Nothing says SPECTACULAR! like a tower of processed pork products!Mine was a product-centered childhood. Not from any failure on my parents’ part but rather because I was one of the first generations to grow up with a television and TV ads specifically aimed at children. Therefore I have many fond memories of various ’80s paraphernalia: My Little Ponies and Rainbow Bright (side note: Turbo Jennie wore Rainbow Bright shoes to Hip Hop the other day and 20 years later I still almost died of envy.) were my faves but I also have strong feelings about plastic t-shirt clips, fluffy hair bows, jelly shoes, unicorns and charm necklaces. Tucked amongst these childish things are adult product invasions: Tupperware in brown and orange, melmac dishes, large neon earrings, shoulder pads, feathered hair and very very lax seatbelt laws.
I’d forgotten one my favorites, however, until today. Until Reader Melissa (love you girl!) sent me the link to these old Weight Watchers recipe cards. I used to sit on the kitchen floor and organize these endlessly in the little plastic storage box with dividers that they came with. I remember much time spent in poring over the pictures, the recipes and yes, even, the calories. (See – even then I had food issues!)
And now I must share them with you. Honestly I can’t believe this was even considered food, much less “health” food. Be warned: you may vomit.
Consider: first they killed the fish, then canned it for your convenience and now they want you to try and resurrect it before you eat it? And is it just me or do those fish eggs look an awful lot like lemons?
I do not see where the “melon” nor the “mousse” come into this “dessert.” But I really really dig the saucers. They actually look more like food than the food product.
Jelly, tomato and refresher are three words that should never be together. Jellied tomatoes? I’m pretty sure they are talking actual Jell-O here. It was the ’70s. I’m sure tomato Jell-O existed. If not, somebody call Atrayu, I hear he’s got an in.
This enchilada is on a piece of toast. Mexicans everywhere thank the stars for quotation marks.
Here we are again with the Jell-O mold. And purple cabbage. People in the 70’s must have had awfully low standards for “perfection.”
Well color me surprised: fish bleed red.
These actually don’t look too bad except I’m confused about one thing – what exactly is the “caucasian” involved? Can Weight Watchers possibly be promoting cannibalism?? Somewhere Atkins wishes he’d thought of it first.
Whew – good thing they chilled this celery log or it might not look like the disgusting spawn of a sea cucumber and what my dog pooped after he ate a roll of Mylantas. Also, what up with all the pimientos Weight Watchers?
It’s fluffy AND it’s mackerel. The pudding’s just gravy. PS> I love that strawberry potholder.
This is yet another Jell-O mold but this time with the delightful palate-pleasing combo of green beans, ‘shrooms and what appears to be ketchup. Note the Mommy mushrooms in the background telling their kid mushrooms, “Now let this be a lesson to you…”
And my number one Weight Watchers Flashback Favorite is… liver pate en masque! Yes, it’s Jell-O AND liver! Garnished with radishes!! And a peevish piggy bank!!! Good thing they are including a mask because blindfolded is the only way I’d ever eat it.
So, anyone else tasting their bile? What is the worst diet recipe you’ve ever made?
Oh. Oh my.
Wow.
That’s just…there are no words!
That’s some nasty weird food. You should check out Wendy’s blog, http://www.candyboots.com, it’s all about this stuff. She wrote the book “I’m not the new me”, which turned me on to the fat acceptance and health bloggers.
So your nausea must truly be over in order for you to even look at that stuff!
I could lose weight with that menu, I wouldn’t touch the stuff! Makes you wonder what we’ll think of today’s food in 30 years or so.
Wow and more wow! The “mouse of salmon” sounds just like the “salmon loaf” my hubby was forced to eat as a kid. The dog wouldn’t even eat it!
I tried the cabbage diet, yuck yuck. I can’t look at a cabbage now.
The saucers under the melon mouse are really gorgeous! No comment on the food.
I skimmed as fast as I could and made it through sans bile!
and the worst Ive ever made?
dang. I got nothin’
dry rice cakes in the name of ‘dieting with friends’ in high school.
we were lazy that way.
Wow. That all looked disguisting. Who knows, maybe jello is yummier in non sweet stuff than we though. lol. I’ll let y’all try it first 🙂
Wow.
I think the “fluffy mackerel pudding” is my personal favorite culinary atrocity, but it’s close–they’re all so hilarious and hideous.
Isn’t weird that they keep trying to take the nastiest flavored food and refashion them into dessert-like offerings?
It also makes me realize though, that in modern times, commercial companies don’t go near any “challenging” foods like mackerel or beets or liver–it’s all bland chicken and beef and maybe, if they’re feeling exotic, shrimp. I suspect our tastes have broadened in some ways but narrowed in others.
Although in the case of tomato flavored jello, I think that’s a good thing.
Creamed salmon over toast was a bizarre night from my childhood. I also remember that my mother used to stuff some baked tuna concoction into a fish mold. I guess that the shape of a fish with anything stuffed in it was much more popular that the actual fish.
I honestly have no idea what to say.
The background objects were pretty awesome though
LOL!! Those pictures brought up more memories than I can write about, none of them “safe for work!”
I just got my ab workout done for the day between dry heaving at those pictures and laughing at your commentary! Thanks Charlotte! 🙂
I didn’t make it, but I once went to a birthday party where the mom baked a vegan birthday cake, made with soy flour, soy milk, tofu “cream cheese” frosting, and no sugar.
