“Tell me I’m not angry for no reason!!!” was the subject line on an e-mail from Gym Buddy Lindsey. I tried to imagine what would be so upsetting as to require the use of a double negative and extraneous punctuation. That it continued with “I’m so pissed!!!!!!!!!!” only made me more intrigued. (And more entertained – you have to know Lindsey, she’s a very passionate person! We’re friends for good reason is all this tempest-in-a-teapot is saying.) She writes, “I just saw a commercial of a girl no older than fifteen talking about how she didn’t fit in at school because she was overweight, but “after joining this diet program, she fits in with friends.” I believe it’s wonderful to be healthy and to promote healthy habits, but by appealing to kids by saying they won’t fit in unless the scale says a smaller number is a blunt way of saying “you’ll never be good enough.””
I checked out the site of the popular diet company (so popular that if a local radio station doesn’t quit mentioning it every 5 minutes I’m going have to find a new morning show, AHEM) that she referenced and sure enough they have a whole section of their site dedicated to “Young Adult Success Stories” with pictures of young – some very young – looking kids along with a blurb about how they feel after losing XX pounds. Oh, and of course their “before” and “after” weights are listed. Indeed, one girl who looks about 14 writes, “Before I lost weight on the program I always thought I was going to be the “big one” in the crowd. I wanted to lose weight so I would have more self esteem and fit in with the other kids in my class. After losing 25 pounds on the program I am happier, healthier and feel more comfortable about being Me.”
My heart breaks for her. The teen years are transformative and also traumatic. On one hand, being the “fat kid” sucks. While I didn’t have this particular issue in high school – don’t worry I had lots of other things to shatter my self-esteem! – it doesn’t take much understanding to recognize how horribly many overweight teens are treated. MTV even has an entire show, “I Used To Be Fat“, dedicated to just this premise. No one can blame “Taylor T” for wanting to shed the pounds and fit in. But on the other hand, tying her ability to “be Me” to her weight is a very slippery slope and one that many an adult woman has wished they’d never started down. And of course there’s the issue of using teenagers to pimp weight-loss products. It’s one thing to see Kirstie Alley shake her moneymaker in the Jenny Craig commercials but quite another to see the sweet face of a teen awkwardly hunched in that trying-so-hard-to-look-casual way. Many of our “Me”s are so fragile when we’re young. Heck I even get a little worried when I see Jennifer Hudson schilling for Weight Watchers even though she’s technically an adult now.
The “obesity epidemic” is already one of the most controversial topics you can bring up but if you want to really rile people up talk about childhood obesity. Michelle Obama didn’t pick that as her platform on accident. Everyone from Jamie Oliver and his Food Revolution to the checker at your local grocery store who eyes all the boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups you are buying (I swear they were for a craft project for preschool! They cut shapes out of them! And then stick them to stuff! They’re very sticky!!) has an opinion about what we feed our kids and how to teach them about food.
In one corner you have the The Children Are Fine camp that advocate a more hands-off approach to kids’ weight. If a child is soothed with an ice cream bar then so be it, food is an emotional experience. And if a child chunks up a bit, well they’re probably going to hit a growth spurt soon. Plus the more you make food an issue the less able they are to listen to their natural hunger cues – something kids are born good at. At least until we train it out of them.
In the other corner you have the Early Intervention camp that points out the mental, physical and social toll that being overweight takes on a child and figures that the sooner you nip bad behavior in the bud the easier it will be to correct. Sure kids are good at choosing to eat what they need but our obesogenic environment can drown out their natural cues and so we need to teach them. Our society is so un-vigilant with food and exercise these days that parents and doctors feel they need to be hyper-vigilant, even if that means intervening as young as two. And after all, what’s wrong with teaching kids about healthy food and exercise?
No matter which methodology you subscribe to, the social impacts of being overweight can’t be ignored and so it makes sense from a marketing perspective to use that desire to be liked to lure in a whole new demographic of dieters into their multi-billion dollar machine. Orson Scott Card wrote a short story about what would happen if there were machines that fed you any kind of delectable food you wanted and then other machines that would magically make the accumulated fat disappear. How would society react if our weight was entirely under our control? In the story people stopped caring so much about who was fat or thin, mostly because it was so easy to be either. Of course, being Orson Scott Card, it also turned out that aliens had set up the magic machines and were using them to farm humans for fat which they then turned into energy, disposing of the humans once their fat potential had been drained. (There are a lot of societies disastrously lost to Science Fiction, just saying.) My point – besides the fact that Orson Scott Card rivals Ray Bradbury for writing deeply unsettling fiction (Don’t believe me? Read “The Shepard.” I still get a full body shiver every time I think about it.) – is that if the social stigma were taken away from being overweight then we’d be able to see using teens in diet ads for the ridiculous ploy that it is.
