The ’00s will officially be known as the decade we paid money to have holes in our pants.I am evil. My first thought upon seeing this pic of wee teenaged overly pimped out (in both the literal and metaphorical senses) Miley Cyrus was, “Huh! Even skinny starlets get muffin top!” (Although my first thought should have been, “Who let her out of the house in that pretense of a shirt?!”) Now, I’m not body-snarking the teen queen – I’m snarking on her pants. Too-tight jeans have long been the bane of women and girls everywhere. Combine the size-too-small problem with the current trend of a low rise (that bit of fabric between your crotch and your navel) and you have a recipe for muffin tops that not even Paula Deen could top. Not even with struesel – and struesel makes everything better!
I’m not saying that we should go back to the days of yore when our jeans tucked into our bra bands and chafed our armpits and made all of our butts look like IMAX screens – although I do wish the artfully draped Katherine Hepburn high-waist would come back – but surely there is a middle ground between a ten-button fly and jeans that require a full bikini wax to wear (or even give you nerve damage!).
This question of denim cuts has recently been brought to mind because I too am right now sporting a wicked muffin top. (Well not now-now. Right this very instant I’m swathed in flannel jammie pants drinking a mug of peppermint tea with a sweet sleeping babe by my side. May I live in this instant forever!) But thanks to the post-preg mummy tummy that involves both extra skin and extra weight, I’m pulling a Miley with all but my largest jeans. Although I do have the sense to cover up my top half with more than an unraveled ball of yarn, so there is that.
See? Even men have this problem! The inevitable question: Why not just buy some larger pants? Ones that don’t pinch and squish and squeeze?
Answer 1: Have you seen my closet? I need more clothes like I need more butts to wipe. (As in please please potty train dearest pre-schooler. For the love of little green apples, you are THREE and you have man poops!) I have a lovely wardrobe of adorable jeans that hopefully I will fit back into at some point in the nearish future.
Answer 2 (the real answer): I’m stubborn. Not only am I attached to my favorite “skinny jeans” but I’m also attached to the idea of skinny jeans. Like any good eating-disordered girl one of the weight loss tips I have most dearly embraced was the one that tells you to buy a pair of pants a size too small and then work your butt off (literally) to get into them. Hang them on your door! Post a pic on your fridge! Dream about them! Every time you glimpse that antique wash denim you will be reminded of your goal and will step away from the jelly beans! Even at my very thinnest – a weight many told me was sick – I still had a teeny-tiny pair of jeans in my closet waiting to be slithered in to.
Back when I was in therapy – before my beloved therapist left me (!!) to go work in the prison system (!!!) – one of our main goals was to get me to let go of my skinny jeans, defined as the pair of jeans that I can only fit into when I’m on the unhealthy side of things. Sure I was amenorrheaic and cold all the time (and, um, crazy) but they were cuuuute!!
It was, I believe, the only therapeutic goal I didn’t accomplish. And now it’s coming back to haunt me. What is a woman just 2-months post partum doing trying on her skinny jeans in the first place? It’s crazy making I tell you. So short of becoming a criminal so I can be reunited with my beloved therapist, what should I do? Bite the bullet and get rid of the jeans? Put them in a box in the attic to show my children that once upon a time we paid a lot of money for “destroyed” jeans? Is it wrong to hope that one day again they will fit? Anyone else irrationally attached to a piece of clothing that doesn’t fit them? What do you think of the too-small clothing diet tip – do you find it disheartening or motivational?
I still have the jeans that I wore on my first date with my husband 17 years ago. They are my goal weight, and while I wasn't "skinny", I did look good. Despite them being a purplish velvet type, I'm still not throwing them away!!! Maybe when I fit in them again, I'll have to wear them to the Y and mortify all the gym buddies!
i used to hold onto all my "too-skinny" clothes and try to squeeze myself into them…all because they were a smaller number. and i'd get wayyy worked up if a size X wasn't the same as a size X in a different store.
so i have a "deal" with myself. if i don't wear a piece of clothing for 6 months, regardless of the reason, it goes to goodwill. if it's a sizing issue then i replace it and if not well then my closet becomes a little less decluttered.i don't know if i answered your question though hah!
