Picture source (click to enlarge – you want to see this one full size, trust me!)Art photo. That was my first thought when I saw this gorgeous picture: that the colors and the composition make it imminently wall worthy. I wanted to frame it and use it to decorate my suburban home that is full of greens and browns.
The irony of that first impulse is rich.
Because then I truly looked at this picture and saw her leg. My second thought: I could never hang it in my home. Not because it isn’t worthy of my Pottery-Barn-dream-by-way-of-IKEA aesthetic (yes, it’s as bad as it sounds) . But because my house is not worthy of this.
As a mom I worry about whether my childrens’ school lunches are too fattening or if my son’s soccer coach is turning him off organized sports or if one pair of snow boots will be enough to get them through a Minnesota winter or if we have enough health insurance to cover this next baby’s birth.
But this mother worries about if her child will have food at all. Or clothes. Or health care. Or safety. Or even, it seems, a mother.
As a woman I worry about whether I’m pretty enough or whether I’m accomplishing enough or if I’m safe enough in my very safe community. Lately I’ve been worrying about getting to exercise as much as I want.
As a woman she worries about… well, I won’t presume to ennumerate her worries. I’m afraid this picture says it all.
If I let my thoughts stop there, however, it will be a travesty. My broken-heartedness for this mother and her child, as sincere as it is, means nothing unless I act on it. But what can I do in the face of such suffering? (Surely all of us ask that question from time to time?) So tonight I gathered my children around me and told them that every day this week, starting today, we would consciously try to do one nice, out-of-the-ordinary, thing for someone else. It doesn’t have to be huge, just deliberate. And then we’ll report back at dinner time.
Tonight I made dinner for a friend’s family. My eldest son built a train track for his little brother so I could cook the meal. My second son helped my husband make the dessert. The third son? He ran around our legs in circles giggling and throwing non-sharp cooking implements around the kitchen.
The ache of the picture lessened a little.
Will you join our family dinner tomorrow night with your own story? What are the little ways you show kindness to other people? I’d love suggestions! (And – I have to ask – am I the only one who didn’t notice the woman’s leg at first??)
Wow! No, you're not the only one. The first thing I noticed was that the cute little guy is chewing on his foot.
I think what you and your family are doing is terrific! We'll be joining you!
(Apologies in advance for any rambling..I was liberal with my wine at dinner)
This is a particularly potent picture as I just had my Thanksgiving dinner with friends (remember that Canadian Thanksgiving is..well in October). Our host said to bring enough food for 20 people. Which means 20 people brought food for 20 people, meaning there was enough food for…400 people? Is that how it works?
Essentially we had at LEAST enough food for over 100 people, and enough wine for also over 100 people. There were about 40 people there. This all while that woman in Africa struggles to feed her children. I shun non-organic meats and choose organic for other food if possible, and this woman is struggling to just have SOME food…any food.
I feel horrible. Every once in a while you need something to pull you out of the materialistic life that is inherent in North America and it's culture.
I may be rambling a little bit…but it reminds me that when I am a lawyer (only 3 more years!), I will remember the luck and support that I have been gifted over the past 22 years…and give back as much as I can.
I am a kind and generous person, and I tend to give more than others, but it's good to remember how lucky we are…it puts life into perspective.
You may not have heard of him, but there is a writer (among other things) called Danny Wallace, who once inadvertently started a cult. Once people started joining his non-religious cult, he realised it needed to be about something. So he came up with the idea of doing random acts of kindness for strangers, just once a week, on a Friday.
Since then his "Karma Army" has grown exponentially worldwide — with millions of people just doing small, random acts of kindness for people they don't know.
It doesn't seem too far removed from what you talk about here.
As for the picture, without viewing full size I couldn't be sure what I was seeing with the leg, although I noticed something right away.
womenforwomen.org
One woman helping another woman.
With money, sure, but more than that with words of encouragement and motivation and LISTENING and friendship.
Wonderful idea! And the dinnertime reporting makes for a rich family experience too.
Sorry; I noticed the leg right away!
On the plus side, the little guy and his mom don't seem to be malnourished. He looks nice and healthy to me. He just happens to be in the mood to suck on his foot, kids are weird like that.
But, yeah, I'm constantly aware of how spoiled we are. We get upset if we see MSG on the nutrition label of a pack of beef jerky. I bet this woman isn't nearly as picky.
I noticed the leg immediately. And I'm a fan of the frequent random act of kindness.
WOW! No, you are not alone not noticing that & I had to go back a few times & look again at all of the pic for what I missed!
I LOVE what you are doing & that you are bringing it back home to a dinner table with all the family there to discuss!
I will work on my random acts of kindness! Thank you!!!!!
PS: I linked to your Halloween candy post from my post today.
Jay – I have never heard of Danny Wallace but now I'm intrigued! I will def. look him up. Also, how does one start an inadvertent cult?! I want that super power!
I don't have a family that I can join in your suggestion, however, when I was out yesterday, I saw this guy digging through the garbage can. I went outside of the coffee shop where I was, asked him to come back in with me. I bought him a cup of coffee and a piece of cake to go with it. I'm not so sure the owners of the coffee shop wanted him in there. He told me he has a form of autism. He was pretty interesting to talk to short term.
With a family to sit down to dinner with, this could be a very interesting idea. I'm sure everyone would benefit from the conversation.
I'm a leader for my church's high school youth group. Last night we talked about how a good God can allow evil to exist. The whole time the pastor was giving the message he projected an image (which was on the cover of Life Magazine in 1984 and won a Pulitzer Prize) of a tiny starving boy in the Sudan crawling toward a UN food supply station while a vulture stood by and watched. Absolutely heart breaking.
We talked about how God doesn't cause but allows evil and suffering because in giving humans the ability for evil he gave us the ability to love. One of the questions we talked about was "Was it worth it?" Many of the high schoolers were absolutely sure it was, but the older I get the harder it is for me to justify that to myself.
Wow… that was off on a tangent.
I really like your idea. GP and I have been discussing how we want to raise our (hypothetical) children. This sounds like a great way to instill compassion and caring into them from a young age. And also a way to lead by example.
Charlotte – I don't think this site qualifies as a cult since the definition is really a group of people "whose beliefs or practices are regarded by others as strange or sinister." That being said, I think you have more followers than many actual cults. So, something to think about.
I'm guessing that her injury is from a land-mine!! Make health, not war is a good starting point for this screwed up world!
I noticed the leg right away, but I also thought the colors in the picture were beautiful. It sounds like a wonderful idea – I'll try and report back tomorrow…
Oy. I struggle with this. Every day. I struggle with the fact that so many people would gladly trade places with me, would die for a change to have "my struggles". Especially every time I smooch the baby. I can't help but think of all the babies around the world who have no one to smile at them or take care of them or appreciate their perfectness.
Ugh. I have a lump in my throat now. Must go love on the baby. If I had the means and capacity I would adopt all the kids I could. Maybe someday we will.
I love random acts of kindness.
Sometimes it's worth it, just for the act of doing it. I've been teased that I'm selfish and doing it to feel good, but I think making people smile and being kind is a great way of reminding myself what really matters…
What a nice way to bring me back down to earth. My whining has been about how I'm sooooooo tired. Boo hoo. Thanks for the sharp slap in the face. I like your idea and we will be on that project right away. Ok, how pathetic that doing nice things have now become family project rather than our natural instinct. Ugh. Feeling rather pathetic. Oh, and this post was a nice thing you did for all of us.
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That is lovely. And no, I didn't notice the leg either.