Breathing. It’s your basic bodily function, right? So easy even newborns can do it? Not me, apparently. Oh sure, I managed to survive to adulthood despite, when I was 7, being 100% sure that I was going to stop breathing in my sleep but things got trickier as a grown-up. I don’t know if I forgot how to breathe properly or if I never knew but either way air and I have a rough history.
The first time I remember noticing not being able to breathe was at the State Science Fair – oh yes, I was that geeky – and my homemade (with LEGOs!) magnetic-levitation train was up for Grand Champion. There I was sitting in my green velvet drop waist dress with the lace collar and matching velvet scrunchie when all of a sudden it happened. At first I just felt really hot. Then nauseous. And then I couldn’t breathe. So I did what every child should do when they can’t get air in their lungs – I ran to the bathroom to be alone, ostensibly to die alone too. Instead I got diarrhea. And then I threw up. After that everything was kosher and I marched up on that stage to get my ribbon like nothing had ever happened.
That was my first IBS attack.
IBS, or irritable bowel syndrome, is the label they give you when you have excruciating stomach pain and they can’t figure out what’s wrong with you. It’s a label I wouldn’t get for many years though. Before I knew what to call them, I just called them “my attacks.” I had them all throughout middle and high school, even making a trip to the ER on the eve of my first homecoming dance to get rehydrated due to all the pukeage. (I probably don’t need to explain this but there would be no kissing that night.) Over and over again, I’d get the hot flashes, nausea, diarrhea and vomiting. Occasionally I’d even faint just to keep everyone on their toes. At the time I chalked it up to food poisoning or dehydration or a too-constrictive hemp choker – but it never once occurred to me that it was psychosomatic.
The attacks peaked in graduate school. My youngest sister had just died, I’d gotten married three weeks after that, moved, was still being stalked by the boyfriend who had assaulted me and I was in my last semester of grad school where I was both taking classes and had a teaching assistantship. Oh, and I had my first miscarriage. Stress doesn’t even begin to describe it. That semester I think I was in the ER almost every weekend. I tried every pill on the planet – anxiolytics, anticonvulsants, antiemetics, antispasmodics and enough pain pills to fell Ferdinand – but all I got was loopy. (Want to know how they make you take pills when you’re throwing up every 5 minutes? In the backdoor. Uh huh. Help me with my suppository honey? Welcome to newly wedded bliss!) And yet there I was on the day of graduation giving my valedictory address with hospital tape still on my arm from my ER trip the night before. Nothing worked. Nothing.
And that was the worst part of it. I felt doomed to a lifetime of surprise pain attacks that would bring my whole life to a screeching halt and would only end when I either passed out or was drugged out. Finally a doctor sat me down and gave me the dreaded life sentence: IBS. He explained that it just meant that the peristalsis in my intestines got out of whack when I got stressed or ate the wrong kind of food (he specifically forbade grease and peppermint), the muscles working against each other until I felt like I’d swallowed glass. Nobody really knew what caused it or why some people had it worse than others. There was no cure. Although he did give me about 20 prescriptions with which to dose myself every day.
“Isn’t there anything else I can do?” I wailed, imagining the rest of my life as an intermittent invalid.
He shrugged, “Find a way to relax. You need to learn to just chill out.”
I don’t “just chill out”. No, I like to work myself into a nice frothy frenzy! So at first his advice was as cryptic as if he’d told me to “just sing opera”. I didn’t know how to do it. I didn’t have the skills. But I was determined to learn. I chucked the pills in the toilet (Dear environment, please accept my sincerest apologies for dumping toxic waste into you. In the meantime, enjoy the Vicodin. Everyone else sure seems to.) and signed up for yoga.
I’d taken yoga before with my sister in high school and enjoyed it. Although then we did it more for man-watching purposes (Helloooo Brian Kest!) than for any intrinsic value. But I knew yoga was supposed to be relaxing and I was terrified of pain so in I went. We spend the first ten minutes sitting on our mats single nostril breathing. That is exactly what it sounds like: taking turns holding one nostril shut – with your thumb, that part’s important! – and breathing in and out through the other nostril while counting. It was like Sesame Street but you weren’t allowed to eat your boogers at the end.