Honestly I still haven’t figured out which camp I’m in when it comes to teaching my kids about healthy eating. I vacillate between both extremes – I let my kids have doughnuts for breakfast this morning because a friend brought them over and I was too tired to object and yet there hasn’t been a fruit snack, can of pop or even white crackers in our house in years. (Nothing says great parenting like inconsistency!) But I do know that I want my kids to know that I will love, adore and accept them no matter what they weigh and using kids in diet advertisements feels like it undermines that message.
How do you feel about using kids in weight-loss advertisements? Is it providing a much-needed service helping teens get healthier or is it just one more way to make them feel bad about themselves? Do you prefer early intervention or a wait-and-see approach for kids? Do you have a favorite-yet-ookie Sci Fi writer??
Warning: Soap box issue targeted.
I’m with your friend in that using kids in weight-loss advertisements is right on par with pandering to kids with cigarette ads. Like cigarettes, targeting teens with weight-loss schemes is a silent killer; they may not be the direct cause, but both lead to cancerous growth … one physically, one mentally. Adolescence is rough and most of us come out of it with a few scars. But weight issues can be damaging for life if not handled properly.
Teens are already indoctrinated with images and messages that lead them to feel self conscious with out actually telling them right out and weight-loss companies are the worst offenders. Take before and after pictures; the before always portrays a miserable looking person looking as if they just got off the couch and haven’t showered in days. Right away it instills shame. Then the after flashes up with a person not only thinner, but happier, fresh out of the shower and fully “made over.” It sets us up to believe that with one body shape we will be unhappy, and we can’t be happy until we have the other one. It’s hard enough to get over that and not respond as an adult. Imagine being a teenager and seeing that.
We need to be focusing on teaching our kids to be healthy. Period. No matter what weight that is at. Eating nutritious food, moderation with fats and sugars, physical activity as an every day part of life … those are the messages we should send our kids. Those are the messages we need to send ourselves. Not that weight loss products will solve their problems. It isn’t a question of early intervention or wait and see. It’s about establishing a healthy foundation for the entire family. In my opinion obesity isn’t the problem in the U.S. It’s a total lack of understanding when it comes to nutrition and health. Even thin people are malnourished most of the time because they do crazy things to be thin; and I unequivocally put myself into this category (the “does crazy things to be thin” category). But we have to change that. We have to take body size out of the equation and focus on total health. Having a child of my own has made me realize that. I know I am my son’s biggest role model and it would kill me if my children inherited my body issues because I couldn’t get it together and practice what I preach. With all my knowledge of nutrition and fitness, I know better. I’m working on shifting my paradigm too.
Oh, and Orson Scott Card takes the cake for disturbing but can’t put it down sci-fi. I read “Ender’s Game” and “Ender’s Shadow” every few years to get my fix.
This is perfect: ” It’s about establishing a healthy foundation for the entire family. In my opinion obesity isn’t the problem in the U.S. It’s a total lack of understanding when it comes to nutrition and health.”
And this is so poignant: “I know I am my son’s biggest role model and it would kill me if my children inherited my body issues because I couldn’t get it together and practice what I preach.”
It is hard to change the thin-at-all-costs paradigm – you know I’m working on that one too!
Mmmm all I know is that as a young chubby kid (not fat just slightly bigger than the norm), I was often told to lose weight and I’m pretty sure it contributed to much of the disorded eating that I’m still working on correcting.
I think that the problem was that the focus was never on how I felt physically or how healthy I was, it was always on how I looked. My struggle now is to view the choices I make through the lens of how something will make me feel rather than how something will make me look ie.exercising for the mood lift rather than the calories burned.
Perhaps helping kids make healthy choices would be better executed if the focus was on helping them eat intuitively rather than making them slimmer??
Excellent point – I totally agree that the emphasis should be on health and not looks. This: “I think that the problem was that the focus was never on how I felt physically or how healthy I was, it was always on how I looked.” breaks my heart! I’m glad you are figuring it out now.
I don’t have a problem if they use kids in weight loss advertisements but I do have a problem when they use phrases like: ” fit in with the other kids” or “High School is Fun Again”. I have a problem with this phrases because this let teenagers believe that if they do lose weight, they are going to be happier which is not true. One can lose the weight but still be unhappy. Happiness is about emotions, not weight.
True – I think a lot of adults have that mentality too, that everything will finally be great if they can just lose the weight. I know I’ve had that thinking at times.
Rather than comment on the issue – I’m sure plenty of readers will cover similar points I would – I have a couple SciFi writers I’d like to point out:
1. Sheri Tepper: Fantastic eco-feminist science fiction…some rather disturbing stuff, particularly in Six Moon Dance…but so good too!
2. Chine Mieville: amazing writing…I’m not sure his brain is from the same planet as everyone else’s – where he comes up with these ideas?!?! – but I sometimes find it actually difficult to keep reading, I get so uncomfortable – try The Scar. It’ll creep you out, yet mesmerize you at the same time
3. Neil Gaiman – ever see Coraline the movie? Well, read the book and realize it ain’t for kiddies 🙂 I believe one of the reviews states “scariest book every written”. I have a similar reaction in “having to force myself to read some of his work to get the experience of the awesome stories” that I get from Mieville in some of his work. It’s so hard to explain why – it isn’t gory or anything…just…it prompts a deeply visceral reaction).
