Holidays can be scary times for people with food issues. For many years I spent the run-up to certain holidays panicking about what I was going to eat (or not eat) at home, at friends’ houses, at parties, at restaurants, at the next Royal Wedding (Seriously, was Kate’s dress not gorgeous? Also, now I want my long hair back.) The evil trifecta of Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas is usually what does most people in but for me, Easter is my crucible. (Whoa, did I just compare myself to Jesus there?) All my favorite foods come out at Easter time. It’s not just the 60 different varieties of jelly beans – this year’s winners were the giant cinnamon jelly beans from the hardware store down the street. Yes, the hardware store. Yes, the same one that sells pickled eggs in a jar of brine that you fish out with your fingers. I know. Anyhow, between the Cadbury eggs and the SweeTarts gummy bunnies all the way up to the raspberry jell-o pretzel salad on the day of, I’m surprised I don’t pee pastel from all the artificial food coloring I ingest.
But this year was different. This year was my first Easter as an Intuitive Eater. I’ve been Eating Intuitively (as in using Geneen Roth’s program
In fact I continued to do great – nothing major changed in my eating patterns, which is pretty major in and of itself – until a couple of days before the big event. And then me being me I got all freaked out as I started filling Easter eggs for my kids to fight over on Sunday morning during our annual Egg Brawl. Nothing like pouring bags of sugar indirectly into your already hyper and destructive spawn – I have mentioned I have 3 boys right? – and then trussing them up in suits and telling them to sit still for 3 hours (Mormons have long church services…). Ten minutes or less until one of them starts trying to hang himself with his tie. I digress. Seeing the piles of Whopper eggs and Starburst jelly beans (not the best kind) made me suddenly want to eat some. And since I am a black-and-white thinker, I panicked thinking that if I allowed myself to eat some that would mean I would eat them all.
- For once, the bunny ears are actually appropriate…
So I did what I always do when I panic about something first-world and ridiculous: I e-mailed a friend or five. (For the record, when I panic about something serious I call my dad and my husband. In that order. A fact that perturbs Gym Hubby seeing as we’ve been married for 11 years, I live with him and yet my auto-pilot is still set to Daddy. But only in red-level crises! Existential angst? Dad. Toilet overflowing thanks to my 4-year-old who poops elephant piles? Gym Hubby all the way. Love you, honey!!!) My friend Shellie immediately wrote back to me reminding me of all the things I’ve learned and practiced with Intuitive Eating. She reminded me to take it slow, eat what I wanted but making sure to sit down and savor it, to not eat standing up or hiding and to remember that for the love of little green apples, the whole point of the day is Jesus, not food! (Okay so that last part was just me inferring. Priorities Charlotte!!)
Some of our friends that a) know about my food issues and are still friends with me and b) are aMAYzing cooks invited us over for Easter dinner. You know what happened? We talked a lot. Then we ate some food of which I took exactly what I wanted and sat down and enjoyed every bite. There was even a moment where I had to pinch myself and think I can’t believe how lucky I am that I get to eat all this yummy food! No angst whatsoever. Not even at dessert time when I had a big slice of my friend’s Best Carrot Cake I’ve Ever Eaten in My Entire Life cake. I ate one slice, licked the frosting off the plate and instead of fretting about whether or not I should have another because this-is-the-absolute-last-time-I’m-ever-eating-cake-again-I-swear-I’m-starting-a-diet-tomorrow, I remembered that eating too much sugar gives me a killer headache and an energy crash and was satisfied with what I’d had. Then we all played a hilarious game that involved acting out famous people during which Gym Hubby set the record for not referencing Lady Gaga. I laughed a lot. I held a friend’s baby. I watched my baby try on all 30 pairs of shoes in the foyer (girl loves her shoes, takes after her mama!). I caught up with some old friends and got to know some new ones better. And you know what I didn’t do? I didn’t think about food after I was done eating. No obsessing over what I hadn’t gotten to eat (only to inhale a half gallon of freezer-burned sugar-free ice cream at home because I felt deprived) and no feeling guilty over what I did eat (only to vow to eat only salad for the next week). I left full but not stuffed. Happy.
A coup of the non-egg variety.
- Believe it or not, it snowed just two days after this picture…
What’s your holiday food strategy? Anyone else still call their parents first in an emergency even though they haven’t lived at home in years?