But then I noticed something. My heart had slowed down. The crease between my eyebrows wasn’t there. I wasn’t gritting my teeth together. I was actually relaxing. Just by breathing. Over the course of several years and yoga teachers I learned many things about breathing from yoga. I learned that there are different ways to inhale and different ways to exhale. I learned to breathe deeply while moving. And, most importantly, I learned how to breathe through pain. It takes a lot of practice to regulate one’s breathing when one is hurting but it can be done and I was learning it.
My husband even learned it so that at first he could help remind me how to breathe. When I felt the onset of an attack, I’d lay on my side with him cradled around me and he’d count for me. “One, two, three, hold. One, two, three, release.” Over and over again until the pain subsided. And subside it did. Eventually I got to the point where I could do it myself – I didn’t even need to lay in a dark, quiet room! I could even do it while driving! I got my life back. It was a miracle.
I tell you this story because I often hear people debating whether or not yoga counts as a “real” workout. First I must say that your level of exertion – if that is what you measure a “real” workout by – depends entirely on the type of yoga class you are taking. A gentle Hatha class will not get your heart rate up much. Bikram and Vinyasa classes are definitely challenging and then there are the hybrid classes like Power Yoga or Fitness Yoga or Yoga Strength or PiYo that have been some of the hardest classes I’ve ever done. In addition to giving you a good burn, yoga is excellent for stretching out tight hams, releasing tension from shoulders and loosening hips. Why is it important to be flexible? Cosmic implications aside, it’s good because it helps prevent and rehab from injury. With that out of the way, however, what I really want to say is that it doesn’t matter to me if yoga gives good workout – to me, yoga is a life skill. It’s a way of learning to be quiet and to trust and, most of all, to breathe. I’m in love with yoga.
And – in one of the gosh darn funniest clips I have ever seen – here is another way exercise can save your life:
Remember ladies, if you are threatened by a rogue gang of central-casting creeps, you should back-layout them to death. Because “That’s some superhero action, yo!”
Has exercise ever saved your life? Anyone else ever had IBS? Can’t breathe? Tell me all about it!
PS> That whole “breathing through the pain” thing? Didn’t help me at all during childbirth. Nope.
Yeah, the deep breathing and self-hypnosis didn't help me during childbirth, either.
But it DID help me get rid of my anxiety attacks, and it DOES help me to relax and to get in tune with myself.
I love yoga, too. During my yoga teacher training last weekend I felt invigorated and refreshed, even though I'd come in feeling exhausted and cranky.
Yoga helps me appreciate my body, rather than try to punish it. That's worth more than all the "lose weight fast!" products out there combined.
exercise has save my DAUGHTERS LIFE.
she just doesnt know it yet 🙂
those 25 minutes on the stationary bike in the morning make mama emerge as a far more mellow…mama.
(no, Im not joking)
and yoga?
it was on my AFTER BLOGHER I WILL list.
and yoga?
ITS ON MY AFTER FRIDAY I SHALL LIST 🙂
I don't seem to find time for yoga but I can certainly see why it's valuable!
So glad it helped with the IBS, that sounds like such an awful thing to deal with.
Learning to breathe is very important! I don't do yoga poses very often but breathing/meditating sessions really help me with my anxiety and insomnia. Breathing trumps sleeping pills every time in my book. To me it also seems more I do it, the more it works. At first I had to meditate in the dark for 15 minutes or more to relax but now I can do it a few minutes anywhere, even in a crowded and loud room 2 minutes before a final exam. Plus, it's free – I learned everything from the internet and invented my own visualization to go with the pre-exam breathing. I swear it helps my scores and memory!
I'm a huge fan of yoga. I'd like to say that while it's about the calming benefits, for me I also know that it does burn more calories than sitting on the couch, which is generally what I tell people who claim it's not a good workout.
