My first boyfriend had a pet name for me: Sweet Pea. As in the baby from the Popeye cartoons. Yeah, it’s a little weird to nickname your girlfriend after an infant with no legs but honestly that was the least weird thing about our relationship. Two things you should know about my first boyfriend: a) He was functionally illiterate (I know, Mom!) and b) he was obsessed with body modifications (I KNOW, Mom! Seriously, you can unground me now.) In addition to several very prominent tattoos including a flesh-mutilating one that literally made me nauseous every time I looked at it, he also had a bull ring, a tongue stud, a lip stud, nipple bars, a home-done body brand (that still makes me shudder when I remember how he got it), those big hole thingies through his ears and several other things I’m probably forgetting. But by far his best bit of body art – and the reason I’m taking you on this little foray into my past – was a tat he got in the military. To remind him of me. According to eye witnesses, it read “Sweet Pee.” Despite laughing over it for months, I never got a chance to see it myself as I dumped him when he returned on leave – not over the tattoo, or even the illiteracy, but over something else entirely legitimate that perhaps I’ll share with you some other time.
Anyhow, I was reminded of this when today it was reported that one of David Beckham’s many tattoos – a Sanskrit tranlation of his wife Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham’s name – is actually mistranslated. Apparently part of it is mispelled – no word if it was the “Victoria” part or the “Posh” part. Although since Sanskrit is officially a dead language, this is not the most tragic example of body art gone bad.
Right after misspellings and romance-gone-awry fixits, mistranslating words from other languages seems to be a prime source of tattoo hilarity. One teen in Britain got her boyfriend’s nickname “Roo” tatooed on her abdomen in Chinese only to discover later the characters actually mean “supermarket.” Another woman asked for the Kanji character for “free” on her back. Apparently the tattoo artist found the symbol for “free of charge” rather than “freedom” which was what she intended. All these women need is to add a post-it note with “open 24 hours for your convenience” and I bet they get all the free dim sum in Chinatown they want.
Celebrities are also infamous for body art snafus. One website chronicles all the inking/lasering/retattooing drama of the Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora/Denise Richards/Charlie Sheen soap opera. Honestly, it’s so twisted I can’t even explain it but if you want the whole story, it’s here – in pictures! And who can forget when Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder went splitsville leading Johnny to alter his “Winona Forever” tat to the darkly hilarious “Wino Forever”?
As for me, my tattoo sins run in the other direction. While I have no body art other than two ear piercings, I was, for a very short time, an illustration major in college. A neighbor asked me to draw him a picture of our University mascot – a minotaur – holding a throwing “hammer” because that’s the event he competed in on our track team. Our particular version of the fierce minotaur was a very cartoonish permutation that looked like a random shirtless man wearing a Bessie the Cow mask with horns strapped on. Which I replicated with great accuracy. Much to my chagrin, he loved the finished design and decided to get it inked on his bicep permanently. He even let me do the first stroke of the tat, seeing as I was the artist and all. To this day I cringe for not talking him out of it.
So now I want to know if any of you bend it like Beckham, at least when it comes to permanent ink? What is it and why did you get it? Do you still like it? Any of you ever get an ill-advised tattoo or other body modification done? Come on, spill it! It can’t be as bad as this guy:
Interesting art.
I have 6 holes in my ears (5 in the lobe, 1 in the cartilage) and used to have my tongue pierced (miss that, it was a great fidgit toy but it was going to ruin my teeth). Always liked things that weren’t permanent better than ink. Plus, I hate needles. However, I always wanted to get the two fishies swimming opposite directions (for pisces) on my ankle. Maybe someday.
Illustration major? When do we get to see the Great Drawing Experiment? 🙂
I LAUGHED when I heard that BritBrit had a hebrew tattoo that was mistranslated.
Im jewish and I fretted and obsessed to be sure mine was correct.
and we know all about my bodyartlove.
new tattoo outline coming on 5.3!