I feel so old and unhip whenever I contemplate doling out money from my very limited clothes budget on jeans that already have holes in them. It is just so distressing (DISTRESSING, GET IT?!?!) to think about looking back on photos from these days 40 years from now.
I think you should keep a couple of jeans that are not too "fashion of one season", you never know.
I am glad I had been too lazy to clean my closet (it's full dressing-room), as I am back to the small size of clothes I was wearing 5 years ago. I didn't need to rebuy a full wardrobe imediatly when Winter arrived, I prefer getting new items progressively.
Half of my "small size" stock is now a bit alt-modish, but casual clothes and jeans are the easiest to "adapt".
I have clothes that were always too small, even the day I bought them thinking "they will fit after I slim down". That never works for me. I keep 3 items very visible to remind me : "Don't buy more !".
Dang! I was just going to go try on my skinny jeans to try and cheer myself up. (Seriously. Everyone else at WW is losing pounds, and I'm losing inches. I was trying to make myself feel better about this.)
Mmmmmmaybe I'll hold off on the sj's. The sight of a muffin top might be too much for me right now 🙁
I have too much to say but am too tired. (how's that for a LAME comment?)
I will say this though,
For the love of little green apples, you are THREE and you have man poops!
THAT made me laugh out loud.
AS much as I'd love to be able to let go of the skinny jeans in my drawer, I can't. I lugged them in a box from Canada and I have the EXACT same pair in a larger size that I'm wearing now. I am determined to fit into the skinny ones though. I'm not entirely sure why, because my current jeans look great and feel great but it's something about the skinny jeans.
I want to let them go. I really do. One day maybe…
So I don know if I'm the best person to give you advice!
lordy I could yammer forever on this one.
so I shall cut to the proverbial chase and say:
LUDICROUS
(hey, wasnt there a blog by that name once? :))
i swear sometimes i feel like you can see into my mind! i am STILL holding my never-achieved-skinny-jeans-not-even-when-I-was-crazy-ill in some sort of insane hope…..i'll throw mine out if you do……….
My eyes!!! Ugh, that second picture. Reminds me of a few guys from highschool. That can't be good for the family jewels.
I'm not one to wear my pants too tight and I try to avoid the low rise thing, but right now I'm forced to choose pants that either fit my tummy or my legs. Those that fit my post pregnancy tummy have my legs looking like Hammer pants. MC Hammer- remember those pants? But the smaller pants make it hard to breathe. But I'm working on it. Sort of. Well, I plan to. Now to tell my nursing appetite to bug off.
I have suits in 3 different sizes (since I often have to go to court for our legal clinic at school), and they are a pretty good incentive to watch what I eat. Suits are expensive, and I don't really feel like dropping $350 on a bigger suit, so I started going to the gym. Seriously, that is one of my incentives.
I have heard similar things from at least 3-4 of my female peers.
Unfortunately, I often end up just a little too big for one size, but too small for another (since obviously the sizes aren't consecutive, that'd make life too easy), so I'm usually trying to eat lots of candy before a trial, or killing myself trying to drop another 5 lbs. Plus, I'm short, so spending 8 hours trying to find a suit that is flattering on my chest/bum, yet the right length in the arms/legs is pretty time consuming, and I do not have 8 hours to waste looking for suits (though I wish I did).
Oddly, I thought the post was about skinny jeans the style, not as the 'ideal pair of jeans'.
I am also dealing with a major muffin top except I do not have the excuse of being post baby. I swear a I have a couple pairs of pants that have shrunk but it both enrages me and motivates me even though I know it is irrational. I am thought about throwing them out but then I will never know if I can fit into them again and continue to torture myself!
Once upon a time I decided to go back to school and get a Masters Foolishly, I took a full course load while working full time. One result of the madness was some weight gain, which was exacerbated by a knee injury. I held on to my skinny jeans suring the whole 2 1/2 year process of putting it on and then taking it off, until the day came when I was able to pull them on and button them up.
And they were so out-dated I immediately got rid of them.
They just took up space in my dresser for over two years. I always think of this when I'm debating buying/keeping a too small item of clothing.
Crap, Charlotte, where do you find these pics! That pic of the guy.. OMG!!!!! Too funny & gross all at the same time!