First: I clicked the drunk yoga pose link and thank you; I'm about to go into a meeting I don't want to be in and that just made my morning.
Second: IBS is no fun at all. While I don't suffer directly from it, I get ringside seats to it in my house all the time. Stress is a huge factor.
Third: Exercise saving lives? Absolutely. I have mitral and tricuspid valve prolapse (weak heart valves that palpitate and cause backflow of blood into the heart) and allergy-induced asthma. At one point I'd dropped almost 50 pounds and kicked the cardio into high, high gear four-five times per week. It increased my lung capacity and seriously minimized the palpitations. Now that I have two kids and have become a little complacent (can't imagine how that happens), I gained some back and right on cue, the same problems crept back up. Time to get back on the bike (bad knees=can't run) and get back to yoga.
I'm a fan of yoga, and other meditative techniques!
So sorry for those IBS struggles, Charlotte!
Your descriptions of IBS? Makes me wonder if that's what I had as a kid. I used to go into stores and within 15 minutes, would get hot and sweaty and dizzy and need to go to the bathroom NOW!! Not a pleasant experience for either me or my mother!
As an asthmatic, I never take breathing for granted. Yoga was amazing for me and I'm not sure why I stopped it. Need to put that on my when-I-move-and-get-settled list.
And thanks for the yoga laugh – I have 2 people laughing with me at the office already and I intend to share!
Long time reader, first time commentator. Charlotte, love your blog! It's awesome. And this post reminds me that I need to do yoga more regularly. I was just wondering if you've ever been tested for celiac disease? Apparently (I am no expert just a googler) IBS sufferers often have celiac disease as well! Just thought I'd throw the idea out there, as anything that would seem to alleviate IBS symptoms, which sounds terrible, might be useful.
~Karen
This sounds just like my wife. She started yoga a few years ago and its made a tremendous difference in her quality of life. She has far fewer migraines and back problems now. We believe she has IBS as well. Thursday she goes for a colonoscopy to be certain.
Azusmom – Yeah, I did all the hypnobirthing courses and everything! I still thought I was going to die.
Nathalie – I used to do that before exams too! Glad you figured out what works for you.
Joshua – Heh, those drunk yoga pics had me laughing for days. Glad to share! And I had no idea about your heart/asthma issues! They do say that exercise is fabulous for asthma although from what I understand it hurts more and is harder for asthmatics than non?
Gemfit – Oh yay! I hope you and many others laugh as hard as I did. There are some seriously creative folks out there!
Stabs – back in college I was tested for Celiac's and it came back normal. I have since tried taking out grains on my own and have found it doesn't help me. For some people, their IBS is very tied to what they eat. Mine seems to be more stress-based than anything else (although to this day I can't eat a plate of buffalo chicken wings unless I plan on spending the next hour in the bathroom.)
Greg – Good luck to your wife! It is SO hard going through all those tests and trying to figure out where exactly the pain is coming from. She has all my empathy. And it sounds like she's a lucky woman to have you around to help her!
My daughter and i both have IBS and yep learning to de-stress through lifestyle and exercise does work. It's not gone but it's a lot better!!
Exercise saved my life (in conjunction with the wonders of modern medicine, of course).
A year ago I was using a cane about 50% of the time due to psoriatic arthritis. I started working out with water aerobics at first. Then added spinning. Then some real aerobics. Then yoga–with a very compassionate and helpful instructor to accommodate my range of motion issues.
After about 6 months, I needed the cane less and less. I haven't needed the cane for almost a year now. My mental state is better. Life is good.
gah. That should have said year and a half ago.. Time for more coffee since I obviously can't do simple math today…
Probably the main thing that stumps me in exercise is breathing. Most of the time I can keep going except that my lungs can't handle it.
That's why yoga is AWESOME.
Your post is the third time I've heard about the single nostril breathing in the last 2 and a half weeks. Perhaps the Universe is trying to tell me something. Or not. Has exercise every saved my life…nothing as dramatic as that super-cheese clip from YouTube, I'm afraid. I'd like to think taking the time almost every day to exercise will extend my life, though.
