On our honeymoon, my husband discovered something shocking about me – something he never saw coming. (And that folks, is officially the worst opening line to a post I’ve ever written!) No it was not a vestigial tail or third nipple. Rather, this is how we started our first day of wedded bliss together:
Him: You ready to go?
Me, eyes glued to the TV screen: Just a sec.
Him: Wait, what are you watching? Is that… MTV?!
Me: Yeah, it’s The Real World reunion.
Him: The what?
Me: Shhhh!
Him: Don’t you want to go to the beach?
Me: Just give me 37 minutes.
Him: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Being poor – and very busy – college students we never watched TV which is why he never knew that the girl he committed to spend the rest of eternity with was harboring a secret penchant for crap TV.
Most people assume when the husband and I tell them that we don’t watch TV or movies (it’ll be 3 years come January!) that it’s due to some well thought out moral stance. Um, no. The real reason is a) we’re both too ADHD to sit still for an entire show, much less a movie and b) crap television sucks me in like a vortex. (It probably stems from the same personality flaw that makes it impossible for me to walk by a People magazine without at least looking at the cover.) There are 2 exceptions to the no-TV rule: BBC documentaries and anything involving dancing.
It was the latter weakness that got me today at the gym (Yes, I went. All I did was walk. No, there was no more bleeding. But I suppose that tells you how well I’m doing with the no exercise prescription. More on that ball of anxiety and tears in another post.) I was drawn like a Kardashian to a camera crew to our brand new treadmills. They have built-in TVs. There’s even a headphone jack so I don’t have to share my terrible taste with the rest of the Gym Buddies. And sure enough, they get MTV!
Did you know they have a show called America’s Best Dance Crew? It has Randy Jackson! And Mario Lopez! (Albeit with his shirt on, ladies.) And crazy hip hop dance crews that make Step It Up look gangsta! I mean seriously, check out who won:
They have SEQUINED PANTIES with ARM WARMERS and BOOTIES and a MICHAEL JACKSON GLOVE! And check out the dance that goes with those costumes! How can you not LOVE THAT?And then after that, MTV’s True Life came on. I won’t say it is particularly true to life but is sure fascinating! They had two pregnant girls! Both trying to decide if they should give their baby up for adoption! And then a girl who is a raving sports fanatic! Wheee! Next Gym Buddy Megan showed up and told me about her fave MTV show (see Mom, I’m not the only adult who still watches it!), Made, which got me so excited I got tingly.
Next thing I knew, I’d walked for an hour and forty-five minutes.
And this is why I don’t watch TV.
Any of you have a weakness for terrible television? What do you like to watch when you’re on the treadmill?
I see yer evolution of dance and raise you 1 (or should that be 4) laughing babies!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxUulGkLu4I
I just want to hand that man a bottle of water. I'd be tired after all that dancing!
Sara – We should do a YouTube's greatest hits lineup! Although that would mean somebody's def. getting rick-rolled;) Love those babies!!
That is a classic video.
I don't watch tv for an entirely different reason- when we ended up with about 4 different remote controls (all to get one picture from one box) and my hubby had to make me a flow chart we laminated and subsequently lost, I said forget it. So the truth is that I can't turn on the TV.
I absolutely ADORE In Touch magazine- I would read that or watch Extra if I could turn the tv on.
Have fun on your treadmill!
I do not want to admit how strong my love is for bad television. I had a boy break up with me once, giving one of the reasons as 'you like bad TV'. Obviously there were other issues, but I think it's telling that that was one that made the list.
Law school has made me seriously curtail my bad tv love though, just from lack of time. That being said, there's no way I'm giving up some of my favourite shows- I tend to save them all up for the weekend, and watch Next Top Model, Top Chef, Project Runway and Biggest Loser in a row. I feel like these shows probably exacerbate food/body issues, but they're just so entertaining.
I will say I do like some legit TV, but on the whole, it leans toward trashy.
Vh1 Tool Academy and Rock of Love. Horrible. Don't tell my husband.
Love the laughing babies, but am totally addicted to the baby dancing to Beyonce!
I also love crappy TV. "Tool Academy?" AWESOME! And, yes, I'll watch pretty much anything with dancing in it. (Is it just me, or is watching Tom DeLay dancing with Cheryl Burke REALLY bizarre?)
Also, soap operas are like onscreen train wrecks for me. I know I should look away, but I just can't!
seriously Charlotte. I'm still back at compulsive over-exercising post. I am in awe at your posting frequency. I can't keep up, woman. I have a jillion things to say about soccer-momming, competition, bad tv, pregnancy…and everything else.
but I'm going to bed. So I'll just say I loved this post, I think you're great. (ok one teensy little *actual* comment. Although I'm competitive when it comes to sports…I'm trying to be more chill about the kids not being amazing from the get-go like I thought my progeny would be.)
oh and bad tv:
what's that denise richards show? it's complicated or something lame like that? I hate it. Like, i HATE IT. but when I'm on the treadmill it's impossible for me to watch anything else. can't. turn. away.
good lord I could go on and on here.
lets just say BRAVO.
everything.
oooh and the reality show JOCKEYS.
seen it?