That is precisely the reason I tried to talk people out of getting tattoos in languages they don’t speak. Oh, sure, if you know how to write/read Sanskrit and can do your own translations, go for it! Otherwise, it won’t say what you want.
I have 8 holes in my ears (5 in the left, 3 in the right) and I used to have a tongue stud. The tongue got me grounded for 3 months in high school. I thought about getting it redone once I got to college, but by then it was the preppy thing to do, so I didn’t.
No ink for me. Yet! I have plans to get a tat as a celebration of finishing my PhD. It will either be the structure of the virus I study (adenovirus) or a stretch of DNA (the focus of my work). I just need to figure out where I want it.
I’ve got my ears pierced. I’d like a Celtic knot or something but BK has talked me out of it for several reasons (my favorite was “you don’t give an Aston Martin a paint job and spoiler kit, why would you want to tattoo your body”) although I’ve done henna. Really what convinced me is that while the idea for the tattoo has remained the same, the placement of where I’d like it has changed, so I’m pretty sure it’d be a mistake to me.
I’ve never been attached to anything enough to emblazon it permanently on my body…my thought it this: why not be part of the minority that doesn’t have tattoos? I did get a belly button ring on a dare my freshman year of college (my friends paid for it), and I had it about a year, but it never seemed to heal. It actually gushed blood the night I got it, weird? One night the little ball fell off the barbell in my yard somewhere and by the next morning it had closed up. Now I have a scar to remember it by. I never liked my belly anyway.
I have 1 piercing per ear and my bellybutton done and that’s it. No ink for me – I’m terrified of needles and I suffer through blood tests and flu’ shots, so I’m not really a candidate for body art.
When I got my belly pierced, I started cringing when the needle went in, even though it was completely numbed and I couldn’t feel a thing. Psychological pain.
I got my ears pierced when I was about 3 or 4 – way before I associated needles with pain.
My ears are double pierced. I got the first set when I was nine. By the time I was ten, they had been infected at least a half dozen times. The second piercing was when I was fourteen. (My mom took me to the mall without my dad’s permission.) By the time I was in my early twenties, I had no interest in wearing two sets of earrings anymore. I rarely even wear one set now – just on Sundays when I wear a nice set my husband gave me for my birthday one year.
I have to say I am grateful my eight year old daughter has no interest in ever having her ears pierced. When I was her age, I begged my parents regularly because I so wanted to fit in with the crowd and from my perspective, “everyone” was doing it.
I was always too much of a wimp to get a tatoo. I am hoping my children follow in my wimpy footsteps. I have never told them they CAN’T get a tatoo, (because I know that would just encourage them) but I take every opportunity to show them things like this blog (thank you for the opportunity, Charlotte) and they all currently have the opinion that tatoos are crazy and way too painful to consider.
Warning to those with nipple piercings: I attended a CPR class this week and got some interesting info. AEDs (defibrillators that even the public can use when someone’s heart stops) are becoming very commonplace – they are in schools, grocery stores, pools, etc. The person getting resuscitated can’t have any metal anywhere near the defibrillator pads when it’s used and obviously time is of the essence in saving someone’s life. That’s right – the EMT or Good Samaritan is going to just rip it right out to use the defibrillator. So if you want to have a nipple piercing and would like to keep your nipple, try not to go into cardiac arrest.
whoa… thanks Shellie
I have my ears pierced and 1 tattoo. I got it last September, it is the mascot of my collegiate alma mater.
I had wanted the tat for years but ever tattoo shop I went to just had a bad vibe. I always told my friends, “I’ll get it when it just feels right”.
While on vacation in Texas with my then boyfriend (now husband), we visit a shop in downtown. And bam…it felt right.
Now I’ve got a tattoo I love, and a great memory of having hubby there to hold my hand. 🙂
At one time I had my belly button pierced, but it got hung on my jeans one day and created a small tear. I took it out that night….and don’t miss it at all.
No tat’s. I took out my belly ring for my first pregnancy. Then as my belly grew the stretched scar tissue from the belly ring got UGLY. I actually showed it to a friends daughter to convince her and her friends NOT to get one (it worked, they were completely disgusted).
