I’m 14 weeks pregnant today which means that not only am I officially second trimester now but I’m also the proud mama to a lemon. Yes, the Jelly Bean has moved up the random food scale used by Baby Center to describe the various fetus stages from junk food to something healthier although I can’t help but wonder about the lemon/bad car analogy. Anyhow, just like all the books say, most of my nausea is gone (haven’t barfed in two weeks!) and I’m starting to get some energy back. I’m also able to feel the baby move on occasion – yeah it’s early but that’s the bonus to this being my 5th pregnancy! – and I’m 90% sure it’s not gas. We’ve also got all the preliminary genetic testing back and everything looks good! My doctor says we can rule out Turner’s Syndrome, the genetic disorder that killed our first daughter. So many things to be happy about!
And yet. The one feeling that now predominates my pregnancy is… fat. I know. There’s a baby in there. But I don’t think it’s right to be carrying half on each thigh and the placenta on my hips unless I’m birthing a magician’s assistant. No, for some reason my body seems to gain pregnancy weight – and boy howdy did I gain weight, 10 pounds for the first tri alone (you’re supposed to gain 0) – in my legs, hips and face before it really shows up on my stomach.
Speaking of my stomach, it too is playing mind games with me. Here I am at 9 a.m. right before yoga class (forgive the lack of makeup and bed head):
And here I am at 6 p.m. THE SAME DAY. (Yeah, I’m still not wearing makeup nor have I done my hair. Your point is…?)
It’s like I advanced two months of pregnancy in 9 hours. I blame this on my slowed digestive system which makes me about six-months-preggo bloated by the end of the day. Needless to say, pooping has become an endurance sport in its own right.
All of which means that I’m in the “fat” stage of pregnancy. You know all those darling pregnant women you see in maternity ads? They’re all permanently arrested at 6 months gestation because that is the point when all your maternity clothes fit cute and yet you’re not retaining water like the Hoover Dam. Before that, you look more chubby than preggo and after that, well, let’s just say that there will be a time when you wake up with at least a month still to go and even your biggest maternity shirt only comes 3/4 of the way down your belly.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that feeling fat all the time isn’t depressing. The miracle of growing a new life doesn’t totally quiet all the crazy voices in my head. I wish I were one of those women who loved being pregnant and “glowed” and only gained weight in her tummy. But alas I am not. It sucks but at least the lemon is still juicing. Okay, that made no sense. What I mean is that I’m grateful the baby is doing well and I’ll shut up now about my low self-esteem.
Exercise in The First Trimester
For the duration of the first tri I managed to not miss a single workout although I did gross out random bystanders by throwing up a few times at the gym. I am quite proud to say I made it to the bathroom every time. Thank heavens for mints!
However, merely showing up for the workout does not mean they went really well. Every day the Gym Buddies were subjected to a litany of “I’m too tiiiirrrred! I’m soooore everywheeerrrre!” I’m lucky they are all such loving folks. Weight lifting felt harder and so I kept all my weight loads the same, not increasing anything but my whining. Cardio also was hard as running felt like I was wading through mud and I went from being able to sprint a mile in under 6 minutes to wheezing like my 90-year-old grandmother with emphysema just from walking up the stairs. It was not good for my ego or my butt.
Yoga, however, has felt amazing and I’m hoping to add another day of it. I’m also still enjoying the high-impact lovin’ of TurboKick as it helps keep my mind off the pain. The transition into the second tri has been a little weird. Take Thursday – I felt great, managing to run 3 miles on the treadmill at an 8:30 pace (the last mile at 7!) and then doing fitness yoga for an hour followed by a nice long walk and that night Taekwando class with my kids for an hour. And then came Friday. I could barely drag myself through 45 minutes of cardio and then laid – yes, literally – on the stretching mats for an hour during which various people came over to ask me if I was okay. One good Buddy even offered to fireman-carry me out to my car, as he thought I looked too shaky to make it on my own. I would have taken him up on it too, if it weren’t for my darn pride.
