“It’s been so long since I’ve had carbs I can’t remember what you are supposed to do with them? Am I doing this right??”Most of us master our societal two-fold prime directive quite early in life. Before our cells even have the chance to completely turn over once – an event that happens about every seven years for those of you who are curious – we already know there are two things that we as women must never do. What are those two things? Well, I’ll give you a hint: they have nothing to do with murder or adultery.
1. Don’t get fat.
2. Don’t get old.
Never mind they are both biological processes. Perhaps in a nod toward the inevitability of entropy, society has subtly amended the rules to specify that, fine, if you must get fat or old, for heaven’s sake don’t look it. And thus the pharmaceutical cosmetic industry was born.
However – and this is something that slowly dawns on us as we rack up those inevitable years – eventually the two become mutually exclusive. For the under-40 set, one can generally be quite thin without looking overly aged. But once a woman reaches a certain age, the lack of fat in her face from an overall-thin frame, can make her look older than she is. This concept of “which cheeks would you choose?” is not a new one. Catherine Deneuve famously picked the northern set. But now researchers, having seen a gap in the scientific literature on the subject (and perhaps just looking for a reason to stare at pretty women), have stepped in to quantify exactly how much older you look as you lose weight.
Researchers at Case Western Reserve School of Medicine studied the body mass index of 200 pairs of female identical twins for two years, reports The Telegraph. Doctors chose twins so that they could control for genetic factors and focus only on environmental factors. The study found that twins with a BMI 4 points higher than their twin looked younger by two to four years. Doctors say this is because people who have lost weight have less volume in the face. “This loss of volume creates jowls and makes wrinkles develop,” he says. “The older we get, the more the face gets depleted. When you lose weight, this look is enhanced and aging is accelerated,” says Dr. Bahman Guyuron, lead study author, according to The New York Daily News.
Everyone saw this play out a couple of years ago when Sarah Jessica Parker, beloved by many women for her sartorial sense and keen acting chops, was voted as the ugliest woman alive by (the dumbest magazine in print) Maxim. It wasn’t explicitly stated – in fact they used a phrase involving an equine feature that I will not repeat here – but I think a lot of her lack of appeal to a certain subset of men was that while she has the ideal body for high fashion, her face is drawn and gaunt. Terri Hatcher and Nicolette Sheridan are also good examples of this phenomenon. (Please save the irate comments – I’m not saying any of the above women are ugly. I’m saying their overt thinness ages them. I personally do not find aging ugly. Unless you’re Michael Jackson or Jocelyn Wildestein. But then you probably have more important issues to worry about that if your cheeks look gaunt.)
So it becomes a balancing act between keeping enough padding for a youthful glow and yet staying healthy and trim. The study’s authors admonish, “Even though being really thin is perhaps in vogue, we are not advocating that you lose too much weight because even though your body may look thin, your face will look older.” They add that “yo-yo dieting also ages the skin by creating volume loss and repeatedly stretching facial ligaments.” This adds to previous research that has shown older adults with a BMI in the “overweight” (but not “obese”) BMI category live longer and suffer fewer debilitating illnesses than their normal-weight counterparts.
The study also introduces another lifestyle conundrum: antidepressant use will also make you look older than you are. The study speculates that antidepressants cause the relaxation of facial muscles. So if you are depressed and worried about looking older, now you have to decide which will age you more: the stress from hating your life or the muscle laxness from the happy pills. The third lifestyle factor that most ages you is divorce.
Heaven help you if you are a depressed, dieting, divorcee. You’d better have your Botox injections scheduled out a year in advance.
Or – and here’s a thought – we could skip the plastic surgery and instead all work on becoming more tolerant of natural processes like, say, getting older.
“But all the magazines told me high heels would make me look thinner! They forgot to mention prostrate in public.”
Too funny! I got Allure magazine (the Cindy Crawford picture was in there) in the mail, did a quick flip through it to see what was inside and stopped on this page thinking…huh? And my daughter (6 years old) said….”Mom WHAT is she doing to that good bread?”
We have two types of bread in our house 1. “bread” aka: sandwich bread, and 2. “good bread” aka: artisan sourdough, rosemary olive oil, focaccia, etc. “Good bread” is not something to be wasted, so dear Cindy was committing a grand felony in my daughters eyes!