Thanks so much for the recs! I haven’t seen Coraline but I added these to my list!
I have mixed feelings about this. While I don’t like the idea of kids in commercials and ads for weight loss centres, I really think that overweight children should get the help and support they need to loose weight and be healthy while they’re young. I was a chubby kid who became a chubby adult. Its only now at the age of 30 that I’m starting to feel like I have this whole healthy lifestyle thing under control. I could have avoided a lot of miserable mornings feeling unhappy about my body if I had taken control of my weight when I was younger.
” I could have avoided a lot of miserable mornings feeling unhappy about my body if I had taken control of my weight when I was younger.” I think a lot of adults feel this way. Esp. as a parent, I would do anything to help my kids avoid feeling bad about themselves.
Man, talk about a controversial post topic!! I don’t have time to write as long a comment as I wish I could, but I think the ‘solution’ is somewhere in between the two. I think there needs to be some level of ‘letting kids be kids’ but also teaching them how and why to eat healthy so they can make proper decisions when they are old enough. I just don’t think ‘letting kids be kids’ should cross the line from the occasional treat into a lifestyle of crap because that’s when you run into problems. A lot of eating is a learned behavior and teaching kids to reward (and seek comfort) with food can start down the oh-so-familiar slippery slope…. who knows though. I don’t have kids so I shouldn’t talk HAH
Hahah – I think you will be a great mom someday. Your answer sounds very reasonable to me!
I feel the same was a poster Kathryn above. When I was younger, I was often told that I needed to “be careful”, that I was getting chubby or soft or whatever, and I grew into a teen with pretty severe self-image and -esteem issues, and then into an older team with even more severe disordered eating issues. And of course a lot of it was baby fat, and looking back now, oh how I wish I had realized just how “normal” my weight was back then! It might have saved me packing an extra 75 pounds onto my ideal weight (that I’m just able to chip away at now — 50 gone so far!)
I feel that kids get enough pressure from the media, their celebrity icons, and the cliques that form in their schools that they don’t need yet another source telling them that they need to fit into a certain pant size or look a certain way. Obviously childhood obesity is a humongous problem in America, but the emphasis for these kids should be their health, listening to their bodies, and learning to love whole foods and clean eating instead of candy and junk food. Not eating diet meals, “learning” how to go hungry, or any other diet techniques. I’m sure they’ll get enough of that when they’re older anyway.
Children are vulnerable by their very nature so I think you make a good point about how what works for an adult may not be appropriate for a child, even if does produce the same result.
I checked out the site and it seems legit. It sounds like they are teaching theses kids skills to eat healthy for life and offering emotional support. It is just reality that you do feel better about yourself when you are at a healthy weight. Plus teens feel a huge amount of pressure to fit in. I think it can be a very positive thing so long as the focus is on eating for health and not dieting to fit in.
I do regularily allow my kids to have treats. I grew up in a house with parents that were really into diet and exercise and we (my siblings and I) would go nuts around junk food. (snacks at our house were things like rice cakes and raw nuts- totally gross to kids!) I think it is better for kids to see junk food as nothing special, and allowing them to eat it in moderation instills that.
Sierra, I want to say something about your comment that kind of disturbs me. I’m not arguing against your point of view, that is entirely your right to believe what you wish, and you’ve expressed it clearly and politely and very reasonably. That is much appreciated.
But I see similar language on WL and fitness sites all the time – “It is just a reality that you do feel better…” and it doesn’t really matter how that sentence ends. It’s not a “reality”; it’s your opinion – and you can’t speak for other people. I totally believe you when you say “*I* feel better when *I* am at a healthy weight” but I think we should be careful about projecting our beliefs onto others, and assuming everyone thinks the same way, or that our own beliefs are “the” one and only truth.
I don’t mean it to sound like I’m picking on you or flaming, I really don’t intend it that way.
wonderful response Maya ! way to not make it snarky! This is how people should discuss things 🙂
(i’m not being sarcastic, btw!!)
I agree – both with speaking to your own reality and in the respectful tone that you did it. Thanks girl!!
My problem with the site wasn’t their message per se – like you pointed out they are advocating a healthy lifestyle – but rather that the kids’ testimonials didn’t match that. It seemed they were saying the right things but underneath it was the same ol’ same ol’, you know?
I see these types of problems as symptoms of a disease, our obesogenic society. .Until the underlying problems are addressed, it will just keep on keeping on 🙁
Did you see the childhood obesity ads that were released and then retracted?
I think those are far worse… Attaching stigma and disgust.
As for this issue: I don’t necessarily believe that your weight as a young child is a fabulous predictor of your weight as an adult — my parents used to call me Moose Meat and Chunky Monkey… and by the time I was in the 4th or 5th grade I was slimmed out (not tiny, but average). My mother grew up incredibly slim/slender and in adulthood became obese.
and… I feel like there’s some exploitation happening of the children in the ads and normalization of children or young adults on diets.
