This is the universal symbol for “your yoga teacher is a perv.”Grabbing your throat with both hands is the universally recognized symbol for choking. Likewise, a palm facing out means “stop” (“in the name of the love” optional). And now, thanks to the Salahi’s, shaking President Obama’s hand means “galling reality show stunt cum international incident.” (There is more use for this one than you’d think.)
I got to thinking about ways we wordlessly communicate with others when I accidentally leaned on my horn at a stoplight several days ago, scaring the bejeebies out of me, my kids and all the other cars at the intersection. One man across the intersection from me seemed particularly affected by my errant blast, looking wildly in my direction. It was at that moment I realized that sadly there is no universal gesture for “oops.” I did my best – shrugging my shoulders, holding my hands up and making a goofy face – to indicate it was just an accident and I didn’t mean it. After a few tense seconds, he burst out laughing and pointed at me. My 7-year-old observed dryly, “He thinks you’re an idiot, mom.” So while I hadn’t figured out how to apologize from a distance, apparently I’d discovered the universal symbol for “moron.” Feel free to write that down for future reference. You know, just in case.
These kinds of gestures are everywhere but nowhere are they as entertaining as in the gym. Due to the twin evils of loud music and headphones, to thrive in a fitness environment it is necessary to familiarize yourself with these signals. Some, like the one-finger salute, are pretty easily understood (it means “I’m a jerk and refuse to re-rack my weights because I think I’m the king of the chest press) but others need some explaining.
The head pat was one of those for me. Any of you who have taken a cardio class like step, Zumba, Turbokick or some other incarnation of dance aerobics have probably seen the head pat. Midway through a class, just when you’ve got your groove thang going, the instructor pats his or her head and – this is the weird part – the whole class starts over from the beginning of the routine!
Let me back up. See, I have this weird affliction that whenever I start to heat up and break a sweat my scalp gets realllllly itchy. I don’t know why. I try to suppress the urge to itch, knowing that it will pass as my muscles get warm and also I don’t want to freak out anyone aerobicizing next to me. So I just figured that all my cardio instructors had the same sweaty scalp issues that I do. (Side note: never shave your eyebrows. You think now that they’re just good for Groucho Marx impressions but really they’re nature’s sweatbands. Don’t ask me how I know this.) It turns out that they were trying to tell me something. It took me years to figure out that the head pat wasn’t just a form of lice that only affected group fit instructors but was actually a signal that means “from the top.” Head = top, get it??
You can’t see me but right now I’m making the “I’m an idiot” gesture.
How about you? Have you ever encountered a gym gesture that you didn’t understand (or just wished you didn’t)? What’s your universal symbol for “oops”?
I actually have the exact same symbol for "oops". Or, I pretend nothing ever happened and don't look at the people staring at me…much the same response for the accidental public fart incidents.
OMG when you said the head pat I was horrified- I thought that the instructors came up to YOU and patted YOUR head!! ACK!
I like the "do you want to work in with me" gesture (on a machine, mind out of the gutter!). If a guys keeps looking at you and you assume that they want to use the same machine that you're on, you do the following:
You point to them, you, them, machine and raise your eyebrows, but not in 'a come here big boy' way. Amazing how everyone knows what that means. If they want to work in, they nod and work in. If they were just staring, they get the point that you noticed and they scurry away. Works a treat every time.
God. I laughed so much reading this. I love you Charlotte for making me laugh. By the way, my oops signal is more of an "im sorry" kind of streched smile that actually says Im really uncoordinated (which I am).
thanks
oh
oh
oh we must hear about the EYEBROWS!!
The gluten free bakery where I go has one woman who works behind the counter.
always.
we see each other 2 times a week and have for eons.
She has shaved her eyebrows OFF (none drawn on) since Ive 'known' here and Im LONGING TO ASK HER WHY.
we see each other 2 times a week and have for eons and she never ever smiles at me or shows recognition.
it is now your job to tell me what mightcould prompt someone to do that and WHAT IT IS LIKE 🙂
Firstly I didn't understand what you meant in this posting. Then I read it again, so I get smile on me. I just want to say thank you for your story even though I've never encountered a gym gesture as you asked.