Exercise Goals For The Second Tri
“Pride” pretty much sums up what I learned about exercise in the first tri. As in, you have to have none. Truly, every pregnant woman and every pregnancy is different. I know this and yet I still try and hold myself to some crazy standard – even the standard of my own past pregnancies (I’ve never gained weight in the first tri before). And perhaps my compulsive exercising is again rearing its ugly head? Case in point: I read a magazine article about an elite distance runner who didn’t even realize she was pregnant until she was 5 months along and only then because her split times were becoming abnormally slow so her trainer sent her to the doctor. I am not like this. My running shorts got tight the second the stick turned pink. And even if they hadn’t, my decrease in endurance would have tipped me off within several weeks – if the puking or the exhaustion or the chipmunk cheeks hadn’t clued me in first. And yet, just because I’m not like her or Rachel on Friends (whose belly was fake anyhow!) or even my old friend who just Facebooked me to tell me she’s 36 weeks and still running 4 miles a day, doesn’t mean I’m not enough. I have to accept that my best is all I can ask of myself.
What I need to learn: There is no shame in listening to your body and slowing down when you need to. My goal for the next trimester? Be kinder to myself.
How are the rest of you preggos doing? Anyone have suggestions of how to be gentle with yourself even when (especially when) you’re feeling like a cow? Any tips for dealing with body image issues while pregnant?
I’ve been a lurker for a while but decided today to be brave. 🙂 I’m 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby and the fat stage was something no one told me about. I was VERY surprised. I guess I expected to go from normal to maternity (I’m now in the stage where nothing fits besides my husband’s t-shirts).
I actually felt pretty good about my pregnant self until I was around 34 weeks and got my first stretch marks. That was really much harder than I expected. As long as I’m in clothes I don’t feel too bad, it’s just when I look at my bare stomach that I get sad. I wish I were better at being accepting of what my body is doing but unfortately it’s a struggle.
I will say the thing that makes me feel a little better is knowing that after the baby is here my body will be different but that doesn’t have to mean worse. When I tell myself that I don’t feel quite so bummed out.
[warning: SUPER LONG COMMENT AHEAD]
First of all, fantastic news about the baby’s health.
Honestly I just try to chalk the fat up to everything else that’s gone wonky in my body. (this time around it’s my complexion. wha? didn’t see that coming…) Yes, I feel like a beached whale. But what keeps me from getting TOO down about it is the countdown to a)the baby, and b) the process to lose it. (even looking up race events for the end of the summer). I’ve gone through it enough to know that thighs won’t chafe forever.
But one thing that did help me was to imagine I was having a little girl (HAHA! I know, I know…) Just as exercise and trying hard to stay healthy and nourished would be in her best interest – SO is trying my hardest to love myself. If I could pass a portion of worthiness, self-love, and “hey, my body is a beautiful thing no matter what” through to her in the womb, I would do it in a heartbeat. That really helped me stay positive in the beginning
…you know, until I found out I was having a boy. 😉 JUST KIDDING.
p.s. “well, let’s just say that there will be a time when you wake up with at least a month still to go and even your biggest maternity shirt only comes 3/4 of the way down your belly.”
uh, yeah. that’s me right NOW, LOL!
(haha, I just edited out about 3 additional paragraphs…so maybe not as SUPER LONG as I thought…whoops)
The whole pregorexia thing may be catching on here in Asia too.
Check out these photos of a korean artiste/former Miss Korea Son Tae Young in a magazine when she was almost due:
Son Tae Young almost due And this was her 2 months after giving birth – in a bikini.
Bikini ready in 2 months
Ive been looking forward to/hoping for a post like this (THANK YOU FOR THE PHOTOS!!)
Thank you for your honestly.
Thank you for normalizing for so many women.
Thank you for your ability to make a subject which could have been…boring? uberserious? fun & light and still get your point across (The working toward being kind to yourself).
Such great news about the baby's health, Charlotte.
MAZEL TOV as my people say.
Carla
Congrats that the baby is healthy! And so glad that you plan to try to be gentler with yourself re: workout standards.
And thanks for the pictures! It’s funny, to me you look like a glowing adorable pregnant woman, even if to you you just feel “fat.”