However, looking at this from the other side, I wonder if this is just not a reflection of what statistics and surveys have already been telling us that children younger and younger are worried about losing weights and concerned with their bodies… If children were not so aware and so tuned into those things (as a result of the society we live in) this probably would not be an issue
Also, I’m not really a proponent of diets in general (sorry as I know you have SlimFast ads on your page atm) – my mother used to go on all of those fad diets… Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Slim Fast, Atkins (multiple times) — she would lose the weight and gain it right back… now she’s focusing more on portion size and exercise and yes, she’s losing the weight slower.. but she’s keeping it off.
wow this was jumbled… sorry
What?! No I didn’t see those! How could I have missed that – it’s right up my alley!
And thank you for sharing your experience – I think a lot of women will relate as many of us have very similar histories.
http://www.obesityaction.org/childhoodobesitystigma.php
they’re pretty horrific (in my opinion)
I don’t like seeing kids in weight loss commercials, because at such a young age they need to learn about lifestyle, not a diet.
When I watch weight loss shows and see someone about my size just “NEEDING” to lose 10 pounds, it makes me feel horrible. How do kids with great self esteem feel when they see these commercials or ads?
I think that there is probably a very important place for nutrition and general health education for kids. I know that they aren’t getting it in school (because there’s no standardized test on nutrition, sadly), so there probably need to be opportunities and facilities to learn it somewhere else — otherwise, they’ll just learn it all on the streets! (kidding … sort of) But using teenagers in ads seems irresponsible for all the reasons people have already enumerated, so I won’t repeat them. I wonder what sort of incentive or compensation teens have for appearing in these commercials. Personally, I cringe every time I see a photo of me when I was heavier. I wouldn’t want it plastered all over the internet.
and whether or not it is the kids themselves benefiting or the parents.
and can you imagine still being in school – the odds of classmates seeing that you were in an obesity campaign ad or a weightloss ad?
stigma and teasing. guaranteed
You’re right – they are not getting a solid health foundatoin in school. Mostly I think because people in general are so confused about what exactly constitutes good health and how to get there. Hard to teach our kids when we’re all so confused ourselves! And I hadn’t considered that the kids might have been remunerated… that changes things!
I know exactly what commercials you are talking about and they bug me too! I don’t mind that they are using a high school student, but what the student says is what bothers me. You don’t need to lose weight to fit in.
I can see both philosophies. I do believe that if children (without exceptional medical issues )are fed healthy food the majority of the time and sugar as an occasional treat, and are active they will be a healthy weight. They won’t all look exactly the same – some will be bean poles and others a little plumper, but all healthy. There usually isn’t a problem until the junk gets out of control along with the screen time. And it’s not just weight, there are a lot of dental problems with this lifestyle as well.
When a child’s weight gets to the point that it interferes with normal childhood experiences and health is at risk, I do believe that intervention is important. If the kid can’t run with his friends, ride a bike, go on the scout camp hike, ride a horse if he wants to, fit in the roller coaster, etc. something should be done. It’s about health, not popularity. It’s usually just eating right and exercising along with growth spurts to correct the problem. And if the child has emotional eating issues, then the emotional issues need to be addressed as well.
I have known parents with teenagers try to tell their kids that they look fine and that’s just their body type and they should embrace it. This wasn’t about a little padding here and there. These kids weighed twice what was normal for their height and age. The kids lost all respect for their parents because they knew that they were liars. They still felt horrible about themselves. No kid is going to outgrow anything when the problem is that out of control. It will lead to a life of health problems that ends early.
I don’t think anyone would disagree with you that lying to your kids about their health issues is a good idea. This: “When a child’s weight gets to the point that it interferes with normal childhood experiences and health is at risk, I do believe that intervention is important.” is true. The problem I think is deciding exactly what that intervention should be and if a diet program is really the best way to teach healthy habits.
I was a fat teen and right now I’m recovering from BED. I hope when I have kids I’ll be middle of the road–teaching my kids to sooth themselves without food, making sure my kids eat healthy, but if they really want a doughnut to not stress about it. I also hope by then my relationship with exercise is healthy and I’ll be able to show my kids a wide range of activities they can do if they choose. I don’t want either food or activity to be seen as punitive like when I grew up.
Charlotte are you a fan of Dr. Who? Did you see the episode with the diet pills and the blobs of fat that popped out of people’s bodies? Cute and creepy! I’m also reading The Windup Girl here soon set in a future where natural food is scarce–I wonder how people’s attitudes about food differ wants it is a scarce commodity.
“I wonder how people’s attitudes about food differ wants it is a scarce commodity.” I actually think about this quite a lot! It’s an interesting mental exercise and one I hope not to live out in my lifetime;) And no, I don’t watch Dr. Who but after this I think I must!
Oh and I tried to tweet this and discovered it goes to Ryan — “via @nomorebacon” — instead of you
Buwhahah! Will fix! Thanks!
