Personal Trainer to Gym Buddy Allison and I: You wouldn’t believe it, this morning this guy had his wife in here to get her body fat measured. But get this – he said he was training her and wasn’t going to let up until she reached… five percent body fat!
Allison and I: *B horror movie gasp* Was he kidding?
PT: No, he was very serious.
Me: What’s she at now? (Thinking perhaps she was a competitive body builder and he was the Ike to her Tina.)
PT: 35% Plus, she’s 38 years old. He’s got her working out 3-4 hours a day.
Me: What’s he at?
PT: Dunno, he didn’t want to be tested.
Me: Of course he didn’t.
Allison: Does he work out?
PT: If you can call it that. He takes two hours to do two exercises. One chest press, rest 11 minutes. Two chest press, rest 11 minutes… you get the idea.
All of which begs some interesting questions:
1. Does he want to stay married?
2. Is he trying to kill her?
3. Has he ever seen a woman at 5% body fat?
Elvira says she’s at 7% here. I’m just saying.
How Low Can You Go?
Despite our society’s well-documented obsession with thinness, body fat is not like doing the Limbo. In fact, my gym’s body fat chart actually says less than 16% is “excellent”. So 0% would be ultra-excellent, right? As long as your definition of excellent is dead.
Body fat is necessary for survival. Our internal organs are cushioned with fat. Our nerves are coated with a myelin sheath made out of fat. Men need a minimum of 3% body fat for survival while women need a minimum of 10%. Anything lower than that and your body starts to break down, even to the extent of cannibalizing your heart muscle.
In women, amenorrhea (the cessation of menstruation) occurs somewhere between 7 and 14% although a woman with very good nutrition can go somewhat lower and still keep her periods. From my personal (ahem) experience, I lose mine around 12-13%. Amenorrhea leads to calcium loss and osteoporosis, not to mention fertility problems.
In addition, there are several other inconvenient side effects:
– You have no boobs. Boobs (men take note) are made up of fat. There is always silicone but without some subcutaneous fat they will just look like grapefruit halves wedged under your skin.
– You are cold all the time. Fat keeps you warm. That’s what it’s there for. You and me baby, we ain’t nothing but mammals!
– You have skeletal pain due to the loss of padding between your bones and hard surfaces. I have never experienced this but according to a bodybuilder friend of mine, when he was at his lowest (4%) it was actually physically painful to walk barefoot. His words, “Those huge muscle-bound guys you see up there? Weak as kittens. After a competition half of them are going to walk off the stage and faint. You could beat up the other half.”
– You lose the hair on your head and gain hair (called lanugo) all over your body as it tries to keep itself warm.
Now Here’s a Funny Gym Story
Gym Buddy Allison and I come across this joker, “accidentally” whack him in the knee with an olympic weight bar, and then while he’s distracted whisk his wife away to the nearest battered women’s shelter. And then – this is the funny part – make him work out 3-4 hours a day until he can’t walk.
I’m all for helping someone get healthy (as long as they are asking for your help, that is) but this guy’s technique was certainly lacking. What do you do to help your spouse/child/friend/pet make healthy choices?
That's horrible. I had a friend who's husband wasn't even that unreasonable, yet we all rejoiced when she dumped his sorry butt. I hope she finds the self worth to tell him to treat her better or hit the road.
I like your version better though 🙂
Wow, what a guy, huh? I make healthy meals and try to exercise with my honey.
My cat simply refuses to go pump iron with me. I finally gave up on her and now all she does is nap! (puh!)
Re. other members of the familia…I try not to be preachy or annoying. I invite them to join me hike or bike, but I don't force anyone- I was on the other side of that coin and it's not fun…
I lost my period (and boobs) at about 16% and was freezing all the time too. Funny, I never felt that thin though. Normal (there's that word again) maybe but not skinny :-/ Now I'm back up at 21 or 22. 5% is not even possible- that guy's just a boob.
Thanks for the post!
WOW is all I can say! He is friggin crazy! I did armature bodybuilding in my late 30's & never lost my period & my body fat got pretty low. I never had it measured but it was obvious & I won so…. no drugs!!!!
This: "You lose the hair on your head and gain hair (called lanugo) all over your body as it tries to keep itself warm." Well, age hormones have done that to me! 🙂
OK, how to help friends/family etc.. I tell them to learn from my mistakes: You can eat too few calories, you can eat too little healthy fat, you can eat too little protein, you can actually lose weight, gain muscle & lose clothes sizes by eating more. I am a living example of that.