Treamill TRASHTASTIC.
I watch my step! I've seen some terrible falls on the treadmill, and at the pace I run, I don't want to join them 🙂
You need to see the VH1 reality shows. They're all a trainwreck, in their own special way.
And The Soup on E!, because it makes fun of talk and reality TV.
I think there must be some sort of gene for bad-tv appreciation, because I know so many really intelligent, sophisticated people who love it. (And I'm married to one).
Alas, I have the opposite reaction and become so judgmental and agitated I have to leave the room. In general, if there's a tv on and it's not one of the .00000002% of shows I'd want to watch, I want to run screaming for the door.
Fortunately, marriages between bad tv lovers and bad tv haters don't seem to be doomed, but there are some logistical issues involved.
Ugh we would be friends in real life! My DVR is so overloaded with crap TV I have DVR anxiety. How am I going to fit it all into my life! I stayed up way past my bedtime watching the newest Real World Reunion. I find myself saying over and over, "These people are ridiculous" and yet I refuse to change the channel (or go to bed!).
Glad to hear you stuck to walking and didn't face anymore bleeding! Praying for that little baby inside you!
I don't watch a lot of crap tv, but I do watch a lot of tv in general. And that was seriously one of my hesitations about going to business school. I'm not kidding!
Anyway, I had decided that I'd prolly end up following three shows or so…and then I gave in and watched some of the new shows premiere….and I'm still recording them. So far I can fit in everything, but damn it's gonna be hard to cancel shows on my DVR when push comes to shove. Up til now, whenever I'm home, the tv would be on (unless I'm sleeping, of course). Now I actually have to study!
I did watch a season of Big Brother, and that was a serious train wreck. Right now the only reality tv I watch is the Amazing Race and So You Think You Can Dance, which aren't that bad on the grand spectrum of reality tv.
ABCD ROCKS! Which is ironic to say about a hip-hop dance show, I know. So happy to finally see women take home the trophy – and not a b-boy crew in the finale.
Yeah, I watch "bad" tv – or reality tv- but I don't think of what I watch as the "bad" stuff: ABDC, Project Runway (which is getting dramatic enough to become bad tv); Top Chef, ANTM.
As to what I watch on the treadmill? My gym's tvs are locked on ESPN and CNN, so those are my picks.
I don't watch a lot of TV, but I absolutely adore What Not to Wear. I don't think it's super trashy, but it's not the best thing I could be doing with my time.
On the treadmill, trashy is best. My Super Sweet 16, Whose Wedding is it Anyway?, Say Yes to the Dress? How would I get through winter in WI without them?
I am hopelessly addicted to television. A couple of nights, right after school started, we went to bed without even turning the darn thing on and it was amazing. I told the Hubster, "You know, Charlotte doesn't watch T.V. We could give up T.V."
But the next night, I saw a commercial for one of my (many, many, many) favorite shows and blew that idea right out the window. Maybe next year?
On the treadmill, I like to watch sports or the Food Network…sounds counter productive, but really, it keeps me going. (Another few miles and I can HAVE that!)
Charlotte, you be careful and take care of yourself and that baby. ((Hugs))
Hi Charlotte,
I really enjoy your columns. This one was hilarious, and thank you for sharing.
I would be remiss if I did not say this, though: Please, do not exercise if your doctor said not to. Walking for an hour and 45 minutes despite no bleeding is still working out.
Best wishes for a speedy delivery and super fast recovery and, #1, a very healthy baby and momma,
Marisol (also a pregnant mom)
We've bitten half the bullet in getting rid of TV. First, I started TiVoing Gilad and Cathe Friedrich like crazy. Then, I canceled the over $100 package with all of my favorite channels in favor of the cheapest package available (we're tied into a contract until next month). No Mad Men or Flipping Out, or Real Housewives.
If we can find someone to buy our overpriced plasma, we're getting rid of the tube completely.
I'll wait for the post later but let me first say that I took 3 days off in a row this weekend and the world didn't end. I know, I was surprised too. I ran today for the first time in a week and a half and it was AMAZING to have my legs so fresh. Rest = good.
Now, onto the topic at hand. If I'm at the gym I am generally bored with the workout options I have at hand (I so prefer running outside/biking/DDR at home etc). When I'm bored I just push myself really really hard to the point where I can't concentrate on much of anything but my music. However on the rare occasions I do a mellow gym workout, I usually am at the gym during the simpsons, or if not, I watch HGTV.
As for bad TV – I'm so there. I DVR the biggest loser, so you think you can dance, america's next top model, project runway, and if there is a tv marathon on of just about anything I can totally get sucked in.