Honestly, I think there’s a middle ground between early intervention and wait-and-see; that’s just having the parents live a healthy lifestyle, with moderation, so the kids learn how to do it also. It’s not intervention, but it’s not wait-and-see. I think a lot of times obese kids come from obese families, so it’s a family lifestyle issue, not solely a child issue.
I know my parents meddling really just messed with my self-esteem, and perhaps if my mom had stopped stocking pop-tarts for breakfast they wouldn’t have felt the need to make the comments they made? All I’m saying is that when l live at home/ go home for a visit, I always gain weight. Always. But when I’m alone + halfway across the country (where I eat in restaurants more frequently, and live 1/2 block away from a cupcake shop) I manage to maintain my weight, even through exams. I think the issue (for me) is processed foods, which my family loves, but I really really avoid. When we were younger, my dad always took us on long bike rides along the lakefront, and we were involved in lots of sports, so our family didn’t have the worst lifestyle- we just had a lot of processed food too.
And, I don’t know how I feel about children/teens in weight loss ads. I think I’m generally undecided about advertising to children, because the effects are variable. I know Quebec bans advertising to children entirely, because when I lived there, then went home/elsewhere, there was a marked difference in media. But, I will fall on the side of damaging, because I think generally children don’t have the media literacy required to weed the good from the bad, or note when corporations are being opportunistic (which they usually are…but I mean particularly so, to they point when they’re really preying on the children).
So true about our home environment being a huge determinant of our health habits. And I wish they’d ban advertising to children here too!
I’m not sure where I stand on this one.
I know I wish someone had offered me this when I was a fat kid – but this takes more than a diet to fix. IFfthey aren’t working with the whole family to be healthier, it might not really last. I dont’ want teens feeling even more awkward than they already do or feeling bad because they’re fat – but if they want to change the fact that they’re fat? Why not? It could be very empowering. Learning to be healthy when you are young could change your whole life. I wish I’d figured it out years ago, personally…
Very poignant: “I know I wish someone had offered me this when I was a fat kid ” I would guess that the kids in the ad would agree with your assessment.
I hate seeing kids in ads for weight loss programs/products. Most of them are temporary fixes, and teach kids to focus solely on their weight and not on their health. I’m all for teaching kids how to make healthy choices, with the caveat that “healthy” includes a treat once in a while (hence the word “treat.”)
The problem goes much deeper. On the one hand advertisers shill products like Lucky Charms and green ketchup toward kids while on the other, parents and healthcare professionals try to get them to eat their veggies. And advertisers have more money to spend to get their message across. But as parents, we have more time to spend with our kids, and kids tend to model their behavior on what we do, rather than what anyone says.
So I guess the best thing we can do is lead by example. If we’re able to eat mostly healthy stuff (without taking it to extremes), get out with the kids for walks or bike rides or what have you, teach them that a person’s worth is NOT based on how they look, and try not to obsess too much, our kids might just turn out OK.
Oh, and I also love me some OSC! But my favorite story is “A Sound of Thunder” by Ray Bradbury, about a man who travels back to the prehistoric age, accidentally steps on a butterfly, and completely changes the future.
I think you summed up the difficulties wonderfully with this: “On the one hand advertisers shill products like Lucky Charms and green ketchup toward kids while on the other, parents and healthcare professionals try to get them to eat their veggies. And advertisers have more money to spend to get their message across. But as parents, we have more time to spend with our kids, and kids tend to model their behavior on what we do, rather than what anyone says.”
I hate the idea of kids in the adverts for weight loss. If kids need to use them under the supervision of a doctor, they don’t need to see a child projecting their own insecurity to identify with. It’s too easy to pick up on these ideas and cling to them.
It would be best to adjust the diet in the home and the number and amount of servings. (easier said than done)
Interesting. I definitely think putting kids in ads and marketing diets towards kids and teens is wrong, obesity epidemic or not. I was a very heavy, overweight teenager and trust me – that makes it much, much worse. And to those who think you don’t have to lose weight to fit in – well, not from where I was sitting. Sure, I had friends and I was relatively happy – but I was always on the “fringe” of it all, and I know a large part of that had to do with my weight. The basic message of those ads, while it sounds wrong, is true – and it continues through adulthood. Ever hear of those studies that thinner people get hired more, paid more, more opportunities than their similarly experienced obese counterparts? To a certain extent, you *do* need to fit into societal norms of how one should look – or at least not be too far outside them.
I think that it’s not kids who need teaching, however – it’s adults. We teach our kids our attitudes, whether purposely or not. They need to learn to eat real food, how to cook, that treats are “sometimes” foods and not all the time foods, and especially – that if someone is chubby (or thin), it’s not something we comment on, period. Weight/looks talk should be avoided as much as possible.
This: ” think that it’s not kids who need teaching, however – it’s adults. We teach our kids our attitudes, whether purposely or not.” is so true! And you do make an important – if depressing – point about how obese people are marginalized in our society.