Also, why haven't you had your memoirs published yet? They would be fascinating.
Charlotte, you have had more events in your 30ish years than most people have in a lifetime…
… and I'm starting to realize that I probably need some yoga in my life.
I really want to like yoga, but I just don't have the attention span for it.
Exercise hasn't saved my life yet, but I'm hoping all this triathlon/marathon training is going to save me in the zombie apocalypse. 🙂
I also have IBS- have suffered for 20 years with it. I can pretty much work myself into an attack just by being afraid I will have one. No one seems to know what this is like unless you suffer from it.
Recently I discovered that new probiotic – spendy, but seems to be helping me. That along with simple fiber pills. After all the doctors and misery it seems those two items have helped more than any drug I have tried over the years.
Now if I could just learn to relax and breath! That is the tough part for us type-A people! Yoga is sure worth a try.
Love your blog- you are so great at writing.
Thanks- Rhonda
I love yoga. I especially love the Rodney Yee DVD "Power Yoga." It's slow enough to be meditative, and slow enough that I don't really FEEL like I'm working out . . . but I'm always sore somewhere the next day.
That DVD also increased my running time A LOT. I did it during a time when I couldn't run (knee injury), and when I went back to running, I could go twice as far, twice as fast – even though I hadn't been running at ALL for a few months!
Wild.
Spunkysuzi – Glad to hear you guys are getting better! IBS truly is miserable.
Disgruntled Ladye – that is one of the most amazing exercise-saved-my-life stories I've ever heard. Hoooray for no cane!
recipesforcreativity – that may be the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! I actually do have a book deal in the works & will let you know more when I get the specifics.
Be warned tho – the single nostril breathing feels really lame at first. Seriously.
Stace – Thanks! I think? I don't know that I've necessarily experienced more but just seem to talk about it more? Chronic oversharers unite!
Linteater – zombie apocalypse + my lunch = splattered monitor. Thanks for the LOL!
Rhonda – I am SO glad you brought up the probiotics. I found those very helpful as well (and yes, the good ones are very expensive but SO worth it). Fiber has the opposite effect on me though but my IBS was the diarrhea variety and it sounds like yours is the constipation kind. Glad things are looking up for you! It really is a miserable condition.
Marste – I too adore the Yee. But tell me: how do they keep the sand from sticking to his speedo-ed butt?? I mean he's all oiled up, doing boat pose IN THE SAND and yet nothing sticks? Do they have a designated butt brusher??
I recognize the stretchy goodness of yoga so I begrudgingly do a little each week. Less begrudgingly in the morning because it helps me wake up to a mellow and centered day but if I put it off – I'm just waiting for the end of it so I can do something else.
I really do suppose I should try a real yoga CLASS instead of just my Yourself!Fitness 15-20 min randomly generated yoga workout before judging though…
Exercise is my sanity this summer. It is the only hour of the day when I am not constantly interrupted by my sweet but demanding 3 kiddos.
I have tried yoga at home. Learning to concentrate on my breathing while meditating has been a great help for my anxiety attacks.
My daughter's first grade teacher taught them to take "chicken soup breaths" (imagine blowing on hot chicken soup) when they got upset or needed to settle down. I have used that at home quite a bit as it is such a great tool for kids to have.
When I was a teenager my mom diagnosed me with IBS. When we went to the doctor he said, "If the first place you look for in a restaurant is the bathroom then you probably have IBS." Well, that was me. His advice? Cut out the caffeine. I did and haven't had an attack in years. In fact, foods I thought I was allergic to (like mushrooms and tomatoes) no longer produce the running-to-the-bathroom effect. I think I must have just always accompanied them with caffeine!
I think I'm going to check out the Rodney Yee Power Yoga DVD. I like the idea of starting my day with yoga. I can't face the thought of starting my day with intense cardio but yoga doesn't sound too bad 🙂
When I was a teenager my mom diagnosed me with IBS. When we went to the doctor he said, "If the first place you look for in a restaurant is the bathroom then you probably have IBS." Well, that was me. His advice? Cut out the caffeine. I did and haven't had an attack in years. In fact, foods I thought I was allergic to (like mushrooms and tomatoes) no longer produce the running-to-the-bathroom effect. I think I must have just always accompanied them with caffeine!