As far as I know, I don't have skinny jeans.. being 5'1" & a muscular body, not really made for them with my legs… they are not tiny by ay means! 🙂
I have 2 air of jeans that are at least 3 years old & I just keep wearing them over & over. Thank god they still fit!
Saying that, if I were tall & slender, I might consider it, I hate to say!
I still have a pair from pre-preg (youngest is almost 16). I just can't throw them out but have not tried them on in years. I am sentimental for certain clothes – have the shirt I wore on one of the first dates with my husband, my favorite vest from my power-working years (looked fierce under a navy suit back then – looks odd now).
When I did start to gain weight a few years back, I fought the new clothes thing hard. I bought stretchy pants to wear around the house or would buy cheap jeans on sale but would never spend money on nice jeans in my bigger size as I did not plan on staying there. Problem was that I wore those 'big' jeans almost every day (thankfully I work at home and my husband could care less). Rambling …
I would get rid of the jeans if they really only fit you at an unhealthy weight and replace them with a pair that will fit you at a healthy weight. Wasn't there a pair last year that made your bum look great that you already had? If not, search ebay and find yourself a new 'skinny' pair and plan to try them on after jelly bean is say, 8 months, 1 year, you get the idea.
When my daughters were 2 months old, I think I was still in pjs most of the day not quite knowing day from night and surely not caring about my size. If it did not already have baby spit up on it, it was good enough to put on. I think it was 6 months, after I was back at work and had worn the same black skirt almost every day with my suits that it was time to focus on my size. Give your body just a little bit of a break – it just went through quite an ordeal. (does that sound preachy? did not mean to be)
aboyn3girls – purple AND velvet?? Oh Imust see these!!
marathonmaiden – i love your six-month rule. I seriously need to implement that! If only just for reasons of good taste:)
Sahara – I know!! It's messed up, right??
Kuri – You are so sensible!! Love your 3-item idea.
Merry – That's AWESOME that you are losing inches!! Regardless of what the scale says that means you are building muscle which is better for your health anyhow:)
Gemfit – well at least we have each other:))
watching and weighting – oh no, a challenge!! I should take you up on this but I will have to think on it. Argh!
Amy – How is your new little one?? I hear you about the post-baby jeans weirdness. Nothing fits like it is supposed to! And the nursing appetite? My kids are lucky they're fast;)
M – So I'm thinking I need to buy some 300$ jeans!! I bet you look smokin' in your suits:)
Erika – you=me. So true
Oh Loey – you crack me up! That's probably exactly what will happen to me if I ever do fit in them again!
Jody – you look amazing! I think you could wear whatever you want!!
VaMomof2 – I have a t-shirt that I won on one of the first dates with my husband:) Some things you keep no matter if you ever wear them again:) And yeah – I think you're right. I just need to focus on wearing what fits right now.
Six months or get rid of them? No way; that doesn't even allow for seasonal changes!
Ha, ha, guilty as charged. I just bought a killer pair of black jeans at the thrift store last weekend that SHOULD fit if I eat light for a few more days…I normally wear a size 6 and these are size 4, but they're stretch jeans so I SHOULD be able to do it.
Yeah, if this crazy trend keeps up we will just end up using Latex paint!
I always liked the line:
"And though your dreams may toss and turn you now/They will vanish away like your Daddy’s best jeans/Denim Blue fading up to the sky…and the patches make the goodbye harder still," by Cat Stevens 🙂
I confess to keeping clothes hoping I will someday fit into them. The really tiny ones I have given away, but not the ones a size too small.
On another note…the picture of the guy in tight jeans. Holy cow! Is that what men do if they can't afford a vasectomy 'cause that has to do some damage.
I hate jeans right now.
A few years ago when baggy jeans were in, I was set.
My problem is that as a hockey player, I have rather sizable thighs. And when I wear "normal" jeans, my keys get jammed into my thighs all day long.
Even my Gap jeans that are labelled as "baggy" are barely good enough for me.