Yay healthy baby! Congratulations C!! (where have i been?!) You look absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your oven is beautiful with a bun! (er……what I mean to say is that you look bangable preggo….er what i mean to say is…if I may be so bold, permit to say that you the state of expecting a child becomes you)
2 questions dear Charlotte, if you don’t mind
A) When did your body issues begin? At a certain age? I’m curious b/c before I was ED, I can truly say that I never once thought about body image, and certainly never negatively; it was simply a non-issue.
B) *and I know this is personal and would be different for everyone depending on individual circumstances* when you were recovering, how long did you take to put on the weight and what sort of emotions went through your head as you saw/felt the weight come on? I really, really would like to gain about 5-10 lbs (not a huge sum I know), but yet everytime I start to see the first initial pounds creep up, I get scared and worry that it’s just all fat and not all over bulk. Thanks!!!!!!
I’ve been trying to lose those 10 lb’s that crept up on me, but we’ve also been trying to get pregnant. And now (though it’s still a day or two early to take the test) I’m pretty sure I am pregnant.
I’m starting out weighing more then I wanted to (though still 12 lb’s less then the beginning of my last pregnancy) and I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it having worked so hard the last 2.5 years to keep my weight at a healthy level.
I couldn’t exercise during my last pregnancy, but I think I’m going to push myself at least 3 times a week during this one and hire personal trainer once a month to help me adjust my workout to my changing body.
Luckily the trainer is also my neighbour so I think having her around on a regular basis will really help keep me motivated!
But, I also know I lost all the weight last time and will be easily able to do it again.
Anyhow, good luck, you look fabulous!
Staying fit during pregnancy was one of the smarter ideas that came out of the fitness movement of the late 20th century!
You go girl!!
You are so adorable pregnant! And just so you don’t feel so bad, my sister has that same 9 hour progression each day too – she’s says it’s so frustrating. So glad that you got good news on the baby’s health! 🙂
Maggie – THANK YOU for your comment. Youhave no idea how much better it made me feel just to know I’m not alone in this. Good point about being “different but not worse”!
KatieO – I love you!! And I love that you imagined you were having a girl. Most people probably won’t get why that helps but I so do! And your comment about “my thighs won’t chafe forever” made me giggle. I need that on a bumper sticker.
Orbiter – tks for the links. Scary!
Miz – thanks for your support. I was afraid of getting a lot of "at least you can have kids and a healthy pregnancy! Quit whining!!" comments. Which, you know, wouldn't be wholly undeserved.
Crabby & Fitarella – Aw, thanks guys!!
Mackenzie – Wow, I've never been called "bangable" while pregnant before! But hey, I'll take the compliment. As for your Q's, that's a whole post in itself! The short answer: a) very early, I was ED'ed by 12. b)I can't give you a straight answer as I tend to gain weight very quickly and then freak out and lose it again very fast.
Patricia – Sounds like you have a good, sensible plan, girl!! You are my new hero.
Dr. J – Thanks!
Colleen – It actually makes me feel better that your sister’s belly is doing the same thing!! Love you!
I’m glad that the baby is okay, and agree that “lemon” doesn’t have the best connotations. Could we call the baby a lime?
Honestly, I think that you look great.
And there is no one way to maintain your health during pregnancy.Definitely up the yoga, as you want to do more, and to be honest, I’m more accepting of my body when I do more yoga.
Of course you were tired on Friday, you exercised for more than 3 hours on Thursday and yeah I know it wasn’t as strenuous as you normally might but hello, making a baby here?!
I loved this post 🙂 When I was in the fat stage of pregnancy I would actually push my tummy out so I looked more pregnant than I was 🙂
Congrats on the healthy lemon!!!!
When I got into my fat stage I proudly put on my tightest maternity shirts and paraded around. It was the first time I didn’t feel the need to hide my stomach. A bonus? Everyone either got out of my way or became super-helpful! I even considered getting a “Wide Load” T-shirt made up.
I must say that the freakiest part for me was after giving birth, when my milk came in. We took our son for a doctor’s appt. and by the time we came home I looked like Pamela Anderson. Weird. (But Hubby was happy!)
Good for you for being kind to yourself and doing what feels good! (Does your gym have a pool? That can be helpful as the pregnancy progresses.)
Oh, and if you haven’t yet, go check out “The Shape of a Mother.” It’s a website of photos and stories of REAL women and their pregnancies.
