek yogurt, fish, oatmeal and dark chocolate round out my top ten list. (Or top seven. Whatevs, I’m lazy.) But I’m a recovering orthorexic so I’m trying to get more flexible about what I’ll eat. Last night for dinner I had peanut butter cup ice cream. No lie. Two: No I don’t and here’s why.
Now on to question number three which made my whole day. I have done what you are suggesting. Sort of. One day one of the personal trainers left a weighted vest sitting out on the gym floor so in a fit of kleptomania, I tried it on. Much to the Gym Buddies amusement I decided to try out every exercise I could think of as quickly as possible to see what difference the weighted vest made. I ran on the treadmill (okay), did squats (good), jumping jacks (bad) and mountain climbers (very bad). I also did a plank. Let me tell you, Sarah, weighted torso + plank = back pain. (Mothers please note, the same principle applies if it is your own cutie-pie offspring jumping on your back.)
But don’t despair, my sweet reader! There are many many ways to make plank harder. You can put your feet on a power wheel (also known as an ab wheel or a unicycle for midgets) or Swiss ball and hold plank. Add in pike ups if you’re still not feeling it. Put your hands on a 6-lb medicine ball and hold plank. Hold a tricep hover plank (also known as chaturanga in yoga). Put a 25-lb weight plate under your feet and then walk forward on your hands dragging your feet – and the weight – behind you like the Sea Witch on The Little Mermaid. You can do walking Bosu plank where you walk your hands up and over a Bosu ball while holding plank. Do plank and lift one leg in the air, then the other leg, then your arms in an around-the-world fashion. Really good? Lift opposite arm and leg at the same time. Do side plank and lift your top leg in the air. Do plank on the decline bench (just make sure your hands aren’t sweaty or you’ll eat it face-first). Hold plank on your hands and then go down to your elbows and then back up to your hands, repeating for one minute. Not to get all Dr. Seuss on you but oh the places your plank can go! Just don’t put a weight on your back.
Other Stupid Things I Have in the Name of Fitness
All of this got me to thinking about the other dumb things I have done in my attempts to up my workout ante.
1. Grab more weight than I can safely control. Some people may do this one out of a misguided desire to impress onlookers. Me? I do it because I routinely overestimate my own strength. In my mind, I am She-Ra Princess of Power, arm bands and everything. The net result of this insane lack of body awareness has been me dropping weights on myself in every conceivable manner. I’ve bounced a 30-lb dumbbell off my shoulder, pinned myself to the weight bench with a too-heavy weight bar and no spotter, scraped 95 lbs of iron from my clavicle to my knees in an aborted attempt at a clean and press and for the grand finale dropped one-and-a-half times my body weight while trying to deadlift it… and then forgot to let go when the bar hit the floor thereby pulling myself over the top of the bar and ending up nose to the mat in what must have appeared to be the worst circus act of all time. The best part was when I stood up, I was so embarrassed and in so much pain that I tripped over the bar again bruising my shins and ego for weeks to come. Want some cheap entertainment? Load up a bar and ask me, “Hey Charlotte, think you can lift that?” You won’t be disappointed.
2. Attempt moves I have no business doing. Whether due to lack of training in that area or underestimating my current state of fatigue, I have caused myself many a mishap by trying to do things I ought not to do. Case in point: The back walkover was my first serious trick in gymnastics so when I finally got it, my coach told me if I would do one every day then I would never lose the skill. I took him at his word, doing one nearly every day since – even at nine months pregnant! Now that I’ve done thousands of them I’ve gotten careless. So after Turbokick one day, I attempted to do one – in the front of the room no less – and got dizzy from laying down too fast. I did a weird pirouette on my hands before crashing sideways in a heap and scaring the person next to me half to death. I have also attempted to do a cherry drop from the chin-up bar and landed on my hands and knees instead. I have walked into an elevator while doing handstands. I have flipped myself off of the back of a treadmill while doing hill sprints. And my favorite one – attempted to show a friend that I could still do all my splits and then got stuck in them, requiring her to hoist me by my armpits. Oh and about half of Hip Hop Hustle probably falls in this category!