I can't even imagine the pain that would be involved if I tried to wear skinny jeans.
haha, Charlotte I got so excited thinking you hated the "skinny jeans" style. I feel like I am the only one who is not a fan. Anyway, Yes it took me about 3 years to throw out my "I can't fit into these pants unless all of my bones are showing". It was really hard for me because I thought i was giving up or failing, but now that they are gone, I feel so much less crazy! I'll let you know in 6 months how that 2 months post baby tummy is treating me. I'm sure I'll be crying 🙁
I'm too sentimental (and cheap) to toss favorite clothing items if they're just a little too small or too big. I've got about a 10 lb healthy range, and every now and then I rediscover an old pair of pants that now fit me again.
However, some TOUGH LOVE advice: take any pants that require an unhealthy, eating-disordered state of skinniness to fit in and GIVE THEM TO GOODWILL–NOW! They are not relevant to your life anymore that your children's clothes are. They are not "your" jeans, they are someone elses.
You have a beautiful healthy body–enjoy it!
I actually still have one pair of jeans from high school (which was the '80's) and one pair from college. I look at them now and wonder how I was ever that small. I'm sure even if they did fit, I wouldn't wear them; they are packed away at the bottom of a trunk in my spare room. Sort of a sentimental thing, I guess.
But yes, I do have a few pairs that are just a size or two too small and I hold on to them hoping that I might manage to fit into them again. I'm not sure it's really good for one's self-image to do that, but I don't seem to be able to let go.
I used to hate jeans. I never really understood how they made a soft material like cotton into a terrible cardboard like material that you needed to "break in." (yes, I'm the dork with the nylon zip-off pants)
And I REALLY didn't understand taking cardboard material and making it as tight and uncomfortable as possible.
As far as keeping them, I think it's silly to keep something that takes an already high level of discomfort to an absurd level. Why would you torture yourself like that??
Well i guess I do and I don't keep my skinny jeans. I let go of the super skinny ones, the ones where even my husband told me I was too skinny when I was able to fit into them. But I'm have been in the pregnancy/post baby phase of life for 7 years now. I have some expensive jeans and I'm not about to waste that kind of money buying new great jeans, so those are always my goal to get back into. And I've managed after each baby so I don't consider it an unrealistic goal to keep them around. Having a bunch of clothes I'll never be able to wear around would just depress me! As it is, I need to purge half my closet.
You don't have to be Kate Moss to look good in a pair of skinny jeans. All it takes is a well-toned body — which is, after all, the most important fashion accessory you can own, no matter how you dress. Perform this workout every other day to attack your trouble zones, and you'll shimmy into your pencil-legs with confidence in just six weeks.
that's a shirt? when I first saw the pic, I thought it was someone who got caught in the rain and was wearing a clear plastic bag as a makeshift raincoat.
and that pic of the man is gonna give me horrid nightmares.
Guilty! They still have tags on them!
They were designer clearance and I ordered them online. They were non-returnable and a size too small. At the time I was my thinnest ever-but though well maybe. Hah.
I might break down and give them to my niece who is now 13 and as tall as me (5'8") and weighs 98 pounds. But the thought of them being too big for her…akk.
Well, fashion IS cyclical, so maybe all those old clothes we're hanging on to will come back eventually. I mean, right now I look at the clothes all the kids are wearing and feel like it's 1987 all over again, and I'm in high school.
I REALLY don't like that feeling!
What makes me sad is that my "skinny" clothes are the ones I wore 4 years ago. *Sigh*
Hm, strange. I didn't even notice Miley's jeans in that photo. I'd like to write a post titled "I Hate Cobweb Tops."
Moving on… I'm really so unsentimental when it comes to my jeans, mainly because I wear 'em out pretty quickly. (My right leg is a 1/4 inch shorter than the left, so the bottom gets frayed like crazy. And I know I can get them hemmed, but hey.) As for my other clothes: work pants, shirt, sweaters and even PJs? I can't throw them away. They want to be squished into my closet.
I think it's time to get rid of them. Donate them and you'll make a pre-teen's day. I say pre-teen, because you've already stated that these jeans only fit at your unhealthy stage. Pre-teens don't have those womanly curves that have allowed you to birth such lovely children. 🙂
I think keeping them around only tempts you and you'll still have pictures from this time to show your daughter. Save a fashion mag instead. Plus, fashion often comes in circles–they might be hip again when she's your age! She'll get to see it for herself.