I’m eagerly taking notes here about how to feel good about yourself during pregnancy because I just don’t know. I had a mini breakdown in a Target dressing room on Friday while I was trying to find something to wear to a party that didn’t make my butt look huge. How is it possible to get cellulite on your formerly toned arms?
Katie-O’s mantra that thighs won’t chafe forever reminds me of how I use Body Glide now for a whole ‘nother reason than I did when I was marathon training and it is depressing.
The bright side is that I feel great about my preggo body is when I am working out. I may be pregnant and have gained XX pounds but I can still keep up pretty good at CrossFit!
Also, seeing the other side of the weight gain coin has given me a new appreciation for my pre-pregnancy body. I was always trying to lose 10 pounds but I didn’t have a bad body at all. When I get back to where I was, I will be much more appreciative of what I had.
Hi Charlotte, you look really cute.
I got pregnant in February and lost the baby at 10 weeks. I gained about 7-8 pounds during those 10 weeks, and now I am no longer pregnant and the weight is stuck. It’s depressing, I was okay with it when it was “baby weight” but now that the baby is gone, I just feel fat.
Char –
My belly does that every day and I’m not even prego!! 🙂
Congrats on the healthy little one!
And I’m with Natesmum… my belly does that every day and I’m not pregnant. Although by the end of the day I LOOK 8 months preggers… definitely some bad digestion issues… working on those!
Being a dad I can’t begin to offer any advice on body issues while pregnant. I guess acceptance of nature doing its work is all I have to offer. Nature is bigger than us and does what it does, which is something we can’t even begin to understand. Hmmm. Like I said its not much but there you go.
Charlotte, first I love your last sentiment: There is no shame in listening to your body and slowing down when you need to. My goal for the next trimester? Be kinder to myself. Sounds like it may be a challenge for you since you are so exercise goal oriented & have this compulsive exercise thing rearing it's head. I can relate to that but NOT the pregnancy!!
I want to congratulate you on getting past the 1st trimester AND for the genetic testing results. Very happy for you & I bet a load off your mind too!
I laughed silly at your explanations of your workouts and "other stuff"! You so make it like we are there with you. Your writing is amazing!
I am not & have not been preggo but I must say I relate to your digestive system! I have always had a slow one no matter how much water I drink or fiber I eat. I can look a bit preggo just having to go to the bathroom & always been that way… BUT I ADMIT I KNOW NOTHING OF THE PREGNANCY HARDSHIPS, so, I send lots of good thoughts your way that things get better.
BTW, I think you look better in those pics that a lot of the people out there! You look great!
Well, at 27 weeks, my baby is the size of a cauliflower, per BabyCenter. I definitely hated the in-between stage, but I have now ballooned out to the enormous-people-are-shocked-that-I-still-have-three-months-to-go stage. I can’t tell you how many people have asked if I’m having twins. What can I say? I have big babies. My oldest was 10lbs and my youngest was 9lbs 5oz. I also gain all of my weight out front and I have gained 10lbs so far. I am sure that this time around I’ll be at the nothing fits me stage in another month. Looking forward to a hot summer!
Congratulations on a healthy baby Charlotte, I was so excited to see that you’re pregnant. I’m another one who’s been lurking on your blog for awhile but was inspired to comment by this post! I’m currently 21 weeks with my second pregnancy and totally identify with having a body that just puts on weight like crazy when pregnant (my husband says I would make a good cow!).
I gained 80 lbs with my first baby (no that’s not a typo!) and am trying like anything not to repeat the experience. I’m on track to gain about 40, which I can live with. I love your pictures – my belly does the exact same thing! And I have a lot of friends and family who have skinny bodies and tiny bumps, and gain the standard 25 lbs, so it’s nice to know that it’s not entirely freakish to gain 10 lbs in the first trimester. I try to calm myself down when I start freaking out by planning all the exercising I’m going to do once I’m not pregnant-exhausted. Even though I’ll be 2-children-exhausted. Hmmm, that’s a good question, how do you fit in workouts with two little kids?
Hey Charlotte. Congrats on making it past the nausea stage and on the health of your baby.
Well, I’m out! I was the one who was 7 weeks pregnant when I first wrote. Now I’m 10 and 1 day. Just came home from my doctor’s appointment and saw a sonogram where the little thing was moving around. Was really cool to see.
