“What is it?” Gym Buddy Allison kicked the nubbly, hot pink, semi-inflated disk.
“Breast implant!” Gym Buddy Lisseth held it up to her chest. “It’s lumpy so it feel more realistic.”
“You stand on it,” I instructed, grabbing it from her (blind-leading-the-blind concerns duly noted.)
“One under each foot? That seems a bit unstable,” Gym Buddy Megan rubbed her pregnant tummy and contemplated belly flopping.
“It’s supposed to be unstable,” I answered, setting up two a good lunge-width apart.
Lisseth jumped on. “The back one’s deflated!”
“It’s supposed to be,” I answered.
“Well they’re not equally deflated,” she retorted.
“That’s what she said!” Megan quipped. A nearby personal trainer rolled his eyes so hard I swear I heard them clink.
“Are pregnant women allowed to make sex jokes?” I retorted.
“But what is it??” Allison repeated.
We’ve all been there. It’s the fitness equivalent of going to an high-end grocery store and pondering if “groats” are as disgusting as they sound and why anyone would want to combine them with anything called a “rabe.” There are a lot of fit toys out there to play with and with new ones arriving on the scene every day, it can be tempting to stick with what you know and love. “Why hello there Mr. Treadmill! Today I will cover you with my sweat and then give you a nice antiseptic rubdown. In payment for your services, you may look up my shorts. Thank you.” Why mess with a good thing?
Because – and you know this fitness rule just like Lindsay Lohan knows that nobody believes she’s not attending her alcohol counseling classes because of a “personality clash” – change is essential for getting a good workout in. You have to surprise your body to really challenge it. (Note to Michael Jackson: Not you. Your body has had all the surprises it can handle. It would like to retire someplace warm soon. Without you. I hope you understand.)
And so it was that the Gym Buddies and I found ourselves doing the Weird Fitness Equipment Workout. Our original workout was supposed to be a cardio day but due to a strange confluence of events we ended up without a class, a room or cardio equipment (why oh why does no one think to save 5 ellipticals in a row?!?) So, I headed over to the Bucket o’ Weird stuff that our gym keeps in the corner and dumped it all out. Spreading it in a circle, I told the Gym Buddies it was our new circuit. Work for one minute, rest and move to the next station for 30 seconds. Alternate strength and cardio moves. Repeat for 40 minutes.
Some pieces of equipment were easy to work in, like the jump rope, step and exercise bands. (Quick, name 100 exercises to do with a piece of stretchy rubber!) Others… not so much. For instance, this:
A 20-lb medicine ball. “Catch!” I yelled and chest-passed it to Lisseth. “Whaaa?” she gasped as it hit her in the chin. Have I mentioned I was always the last one picked for team sports? Allison and I got a little overly enthused with our game of heavy catch, frightening an elderly woman with bad peripheral vision who was walking around the track. It didn’t help that when she turned to chastise us, Allison was flipping her off. Inadvertantly, of course – Allison got a nasty cut on her middle finger and until it heals up, she can’t bend it. (10 points for being dedicated enough to still come to the gym injured!) Good times.
Then there was this:
For those of you familiar with The Monkey Bar Gym, this my friends, is a power wheel. I know it looks like a unicycle but if you try to use it like one you will quickly discover that the pedals don’t rotate around the wheel, causing you to eat it big time. Trust me on that one. No, what you actually do is even better than any unicycle! You strap your feet in with the velcro and put the rubber bands around your heels. And then you roll around the gym floor as if you were suddenly turned into a hybrid mermaid-mountain bike trying to get your feet under you so you can use it for it’s designed purpose, to do abs or hamstring exercises.
Next up:
Gliding disks! Sure the name sounds all graceful but they basically turn you into Bambi on the frozen pond. Gym Buddy hint: Try just putting one under your foot and leaving the other foot anchored on the floor. Thankfully I remember a bunch of exercises to do with them courtesy of The Action Hero Workout Experiment! (If you don’t have actual “gliding disks”, as we didn’t then, you can always use paper plates or even thick pages ripped out of a magazine. Honestly, can you think of a better use for Cosmo?)
We ended on the breast implants/partially deflated thingies from the beginning. We lunged. We squatted. We made inappropriate comments. And my legs were sore the next day!
After we got over all the “what is it and what do I do with it?” problems, our Weird Gym Equipment Workout turned out to be one of the most unique workouts we’ve done in a long time. Not to mention the entertainment/embarrassment factor was high.
