In a shocking display of honesty or hubris (both?), the immensely likable Robert Verdi recently said, “A lot of women say ‘I should’ve been alive when Ruben was because I’m Rubenesque.’ So times have changed. There are different cultural norms and values and beauty identities, and the fact that thin is in — who cares? It’s why I stopped eating. I think food is for fat people and poor people. Rich people don’t eat. They get dressed up and go shopping.” [Emphasis mine.]
Dear Robert,
I adored you on Trading Spaces. And The Fashion Police was a guilty pleasure of mine for quite a while. I’ve heard (though not seen as I have a policy of never watching the movie version of a book I have enjoyed) that you were utterly charming on The Devil Wears Prada. If there was ever a man I would want to give me a much-needed makeover, it would be you! You are the rare makeover artist who can transform a person – or their personal space – without making them feel bad about themselves. That’s a gift, sir. But even all of that love for your spunky knits and weird headware cannot make me overlook this.
Because this is a serious problem. See: Food is for people people. All people. This attitude that eating represents a loss of self control and is only for the déclassé is abhorrent. With one fell swoop you hurt poor people, fat people, eating disordered people, normal-weight-but-afraid-of-becoming fat people and pretty much everyone else within the sound of your voice that isn’t part of the pill-n-party LA culture. As a woman of normal – sometimes even “low” – weight, I must tell you that your statement makes me sick to my stomach. Not from revulsion. From fear. I live in constant terror that were I to gain weight, I would no longer be deserving of love. It’s was a primary factor in my eating disorder and remains a great source of income for my therapist. (That’s me, stimulating our economy one mental health professional at a time!)
You may think you are just stating the facts ma’am but the problem is that we have created a culture where people would rather die than be fat. Why? Because it has become acceptable, praiseworthy even, to abuse, belittle and humiliate people for their weight. Take the recent case of Marsha Coupe, a British woman who was beaten to a bloody pulp by another woman for the crime of taking up two seats on a train. There are so many horrible things about this incident: First, that the attacker was another woman; Second, that the train was practically empty; Third, that the motive for the attack was clearly and specifically targeted to the victim’s weight as evidenced by the attacker screaming, “You big fat pig” before kicking Coupe in the face.
Coupe explains, “The government and the press have created an atmosphere where people think they have a legitimate right to go up to an overweight person and tell them how to live their lives. To them we are all the anonymous pictures of fat people they see in the papers and are the cause of all society’s ills, as well as a drain on the NHS. We deserve what we get. We’re not people with feelings.”
So back to you Robert – your statement that fat people are not deserving of one of the most basic human rights, food, is exactly how we get to thinking that overweight people deserve whatever abuse people see fit to heap upon them because in the end it’s “for their own good.” If only we all had the self control to just blithely give up food like you! Psychologist Ros Taylor takes on this sadly prevalent attitude saying, “There is true aggression towards overweight people and it comes down to fear and a complete lack of understanding of the issue. People think ‘I can control what I put in my mouth so why can’t they’. But we’re not all the same, we don’t all start from the same point.”
I’d like to think you were just being glib and silly, in the way that you so often got people to laugh at the silly and unflattering clothing they were hanging on to. Except that your statement and the attack on Marsha Coupe are two sides of the same soul-destroying coin. This time people are getting hurt, really hurt and it’s not entertainment anymore. So I say with love: Please shut up.
Sincerely,
Charlotte
Hi Charlotte! When I read that article…I thought he was being sarcastic. Am I crazy????
Maybe I'm the crazy one, Meg! Perhaps I got all worked up over nothing – wouldn't be the first time;)
I haven't read the article, and I don't know much about him, but I can only hope he was being sarcastic.
Even if he was, however, there are too many people who really do feel that way, as the attack on Ms. Coupe shows.
The fact is, many, MANY people DO choose the course of not eating, and they are praised for it. It's seen as a sign of strength, a badge of honor. It's not even seen as a sickness. Karl Lagerfeld recently made some incredibly ignorant remarks about super- skinny models (he loves 'em) that shows the prevalence of this ignorant mindset.
I so hope that people (like you, Charlotte!) keep calling others out on this kind of bunk, and we can FINALLY let go of this thin, thinner, thinnest mentality.
We can only hope he was being sarcastic, but I also feel that 'sarcastic' or 'teasing' comments are nothing more than insults dressed in a nice sweater.
I think that the only thing more messed up than people's feelings about sex is their feelings and relationship about food.
While most of the public does not have a formal eating disorder, put 10 people in a room and 9 of them are going to have some twisted relationship with food and their weight.
I have no idea who this guy is, and I'm kind of glad to say that. What a [expletive deleted].
-Joshua
As someone who spends more time than she'd like around "rich" people (NY rich people, not LA rich people) and as someone who is middle class herself, is chubby, and enjoys food like nobody's business, I have to say that although there have DEFINTELY been times when I wished I were thinner than I am and even though I exercise 5-6 times a week in hopes of controlling my weight and maybe even losing a little, I still have to say that I have NEVER, EVER, EEEEVER looked at some emaciated Upper East Side bobblehead woman or some even more emaciated LOWER East Side bobblehead hipster, despite her size 00 and her millions of dollars, and said to myself "Man, I really wish I were her…" NEVER. And the reason I never had is the issue of "radiance." People who don't eat aren't radiant. They LOOK LIKE THEY DON'T EAT. They look like that comso isn't all the calories they really need. Even the expensive clothes and liberally applied make-up can't hide it in real life. So, in short, I'd rather be poor, fat and fed than rich, thin and so hungry my eyes glaze over.