I tell them to take baby steps & don't overdo at first or you can get injured or burn out. I tell them that patience & consistency are key along with being accountable to yourself & DO NOT lie to yourself. I tell them to set realistic short & long term goals so as not to set themselves up for failure.
I tell them we are not all alike & you have to stay consistent to understand what is right for you. Find food & exercise that you can live with for life.
I say for me, once I learned I can treat myself here & there & not gain 5 pounds, it all was good! Denying myself just set me up for wanting it more.
Slow down & realize it takes time to get off what it took time to put on and most of all, believe in yourself!
OK, there is more but I got carried away.. SORRY!
ow! wow amazing muscle ,i think she really work out for that. Keep up the good work! 🙂
fith
Hahaha that picture just made my day. Thanks for the laugh!
LOVE that first picture!
That woman doesn't need a personal trainer, she needs a good divorce lawyer!
wow.
I quietly try to lead by example and (caution bragging ahead ;)) it's working.
40 pounds from husband GONE working and I like to think its 60% because I never said a word and 40 🙂 because he has the same motivation as I: our daughter.
Wow. That is TERRIBLE. Really terrible. What I don't understand is how a husband can seriously try to force his wife into that kind of workout routine driven by that ridiculous a goal. It's disgusting and if I were friends with that woman or if I knew her and she told me he had her working out 3-4 hours a day with the hope she will achieve 5% bodyfat, I would tell her she needs to stand up to him and tell him to stick that exercise schedule up his a$$.
Did the personal trainer that met with them set that idiot straight? Did he mention the wife's attitude towards all this?
I wouldn't worry too much about this woman, because most people wildly underestimate body fat, plus they overestimate their time spent exercising.
I've seen people claiming to be at 11% who NO WAY are they below 20%.
Also, how does he enforce that 3-4 hours of working out? Either:
a. He has to be there all the time. (Which I doubt.)
or
b. She says "Bye, honey, I'm off for my 4 hour workout." and then she hits the mall.
I forgot option c: She kills him.
I've found the best way with…well…everyone in my house (I love you, wife of mine) is to lead by example. I make (mostly) healthy meals, as I do all the cooking. And since I can't force anyone in the house to exercise (again, I love you, wife of mine), the only way I can motivate is to do it myself and hope it catches on. I was reading a study a few days ago about how children who see/watch their parents exercise will be more inclined to be active while they are growing up and will continue to be active later. That's the best I can hope for with them all.
This reminds me of the psychological saw, "When a woman is depressed, she thinks she's fat. When a man is depressed, he thinks his wife is fat!" 🙁
I try and make sure BK's meals are nutritionally balanced (which is tough, because I'm not sure how some foods affect him, but his attitude is "food is food"), and will always go to the gym with him when he thinks he has to after work. Even if I've done my workout. Because refusing to go would mean that hedecides to either sweat alone on a treadmill for a while, or stay home and snuggle and watch TV. It's not much of a choice, and I'd hate to be in that position, so I go and walk on a treadmill, and then have a cookie when we get home.
I am stunned by this man's apparent lack of good sense. In terms of encouraging healthy behavior in my friends and family, I do two things. The first is that I lead by example – eating right and having a regular workout routine/schedule. The second thing is that I invite them to join me on long walks, hikes, trips to the gym, even to lift weights. And it is working, my husband has lost and kept off 20 pounds since we started dating (1.5 years ago) and my SIL is working out three times a week after not doing anything for 5 years.
I'm the one in our household in need of losing some pounds.
The best way my husband can motivate me is by:
a: not comment on my food since this will annoy me and drain me of all good will, my body – my choice
b: help me out by making sure when it is his turn to cook, dinner is ready early enough for me being able to go exercising afterwards (without throwing up)
c: positive enforcement -> he bought me an ipod to make working out more fun 🙂
d: emphasize health, not appearance. Nagging about appearance pisses me off like you would not believe. There are far more important things in life.
I'm grateful for all the advice above – I'm moving in with my fiance in a few weeks and he's really uncomfortable about his weight and his body at the moment. I don't want to be the nagging wife-to-be but I want to encourage him to be health and active so everything I'm reading in the comments is so helpful.
