In the illustrious history of Rick rolling, surprise kitty and, my personal favorite, the send-this-to-everyone-you-know-and-Microsoft-will-send-you-a-check-for-a-million-dollars e-mail, a new Internet meme has emerged and it is good. If by “good” you mean “hilarious” – which I always do.
If you were on Facebook this weekend and are a girl, you probably got an e-mail akin to this one:
Something fun is going on! Just write the color of your bra in your status. Just the colour, nothing else. Send this message on to ONLY girls –no men. It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before the men will wonder why all the girls have a color in their status.
If you were on Facebook this weekend and are a non-stupid man, you probably got a good snicker… until you read that your mom’s status update was “black lace with red satin choker.”
Upon receiving this e-mail* I immediately saw my girlfriend’s statuses lighting up like rainbows and, like the creative girls my friends are, were rarely limited to “just the colour, nothing else.” My friends described their undergarments in such fascinating detail that I felt like we had taken our relationship to a whole new level – the Girl’s Gone Wild one.
Wanting to be in on all the fun, my fingers hovered over my keyboard ready to chime in when two thoughts occurred simultaneously: 1) Nursing bras are boring and 2) This might be the best frat-boy prank ever.
You know me – I am not shy about talking about my bra when the context warrants it – but something about this particular meme smacked of the adolescent days when boys snapped bra straps and girl’s bras were considered the most magical pieces of cloth invented – even surpassing the Borat thong with their powers. Did you tell a boy the color of your bra just because he asked? Of course not. That ruined the mystique.
But boys have grown up and this time they added the “cancer awareness” tag to the tired come-on. Call me the Facebook Grinch (do I get a t-shirt?) but I don’t see how this helps cancer patients or research at all. Is there anyone, male or female, who is not aware of breast cancer? Bras may be magical but I’m pretty sure they haven’t invented one yet that cures cancer. (Side note: breast cancer is not the #1 killer of women. Heart disease is. It’s not even the #1 cancer of women. That honor goes to the unsexy lung cancer.) When I expressed my grinch-i-tude on Facebook, one friend (whom I love even more knowing that she wears a purple polka-dot bra on a bleak Friday in January) said, “If it gets one woman to do a breast self-exam then it is worth it.” She has a point. But I ask you, did any of you give yourselves a firm pat down upon reading a friend’s bra color? I sure didn’t. And also, as Gym Buddy Krista pointed out, “The e-mail doesn’t say breast cancer. How come no one is asking the men to post their boxer colors in support of testicular cancer?”
It was this disingenuity that bothered me about the bra-color meme. If my girls want to post their bra color (or underwear color or tupperware color or booger color) because it makes them happy then by all means go for it! But call it what it is: coy titillation. It feels like trickery and disrespect to tell women to bare their undies as a way to help “spread the wings of cancer awareness.” How does “raising awareness” without raising money help anyone?
Because these things never go quietly into the dark (Internet) night, this morning I received a follow-up:
Since some woman spilled the beans, we created a new one to keep men guessing :):) Here is the game. this will get the guys thinking….To’ see if they’ve got dirty minds or not!! It’s not at all rude. lol. This is about how you are wearing your hair right now. up- write ON TOP, down- write SIDE BY SIDE, messy- write EVERYWHERE AND MESSY! see if they get this one! remember tho ONLY SEND TO WOMEN. This is also for Cancer as we know how many lose their hair fighting :(:(
This new meme ups the ante by more explicitly referencing sex and adding not only the generic cancer admonition but also a “lost hair” addendum to tug on your emotions. Thankfully none of my girlfriends have fallen for this one.
So let me have it: Do I just have no sense of humor? Am I missing the point? Did you post your bra color? What do you think of campaigns that “raise awareness” and nothing else?
* I want to emphatically state that I LOVE all my facebook girlfriends and do not think any less of those that sent on this e-mail or posted their bra color. I don’t want anyone to feel bad for sending this to me. My issue is with whomever started this ridiculousness of “raising awareness”.
I'm with you on this one, and would argue that "get[ting] one woman to do a breast self-exam" isn't even necessarily worth it. The effectiveness of mammography and manual exams is really up in the air right now.