I’ve been doing some occasional yoga these past few weeks, but honestly, have been feeling so shitty that every time it was just a gamble whether or not I was going to hurl all over my mat. I’ve been feeling a little bit better these past few days and can’t wait to start exercising and feeling healthy.
Good luck as your pregnancy progresses. I’ll be chiming in from time to time on fitness and pregnancy in the comments.
Hey Charlotte! Glad to hear the testing went well and the nausea has abated. My nausea and dizziness has pretty much passed too. We’re due right about the same time and I am so hopefull that we’re in the lull of the storm (before 3rd tri when we feel like we’ll explode or be pregnant forever).
I hate this fat phase, although with my two previous children, I was so happy to have a viable pregnancy that it didn’t phase me at all, and I may have done a bit like Fit Mama, pushing it out to look more noticably pregnant. Especially as I’ve been carrying my maternal weight and been in that fat phase for the last 15 years or so.
Now that I’ve lost some weight and gotten hooked on working out, feeling fat is really agravating, as is feeling weaker. I console myself that it must all be baby as I’ve only gained one or two pounds so far. I do worry that I’ve lost muscle and gained fat, but I try not to let it get to me too bad.
The bloating and constipation are a force to be reckoned with! One day I can feel like it’s going to be a long 26 weeks to go, then another day, I don’t feel pregnant at all.
Since I did lose 30 pounds recently I can still wear my fat clothes, which is kind of a bummer. I mean, you lose 30 pounds, you should get new clothes!!!! And not maternity stuff!
I’m starting to miss a workout here or there, just because I have reduced energy and have been letting things with the house and kids slide a bit, and it’s starting to pile up, so something’s got to give.
I think you look phenomenal, so fit and so beautiful.
About this: “Anyone have suggestions of how to be gentle with yourself even when (especially when) you’re feeling like a cow?” This is what I try to do with myself daily–and it is much more difficult postpartum, easier when there’s a baby inside… but being gentle (sometimes with a carton of ice cream) is what I’m doing. The doughy stomach isn’t great, but I love having boobs:-) I’ve even looked at myself in a mirror, at this full-figured woman and said, “wow, cool!” I think what makes me OK with the weight is knowing it’s temporary. Healthy baby trumps all. Congrats Charlotte!
Charlotte,
Sorry I don’t have much advice to offer, but I truly hope you will be kinder to yourself. I know it’s hard, but there is no shame whatsoever in listening to your body. Ahh, why are we so stubborn sometimes? Will you please remind me of these very same words if I ever get pregnant? 🙂
Thanks for such an honest post. This is something that’s kept me from getting preggo for while now… the thought of getting fatter totally freaks me out and I always thought I was a total freak for feeling like that. Thanks for making me feel normal 🙂 Go little lemon go!
you’ve got to also remember that horizontal stripes do nothing for people in that second picture, charlotte. :-p i’m not pregnant, but i wear horizontal stripes and i immediately look about 10 pounds heavier.
I am 11 W today and have spent the entire pregnancy so far on the couch (first thyroid was knocked out, then hyperemesis). I can’t WAIT until the mythical 12 W when my barf parade is supposed to go away and I can go exercise again, also e.g. go to work. So to me your being able to work out at all in the first trimester is nothing short of a miracle accomplishment, let alone everything else you have been doing in your life. Congratulations!
RE the prospect of gaining weight, it really, really, really doesn’t bother me but (a) I don’t have body image issues and (b) so far I have lost weight, sometimes at a very alarming rate, so gaining seems like a very very good idea and (c) I am on pregnancy #5 (with 0 kids at home) so to me the goal is just LIVE BABY and everything else be damned.
I remember this – I had to laugh when I saw your “before” and “after” pictures on the same day. (Not at you, just because I had the same experience.) I also bloated way early. I remember with my 4th pregnancy. I was 6 weeks along, went to church and someone looked at my belly and said “Congratulations!” We hadn’t told anyone yet, but my bloating gave it away. It was just too obvious.