I have to confess that I can't turn off a crime show. Law and Order (any of them), Bones, NCIS, CSI (except Miami), Cold Case, if there's a cop and/or a prosecutor, I'm there. I can't turn on USA or TNT after work because I will NEVER TURN THEM OFF. Back to back crime shows for half the night. And even if I've SEEN the episode, I still can't look away. Do you think there's a 12-step group for us?
On the treadmill though, I need a show that has a little suspense. Bonus points for butt-kicking girls. Fringe, Alias, Lost and Buffy are my most recent treadmill addictions. (Because right about the time I'm getting tired, it's time to chase down the bad guy, so I get a second wind! I'm a little afraid that someday I'll get so wrapped up in the show that I'll accidentally yell, "Stop! Police!" in the middle of the gym one morning, though. THAT would be embarrassing!)
Too funny! Well, I warm up & then get moving & lots of points in my treadmill or other cardio machine workout may not allow me to watch anything too closely. I only have an iPod shuffle too so I can't hear the TV. I tend to watch easy to look at stuff like the news, FoodNetwork, Travel channel & things like that where I don't have to worry about missing anything since I do move at a decent pace that really doe snot allow for serious TV watching. The dance shows would work but I am limited to what is on at the crazy hour I am in the gym!
Trash TV, yeah, I watch some for sure!
I love crap tv. MTv, VH1, Bravo, Lifetime, pretty much anything! My hub makes fun of me all the time, but after working all day, then cooking dinner, lunches, bathes, etc…after the kids go to bed I want to be entertained with little or no thought required! 🙂
Yeah…there's some stuff I watch when my husband is at work, to escape the mockery! The sequined pink outfits from that MTV program sound perfect trach TV watching to me… 🙂
I find TV can suck all my time away so I tend to stay away from it except for a few shows…my weakness is home reno shows.
I'm a 39 yo woman who has watched every episode of The Real World that exists. Also-I watched Rock of Love all 3 times that Bret Michaels lined up the tragic train wrecks wearing questionable clothing choices. I will not however, watch 3 and a Half Men. I have standards…
When my motivation seems lacking, I turn off the iPod and its books on tape and swap the headphone over to the treadmill jack. When I was living in Utah, FoxNews had a 24 hour presence on the treadmill TV lineup. For me, the mental gymnastics it took to understand the logic in both the reporting commentary was enough to get me back in the game, buttressed by the high emotions I have about particular issues that might be disingenuously reported. Before I would hit my emotional 'point of no return' and throw my fellow runner's water bottle at the television screen, I would swap back the headphone jack and run happily at my new-found source of motivation and renewed confirmation bias.
I think this "technique" would work for whichever side of the couch you are on, be it FoxNews or MSNBC. 🙂
I actually watched that TV show the other day while chopping vegetables. That is high quality crap TV right there.
yes, i have a penchant for crappy tv … much of it on mtv. i <3 "america's best dance crew", "made", "my super sweet 16" and, as much as i really hate to admit it, "america's next top model" (which is more on oxygen but whatever that's besides the point). i also got sucked into vh1's "the surreal life" one summer.
*hides*
I get sucked in by that vortex, too. That's why I NEVER watch TV. I'd get sucked in so fast that blogging, work, school, and life would disappear from the radar!
i always get sucked into the crap vortex on MTV. (check out "16 and pregnant"! You'll never get those hours of your life back!)
I also love to watch Intervention.
I need an intervention from these shows! 🙂
I always hate to admit this, but I'm addicted to small-claims court shows. I went through a phase where I taped Judge Judy because it was on during work, just so I could watch it while on the treadmill at another point… I've tried to cut myself back – I only run home to watch People's Court during lunch once per week, and try to keep the TV off during the 6pm airing of another People's Court. My office does have a TV where I could watch this crap, but I prefer to keep this obsession hidden from my coworkers.
Also, I don't know if I commented earlier, but my thoughts are with you and baby. Please take care of yourself! I'm sure chasing kids is enough of a workout for you, no treadmill needed!
Okay, I just had some wierd deja vu as I was scrolling through the comments. Especially when I saw "Joshua" and began wondering what I had responded…because I didn't remember commenting yesterday. Then I realized it was some other Joshua, and I moved on.
When riding the stationary bike at home, I usually play video games to take my mind off the fact that I'm exercising. Lately, though, I've really gotten into "My Fitness Coach" for the Wii, so no television watching during that.
As a side note, I used to watch episodes of "The West Wing" at the Red Cross donation center while I was donating platelets. I would come in every fourth day, get hooked up, and watch "The West Wing" with the nurses. Back when I was unemployed, it was a nice, cheap break from looking for a job, with the added bonus of donating platelets. Of course, there was the time I about passed out when it was over and that's how we found out I have a heart thing. So much for donating platlets. Or blood ever again for that matter.