Gawd, that was awful. The poor kids were very polite about it; they used all their kid-skills of mashing it around the plate and “accidentally” dropping some under the table.
At least there was no jello in it.
People actually ate that stuff? Cause I was a kid in the 70’s and I know I never saw anything like it on our dinner table. Thank-you Mom!
Absolutely the worst thing I ever tried to make was fake tofu cheese. The biggest food lie I’ve ever heard is that nutritional yeast does not taste anything like cheese.
Have you ever checked out the Gallery of Regrettable Food? It’s a whole book of images like this- with funny commentary. It’s hilarious!
OH my god. I love these recipies. And my mom still has orange tupperware. The weirdest diet food I have seen (must admit, have not tried) is “protein pancakes”. Doesn’t sound so bad…but I was trying to figure out how to add some protein to my morning pancakes so i used good ‘ol google. The pancake recipe that came up was this: Protein powder plus enough water to make a paste. Cook on a griddle. Could this be grosser? I don’t care how much of a protein/body builder freak you are, this can’t be good. What do you think?
What’s with all the jello? Back in the 80s my mom’s idea of a snack for the kids was a slice of bologna. I can’t even look at bologna without gagging…
wendy mcclure (I’m Not the New Me)wrote a funny book a few years ago called The Amazing Mackerel Pudding Plan wihc is all about these disgusting recipes! I have it right here- the pics are even grosser in person. Of the Jellied Tomato Refresher, she writes, “Yes, let’s have these in BRANDY snifters. Let’s just tip out heads back and let the chunks slide in.” Gross!!
Oh my goodness… I’m surprised Weight Watchers survived with this type of fare being offered. Of course, woman have been known to do some interesting things in terms of diet!
I had total flashbacks to my childhood with the color schemes: the oranges and avocado greens and lovely browns– to my grandma’s house! That woman would have eaten that stuff, too!
Lucky for me mom was a hippie, so it was all homemade quilts and pottery, brown rice, stir fried veggies, yogurt and homemade bread.
I gotta call that woman and thank her!
Oh my. I was such a picky eater as a child I would have been loathe to even go near any of those things. Although – now I’ll try anything once foodwise (though I can’t promise I’ll actually swallow it…)
The grossest thing I remember from my childhood was eating rye crackers with liverwurst spread on them and yellow mustard on top. Me – the kid who wouldn’t eat most meat – but I would eat liverwurst. Crazy, huh.
I think the value of these diet foods was that nobody could eat them! Thanks for a good old belly laugh, Charlotte!
OMG! Those were some of the most horrific pictures of food. (Wish I would have noticed the vomit advisory before reading!)
Right now I feel bile in the back of my throat. Sheesh!
Maybe that was WW diet secret?!?!
Is it just me or does the last one make you think of Hawaii? The volcano…the jungle with overgrown flowers…the giant pig.
Ehhh! That was pretty hilarious. I’m from the south, and my grandparents are very typical southerners as far as diet goes. When my mom was growing up, my grandmother made sausage gravy with bread crumbs every morning for breakfast… just as gag-worthy as those weight watchers recipes in my opinion…
OMG.. GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wants to make you puke!!!!!! You are too funny!
Me, the worst I got was when I was bodybuilding & had to boil my chicken & nothing else to make it taste good…. I got used to it but not look appealing for sure when you can't add anything to it!
“Note the Mommy mushrooms in the background telling their kid mushrooms, “Now let this be a lesson to you…”” cracked me up SO MUCH.
i had the biggest obsession with jelly shoes growing up. i was never allowed to own them so i obsessed about them. i had DREAMS about them.
i finally bought a pair when i was 18 and in college … i realized why i was probably never allowed to wear them – they’re hot, sweaty and not all that comfortable. mom probably just didn’t want me complaining when i had them on. figures.
So people lost weight on this diet….because they’d rather starve than eat this stuff?!
Great post, Charlotte! Brings back memories of organizing those cards in my mother’s orange and avacado green plastic boxes… yes, she had two!
My MIL still shows up to all family functions with her “molded” salads!
Holy crap, I read your blog because it’s funny, but you’ve really outdone yourself on this one. No wonder this is a parttime job: those witticisms don’t just fly out of that piggy bank’s behind on demand. And that’s not ketchup on those beans, babe, it’s (you guessed it) more pimientos. Which is actually the scientific name for a baby mento pictured in the celery log feature. And might I add (of course I can add, it’s my comment, I don’t need permission) that the photography is yet another cringe inducing component of this article, so often overlooked. I wonder if we can Photoshop these into something spectacular, or at the very least edible? Certainly we can if the power of Photoshop has ever been demonstrated on this blog, which it has…many times…excuse me, I need to use the restroom. You have a way about doing that to us!
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OMG, that’s hilarious! I am literally laughing out loud! That stuff looks so horrific! Jellied Liver? eewwwww! Regular liver is bad enough.
I’m with Amy, I’d lose weight just because I couldn’t put any of that near my mouth!
WOW. Although I’m pretty sure the appalling food photography techniques didn’t help much. All the pictures in my mum’s recipe books looked pretty plastic and gross.
Great diet aid though – who’d wanna eat after clocking an eyeful of that??
Hope you’re well Charlotte!
TA x
OMG WHAT.
I feel violated. How can anyone have contemplated eating any of that?
Modernization does not equal progress, in this case.