On the subject, I love this quote taken from a Barbara Ehrenreich article (links and commentary found here: http://jezebel.com/5417285/blindfolded-by-a-pink-ribbon-barbara-ehrenreich-on-mammograms-breast-cancer):
"To some extent, pink-ribbon culture has replaced feminism as a focus of female identity and solidarity. When a corporation wants to signal that it's "woman friendly," what does it do? It stamps a pink ribbon on its widget and proclaims that some miniscule portion of the profits will go to breast cancer research. I've even seen a bottle of Shiraz called "Hope" with a pink ribbon on its label, but no information, alas, on how much you have to drink to achieve the promised effect. When Laura Bush traveled to Saudi Arabia in 2007, what grave issue did she take up with the locals? Not women's rights (to drive, to go outside without a man, etc.), but "breast cancer awareness." In the post-feminist United States, issues like rape, domestic violence, and unwanted pregnancy seem to be too edgy for much public discussion, but breast cancer is all apple pie."
I'm with you on this. I did post my bra colour eventually but since my updates are private, it was more for a laugh with a few friends. I ended up convincing a friend to get properly fitted for a bra at my favourite boutique (I miss it 🙁 ) so it was worth that.
All the FB memes that go around have NOTHING to do with cancer or cures or raising money or awareness. They're just for some bored people to have fun with and watch them spread. I sometimes feel mighty Scrooge like when I want to unfriend everyone who follows them.
A friend sent it to me and I must admit I didn't even notice the "cancer" line. I posted mine – bone ! How boring is that !
I should read these things more carefully as I probably would have ignored it if I'd seen the references to "raising awareness".
These days I'm such a cynic when it comes to people raising either awareness or money.
Raising nothing but awareness is about as useful as raising chickens in farmville 🙂
and I suspect – so is raising money (but that could just be my cynicism)
Hmm, had another thought. Thinking about why it's breast cancer, not something else, that gets so much attention. A comment on the article I linked to guesses that it might be because "the cancer in question doesn't involve bums or hoo-has," which I think has some truth to it. We're pretty comfortable with breasts, considering. But why, then, when Facebook makes news over a bunch of colors, are so many still so freaked out over watching a woman breastfeed, something that actually does prevent breast cancer for both mother and (female) child?
I agree with you. I felt like posting "how about you go show your husband your bra color and then you'll be too busy for facebook ;)" But I'm a prude =) And for a cancer survivors take, I suggest reading this post from Whymommy- http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/2010/01/08/in-the-name-of-awareness/
Paige – Excellent points (both of them)! And thanks for the link to the Ehrenreich article – I love her! She articulated so well what has always bothered me about the breast cancer campaigns. And yes, many people are seriously weirded out by breast feeding. I can personally attest to that one! They won't blink at a 20-foot tall set of hooters on a Victoria's secret billboard but they give me all kinds of dirty looks when I use mine for the purpose nature intended.
Agree with you Charlotte, just call it what it is: something for fun. It doesn't raise awareness.
Awesome quote Paige!
agree agree agree.
Frat-boy prank!! That made me laugh out loud…then wonder. Baha.
The whole bra color Facebook fad was a good laugh (though I didn't participate – I honestly have never posted a single Facebook status update in my whole Facebook existence), but I totally didn't know they had included some "raise awareness" stint along with it. It was just for sheer boredom… and for Facebook's own gain of getting some online buzz. I have to agree with your opinions on this issue.
that said…in defence of the Facebook MeMe, I have in the last week seen 4 actual discussions of breast and other cancer awareness, what works, what doesn't, how to raise funds etc. Three were on facebook, one on your blog charlotte. And all were sparked by the Facebook thing. That's four more than i've seen in the last 2 years on facebook.
Seems like a pretty effective campaign to me.
While I did not participate in the FB color-bandwagon (I debated, I hawed, I hummed, I was disappointed in how many of my friends were sporting the old-lady beige), my personal trainer did host a great Raise Funds For Breast Cancer activity.
She designed an entire workout using old bras and asked people to donate $$ to the local organization. The pictures are priceless (albeit disturbing if you don't know the context) and it definitely got people talking. Resistance training has never been the same!
I'll call you that and raise you this:
Right now my local radio station is blitzing us with ads about one of those "Runs to fight cancer. Now YOU can be a leader and an important link in the fight against this deadly disease."
They make it sound like you personally are going to find the cure for cancer sitting there on the side of the road as you run. Come on, let's be honest and call it what it is: Guilt-tripping people into donating money .
Ever see this Onion article?
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28024
Oops, let me try that again:
theonion.com/content/node/28024
This is annoying! How come the margins are so narrow? All of the posts are only about five words per line. I'll have to break this into two lines:
the onion.com/
content/node/28024
Sorry to clutter up the comment page.
I posted my bra color because I thought it was funny… I actually didn't hear the supposed breast cancer awareness link until afterward.