I also agree with the 6 month rule. Sometimes I stretch it to a year…..but still seems to work.
I wrote about fashion today too (great minds thinking alike again!) but my post is much fluffier. 🙂
I'm torn. I kept some of my stuff from college and then when I lost weight at about 23 to try and fit into when I was at my highest weight, and it was fun to work my way through them even though some were kinda out of style. The sad/happy thing is now I'm onto the only stuff I kept that fits/is a little too small is from middle school, which is horribly out of style.
I have one particular dress that's driving me crazy. I bought it in 1995 and it's this BEAUTIFUL hippie sundress, and it fits everywhere else except I have a much larger rib cage area now due to both increased muscle and bigger boobs and the damn thing just won't zip comfortably. My prom dress did the same thing. Maybe I should lay off the lunging rows? …nah. Don't care that much.
I have my "fit" jeans and my "sloppy" jeans. They're actually the same size, but from different companies with different cuts. The sloppy jeans can be worn any time I just want to be relaxed, but if the fit jeans are too tight (and honestly, they're a bit on the small side for my size), I know I need to get to work. I've never been tempted to buy clothing a size smaller for two reasons. One is that I never quite know how my proportions will flucuate with a weight change, and that matters with fitted clothes. The other is that I'm in decent shape now, and I'm short enough that going down a size threatens to put me in kid's clothes!
I don't see anything wrong with the practice of keeping clothing around that fits when at a smaller weight, as long as that weight is healthy. But I think you should get rid of any clothing that promotes an unhealthy weight–too big or too small!
The only motivation I find in the too-small-clothing diet is a motivation to go shopping at Lame Giant.
I have boxes and boxes of skinny clothes that "one day" I'm going to fit back into. Now that I'm a larger size I only buy the cheap-falls-apart-in-the-wash type clothes. I have one pair of Skinny Jeans in each the 3 sizes below my current size. Once a month (or thereabouts) I try on the next size down jeans. The ones at the smallest size are from the 80s and I barely fit into them as a skinny teenager so realistically I should donate them, but I just can't !
I don't obsess though which is OK.
I haven't read all of the comments, but for those of us whose bodies are just built with a little extra around the middle, it doesn't matter what size our pants are–we have muffin tops when nekkid!! I can put on a pair of pants 3 sizes too big that practically fall off and guess what? Yup, there's the muffin top. They're not always created by too-tight clothing! If you outlined me in chalk without any clothes at all, I'd have the muffin top!
True confession: I also have a pair of jeans that it is not likely I will ever wear again. (At least, not healthily.) And I can't bring myself to get rid of them. They sit in a box under my bed, along with a few slightly larger items (that I might have a shot at getting back into).
I'm not really sure if I'll ever get rid of them.
if you are actively trying to lose weight and not that far away from fitting into the clothes (or in your case have a brand new baby!) I think it's fine, and even a better motivator than the scale – we all know scales tend to lie!
On the issue of actual "skinny" jeans (as in the jeans that appear to be painted on), speaking as a "hippy" girl (and I don't mean hippy in the peace and love sense) skinny jeans are not my friend. They make me look ginormous. Forget muffin top, I look like a drumbstick!
My baby is 5 1/2 years and I am just now trying to get into things. You are doing great! As far as too small clothing motivation goes, I actually lost my Christmas mind shopping and picked up a too small jacket. It is my new motivation in 2010 to fit into it my August…or my daughters are gonna fight over it!
WOW. So on target for me!! All of my jeans are too big because of, um, well anyway they are just too big at the moment, but I am too scared to buy properly fitting ones because I anticipate the freak-out that would inevitable ensue once I can no longer where those because I've attained a weight which is healthier for me. Any more tips advice on how you finally relinquished your jeans?
I buy footless tights that are 2 sizes too big and wear them under my jeans, jack them up to my bra, and they hold everything in. 🙂
I had a pair of jeans that I could not let go. They fit horribly, and I had to have patches sewn into the crotch and thighs twice. My friends had a burning party for New Year's Eve one year. We all had to bring something to throw in the fire pit. One newly divorced girl burned her wedding album, another, her journal from a horrible few years in her life, a guy I didn't know threw in pics of his ex girlfriend, etc. I threw in my jeans…SO.CLEANSING…and wow, denim really goes up in flames. I had no idea. 🙂
Charlotte – I discovered your blog today and I really enjoy it!