3. Never backing down from a dare. Call it hubris, call it my fatal flaw, call it my eagerness to try new things but I have such a hard time backing away from a challenge. I went spelunking with no real equipment, save a repelling harness and rope, despite the fact that neither myself nor my partner knew anything about spelunking and also my greatest fear is getting trapped in a cave (underwater, if you want to be really specific.) I attempted to do a flip on a 100-foot free repel and instead caught my hair in my figure eight necessitating the hacking off of my waist-length braid with a pocket knife that my friends lowered to me in a hiking boot. I agreed to do a lift with a swing dance partner that I’d never tried before and ended up not only taking the both of us down in a painful ignominious heap but also managed to flash my bright red undies at everyone in the packed joint. And if you think those are bad, you don’t even want to hear the non-fitness related dares I’ve taken.
Now I dare you! Tell me the stupidest, craziest, most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done in the name of fitness! Did you get headlocked by a weight machine? Hamstrung by a jump rope? Use the thigh master for more nefarious purposes? Do, share! (and enjoy the videos!)
Hehe, failed cleans are funny….thankfully the throat does not bruise easily.
About 5 years ago, I was running a PRT test and doing pretty decent…until I peed my pants. No joke. I slowed, I started walking, I decided that since we were right by the barracks I would go change then walk back to the gym and beg for a reprieve…..only too late did I realize my room key was at the gym – about 3/4 mile away. I did get the reprieve and ran a rather crappy, very dehyrated time the next day.
Or the first time I did 400 meters of walking lunges which left me incapable of functional leg movement for a few days, resulting in my tripping on the track one morning when the inner field was FULL of people doing command PT.
First of all, I never count calories.
I have done some dumb things with fitness, however. I think I can summarize it with this equation:
Take one part bad idea, and add two parts persistence.
I once finished a 5 mile run with knee pain so bad that I hopped the last 100 yards on the good leg. Short term intense therapy rescued me before it got any further out of hand 🙂
Since with karate we tend to punch things. I once punched a tarp that I thought was hanging over hanging mats on the wall, only to “discover” there was only concrete underneath. That hurt, it took a week before I could close my hand due to all the swelling.
Once, when I was maybe 10 or so, my dad thought it would be really cool if I could walk up the stairs on my hands. I was a gymnast, and I spent much of my time walking around on my hands, but neither of us thought it through enough to realize that going up the stairs requires being able to do a one-handed handstand push-up. However, because my dad told me to try it, I did. And I face-planted the stairs, which resulted in two black-eyes and a potentially broken nose. My mom was not pleased!
“Eggs, beans, nuts, Greek yogurt, fish, oatmeal and dark chocolate round out my top ten list.” Great list I love those foods. Not really sure what greek yogurt is but I like regular yogurt. I have grown to really like Wild Salmon.
Charlotte you are crazy. This post was hysterical. Probably the craziest and stupidest thing I’ve ever done was sign up for a 50K trail race (31 miles) and complete it. Freezing rain the entire day, got lost and took a wrong turn, came in one hour behind my goal finishing time. Bad bad day spent in the woods, but at least I can say I finished.
Wet Myself from Doing Too Many Jumping Jacks.
Charlotte, you totally crack me up. As usual.
Mine was one of those Classic dumb moves–I tried to remove a pullover sweatshirt while on the treadmill at the gym. Without, of course, stopping the machine first or moving off the belt.
Sweatshirt got caught; I forgot to keep moving; so of course I went flying straight off the back of the treadmill.
There’s really no graceful way to recover from that.
I just recently learned about the plank so I really want to thank you for the “fun” ideas.
as a former cheerleader/gymnast,i think i have finally lost the back walkover skill. i’ve become way too stiff and i’m scared to break something! i wish i had thought of doing one every day!