I think I'm going to check out the Rodney Yee Power Yoga DVD. I like the idea of starting my day with yoga. I can't face the thought of starting my day with intense cardio but yoga doesn't sound too bad 🙂
When I was a teenager my mom diagnosed me with IBS. When we went to the doctor he said, "If the first place you look for in a restaurant is the bathroom then you probably have IBS." Well, that was me. His advice? Cut out the caffeine. I did and haven't had an attack in years. In fact, foods I thought I was allergic to (like mushrooms and tomatoes) no longer produce the running-to-the-bathroom effect. I think I must have just always accompanied them with caffeine!
I think I'm going to check out the Rodney Yee Power Yoga DVD. I like the idea of starting my day with yoga. I can't face the thought of starting my day with intense cardio but yoga doesn't sound too bad 🙂
Man, you have gone thru some sh*t! And survived! A testament to you!
I don't do yoga BUT I do have a form of IBS & I do stress…. I best think about that!
Exercise.. has it saved my life.. every day it saves my life! And it has help me thru too many family deaths…
Great video!
I have mild IBS which always comes along with stress and eating too much junk food (the two of which usually come together!). I have fainted twice, luckly that is very rare for me, though the last time it happened, I hit my head on the corner of our ceramic bathtub. Ouch!
Anyhow, it sucks. It really sucks when it happens when you have a small child and are rolling around the floor in pain. You know it will pass, but in the meantime, your child is wondering why mommy is rolling naked on the floor groaning and then running back to the bathroom.
My family has a history of colon problems, so I expect that my IBS is related to that and I will be getting regular bum tube checks once I get to be 40 (I'm in Canada so it's covered by the government). I'm not looking forward to those, but they could end up saving me even worse pain.
I'm hoping to one day have time to take a yoga class. Maybe after next baby is in school….but that will be 4 years from now! My DH travels a lot for work so signing up for evening and weekend classes can get tricky.
Anyhow, thanks for the tip on breathing, I'll definetly remember next time!
i will say, Drunk Yoga Pose #1 (plow) nearly RUINED my life-that is what put me over the edge before my bulging disk erupted. Boo.
I love dance, tho, and I have to say, Last Night a DJ Saved My Life. 🙂
Erin – good advice about the caffeine! I've never had it trigger an attack for me but my doctor said it does for a lot of people. Although I avoid it anyhow as I'm a highly anxious person as it is and the last thing I need is a stimulant, lol!
Jody – Give the yoga a try! I was skeptical at first too but it does really help.
Patricia – sounds like you and I are in the same boat, kids wise! My tummy baby won't be in kindy for, oh, 5 years;) Can you find a gym/studio with child care? That's made all the difference for me!
neversaydiet – I actually thought of you when I posted that pic:) I'm glad your neck is doing better these days! Now if you can just get your wrists all healed up…
Great post Charlotte. It's amazing how much focusing on breath affects our well being. I honestly think that many people (myself included) have simply forgotten how to breathe.
I love that you love yoga…me too. 🙂
I almost refrain from telling you this, but since it's so much to watch (read) you over analyze things, I've been told to watch out for IBS as a symptom for ovarian cancer. Now that's merely due to my family history of that, but you be sure to let me know if you get your CA-125 tested and a C/T scan, k? We'll satirize about it later, maybe go on the road.
Per your actual question, after my knee surgery, I am prone to major pain and crippled gimp status if I do not do my squats almost every day. Now that my back is injured, I can't squat. What's a girl to choose?!
I can relate to feeling the stress in the gut. I'm glad to know that yoga can help. Really.
And speaking as one of those clueless people who questioned whether yoga was useful — sometimes a question is a cry for enlightenment! I heard from so many people who praised yoga that I decided to give it a good try for a few weeks and see what happens. Sound like it can only help 🙂
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