Ironman Elliptical Trainer
We used to have an aerobics instructor that would whistle (the two fingers-mouth way) when it was time to change the steps. She was fabulous!! At first I thought it was part of the recorded music!
When I'm teaching class, I'll use gestures a lot because damn it's hard sometimes to fit all those words in! I definitely use the head pat (and I too thought that the instructor wasn't patting YOUR head when you first mentioned it!).
One thing I always find amusing is when I'm teaching and use my arms as directionals (lifting my arm out to the right to tell them to go right, instead of saying it), and people will copy my movement…and then get really self-conscious when they realize it was a directional and not meant as part of the routine, and they put their arm down and try to pretend it never happened. I would totally do something like that if I weren't teaching the class!
I'm still stuck on the picture up top. There are worse things than having an instructor pat your head. 🙂
Hi Char!
When I went through my instructor training through the YMCA, part of the training was non-verbal cueing. YIKES! For someone who had never instructed anyone before, to have someone follow my arm movements was TORTURE!! Thank goodness it wasn't longer than a couple of minutes!
I feel that sometimes people don't watch the instructor all that much and "patting my head" wouldn't be that affective but I am "newer" at this gig. 🙂
No funny gym gestures at my gym – our instructors mostly give verbal directions and the few visual queues some use are right on. I have had to learn new queues. I just started going to some BodyStep classes and I am not a stepper and boy, they do things differently than we do in Pump!
Like Merry, I'm having a hard time getting past that creepy picture up top. Acckk!
So I had NO IDEA about the head pat. I haven't taken a class in a while, so I'm hoping it's a recent phenomenon, but I'm guessing it's been around and I was just as clueless as to its meaning.
Thanks for the info!
Okay, all I saw was the picture and caption, and I simultaneously laughed and threw up a little bit.
Now I have to read the rest of the post. Geez! That makes me want to start drinking Red Bull again. (okay, I want to do that anyway; damn).
-Joshua
Hmmm…the only thing I've had even close to this are the movement cues to give in bellydance when dancing in a trio. Because trio work is improvised (you follow the "leader") the leader cues the other 2 people as to what moves come next with certain arm/posturs. There are a lot…I'm still learning them…
I've never known of any in the gym.
Interesting.
Bwhahaha yes, gym hand signals are hilarious. As are expressions at the gym. I never knew that about the head tapping! Never noticed that in a class, either, to be honest.
I have the same gestures for conveying "oops".
Oops: I think I just offer my hands palm up, shrug my shoulder, raise my eyebrows, and paste on a goofy grin; no teeth lest you like psychotic.
-Joshua
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one hand gesture I simply cannot stand (it's not gym-related) is the middle finger. I hate it. When I see people flicking each other off – usually in a car situation – it makes me feel sick. It makes the person doing it look so uneducated and classless. I prefer a wave and a sickeningly sweet smile directed towards the person who just cut me off. Kills em everytime b/c it's just so obnoxious!
HA! Charlotte, you never fail to crack me up.
My oops face is the same as yours. 🙂 And the head-pat thing always makes me laugh. I think the only reason I got it the first time was because I had dance teachers who used it when I was little.
So funny Charlotte and love that pic but creeps me out! 🙂
I am with you, I shrug my shoulders, lift my hands up with that & tilt my head when I am trying to say oops.
As for gym signals… the good ole strut usually by somebody that should not be doing it but they think they are telling people they are awesome.. NOT! Or me, just the pointing at a piece of equipment & mouthing are you using that if they have headphones on.
I've never seen the head pat! I dare say I'd think it's only good to use non-verbal cuing as a reinforcement of your verbal. I'd be pretty embarrassed if I missed a cue b/c I was swigging some water or toweling my sweat or just looked at a a focal point on the wall to survive through class. Also I don't know any other gym gestures.
That's the "oops" symbol I use too. I'd call that one universal.
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