And funny enough, the frat boy thing was one of my first thoughts when I heard about it– that yeah right, some guy probably made it up to get all his girl friends to tell him what color underwear they have on!
Completely agree. I had a friend post her status to challenge all those "raising awareness" by sharing their bra color to actually donate money to a charity. Donating your bra color isn't saving lives, isn't raising awareness for the most public cancer ever, and isn't helping anything.
Will it help women do self-exams? Unlikely. Does it matter if women do? Recent research has suggested that self-exams are not efficient at catching breast cancer early enough to provide a greater recovery chance (http://www.nytimes.com/2002/10/03/us/study-doubts-breast-self-exams-cut-deaths.html?pagewanted=1).
i'm totally with you on this. i absolutely refused to do it as i don't see how it raises awareness as when i asked my friends what it meant none of them knew and just thought it was (and i quote) "fun and sexy" to do
Don't do facebook (also never do chain letters/emails as a firm rule) but did hear about this. I figured it was a ploy to keep people on fb longer to up their ad revenue. I think it would have been funnier just to do on Feb 1st or any other random day for 'fun' rather than tying it into cancer. Wow, I sound old and cynical!
Breast cancer survivor here, so I may be biased, but imo, anything that gets people talking about cancer (whether of the boob kind or not) is a good thing. Sure, most people probably laughed it off, but I know that it got some of my friends talking about their experiences with chemo and such. Plus, it was kind of funny seeing all the guys saying, "What?" and "I don't get it."
Of course, that was until my retired high school history teacher posted that she was wearing a leopard print bra. That's just a bit too much for me.
Sure wish they had asked every person that read it to donate just $1 to cancer research and then post their bra color and then ask every guy that avidly read bra colors to do the same and donate just $1 – wonder how much good that could have done.
Hm, I think I'm totally humorless. I don't understand 1) why that's funny in the least and 2) how it helps cancer, breast or otherwise. I wonder how the man behind this meme will manipulate women next time…
Hurrah! I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I too, posted a comment on fb to the tune of "why have we all suddenly become bored 12-year olds". I've never had so much feedback – and some of it was scathing! I was made to feel as if by not posting my bra colour (which I didn't, haven't and won't) I was encouraging cancer to flourish and kill. Having watched my mom go through it a few years back, I really didn't see how this little game could help.
Thank you so much for your blog! Glad to know there's other grown-ups out there. 🙂
Oh, vom. I only hope this is a joke. On the other hand, we're all talking about it. Sex sells.
This is reason number 345 why I don't use facebook. As if I needed another reason.
This is probably the least useful way to support those who have cancer/attempt to cure it.
I personally like giving to those homes that allow families and patients to live closer to treatment. Support of family is something very important I think, and a lot of times families from far away can barely pay to have the patient fly to treatment, let alone the entire family.
I did not participate in the FB meme, either. Partly 'cause I was wearing a boring black sports bra.
I think another reason why breast cancer is "safe" to talk about is that we are obsessed with boobs, and most guys hate the thought of a woman having to lose one or both of them. Call me a cynical byotch, but I would guess that the average guy cares more about women losing their breasts than about women losing a lung. Or, y'know, their lives. (And I'm not talking about husbands, brothers, sons, fathers, etc. I'm talking about GUYS, as opposed to MEN.)
Love that you posted about this. I thought I was the only one who thought this whoel thing was odd. And I am not normally so pruddish, but when I saw some tweens I know posting their bra colors, it bothered me. Then I saw "commando" posted and I was just completely perplexed if that applied to going braless, and if not why would people post that on facebook? Can we have some modesty anymore? Wear pink, wear jeans, buy pink ribbon logo items, but declare our undergarments for all to read? Not for me.
My FB status in reply to the whole this was this:
So ladies are (theoretically) posting their bra color as their status to raise breast cancer awareness… but January is actually CERVICAL cancer awareness month. So, ladies- what color is your IUD? (I'm kidding, people. Not about it being Cervical Cancer Awareness month– but please don't answer that question. Please. For the love of all things holy.)
And now several of my friends are pissed off at me for mocking cancer- despite knowing that my mom is fighting Lymphoma and I have 3 friends fighting breast cancer. Yeesh.
I thought it was odd, but I was wearing the cute blue one with blue polky dots so I obliged. I in no way thought I was going to cure cancer, I just thought it was kinda fun.
I did have a friend on twitter that mocked it. They determined that we should all post pictures of our nekkid boobs with a tag line "Imagine the world without these". Now I am not terribly modest, but I think I'll refrain, thanks. 🙂
I have to say, I'm guilty! I hopped on this TMI bandwagon faster than you can say 'over the shoulder boulder holder!'
