Even better, all of the genetic tests have come back 100% clean so it seems that the Turner’s Syndrome that killed our oldest daughter, Faith, will not be an issue this time around. There were tears when the ultrasound tech gave us the news. It’s not that I wanted a girl more than a boy but rather I just never thought I’d get this opportunity. My husband and three boys are very excited (although I’m pretty sure the boys don’t even know what the word “girl” means yet). I just feel extremely blessed.
And nervous. Because I wouldn’t be me if I hadn’t already started worrying about how fit I am, with all of my self-image issues, to raise a daughter. The day we found out, I immediately called my sister to tell her the good news.
“Oh, yay! A little Charlotte!” she exclaimed. (It’s widely acknowledged that our boys look just like my husband – fortunately he’s the handsomest man I know.)
For a brief second I pictured a little girl with curly black pigtails, pink cheeks and a crooked grin, just like I had growing up. And then that image was erased by years of fighting said curly hair, trying to hide the ruddiness with makeup and worrying about my thin-lipped smile. Oh, and don’t forget my nose. I gasped, “I hope she at least gets his long eyelashes! And thick, wavy hair! And green eyes! Oh, and I definitely hope she gets his metabolism.”
My sister paused. “She’s the size of a banana and you’re worrying about her metabolism?”
I know. I’d just found out an hour ago that she was healthy and my insecurities were already intruding upon her life.
My sister, who has two daughters herself, heard my deep sigh and consoled me, “It gets easier. You’ll get better at it.”
I’d better because if I know one thing, it’s this: Self hate is not the legacy I’m leaving my daughter. My love for books, my gregariousness, my delicate hands – there are many good things I hope she inherits from me.
In the meantime though I really do hope she gets my husband’s eyelashes. Seriously, they’re so long he trims them with scissors because they bother him.
PS> For those of you who care about such things, back when I was 10 weeks pregnant I did use Intelligender, that new pee-in-a-cup baby gender predictor kit that you can now buy at Walgreen’s. You can use it as early as 6 weeks and they say it’s 90% accurate. It was in my case! It said girl and the ultrasound confirmed it. Unfortunately it also told Gym Buddy Allison that she is having a girl and four ultrasounds later we’re pretty sure it’s a boy. So take that for what you will!
Yay! Congrats on finding out that your baby (girl!) is healthy!
gurls rule!! best wishes to you all : )
How wonderful!
cammi99
Oh, congratulations! As the mother of three boys and then a girl (13 weeks old and I don't THINK I've ruined her yet), I know how you feel. OH YAY, A DAUGHTER!
*pause*
Oh no, a daughter.
I'm wrestling with all the issues of raising a girl in these perverse times, but I can also say with some authority that dressing a baby girl is WAY FUN.
Sorry, I meant to be thoughtful, I really did.
Great news!
You have a lot of great qualities to pass down to her (besides the ones you named), and even though you admit to being sometimes a little too concerned with workouts and eatings and bodies, the fact that you recognize it and reflect upon it on your blog gives me great confidence that you will teach her to be self-confident and strong 🙂
Congratulations!!!!!!!
You're gonna be a GREAT girl mom!!!!
(When I was pregnant, both times, I prayed the kids would get my height and Hubby's athleticism. And they did! So here's to long eyelashes, rosy cheeks, and cute pigtails!)
(BTW, isn't it kinda UNFAIR when you do all the work and the kids come out looking just like your husband?)
I worried about the same things as soon as I found out #3 was a girl. I still worry about them. I worry about what to say/do to pass along a healthy identity with food to her.
Sigh.
But they are sure darn cute to dress up!!
Yay! Congratulations!
I am SO excited for you.
"Self hate is not the legacy I'm leaving my daughter."
Write it down and look at it everyday. 🙂
Congratulations! My God, it's so wonderful reading this post! I really hope this pregnancy of mine (which I'm not even totally sure exists as the simple strip tests don't confirm it yet) will turn out to be a girl. The first two were boys and I didn't think I was "princessy" enough to raise a young lady, but now I feel ready and really really really hope I am pregnant. (Sorry for "me, me, me" syndrome here, it's just that I took this post as a sign and feel very touched by it.)
Yeah I am so happy for your family. Your house needs more estrogen 🙂 You will be a great mom for that little girl and I'll bet that it might even help you work through your insecurities (not that I know what they are seeing as how I know lots of people who are jealous of you).
Oh Charlotte! That is SUCH LOVELY JOYOUS news! I am so pleased and happy for you!!!!! You are going to be a fabulous mummy to a little Charlotte!
Honestly, I feel a bit teary-eyed!
Love Lizzie xxxxxxx
BEYOND HAPPY FOR YOU, FRIEND.
Carla
That's fantastic news!!!
And who knows, being super-conscious about any negative body-image stuff you might pass on to your daughter may be just the thing to help you feel more secure yourself. It's funny how we're so much more conscious of how ridiculous negative thinking is when someone else is the "victim", but accept all kinds of self-criticism if it's directed at us.
Hooray!!! I'm really excited for you.
Congratulations!