I’m the Sarah that prompted your post! Thanks so much. I suspected even while typing my query that your response would be a “no” for the sake of being able to bend over and tie my shoes in ten years time, but as I’m traveling for work and do not currently have access to gym toys, I thought I’d …well, essentially “ask permission” from my favorite fitness blogger, haha. I do some of the variations you mentioned at the gym, but for now my gym is a 10 x 10 square of (scratchy, smelly) carpet. Stupid things I’ve done in the name of fitness include lugging a 50 pound suitcase up and down 4 flights of narrow, rickety Victorian house bed and breakfast stairs (15 sets of all four floors, of course, with 100 calve raises in between) and doing bicycle crunches (WITH TWO SHIRTS ON AND ON TWO MATS) until my tailbone was bleeding from the chaffing.
Wonderful subject. I once did an unsuccessful unsupported hand stand near some weight benches and had some help arrive to prevent me from crashing into a lifter. While teetering and about to fall, kicked the kind soul in the face, opening a huge gash requiring stitches.
hmmm…..I can’t think of anything off the top of my head, but I know I’ve probably tripped or something.
This was totally unintentional, but once I went running at 3am. I had somehow changed the time on my alarm clock when I set it for the next morning, and when it went of at “5:45am”, it was actually 2:45am. I went to the bathroom, put on my clothes, and was out the door without realizing what had happened.
I thought it was kind of odd that it was so dark outside, but it was cloudy that morning. I thought it was kind of weird that there were people coming home for the night, but it was Thursday, and that was a big party night (I was in college when this happened). And I was getting some seriously weird looks from these people. Especially when it started to rain.
Finally I got back near my apartment, I looked at my watch (yes, I was wearing a watch set to the correct time the whole time I was doing this, I just never noticed) to see if I had time to do an extra loop.
That was when I realized what had happened. I laughed so hard I had to walk for a few minutes. No wonder people were giving me strange looks… I was out running in the rain at 3am. I was feeling great so I did the extra loop (I had plenty of time before work), and went home, took a shower, and slept for a few more hours.
Thanks for the link about food tracking. I linked to it in my post today. Hope you don’t mind.
As for stupid fitness stuff…I don’t have any fantastic stories, just the usual, where you work so hard you almost pass out. Or almost fall down the stairs at work the next day because your quads are so sore your legs don’t quite work correctly. 🙂
Another way to do planks – from elbow plank, reach one hand out and tap as far away as possible, then switch, without letting the rest of your body move much.
I, fortunately, have not had many embarrassing issues at the gym. I did get elbowed in the mouth once when I took ju-jitsu classes, and it happened to be two days after I’d gotten my braces off (which I’d had for four years), but apart from the shock, it was fine.
I’m so paranoid about falling off the treadmill! It hasn’t happened, but I could so easily see myself doing that. Taking Crabby’s story to heart, and no taking off sweatshirts while running. Though I did take a sip of water while I was walking on the treadmill yesterday and nearly fell off because I was coughing so much.
This post made me smile so hard because I’m so the same way. I can’t even BEGIN to list the stupid things I did in gymnastics that were way above my level or springboard diving mishaps (water CAN slap you so hard you lose your breath and get wicked bruises), there are way too many. Now I’m pretty tame, just because no one dares me to do anything silly anymore. Boring, but I get enough bruises on my own…
Oddly enough, the backwalkover is the one thing I’m working on right now besides handstands. I can do the bridge and kick over, I’m just a little frightened of falling on my head on the way down from standing.
Counting calories is the only thing that has ever worked long term for me to lose weight. However, I am looking forward to the day I am done, and never writing down what I eat ever again!
I do planks with weight on my back on a regular base. I had no problem with my back so far (used up to 20kf/44lbs).
I do planks and push-ups with a 45-lb plate on my back with no problem, but I worked up to it with 10-lb, 25-lb, and 35-lb plates. And you do need a partner, first of all to put it on your back, and second to stand there and make sure it doesn’t slide off your back.
I’ve had some failed lifts, but I wouldn’t say I’ve been horribly embarrassed by them; it’s bound to happen when you keep pushing your limits. If something like this has never happened to you, then I say you’re not working hard enough!
It just occurred to me that when I took gymnastics (I was probably 7 years old), I was hanging upside down on the uneven bars and having trouble getting down. So I just let go and landed on my head. Luckily came out of it fine, but I think I scared the teacher!
