I don’t have a lot of memories of my grandfather. He died when I was seven from cancer. I’m not even sure of the name of the type of cancer that slowly ravaged his body and thirteen years later took his life. I do know one thing about it: it ate away at the cartilage that padded the vertebrae in his spine so that every movement produced a grinding, chronic pain. And yet this is how I remember him:
Piggy back rides. On a broken back. (Yes, that is actually a wee Charlotte and my little brother.)
I don’t remember him ever crying out in pain or even wincing as we grandkids piled on his back and rode him around the room. Smiles and laughter are the only noise in my faded sepia-toned polyester memory. But there was pain. In later years, long after my grampa had died, my dad would tell me stories about his father who lived for over a decade in excruciating pain and yet still worked full time as an engineer, took care of his family and served tirelessly in his church and community. One of my most sacred not-memories is my dad’s recollection of being at his dad’s deathbed. Where much of death is ugly, I am told there was great dignity and even beauty in his.
I wish that my grandfather’s illness was the only way cancer has touched my family. My father lost a brother to brain cancer and an uncle to colon cancer. On my mother’s side, exactly 50% of each generation has gotten cancer. (In my mother’s generation, her cousin died of colon cancer and her sister has had both thyroid and breast cancer.) When I asked her for an explanation – she is a nurse after all – she answered simply, “About 50% of people worldwide get cancer so I don’t suppose we’re that strange. The other half get heart disease and we’ve got a history of that too. So pick which one you want to worry about!” Haha. Medical humor.
So, while I’ve never personally had cancer I’ve certainly been around enough of it to put the fear in me. While it does keep me up some nights – I’ve had three benign tumors removed off my right ovary (one that even had a tooth in it but that’s a story for another day) – it has also motivated me to exercise and eat right. That and tell my children I love them about 100 times a day.
I’m guessing many of you have similar stories. Is there anyone who has not been touched somehow by cancer?
Today, October 2nd, is LIVESTRONG day and I’m adding my voice to thousands of other bloggers hoping to raise awareness (and, let’s be honest, money) for a cure for cancer. Fellow blogger POD let me know about this event, adding that we’re supposed to cook something yellow – the official Lance Armstrong color, natch – and post pics of our culinary masterpiece. After I laughed loud and hard about the irony of asking me to food blog, one more memory I have of my grandfather occurred to me: his favorite candy was lemon drops. He always kept a stash on his desk in his office and whenever I’d come in to visit him he’d draw smiley faces on the tip of each of my fingers with his felt tip pen and then send me on my way with a lemon drop in each fist.
I think it was a sign. I love you too grandpa! Now it’s your turn: how has cancer affected your life? Are you a survivor? Anyone else have a crazy family history of the illness? Have a blog and want to join in? The day’s not over yet! (Unless you’re reading this post late and then, well, yes the day is over. But you can still totally blog about it!)
Wow, 3 tumors, and one HAD A TOOTH?!?!?!?! Freaky! (Glad they were benign!)
I lost my maternal grandmother (who was a lawyer in Washington D.C during WWII, the only female in her firm) to cancer when my brother and I were quite young, and my grandpa(who was in the navy on an aircraft carrier during WWII) died a couple years later. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, and (as you know) we lost Dad to melanoma a year and 3 days ago.
(And I think your Grampa is smiling down on you!)
WOW, it really has effected your life! A touching post to all your loved ones!
I, too, heard about this day online BUT was contacted by another blogger to post about today. I don't think she said I had to cook something but she talked about doing that. I am a horrible cook but hey, I love lemon drops too!
Cancer has hit me too & I will post Friday about it at my http://www.truth2beingfit.com site. I have posted many times too about ;losing my mom to liposarcoma but I have lots other family member as well.
Charlotte, thx for your story, as sad as it is. You are a survivor too!
You should join the Turbo Kick team for the Apple Valley Relay for Life! It's not 'till June, but if you want details let me know!
Yes, while I haven't had cancer I've been the right-hand gal for my Dad who has been battling leukemia for 7 yrs and now a very serious and deadly form of transformed lymphoma for the last 1.5 yrs. He's already outlived the stats so we are living every day to the fullest. Lunches out. Trips together. The works. Life is short. I did a Flashback friday a last week about him, if you want to see his handsome mug splashed all over the blogosphere 🙂
Thanks for posting about it, Charlotte.
Deb
I love your story, Charlotte.
Thanks for sharing it with us and for recognizing today.
Wow, what a great guy; thanks for sharing your memories of him.
I hate cancer.
I remember all too vividly when my mother's cancer diagnosis was announced! She died two years later, this past April. It was a terribly painful process for all of us.
Both of my grandparents on my mum's side died of cancer when I was quite young… my grandma had breast and bone cancer and my grandpa had lung and esophagus cancer, I believe. But they, too, had great dignity. The few memories I have of them are how amazingly STRONG they always were. Smiling and happy.
Thanks for the cancer awareness and for bringing back the nice memories, Charlotte.
When I was younger 'cancer' was just this thing, that both my maternal grandparents died of, but I was very unclear as to it's potentially ravaging nature. My mom had ovarian cancer when I was in high school, which was really hard to deal with, and I just found out yesterday that a good friends mom has kidney cancer.
I remember doing a research project when I was in my senior year of high school, and I think the stats for my generation were closer to 2/3 of people will have some form of cancer. This obviously terrifies me as I get older and older. I know you can take preventative steps (like eating well), but it's not like that's determinative.
I'm not going to lie, I'm now very curious to hear about your toothy tumor.
Charlotte, thanks for writing about this and the attention and tribute to the disease and the day. I'm hoping next year we can be on top of this like those food and wine people. We can skip making things and just eat things that are yellow.
Right now, I'm eating some popcorn but earlier today I sucked on a lemon.
Thanks again! Much appreciation for all your efforts.
Charlotte – wear something yellow if you can't cook something yellow!!
I have lost many family members to cancer, including my mom. My sister is a breast cancer survivor.
I hate cancer too, Crabby!
of course, how could my oft-cited insurance-covered boob job have escaped your notice? Wow, I really hope they cover it…my mom died about 2 years ago from ovarian and breast cancer, as do most of the women on her side of the family. What was scary crazy was when I looked up her second cousins descended from the woman who started it all, they all had it too! Even the men had prostate cancer. My dad's parents both died of cancer, but I don't know what kind.
We were driving through a neighboring rural subdivision, and there were yellow-painted bikes and trikes and wagons and rocks in most of the yards. I thought it was a fun little fad until my husband pointed to "Lance's house" on the top of the hill, and it all clicked into place!
I've been craving lemon bars, which I ate copiously on Friday. My baby cried and ran away when she saw me holding one, just in case I might make her try the sour goo again. I should carry those around more often.
So here's to early surgical menopause, male pattern hair loss yet hair growth too, premature aging, and hopefully chemo-free not dying before I meet my grandbabies!