I always wonder how celebrities avoid this problem (with piercing or tummy tattoo’s) Or is it just me?
Most of my friends got tattoo’s on their lower back or ankle. But I paint, so I express myself on canvas rather than on my body.
oops sorry I posted twice.
How crazy are those mistakes!? I wasn’t planning on getting a tattoo but if I do one day I will definitely have to make sure it’s at least accurate first!
I really want my ears pierced, because I love how I look in earrings (especially dangly ones), but I’m allergic to the metal. I’m allergic to 24K gold, to the hypoallergenic, hell, my ears didn’t even heal when I was wearing plastic sheathes over the earrings. And even now, 10 years after I closed them, they’re still not fully closed and healed. Tried it twice and neither time took. Positive side, it saves me money on jewelry! My mother can’t even wear metal on her skin (necklaces are a no-go) and her wedding ring turns her skin colors, so at least my skin isn’t that extreme.
I have thought about a tattoo (though I’d have to research whether my skin would be allergic to it). But I haven’t found one that I’d want to have permanently.
And I liked that last photo, Charlotte! But then, I work in computer science publishing, so I thought it was really funny… 🙂
a PERMANENT marking on my body? Forever? I have trouble committing to a 3 year cell phone plan! A friend of mine got hers when she turned 18 (she’s 31 now) and has expressed regrets. She’s changed so much since then that the symbol no longer represents anything of importance to her. It labels you. Mother. Rebel. Marine. Tatoo person. Why brand yourself? Her biggest regret is that she can never be truly naked. Free of labels. Just her.
that being said, a half-sleeve or a full sleeve (on someone ELSE) is HOT. 😉
Just because I couldn’t do it, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate good work…
I also like piercings and tats…on other people. I do think it’s art.
I have pierced ears but never wear earrings. And I can’t get a tattoo; too wimpy.
But if you’ve got ’em and wanna show ’em off, I’ll gladly look!
All I have to do is think about what I wore, thought, admired, aspired to, etc 20 years ago–and how different some of things are now–and it stifles any urges to make permanent statements on my body. Who knows what I’ll think is cool (or not) in another 20 years?
But for other folks who are more stable it would probably be cool to embrace something without reservation like that.
Gotta love “Sweet Pee” though. Awesome break-up story.
I got my first tatto when I was 15 and still love it to this day! Probably because it is in a location where my parents can’t see it, so it is easy to hide! My second tattoo I don’t love as much. I wish I had a lifestyle which would allow me to get lots of tattoos all over, but, alas, accounting does not really embrace body art.
I have had many piercings over the years, primarily in my ears, but also in less traditional places. I’m not sure if I could still wear rings in all the holes I’ve had over the years, but I currently only wear two earrings, and don’t regret all the piercings in the past. However, in the past I have suffered other body mutilation issues that make a scarred-over earring hole look like nothing.
What I don’t get is people who pierce their tongue. I mean, earlobes, bellies, you’re piercing skin. The tongue is a muscle! You need to use it! I don’t get why you’d mutilate a muscle.
This sort of thing tends to bring on my tendency to speak in italics. My apologies.
I love my tattoo but if I could I’d remove it in a second. Kind of odd right?
Every time I ever wanted a tattoo, I’d write down a description of what I wanted and stick it in a drawer for a year. I figured I’d pull it out a year later, and if I still liked it, I’d get it.
Every year, I’d pull out the description and think, “Thank God I didn’t go get that!” I did that for 3 years before deciding that something as permanent as a tattoo wasn’t for me.
Love ’em on other people, though. (‘Specially boys, I’m not gonna lie. ;D)
The only piercing I have is my ears. As for tattoos… the only thing I did was permanent eyebrows since I have none. Can't afford to do it anymore but it was great while I had them… never had to worry about the eyebrow pencil coming off my oily face or if I had an itch form my crazed hair & took off half my eyebrow scratching it!