I was a little chubby as a teen (not technically overweight, but not healthy at all), and I kind of wish my parents, or somebody, had taught me proper nutrition and about diet and exercise. My parents were more of the, “Eh, they’ll figure it out” types and basically let me eat french fries and spaghetti whenever I wanted.
I ended up taking a nutrition course in college, and it opened up an entirely new lifestyle for me! Now I’m active and healthy(ish…stupid thyroid) and can do so many things that I wish I had started in high school. And if I had started in high school, I wouldn’t have wasted the “most attractive” years of my life being slightly pudgy, because as we all know, it’s all downhill after 21 ; ).
That said, I absolutely do not think that self esteem should be based on how you look., and the fact that those ads imply that does bug me. But I don’t think aiming weight loss programs at teens is a bad thing in and of itself; it’s just a resource for teens who are struggling, which I think is good. I just wish their message didn’t reinforce the insecurities that shouldn’t be there to begin with.
I wish too that I’d know more about health, nutrition and exercise as a teen and pre-teen. I think the problem though is that parents and schools are so confused about what actually constitutes “health” and the best way to be “healthy” that they end up sending a lot of mixed messages to kids. It’s hard to teach our kids what we don’t understand ourselves…
And “after 21…” my butt! You spring chicken!!
Ads like that make me want to run away screaming. I didn’t even think about clicking on those links. I just think this is so wrong. It’s the same issue I have with “I Used to be Fat”. You do not take children whose bodies (and minds!) are not fully developed and feed them this stuff. No pun intended. Emotionally and physically they’re not equipped for it.
I’m all for healthy living. My parents were awesome at that. They stocked healthy foods, for the most part no sugar cereals or soda or anything and I still eat that way (okay, minus my diet coke addiction) and we did things like family walks. Treats were just that, special things that didn’t happen every day but were welcome. And I still ended up the fat kid. Part of it was my body type (my mom has always struggled with her weight), part of it’s binge eating issues (I’m just programmed that way), and a small part of it was watching what my mom did in terms of her weight struggles (not what she said). The thing is I had a lot of friends, I was in a lot of extracurricular activities, and I really enjoyed school. Is it that I never wished to be skinnier? Of course not. But being a fat kid didn’t ruin my life. My parent’s focus was on being healthy, never weight, and they never made my weight an issue. Maybe I was just lucky but being the fat kid was a minor irritation at most. What ruined my life was anorexia.
Here’s the thing. Telling a child they need to lose weight isn’t going to give them an eating disorder (though you can certainly set them up for a lifetime of disordered eating patterns). But in those who have a genetic predisposition for eating disorders showing them a diet ad like that or focusing on their weight can be all the trigger they need. I hate my body a thousand times more now at a normal weight post-anorexia than I ever did as “the fat kid”. People claim that this is helping kids who are obese. I would argue that point but even assuming that’s true, what about the ones who are at a risk for eating disorders? Who’s helping them?
Very good point about EDs. I know a lot of (most?) girls for whom diets were their entry into ED. This: ” I hate my body a thousand times more now at a normal weight post-anorexia than I ever did as “the fat kid”.” breaks my heart but I know exactly what you mean. I told a reporter once that I had “hated” my body even at my thinnest and wanted to lose more weight and she replied “oh certainly you didn’t HATE yourself -you were just dissatisfied.” And I was like, “No, it was pure unadulterated hate.” It’s a horrible feeling.
this is such a tough subject, and one that really can only be figured out on a case by case basis. Some families believe in the “tough love” approach, and their kids are able to take that without cracking under the pressure, wherease some parents find that their children are too sensitive, and might not fare as well if their food choices are scrutinized . My parents chose to feed us healthy foods based on the fact that my sister at the time was dealing with cancer, and this was our way to fight with her, by trying to keep our bodies healthy. In truth, her illness was such an integral part in our health as a family. It helped at a young age to realize that our bodies are fragile, and that they need to be nourished. Of course, the world and society will always try to find a way to creep in, but that is life, and how we deal with that is what’s important. I think if we keep striving to make it about NUTRITION and not WEIGHT LOSS then that might help kids to realize WHY they are eating healthy.
Good point about needing to take the individual personality of the child into account!
I don’t think companies should be allowed to market weight loss to kids. It should be “healthy living” in more of a public service type format. (but I guess that won’t make them money). I don’t ban much from my own kids – I just don’t buy the junk instead. Like no soda in the house, but if we’re at a restaurant? Sure, you can have it. It’s a treat, just like candy, ya know? So anywaaaay. I’m finding that the more of a walking example I am to my children, that’s what sticks with them the most. My athlete kid makes better food choices than I do sometimes. It’s sinking in.
” I’m finding that the more of a walking example I am to my children, that’s what sticks with them the most.” True – kids are SO observant of what we do compared with what we say:) Plus, you have the cutest kids EVER!