Having had a mother who tried to push me into losing weight, I reacted by eating worse (way to rebel!) and only got healthy when I was ready and I had support not nagging. This woman you saw, her husband is doing neither of them any favours.
Oy.
Good morning, Char! Miss you at the gym. Kick that pnumonia (sp?) outta here!
Anyway, what I can't believe is this came from our "Family-friendly" environment. It makes me sick there are idiots out there like that and makes me happy that I am single and not settling for a piece of $hit like that!
Not that. Yeeesh. I hope the trainer has a little sense to ask if they understand that 5% body fat is not a particularly desirable goal. I try to get us to eat at home as much as possible and we go on walks and work in the garden together. I can't even imagine being in a relationship with someone like that.
I usually just nag my husband 🙂 I keep thinking my lifestyle will rub off on him, but no luck yet!
Anyway, I really wanted to post to ask if you've read Moose yet. By Stephanie Klein. A memoir of fat camp. I got lots of laughs, but there were a lot of serious issues being discussed too 🙂
5%. Seriously? That's insane…I thought being below 12% was for elite athletes/crazy people only…
It's true about the fat being insulation. After losing weight I find I am chilly more often…it's the one part of the weight I miss…winters used to be so much warmer!
even a lot of female Olympic athletes, even the distance runners don't have much below 12% body fat, most bodies can't preform at their peak with too little body fat (BTW that level is different for everyone, person A may be able to be peak at 12% while person B may be at her peak with 17 or 18% and anything lower will make her worse, not better at her sport).
That guy, I'm hoping, just has no idea that 5% body ft is impossible (most likely) for his wife and most females in general, even the anorexic ones.
This is why I always say people are stupid.
I just got mine measured and it was 26.4% which is higher than I would like. However, I'm at my ideal body weight, training for a half marathon and feeling really great about my level of fitness, so screw it! Haha. I'd like to not have some of the fat that's hanging out on my tummy but to get rid of it, I'd have to lose weight to the point that the rest of me, especially my arms and chest, would be unattractively skeletal. It's just how I'm shaped.
I feel so sorry for that lady. I hope the Trainer told her and her husband that not only was that goal unreasonable, it's very unhealthy! Her hubby is a jerk!
As for skeletal pain, I've been there when I was much younger and in the grips of anorexia. It hurt to prop my feet up on a table. That seriously sucks!
As for healthy habits, my boyfriend and I are both into nutrition and fitness, but I have to say, I asked him to help me with weight lifting last night. (It's his favorite type of exercise and not so much mine.) I thought it was the best and sweetest thing that he took time to show me how he works out, explain what muscle groups we were working, spot me when I did chest presses, and help me on my form. I am incredibly weak compared to him, but at the end of the workout I felt awesome and like I'd accomplished something even though I didn't life huge weights. That's positive support!
Sounds to me as though the only weight that woman needs to lose is the 175 lbs of male weighing her down.
One wonders what her attitude toward this is?
that man sounds like a moron. I hope someone measures him and them slaps him in the head with a free weight.
I just had to pop in to comment on this one today because it's been on da brain this week already, about helping our children maintain healthy weights. Recently I drew the connection between parental duties to include that in a more inflexible way. We have no qualms about demanding discipline and self respect in areas like education and homework, civic responsibility, religion, interpersonal relationships, yet we wishy-washy around with their relationship to food. Frankly, it's irresponsible. We don't worry we'll give our kids a "complex" about school, yet many of us do, by incorrectly enforcing homework time. Yet we let our fear of the "fat girl complex" prevent us from taking an active part in this area of a child's health education. As with anything else, when approached with love, genuine interest in their education and welfare, allowing appropriate choices and trust, you can fill in the blank for whatever concept you're trying to teach, weight and food included. It's our responsibility. Let's stop pansy dancing around it!
I try and lead by example. I'm sorry, but that guy sounds like a total ass-hole.
I know of a woman who was in a similar situation. She lost a LOT of weight. Amazingly it built her self-esteem to the point that she was able to realized what was happening. She dumped him and is a much better person for it. I hope this lady clues in. Getting healthy because you want to is one thing, doing it because of someone else' expectations is ridiculous.
DOING IT TOGETHER. If people want some help in getting into shape, I don't dictate to them what they should do. I give them suggestions and offer that we BOTH do it. It's way more fun if everyone's participating and learning and getting more fit together.
I can't believe this guy would do it, and she would let him do it, and other people around aren't objecting. Grrrr.