I was one of those girls who did silly silly things to impress whatever boy was in her life at the time (can you say needy?) and so in the process, I have had my nipple pierced, as well as another compromising area (yes, THAT area – OUCH).
I don’t have any of the jewellery now, 10 years later, but I do still sport the scars – and let me tell you, they aren’t pretty.
I have had at one point 8 holes in my ears (I now have only 4, 2 on each side) and I am pretty sure I got all those holes to impress my friends and tick off my parents (again with the neediness – yikes). I have also tried branding, and have a tattoo of a bunny on my back (I was born in the year of the rabbit).
Now that I have grown up, and lost the desperate need to please others with permanent mutilation of my own body, I regret all of it. So don’t do it – unless it is for you – ALL FOR YOU. The only scars I can appreciate now are stretch marks from carrying my children.
(and as a side note, if you are ever considering carrying children in the future, don’t get tattoos on your lower belly area – my friend’s beautiful dolphin tat turned into a stretched out lumpy blue whale – NOT PRETTY)
I have two tattoos. One on my lower back above my right hip and the other on the top of my left foot near my toes. The one on my back was a 21st birthday present to myself. It’s a crescent moon surrounded by stars. I just love moon and star imagery and it jumped off the flash page when I went to look. The one on my foot says “spot” in a sort-of typewriter font. Spot was my first dog and was very attached to him.
I’m debating getting other tattoos but I like to think about them for along time before I make any decisions. Also, they need to be in places that can be covered up easily if the situation calls for it. The one on my foot is as edgy as it’s going to get.
I also had my belly button pierced when I turned 18 but took it out when I was 22. It never healed right and never looked as cute as I thought it would.
I have two tattoos. One on my lower back above my right hip and the other on the top of my left foot near my toes. The one on my back was a 21st birthday present to myself. It’s a crescent moon surrounded by stars. I just love moon and star imagery and it jumped off the flash page when I went to look. The one on my foot says “spot” in a sort-of typewriter font. Spot was my first dog and was very attached to him.
I’m debating getting other tattoos but I like to think about them for along time before I make any decisions. Also, they need to be in places that can be covered up easily if the situation calls for it. The one on my foot is as edgy as it’s going to get.
I also had my belly button pierced when I turned 18 but took it out when I was 22. It never healed right and never looked as cute as I thought it would.
I have two tattoos. One on my lower back above my right hip and the other on the top of my left foot near my toes. The one on my back was a 21st birthday present to myself. It’s a crescent moon surrounded by stars. I just love moon and star imagery and it jumped off the flash page when I went to look. The one on my foot says “spot” in a sort-of typewriter font. Spot was my first dog and was very attached to him.
I’m debating getting other tattoos but I like to think about them for along time before I make any decisions. Also, they need to be in places that can be covered up easily if the situation calls for it. The one on my foot is as edgy as it’s going to get.
I also had my belly button pierced when I turned 18 but took it out when I was 22. It never healed right and never looked as cute as I thought it would.
I had my ears double pierced… I’ve since let them close up. I also have a cartilage piercing that I love. I have my nose done, which I know I’ll eventually take out when I get a real job (I’m a college student)… and I had my tongue pierced for 3 days before my mother found out.
Its funny that you posted this.. I have long been wanting to get a tattoo and I was actually planning on going this weekend. I was very heavy into violin for most of my life and so I wanted to get a small treble clef on my foot.
I have 35+ hours of tattoo ink–full shirt back, a half-sleeve, several others. And I have grand plans for the future, too.
As for piercings–a few in the ears and a couple “down below”. And no, they do not get in the way of horseback riding, running, bicycle riding, or anything else you can think of.
I have a winged foot tattoo on the top of my foot (because I am runner) and still love it. When I turned 18 I got a butterfly tattoo on my back (I KNOW), I got it to symbolize freedom, beauty, and transformation, but I seriously had no idea of the butterfly tattoo trend at the time…shesh. I would still really like it if it wasn’t for the fact that people who don’t know me might think I’m some bimbo who gets tattoos for trends sake.