I have difficulty with the attention childhood obesity is getting. On the one hand- yes, children are getting fatter and that, in turn, is causing terrible illnesses (diabetes, heart disease). Therefore, it is important to recognize childhood obesity as a problem. On the other hand, is all this focus on childrens’ weight detrimental? Are we causing children to be obsessed with their weight?
Where is the line between nutrition and exercise education versus fat shaming?
Sadly I think nearly everyone is obsessed with weight these days. If not their own then someone else’s.
Hmmm. Okay, first of all, in regards to that specific website, since when do people take ‘gimmicks’ so seriously? That website is dated, cheesy and has typos everywhere. Those kids look like they were photoshopped to hell (seriously, I don’t think there’s a before/after going on here, it’s just different clothes and positioning and a ton of photoshop), and quite frankly, probably did not write those cheesy blurbs.
Secondly, all of the ‘blurbs’ say something like “ready for college!” or talk about how he played better sports. None of them say “now boys like me!” or “I have self-worth!”, so I’m not sure what’s wrong with a fat kid wanting to play sports or feel ready for college.
I guess I just find it laughable that we are more concerned with hurting a child’s feelings for five minutes than we are with allowing them to grow up unhealthy, self conscious, and on the path to adult obesity. I’m not talking about a few pounds of baby fat, I’m talking about the millions of morbidly obese kids. What is all this talk about ‘they might develop an eating disorder’…HELLO?! If a child is obese before they even reach puberty, they HAVE an eating disorder. The sad thing is, at that age, it’s not even their fault. Children are resilient, and what’s going to scar them more, a few months of healthy living, or an entire childhood of being teased and taunted, not fitting into clothes, not keeping up with other kids at sports, etc?
I also find it disturbing that people need to complain ALL THE TIME about photoshopping and how it’s a bad influence on kids and instills poor self-esteem and so on. Where are these people when it comes time to lobby against big corporations for their unethical way of promoting and selling cheap, subsidized ‘food’ products? Let’s complain about that instead of some models on a runway. These parents will complain that magazines are giving their daughters eating disorders, but don’t think about the vending machines in schools, the tv commercials advertising food for kids, etc. This is the real problem, and eating/image problems happen when the ‘health lifestyle’ becomes something you need to ‘impose’ on your children rather than the norm.
I agree that we should devote more attention to cleaning up our kids nutritional environment (amen to getting rid of the vending machines!) than we do to diet ads/magazines. However, I find this: “I guess I just find it laughable that we are more concerned with hurting a child’s feelings for five minutes than we are with allowing them to grow up unhealthy, self conscious, and on the path to adult obesity.” a little disingenuous. I think there are lots of ways to help overweight/obese kids without hurting their feelings anymore than they already are.
wow, lots of good comments and discussion. I agree w/ the gal who said that it’s when kids start saying “I fit in now” and “I’m happier or have more friends”. as if they can’t fit in when overweight. The focus DOES need to be on being at a healthy weight for HEALTH reasons. NOT b/c you can be prettier/have more boyfriends. one gal at high school was part of the “popular” crowd and she was overweight.
this is a tough subject. I work mostly with young athletes, but we have a GROWING population of overweight kids who have never played sports and their parents just want A) physical activity and B) build their confidence… confidence that they can do things, not by losing weight but by just giving them a chance and BELIEVING in them. i’ve seen some kids go through weight loss and it has changed their life. but not BECAUSE of the weight loss, but b/c they were given a chance and someone supported and loved them DESPITE of their heavy weight.
I really like this: “but b/c they were given a chance and someone supported and loved them DESPITE of their heavy weight.”
I sort of have a post about this tomorrow Charlotte but not quite – just the craziness with poor kids.
Tough subject. I still feel that if parents can create an atmosphere in the home of healthy eating from early on but also not the crazy talk of diets & bad food & all that, kids would grow up much better but we all know that asking for that is a fairy tale because so many of us adults have issues & kids see & hear even though we think they don’t. I wish I knew the answer but the best we can do is be aware & try to make things better.
The problem is that advertising, in general, is very manipulative and mainly works by trying to make people feel inadequate as they are. It’s not restricted to weight loss products or those for teens, but young people are doubtless more vulnerable. I remember hearing a radio ad about a decade ago, in which two boys were saying they’d like to ask out a girl who was smart and friendly and had a great personality. Then the announcer cut in and stated, “You know people don’t care about those things.” Turns out it was an ad for acne cream. Blatantly, distastefully manipulative, as these weight loss ads sound. I think that the teen years are difficult for many kids, slim or chubby, and a lot don’t feel like they fit in. I was thin, and certainly did not fit in…but I don’t think there are any products for geeky girls whose parents moved around all the time. While not fitting in, I read way too much SF–on Charlotte’s topic, the short novel “Biting the Sun” by Tanith Lee comes to mind. In that society people could change their appearance to be whatever they wanted, so body shape and all the rest was just seen as a fashion statement. They found other ways to be shallow and make themselves miserable, of course.
First – am totally going to check out that novel! Thanks for the rec!!