Here's to a healthy, stress-free, and smooth remainder for you. Congrats on the girl! I know I was thrilled about having a girl first (2years) and then a boy (6 days ago); although, I have to admit, I was gunning for another girl only because I know what I was like as a boy growing up and I didn't want to have to deal with it. Not my choice, however. You're going to be a great mom to that baby girl. And I wouldn't worry about the "self hate" or "passing things on" issue; from my experience, my wife was worried that she wouldn't be a good mom to her and would pass on all sorts of bad things to her. It's all a roll of the dive, though, since my daughter is quite the girly girl and my wife is definitely not. I wonder if she gets that from me? Wait…what?
CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will do fine & the baby girl will be wonderful. Follow MizFit's advice on teaching that baby girl how beautiful she is just for being her! Operation Beautiful too! Even though we may not feel it ourselves, and I am one of them, maybe we can still pass on love of thyself to the children!
Congrats!
That's wonderful, Charlotte!!
Congratulations!
Congrats from the mom of 2 girls – they are just wonderful (as I am sure are boys, if I had them) and as you said, the most important thing is that she is healthy (and so are you).
Congratulations! I am so happy for you. As the mom of a girl I try hard to spare her my body image issues, I can only hope I succeed.
Congratulations 🙂 And just think, this is a wonderful opportunity to teach her to have good body image and self esteem.
Joshua, congrats to you, too!
Congrats! A healthy baby girl is great news! And, hey, everyone's got issues. My momma had a PLETHORA of issues and I turned out ok. Well, you read my blog, you can judge that I guess, and be worried accordingly. 🙂
CONGRATULATIONS!! How exciting! 😀
And as for the body-image stuff, my guess is that you'll be so aware of it, that you'll pass on less than you're worried about. (And who knows? In your efforts to help your daughter, you might end up helping yourself, too! :D)
Congratulations! I am also mom of 3 boys and a 10 wk old girl…I love reading your blog…I totally share your issues with raising a girl. And I'm with Kira-it is SO fun to have pink in the house!
Congrats on your healthy baby girl news!
Congrats!!
Super super thrilled for you.
And I think you will be an amazing mom to your daughter – you know all the pitfalls and you're stronger for it.
Congrats! It'll be really fun for you to have a girl after all those boys, and I bet she'll be so spoiled with 3 older brothers looking out for her!
Congrats on a beautiful baby girl!!!! 🙂
I'm so pleased for you! You'll be a great girl-mommy!
Oh Charlotte, I'm so happy for you!
You will make a wonderful mother for that baby girl, simply because you are so aware of your issues!
Congratulations, Charlotte.
Yay! A healthy baby girl! That's fantastic, Congratulations! Have fun buying pretty pink things 🙂 It's so much more fun buying girls clothes then boys!
Wonderful news!
Now… we did agree that Merry would make a great name, didn't we??? 😉
And no, you're not going to pass on any insecurities to your lovely daughter. She'll find her own, the way we all do. But she'll also know she's loved, which I think balances things out.
Congrats!!!!!
Glad she will have big brothers to protect her. Tease the crap out of her for a solid 15 years, but then protect her from boys who tease the crap out of her.
So happy for you.
Your description of a little girl with black pigtails nearly made ME cry!! I am sooo happy for you. I know that there is a lot more to you than your insecurities and body image issues. You are a genuine person. Sincere, and loving, hilariously witty, and confident (at least on the surface)! You've been through a lot in your life and have learned from it. Not to mention helping countless numbers of people along the way. You have so much going for you and I know you'll be an amazing mom to that little girl, just like you are to those adorable boys! Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Don't worry about her inheriting any issues you have: you are so aware of that so it probably won't happen. Also, you are in the perfect position to be able to identify any potential issues in her before they fully develop. So you might be in an even better position than if you hadn't had those issues in your past.
And you'll be able to give great advice if necessary.
Charlotte,
So so so excited for you. She's going to be beautiful…just gorgeous and you will be nothing but a wonderful mama to your little girl. 🙂
congratulations on a healthy baby girl!
HUUUUUUUGE HUGS CHAR!!! CONGRATS to you & your family! xoxo Muah!
Congrats Charlotte… how wonderful!
You are a highly self-aware, intelligent and funny lady… you'll do fine! And as somebody else said, she'll find her own insecurities– it's hard not to if you're observant and self-aware! However, you can be there to let her know that we all have those insecurities, and show her how to deal with them. Just like we deal with fears, rational or not.
My 16 year old daughter, senior in high school this year, turned out pretty darn good… if I do say so myself! Of course she's a lot smarter and cooler than I am!
Congratulations!
I'm sure you'll do great. At least you are dealing with your issues in a healthy way (yay internet!). I think issues are no so much a problem as not dealing with them. Every one has issues but I think mother who do not deal with them are more likely to have a negative impact and mother who deal with them in a healthy way are more likely to have a positive impact.
Yay, for a baby girl!!!
We share similar fears about raising a girl–will all of my neuroses and self-hate rub off on my daughter? Will she learn to grimace every time she looks in the mirror, too? Will she equate her self-worth with three numbers on a scale?
I don't want to be responsible for passing any of that on to my daughters.
I agree with Katieo–write down your resolution, put it someplace where you will see it everyday.
We will not pass on self-hate to our daughters.
*hug*
You're already a good mama to your boys–you'll be just as good with your daughter.
(and? i love your nose. it's beautiful and unique)
OMG! Mazaltov! That is simply amazing news. You've made my day 🙂
I have been out of the loop all summer being busy with vacations and family….so now I can say Congrats!! I am so excited for you and your family.