Maybe I shouldn’t stress about loosing those last 7 pounds! They may keep me young.
I remember hearing coutney cox say one…about 15 years ago so I was a lot more impressionable…A WOMAN GETS TO AN AGE WHERE SHE CHOOSES BETWEEN HER ASS (being small) AND HER FACE (looking old and haggard).
I was 25 or so and I remember thinking:
well that SUCKS.
I think I’ll continue to focus on being HEALTHY, and let the fat go where it will.
If you add:
3) Don’t get poor.
4) Don’t get sick.
You have the whole package 🙂
That exhausted me. It just seems like we can’t win. I think I’m just going to exercise to a point that feels good, eat the amount that feels right, and keep telling myself everything’s okay. Oh, and cancel my subscription to Maxim.
I never “got” the SJP thing (once they showed the episode where Carrie almost went homeless due to poor financial planning, and did nothing to rectify the situation, save yell at Charlotte, I was not a Carrie fan), but I think she’s definitely adorable.
Part of me thinks that the famous aging set is making things worse by doing all kinds of procedures to try to keep both sets of cheeks.
So we basically can be:
fat and thus, unattractive
or
thin and thus, unattractive
Hmmm . . . why don’t we all just get really skinny and then just go get cheek implants and fat injections! Brilliant! 🙂
And personally, I think SJP is far from ugly. She may not be the traditional cover girl, but I think she is still quite attractive.
Oh such a conundrum!
I agree that we have to accept these things as a part of the change in life. I’ve still got plenty of baby fat in my face- although I’ve lost a considerable amount of weight in the past couple years, my face hasn’t changed a bit. My mum has really nice cheekbones, though; my sister and I covet them 😀
PS Trish you’ve got me laughing at your conclusion!
Aha! I’m the worst of both – I look both old and fat! And doomed to stay this way, I’m afraid. Years of yo-yo dieting and smoking have taken their toll on my face and body, so I’ll just stick to drinking and having a good time (until my liver fails, that is!) Hahahahaha
I guess we could just tell all the scientists and doctors to stop looking for all those pesky cures for disease. Then we’d all be dead by age 50 (if we were lucky), just like in the olden days, and no one would have their delicate sensibilities offended by having to look at old, fat people!
Good think I don’t have to worry because I don’t think it’s possible for me to be uber skinny! 🙂 I think I’ll choose to be healthy rather than worry about aging – but we’ll see what happens when I start seeing wrinkles, heh.
YAY for being old and…ugly. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
I think SJP is adorable – I love unique faces! I agree with you, Maxim sucks.
that cindy pic is probably the most disgusting thing ive ever seen. its just so WRONG. and that bit about the antidepressants and wrinkles? holy crap, who knew?
I currently get lots of comments about how young I look. Perhaps it’s because I teeter at the top of my BMI healthy zone. But now you have me scared that when I hit 40, I’ll suddenly sag all over!
Seeing my mom (who has always been in the slightly underweight BMI category and enviably slender) age, I’m realizing that no one fully escapes the effects time and gravity. I think this has been a painful thing for her to deal with. I’ve noticed, for example, that she’s avoiding the camera more and more; I can sometimes coax her to pose with the grandkids, but she’ll wear sunglasses or not looking at the camera.
So…I’m doing the best I can to embrace dragonmama’s attitude: focus on being healthy, try not to obsess about the loose skin or floppy bits too much.
I always wondered about the face v. body thing. Just how “fat” are they talking about? Do they mean above a “normal” BMI, or just 10 pounds above of what’s considered ideal by Hollywood standards, which would actually still be thin by anyone with normal perception.
Ain't it grand! More things to make women feel like crap & stress them out even more… Yes, I am one of those loss of fat in the face people but I prefer to be healthy & fit. I really never had defined cheeks even when I was younger & heavier.
I would like to read the research report but I wonder if the results indicate that if maintaining a lower body weight is associated with looking older or if this effect is related to losing weight. This exerpt from your post makes me think it is the latter:
“Doctors say this is because people who have lost weight have less volume in the face. “This loss of volume creates jowls and makes wrinkles develop,” he says. “The older we get, the more the face gets depleted. When you lose weight, this look is enhanced and aging is accelerated,” says Dr. Bahman Guyuron, lead study author, according to The New York Daily News.”
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