Second – this is a very astute observation: “The problem is that advertising, in general, is very manipulative and mainly works by trying to make people feel inadequate as they are. It’s not restricted to weight loss products or those for teens, but young people are doubtless more vulnerable.”
Oh boy, I can’t wait until you’re in my boat with a slightly overweight preteen girl who is not fitting in. My heart breaks, I don’t know what to do. We have tried many approaches, and I still feel like I’m doing it wrong. She is very bothered by it, and I of course am co-dependent. Where did all my awesome parenting answers go? I have even improved the situation by having more daughters including “the skinny one” just to rub it in a little more. It’s okay to have the smart one, the skinny one, the athletic one…right? Oh girl…
We get it. This is tough for everyone in the family.There are no easy quick fixes. Check out our blog for tips for families! http://www.campendeavor.wordpress.com
Oh Emma! Here’s what we’re going to do: you are going to figure this out because you are smart and talented and an awesome mom. And then you are going to pass on everything you learn to me:) I wish I knew what to tell you…
Great posts and comments!
One quick note: I don’t think you’re being inconsistent by allowing the donuts this morning and yet not having junk food around the house on a regular basis. You are creating a healthy balance by telling your kids through your actions: junk food is something we don’t eat all the time (ie: it’s not regularly available at home) but it’s fine to have from time to time (ie: when your friend brings some by).
That’s part of the whole intuitive eating thing, isn’t it?
I definitely think it’s a balancing game, much like it is for adults. The earlier you teach kids about healthy habits, eating a colorful, mixed diet, and being active as much as you can, the better and healthier they will be in the future. Being overweight is tough. I’m not, myself, but I have quite a few friends who are and I see and hear their struggles. It makes everything in life toughter. However, fad diets and weight-loss programs aren’t always the way to go. By teaching kids how to eat when you’re hungry when they’re young, hopefully some of that crash-diet, over-exercising, food-and-weight obsessiveness will be quelled.
As a parent and a professional who works with kids, I feel strongly that we need to protect our children. The advertising you describe reinforces to kids that weight does matter. It’s purpose is not to promote health, but to promote hyper-awareness of one’s body size and market the latest diet advice to youth. It emphasizes that one’s self esteem is directly tied to weight.
Advertising which targets children is wrong. We know this from the effect of food advertising on kids. Our children learn through advertising that a colonel (KFC), a tiger (Frosted Flakes), a clown (McDonalds) are experts in nutrition! And that advertising is successful, as evidenced by their sales.
I understand that kids who are overweight want to lose weight, but let’s not scare kids with health concerns. Rather, let’s set up environments in which kids, all kids can enjoy movement and real food. And learn and grow, experience new activities and have fun with friends. Let’s promote active living and healthier eating cause it’s what does the body good!
I could go on and on – there are so many ways we active parents can talk with our children – about seeing through advertising, that size doesn’t matter, that all teasing of overweight kids is wrong and hurtful …. Tut, at tut@campendeavor.org
I’m definitely in the “Oh, leave the kids ALONE” camp.
And in the Orson Scott Card’s stories are creepy camp.
But in a good, good way.
(Have you read “Enchantment”? GOR. GEOUS.)
(And creepy.)
It’s such a dangerous thing to market self-acceptance through weight loss, particularly when it is aimed at children. It’s alarming to know that ads such as those you mention exist–yikes!
So my daughter is in the “at risk for overweight” category, and at 13 is approaching my weight and wearing my clothes, even though I’m almost 6 inches taller. She recently gave me some clothes she grew out of! Her doctor has said to “keep an eye on it.” For 3 years we have “watched” and talked and talked while she continues to gain. Even though this category does not pose a health risk (and even may be somewhat healthier according to some of Char’s favorite studies), SHE wants to lose weight so she feels more confident, so she can stand out for being exceptional, not for being chubby. So HOW do I handle it when it’s not a health concern, but a cultural and self-esteem concern? When it is completely and only about looks and confidence? She eats healthy like we do, she moves, she just eats too MUCH. We talk a lot about this issue and about portion sizes. However, I am slowly beginning to accept that even though she is just a child, I can control what I provide to go in her mouth, and to some extent how much, but at the end of the day she is not me and is in charge of her own body.
I hate dealing with this! Someone give me a not creepy book recommendation on how to talk to girls about body issues and losing weight. At what point do we get more controlling and how? She is getting frustrated and discouraged, and I am ill equipped to deal with it anymore. We have obviously not helped her in the past 3 years doing our best, and need to up our game.
I don’t think most parents know about adequate/proper nutrition. Times have changed and food simply isn’t made the same and, in addition activities are less… active! I think the best way would have been for parents to be the example, but then, how can parents teach something they do not know?
Parents need to change.
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I dont’ want teens feeling even more awkward than they already do or feeling bad because they’re fat – but if they want to change the fact that they’re fat? Treats were just that, special things that didn’t happen every day but were welcome. but she’s keeping it off. GOR.