I hadn't heard about those unfortunate and bizarre occurrences!
Just the other day, as artists, a friend and I were talking about Rubens. We felt that in those days the models were large, but the populace was thin, whereas today, it's just the opposite! Will we ever find the middle ground?
I'd not heard that story about Marsha Coupe – how awful!
I really do think he was being sarcastic. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of Hollywood types who think this way, though they might not say it in an interview. I’ve always been thin and never struggled with my weight, and I still look at actresses and models and think, Wow, I’m huge. And if they can look that good, why can’t I? A big problem is that they’re all so dishonest about their eating habits. You won’t hear a rail-thin actress say she only eats a piece of celery and a handful of almonds all day to stay thin. Instead, they all claim to eat cheeseburgers, French fries, and pizza. That makes attaining their weight seem even more out of reach to the rest of us who really do eat.
Part of me is so relieved to hear someone admit that the starved-thin-look is actually from starving yourself! Unlike the usual bullshit "I eat whatever I want" or "I'm just naturally this thin".
I too wish the thinner than thin look would be over. Like someone else said, you might be able to make it look good in a picture. But in real life looking emaciated is just not attractive.
Sarcasm or not, comments like that are dangerous. They are insulting and easily given to misinterpretation, either by those who want to take the comment down or by those who will take it as truth. It's dangerous.
I think he was perhaps just being overly snarky, possibly joking, for some laughs.
I didn't take it as an attack on the poor or overweight, more of a commentary on his people.
His statement is the same mentality that "sacrifices itself for fashion." Eg. If thin is in, then the fashionable will obviously want to be thin– so they can fit into the couture of the time. So they can be popular and on the covers of magazines.
If you take it from his perspective, in his industry, his commentary is pretty deep. His attitude shows how much people bend to current fads, that they are AWARE of it, and they will do anything — change their lifestyles completely to achieve it.
Sounds to me like he wants a sandwich but he knows he can't have it.
I do disagree with the statement that food is for poor people, though, even in this fashionista context.
Being a "foodie" has become more fashionable then ever — at least in NYC. The celebrity chef craze is still full force. and spending lots of money on a big dinner. We're not talking small portions, we're talking 11 course tasting menus at Per Se and Momofuku Ko. I think it also says something that the most fashionable chef in NYC specializes in pork.
Maybe you could apply "food is for poor people" to fast food, or to junk food.
But really? I think what this guy is really saying has more to do with the industry he is in and less about the public, or the rich, at large.
Oh man, I love food. Guess I'll never be one of those rich and pretty ones? 🙂 I bet though that I could beat any one of them crazy non-eating people at a race, and that's good enough for me.
And I thought immediately about the foodie craze (it's not just NYC, Austin foodies are crazy too) and how he must have just been overly snarky. Doubt he meant to set anyone off but geez, have a little tact.
I agree with you charlotte for the VERY SAME REASON I did not find Borat humorous at all.
I could go on and on (and have debated this with so many people who leap to S.B.C's defense saying its ok for him to behave in that manner because he IS jewish) but the bottom line for me in both instances is that things get taken out of context.
Things get heard and interpreted in ways that he/SBC may not have envisioned when the statement/film was made.
I like R.Verdi as well and find him entirely funny—but I still think the statement was irresponsible.
Ugh, so ridiculous. I remember being in my pre-teen/ten years thinking it was not cool to eat in front of boys. Now we are supposed to feel like we can't eat at all? This kind of elitist ignorant attitude (sarcastic or not) is out of control.
I am off to eat a piece of halloween candy and savor every moment of it.
Was he in devil wears prada?
WOW! Had not heard this & not about Marsha either!
I don't find this funny if it is a joke or sarcastic. You are right.. too much crap going on in regards to weight already! Good for you!
I'm assuming he's being sarcastic too…
Went a bit far, but still, I really can't think he actualy meant that.
At least I hope so…
Someone was beaten for being fat?
So very very sad….
Just today I had a conference with a parent (I'm a first grade teacher), and the mother told me that her little 6-year-old doesn't eat her lunch because she's afraid she'll get fat.
She is a TINY little girl. The mom also told me 1) the girl sees skinny people on tv and says she wants to look like them while simultaneously calling her mother fat, and 2) (most disturbing) the little girl drags out old clothes from when she was 3 or 4, puts them on, and proclaims how skinny she is because she can still fit in the little clothes.
The crazy thing is that my school is extremely poor and disconnected from most societal norms. I thought these people were pretty unaffected. All this from a child who BARELY knows the letters and sounds of the alphabet.
What he (and those women) forget is that in Ruben's time it was the RICH who could afford enough food and enough fat to be "Rubenesque". The poor were barely making by – and being plump and round was a physical demonstration that one was rich.
Now? How is not eating a sign of wealth? You can afford cocaine?
Stupid statement from a man I used to like.
Even if that was meant sarcastically, it was a bad idea. Someone is sure to take it seriously.
Wether he was being sarcastic or not, there is truth in that saying behind every joke is some truth.
The fact that he said it joking or not speaks to our culture. If there wasn't some serious truth to that joke it wouldn't have been said.
I hope it was a joke, because he is funny and normally likable.
Either way though, I agree with you Charlotte he needs to shut up.
I have never heard of him, but even if he's funny and likable, I think he might live to regret making that statement.