My husband’s grandmother’s favorite line that I said during pregnancy was “I like my big belly because it makes my legs look skinnier.” She thought that was hilarious. I have a uterus that tilts forward and puts the baby way out in front (and has given me the “pooch” since I was 14 years old.) Then add the facts that I don’t clear 5′ in height and my torso is not long. My fetuses entered the room before I did. The upside is my organs and ribs rarely got kicked. The downside is I got so big, I kept closing doors and cupboards on my unborn children, especially the first time around and everyone thought I was four months further along than I was. I have a picture (5 months pregnant) standing in Texarkana. My feet are in Texas, my fetus in Arkansas. I guess you just have to have fun with it.
And congrats on your great test results. What a blessing and a miracle!
You are SO cute prego!!
Hi Charlotte,
Just wanted to let you know that you really don’t look fat (or even pregnant) in your AM photos. My belly grows from morning to night as well, and the sad thing is I’m not even pregnant.
So I’m guessing that since you’ve gained 10 lbs already, you must have been really slim before you got pregnant (not at all like a woman who’s had 4 babies). Don’t worry, I’m sure you will lose the weight after the baby’s born because you’ve always managed to lose it before.
I’ve never been pregnant before, and I love the fact that you’re blogging about yours because it makes being pregnant seem less scary to me. (I am terrified of the prospect of pregnancy because of the weight thing…My mother had a great figure before she had me, and she never got it back.)
I’m just like you – in the morning I only look a little chubby around the middle, but at the end of the day I have a full-blown baby bump! gotta love a slower digestion…sigh…I’ve been in maternity pants since 9 weeks (I’m 10.5 now)!
Oh, and speaking of the “random food scale”, my little bean is now a “kumquat”. 😉
I’m SOOO looking forward to 2nd tri and the return of energy/end of nausea. And way to go with keeping up all of your workouts! Honestly, my bleeding problems have left me too scared to do more than taking walks w/ the kids…I think if I get to my second tri w/o further issues I’ll go back to my favorite salsa-dance prenatal workout video.
Most obstetricians recommend that women preparing to conceive visit the gynecologist to talk about everything from diet to genetic risk factors and healthy pregnancy. For women with a chronic illness, such as psoriasis, prepregnancy is a perfect time to talk about treatments that will be safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding
Thanks so much for the bit about "the chubby stage" and how at 6 months things'll get a bit cuter. lol I am in my first tri and have gained 10 lbs!!!!! I feel like a pregnant cow. You've given me hope. I've never had a potbelly, but hourglass shapes are no good for pregnancy, I'm fat EVERYwhere now, rather than just my arms and thighs. 🙁
Me too at 12 weeks! :/
Pingback:Pregnant CrossFitter Sends Internet Into Hysterics: Is she an example of the power of women or of societal expectations are?
Thank you for writing this, I’ve been so depressed that I’m suddenly fat everywhere I feel disgusting, I can’t wear 99% of my jeans, and I’m only 12 weeks along!!, I’ve gained 6 lbs, yet the bloating fluctuates. On top of that I’ve been so severely exhausted, nauseated and short of breath it’s hard even going for daily walks and doing stairs. I wish I could do more, it’s been really hard. It was nice of you to post about this, being lumpy and bloated and feeling not sexy is a downer… Even my partner makes me feel kinda bad,,, maybe it’s worse because I’m in my 30’s? Anyway, I’m starting a prenatal yoga class this week and I hope that helps my mood and body feel better <3 I hope it gets better soon so I can be more active, I wish was prenatal workout classes and swimming etc 🙂 I'm at a high risk so I can't do any high impact or heavy weights etc I'm also going to ask my doc for advice next week at my check up . Thanks for your post.
Thank you for writing this! Still relevant in 2016. I never comment on articles but just wanted you to know this post came at a time when I really needed it – so thank you, thank you. I’m 14 weeks and haven’t told anyone at work at so feeling the awkwardness all of you have identified. Feel a little less lonely after reading this and more empowered. Off to the gym for some good feeling cardio and then home for an overall dose of be “kinder to myself.” Take care!
You’re supposed to gain zero in the first trimester? Give me a break, all women and all pregnancies are different! I make mostly healthy food choices but honestly I eat whatever I can keep down and I put on 7 pounds in 10 weeks! My little passenger is totally healthy and so Am I!