Miley – oh lord what is that! The outfit's not too terrible from the front for a 16 year old but the back? yikes. Then again I cringe and my poufy hair and bad fashions from my teens so eh, live and learn.
That guy – I died laughing. that's just…oh man. and you KNOW he left his house thinking "I look damn good!" that morning
For jeans – I'll never understand the extreme muffin top. Of course every normal woman (especially post-babies) has a little extra something around the middle but the painted on faded denim with a huge gut cascading over the waistband? Oh that is the mark of a classy gal! Haha I am guilty though of keeping a slim cut suit that doesn't fit anymore because I'm still in love with it and maybe just maybe I'll be able to wear it again.
ps does anyone have any experience with "not your daughter's" jeans? I've seen them all over the tube lately and apparently they're amazing. I'm curious
For the record, Mylie is sporting the latest fashion: a fishing net! Jump on it girl!
Ah yes, the skinny jeans dilemma. I JUST threw out the most fab fab fab jeans. I bought them when I was slim (You can see me wearing them while sucking on my shake on my Last Ten Pounds post a few weeks ago). They were ridic. small for me- gave me a good old muffin top but the size was so vanitized that I hadddddd to buy them. Over the course of the last 3 yrs I would try them on just so that I had a reason to curl up in the fetal position and wail loudly. Then we had a HUGE clearout. And I looked at them. Gorgeous. Expensive. Tiny. History. Buh-bye.
Now I have a reasonable range of jeans sizes (still a range, mind you) but nothing silly-small. It's just not worth the torture. if I am rad enough to get that thin again, the least I can do for myself is go out and buy a smokin pair of jeans for myself, RIGHT?!!
Perhaps Miley is going for the international look with her jeans and not coming from the cloistered American viewpoint. The "muffin top" (as only American's call this) is actually considered quite sexy in many parts of the world – particularly in Latin America. Given the increase of the Latino population in the US it is not surprising that women (Miley perhaps?) is adopting a more international style.
While I respect your opinion and right not to wear this "look" I can't agree with your vilification of it.
The only time I've bought clothing too small and then worked my way into it was my wedding dress – no pressure hey!
When I lose weight, I get rid of all my bigger clothes – the moment that my size 14 jeans were too big, out they went. Now I'm working on my size 12s – they are baggy, but I'm not ready to go out and get my size 10s…
From one eating-disordered girl to another: your blog ROCKS!!
It's kind of sad but comforting to know that someone out there is going through what I have been going through since I was 13 (I'm 25 now… WAAAAY too long to have an eating disorder).
The past 5 years have been spent on recuperation. And this skinny jean post is hilarious b/c I measure some of my self worth by how well I fit in jeans from 4 years ago.
I just may think about getting rid of those old jeans.
=)
I think you're so right. That poor man's jeans are way too tight. Don't want to see all that. Oh! And now holes in shirts are gaining popularity. Just silly.
Skinny jeans can look great, to avoid the muffin top the trick is to buy a size or two larger!
They are very feminine and i think they look odd on men, almost as strange as a man wearing a miniskirt(how long before that happens?). But the trend is for men to become much more feminised, long styled hair, handbags, diamond ear rings etc. The thing that annoys me most about skinny jeans and winkle pickers etc is that the people who wear thwem think they are being 'unique' or 'different' yet there are thousands of other clones who look the same wearing these comical clothes. The trend its self is even fueled by large corporate boring pop bands, big brands and large chains of shops so essentially they are just wearing what they are told to be fat middle aged business men in board rooms for the sake of shareholders payouts and big bonuses. Whats unique about that? Its about as original as drinking coca cola or being born.
If you have room in your closet hold onto them, cause what’s the hurt? Best of luck with losing the post-baby weight.
I am just glad you posted the pic of Miley. I have been trying to tell friends for years why I despise ill-fitting skinny jeans (that’s most skinny jeans). They can make a size 0 look fat with that muffin top overhang!!