That said I’m going to be getting the word “beloved” in Hebrew on the inside of my wrist. I have a couple friend who are Bible/Hebrew scholars and will make sure I get it right, other wise I wouldn’t even go there.
heh oh the tales of horror are awful and hilarious at the same time. I don’t have a tattoo but should I ever choose to get one, I plan on having it on body temporarily for a while to see if I like it, and THEN I’ll get it inked on. And I’d re-check a million times about the translation/meaning if it was in a different language or if it was a symbol!
I have three holes in each ear as well as my eyebrow. Thinking of getting my bellybutton done.
I have a teeny weeny tattoo on my toe, and it doesn’t say anything, it’s just a little design.
I don’t have any holes other than the ones I was born with and have shunned the body art for some time now. I do remember that one proud American with us in the Army went out to get “Duty, Honor, Country” which were the words used in Douglas McArthur’s farewell address at West Point. Not checking out the establishment and how their work was rated got this inscribed instead: “Duty, Honor, County”. When it was pointed out that he may have a misspelling he said he’d have to go back and get that fixed.
i have 7 holes in my ears, one in my belly button and 2 tattoos. the way i feel about tattoos and regret is the following: there’s no point in regretting the perma-ink design, because even if it doesn’t mean anything anymore…it did…at one point, and that’s what matters. there’s no way a person can love a design for his or her entire life, so getting a tat with the hope that you’ll never get sick of it is wacko. i’m a huge fan of tattoos, in fact i’m saving up for another one right now.
regret is lame in all aspects of life, but with body art specifically, embrace the meaning it once had, even if it no longer has it. 🙂 my 2 cents.
I got my tattoo almost a year ago – I have a branch of cherry blossoms with a lady bug all over the top of my foot. It has a ton of symbolism. I grew up in the DC area and always loved teh cherry blossoms, and I’m a big traveler so wherever I go they remind me of home. I also took a trip to Japan by myself last year and the cherry blossoms were out and gorgeous, and in Japan their significance is that life is short but beautiful while it’s here. I had 3 family members and a friend die within a 15-month period last year and so I have a few falling petals for them, so I carry them with me. I did a lot of research on the design and who to do it, and I adore it – it definitely looks more like a silk screen than a tattoo, which is what I was hoping for. I get tons of compliments.
I have 10 holes in my ear- 4 on each side with 2 cartilage piercings on the left. I loved it in high school- I would wear studs, never anything too extreme.
My first tattoo was a little blue star on the inside of my wrist. I got it with my twin sister before college, when we went our separate ways.
The next one I despise- an “F” in script on my right shoulder blade. It was freshmen year of college and I was extremely homesick. I wanted something reflective and I got my first initial. Good think I don’t wear tank tops often! However, I do think about occasions when I would want to wear a strapless dress- like my future wedding??? I definitely regret it and wish I could turn back time, but it is also a memory about that phase in my life.
I have a huge fantasy piece on my thigh. No amount of makeup is ever going to conceal that! What was I thinking?
oh, this just reminds me of the whole trend about 5-8 years ago with chinese symbols on EVERYTHING in general. it was then that as co-captain of the bball team, my co and i decided we, too, should jump in and get the mandarin symbol for “north” (our school) on a basketball for our team sweatshirts. oh so embarrassing. not as embarrassing, however, had i not caught her trying to “spice up” the mandarin symbol with a few extra marks. she thought north looked too boring!
i wonder what it would have said had she changed the symbol…..
Prettiest tattoo I’ve ever seen?
Rachel Brice.
(She’s also one of the best middle Eastern dancers I have ever seen)
I kinda want a tattoo…but am afraid that I would change my mind.
I’m happy with my three ear piercings and one nose ring. 🙂
I’ve written a post in response to your post. You can access it here:
http://thegymismynewbf.blogspot.com/2009/04/lifetime-commitments.html