I didn't have a problem with this for two reasons:
1. It fosters a sense of community when there's a fun, little inside joke running.
2. No, it won't cure cancer, but all the hoopla this meme has caused has undoubtedly brought up the very topic that started it: breast cancer awareness. It's a fun idea aimed at making women more aware. Beats those pink ribbon commercials that give me instant breast cancer hypochondria!
For example, I don't know if anyone's seen the pap smear commercials that aired on CBS around Christmas time. The gist was for men to give the women in their lives the best Christmas gift of all — scheduling their pap smears for them.
That had me scratching my head & shouting, "what?" at the tv… Needless to say, it did bring an important issue to light that many women often ignore.
Lastly, it might be true that some ding-dong Animal House set this whole thing up just for cheap thrills. If that's the case, I hope they caught a personal glimpse of their grandmother's taste in undergarments. I hope they also saw that women band together in support of both the silly & serious, and if needed, we can totally use those pieces of elastic & cloth as weapons, if needed.
WOW! You said everything I was thinking! In fact, it was all I could do not to say "Really, FB? We now have to post the color of our titty panties?" But my Dad is my Facebook friend and I didn't want him to know that I (jokingly) call my bra a titty panty. OMG, those two words make me giggle way too much!
Oh, I posted photos of my enormous breasts instead of a color. Darn it.
I have often asked at grocery stores when the clerk says " do you want to donate to breast cancer?" why they don't ask for donations for uterine or anal cancer?
I posted my bra color though I think that so much attention is toward breast cancer (when all cancer patients suffer).
Maybe we should post the colors of the satin lining we want in our coffins.
That coffin thing was supposed to be funny. 😉
I never got the email, and it took me awhile to figure out what was going on.
I didn't post my bra color. I'm boring that way.
There are things "raising" all over, but it isn't "awareness". I'm so sorry I said that, but bluckkkk, I hate this crap.
I posted "Burned" as a feminist response 🙂
I'd just finished catching up with everyone's comments on here and the next email that popped up was another note from facebook with another friend sending on this meme. However this one is slightly different. It has absolutely no reference to cancer, or raising awareness of anything.
Looks like it's been modified and is doing the rounds again *sigh*
I did not see this but I don't spend a lot of time on Facebook.. I put my posts & check friends & that is about it. Don't have enough time! 🙂
I agree with you although I would probably have said none.. I like to be comfy when I am on the computer & I am so small anyway!
🙂
I'll keep my response to this brilliant post short: you are awesome.
And something I meant to comment on a while back was the post about pie-making. My mom has always made a great oil-based crust which is probably somewhat healthier, but still flaky and delicious, for pies. Here it is, for future experimentation.
Oil Pie Crust
2 c. flour
1 1/2 t. salt
1/2 c. oil
5 T cold water
Mix dry ingredients together in mixing bowl. Pour oil and water into the same measuring cup, then pour all at once into mixing bowl. Blend all ingredients together until smooth. Makes enough dough for two crust-bottoms or one full pie crust.
I thought it was lame. I got about 15 e-mails about it. I think this gal has it figured out!!
http://wcco.com/watercooler/bra.gas.mask.2.1351652.html
TurboJennie
I didn't do it. Besides feeling like I was giving someone a virtual peek at what I keep private, posting 'black' brings to mind something very different from the slightly spit-up stained black nursing camisole I was wearing.
Did not post my color and completely felt that telling the world my bra color would not make the world more aware that breast cancer exists.
ROFL over "titty panties". Cannot stop giggling and crying. This is now part of my vocabulary. Also, the bra color campaign gave me a very creepy vibe and I'm so glad to know I was not alone.
I got this post your bra colour message twice and didn't participate. I couldn't care less who knows my bra colour but because as far as I am concerned this type of thing is just a new form of chain mail and I HATE chain mail!!!!!
It's just slacktivism! The bra color thing was kind of cheeky and cute but alas, pointless. Same with all those pages or groups like "1,000,000 people to end hunger in africa!" clicking "add group" makes you feel like you're saving the world without having to, y'know, actually save it.
I think it's an amazing idea what they're doing for haiti support now – that phone number to text and a $10 donation will be added to your bill. Slacktivism + donations! Brilliant!
Not to be a party pooper, but I don't usually engage in "chain" type emails or campaigns of those types, so I just ignored it. It's just how I roll.
Must admit I LOLd at your anon commenter who asked everyone the color of their IUDs as it was in fact Cervical Cancer awareness month- wicked sense of humor, ya!
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