You too can play along! You don’t need to have the exact equipment I listed – the point is to grab a bunch of random stuff you never usually use (balance board? wave? velcro arm weights? rowing machine? small child?) and set it up in a circuit. As long as you’re working something, there’s no wrong way to use it! The novelty will keep your body working and your mind off the time.
Anyone else have a fave piece of “weird” equipment? Anything you’re too scared to try? Anything you’ve majorly embarrassed yourself using?
While in California, the local community center had an outdoor workout area kind of like in your photo. The stuff was all kinda strange, yet functional so for a short change up it was fun. I know they are trying to make exercise fun, but it will never be like a game of dodge ball or some such silliness, that except for the occasional broken arm was really where the fun was at 🙂
Charlotte, I laughed so hard at this that my face hurt. You are my hero.
(And I think those gliding disks look SUPER fun. Even though roller skating/blading/whatever was never my talent.)
Haha some fitness equipment just seems so pointless… but still lots of fun! Always lots of fun. Sometimes I’ll wander around the weight room in the gym, poking at the machinery and wondering just what the heck it’s supposed to do. It’s more fun imagining than reading the instructions.
The silliest thing I’ve done was to jump off of a bench to catch hold of a chin-up bar because it was too high up for me to reach. Luckily I managed to hold on and not just go flying across the room- although once I was holding on, my upper body wasn’t strong enough for me to do anything, so I just dangled there until I let go. Good times.
Quit interesting looking!!
I’m too scared to touch all that funky stuff, but I admit it always intrigues me.
Can I count laughing at this post as a workout?
Love the descriptions. Wish I was as adventurous, but when I see some contraption I don’t know how to use, I imagine that everyone in the gym will burst into hysterical laughter when they seem me using it wrong.
Neurotic? Paranoid? Who me?
i have a super strong little rubber band that my PT gave e to strengthen my hands and forearms. I put it around my pinched fingers and stretch them out in a C shape. This causes my face to contort into all sorts of bizarre shapes, including squinty eyes and a mouth that looks like a blowfish. Sexy.
Ive always wanted to try the gliding discs but thus far have saved my cash and use dish towels 🙂
Most of my weird equipment consists of live animals…. lifting, carrying, pushing, chasing, fending off… you get the picture, right?
One never knows how fast one can run until she is chased by a 1700 lb cow who has just given birth and wants to protect her newborn calf!
You can get gliding disks another way: go to home depot and pick up a package of furniture movers (those little disk things). They’re about $5.
Thank you for the morning laugh!!!!!
(And the only better use I could think of for “Cosmo” is lining birdcages.)
My son has a pair of carpet skates, which are kind of similar to the gliding discs. I often borrow them for my workouts. And I use paper plates in my mat pilates class.
But it’s nowhere near as fun as what you guys do!!!!
Do you know the weird ways I use common items at the gym? If I could find weird shit, I’d probably be in heaven…
I take over benches in the freeweight section, then do step up drills, drops, tricep moves on the O bars… everything except standard bench pressing.
Bring my own flexi-disc and do an entire workout alternating one foot or another or hand on it.
Good times! Good laughs.
We lunged. We squatted. We made inappropriate comments.
Oooh, do I still get points if I do just one of the three? 🙂
Ha! This is what I do in my living room and backyard and neighborhood just about every day. No gym + kids = DIY fitness y’all. Woot!
Adapt and overcome! Yet another important part of fitness. Good job, gym buddies!
In answer to your question/comment.
1) I suspect I am not getting enough calories either. I may increase the amount of nuts I am consuming.
2) I am only trying this for Monday – Friday this week as I have my suspicions about boredom with the food available and the chance of bringing up other issues I have.
3) I checked out a view books and blogs and sites and am making up my menu’s as I go along as I do not have the funds to purchase a food processer or dehydrator.
Oh, now I am embarrassed. I never thought the treadmill was going to be looking up my shorts! I feel so cheap and used. LOL!
*Chortle* I must go to a very tame gym as I havn’t come across too many wierd pieces of equipment. My most embarrassing moments come when I try to work out how to adjust things – I can never work out do I pull, push, twist or what because nothing seems to work…
Hahahaha I just had to comment because when I was visiting China I totally ran into a ton of those weird machines. Randomly placed throughout the city.
well indeed they are some wiered weight training equipment for health or fitness but then what matter is result 🙂