Hehehe I love it. And LOVE the plank modifications, I have so much fun playing around with that exercise.
I’ve done some pretty silly things. It’s kind of embarrassing to be doing squats at work at the front counter when a client walks in: “Oh, hi, I was just… um… I dropped something on the floor… so, what can I do for you?”
Hey Charlotte – loved today’s post! Your back walkover comment today made me remember an on-going question/thought in my mind! I was a gymnast when I was younger, but have had some back injuries and fun knee stuff and definatly don’t do much from my gymnastics days. Mostly just regular “gym-stuff”. But I LOVE GYMNASTICS! Any ideas for fun stuff to do at my regular health club to get that feeling again? Any thought of doing an experiment with it? Let’s bring gymnastics back!
You can also do plank with a your hands on a foam roller. (I had my clients do this in class the other night. They laughed, until they realized I was serious. Mwa-ha-ha!!!)
I do a lot of generally klutzy things at the gym (tripping over reformers happens with alarming regularity), but most of the dares I’ve taken have been on stage. Like when someone dared me to pretend to run into a pole during one performance, or to say “BUT love” instead of “but LOVE” during another.
LOVE reading all the incidents here!
Love the 101 ways to plank–I’ll be needing that for my home workouts. Today I sucked my stomach in for the first time in, what, 9 months. It hurt! I think i’ll be sore tomorrow! As for stupidest workout? Could have been the 60 mile ride that was aborted due to a Texas twister…
Charlotte, you crack me up.
I have to admit that I am WAY too chicken to attempt half the things people suggest to me. Usually I respond with a raised eyebrow and an understated, “Have you lost your MIND?!” 😉
When I danced we used to have informal turning contests, though. I was so intent on winning one that when I started to lose my balance, I didn’t put my foot down, just tried to correct. Um. I didn’t correct enough, but I did take a face-plant on the floor.
And there was another time when I was doing leaps that I didn’t get high enough off the ground for the jump I was doing. I couldn’t get my front foot back under me in time, so I landed, full-body-weight, in the splits. That hurt. A LOT.
But that’s the extent of my stupidity, I think. (And in fairness, those both happened when I was in my teens, when I was invincible, LOL.)
uh oh- as soon as i heard vest and plank i cringed. to make planks harder, think less things touching the floor- so lift hand and feet and use undtable surfaces- never weight
Kelly Turner
http://www.everygymsnightmare.com
… i’m sure i’ve probably done something ridiculous in fitness, but nothing comes to mind.
oh, except coming out for warm-ups for a hockey game in college not realizing i had stepped on some tape coming out of the locker room. i wondered why i kept falling when i tried to skate until our athletic trainer pointed it out. oops.
some of my friends who came to watch gave me crap about that for a while …
I love you! You’re too funny. I’m so proud of you having dessert for dinner. 🙂
I think I have done alot of embarrasing things, (there are so many potential embarrassments with swimming)
At the state championships I walked up to the block and couldn’t get my warm up pants off so I asked the young man who was timing to help me- and he refused so I tugged and tugged an ended up ripping them just in time to jump on the blocks and dive in.
I was teaching/ showing off to a group of boy scouts and was demonstrating an inward dive when my toes slipped off and I hit the diving board with my shins, then my thighs, then my arms and then my chin. I looked down and could see my actual shin bone and ended up squeezing the muscle closed and calling class early and then I drove my stick shift truck to the hospital to get 40+ stitches…
does joining my high school Color Guard flag team count?
Wow… some of those vids were NASTY!!
Yeah, I’m with you on #3. It gets me in trouble.
And FYI: a few of us are meeting at the Metrodome tomorrow (Tues the 24th) at 5 pm to go running!!!….
Oh, the stupidity in the name of fitness!
1) Running at night in Venice Beach
2) Attempting a bellydance backbend and eating it–whacked my skull, spine, and behind in one fell swoop
3) During tissu/aerial silks, attempted a trick that not only got me completely tangled, but also required my instructor to push me out of it, using the only part of my anatomy that was reachable:
my ass.
Yeah…I expect more stupidity to ensue when I join my local gym next month…
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