Want to talk about something totally unrelated to food or Easter? Try this invasive question: When talking about private parts do you use nicknames?? My undercover investigation in public bathrooms (born out of having someone potty training for last 5 years, I swear I’m not a creeper) says most people do! Check out my post on Redbook about what havoc parents wreak when they teach their kids about their hoo-has and winkies!
“Believe it or not, it snowed just two days after this picture… ”
Yes, because I lived in the (godforsaken) state of yours for 21 years before I moved!!! I dont miss the weather, at all. My mom’s bday is March 26 and cant tell you how many times in late March there were blizzards growing up. And then, for another month after that, too! As you just experienced.
Private part nicknames and doing potty learning…yes. Every mother out there wonders what to do, I think and you just pray your kid doesnt scream, hey mom can you wipe my (insert nickname)….in a public bathroom. lol
5 yrs. You are a champ. Omg.
and you look BEAUTIFUL in all your candid shots!!!
Thanks girl! I know, I feel guilty complaining about our weather since I”m a transplant but hey I’m whiny in general so I figure I get a pass;)
Hey cutie- love the pictures!!! Your kids are so cute! I’m no a big fan of Geneen Roth but Im interested in how her approach is working for you. I’ve wondered about nick names and with a girl coming hopefully this week or next I have no idea what to call girl parts! I figure we’ll start discussing the real names when Jack goes to school and hopefully he can know to respect the names, I don’t know…
I’m super curious now – why no love for Geneen?? And you’ll have to let me know what you guys decide for nicknames!
i definitely identify with the parenthesis of the holiday eating behavior. The regrets, the salad promises, the deprivation binge…the dark side [cue: spooky music]. I’m putting the Geneen Roth book on reserve at the library! Hopefully, it will resonate with me and help me with the food issues.
I like your blog.
I hope you like it! I’ve read all her books now and they’ve really helped me.
The pix are ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!
As you know, despite a few years of working with it, I’m still struggling with IE. Mainly because I’m still resisting some of the key elements, like eating without distractions. I still have hope though!
(P.S., I LOVE your account of feeding your kids sugar and then asking them to sit still in church while wearing suits!!!!!)
So true – the eating without distractions rule is really hard for me too! And yes, my kids are like monkeys shoe-horned into dress clothes. That never ends well.
Those kids are adorable. I just want to smush their little faces. But three hours for church? Wow! I think the 11th commandment in the episcopal church is “Thou service shalt not last absolutely more than 60 minutes.”
I have a very relaxed attitude during the holidays. If it is something holiday specific that I can only get at that time of the year- (sweet taters with marshmallows), strufoli (little fried doughballs covered with honey and sprinkles-Christmas) or ricotta pie (easter)
However if its something I can have anytime. I don’t bother, I just save room for the special stuff.
I like your attitude! Very reasonable. And now I’m going to go look up strufoli and ricotta pie….
Cute husband! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a picture of him, and if I’ve seen pictures of your boys they weren’t so full-on. Thanks for sharing and I’m so glad to hear how well Easter went for you!
Aw thanks! Yes, I don’t normally post so many pics of my family and now they’re on here two days in a row. Weird.
I am trying to work through my emotional eating too. I made quite a bit of headway, then wanted to live with it for a while. Thanks for reminding me! I need to get back to it.
BTW, my parents were always obstenate about proper names. I thought poop was Bau Mooment until I was like eleven! I was grossed out as i figured out what I was really saying I could continue with ever more embarrassing moments…
Yeah my parents used the real names too. It embarrassed me as a kid but then pretty much everything they did embarrassed me… Now I think they’re awesome though. It’s amazing what having a couple of little nibblers myself has done for my perspective!
This is completely off topic, I know, but I love your outfit! I love the red top, the jeans (they look HOT too) and the black shirt underneath. Love it all. There is just cuteness all over the place here, I don’t know what to do.
I just posted today about a situation I got into with a cop where the first thing I did was cry and the second thing? Call my dad. Everytime. Even though he’s 1500 miles away, he gets that call. And i think he secretly loves it! 🙂
Thank you! I should send you a full shot of the shirt – it has these cool ties that criss cross over the chest and then wrap around the waist twice. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s still a Daddy’s girl!
I do this everyday and not just with holidays… but I ask myself if I would serve that exact amount for that meal (or snack) and nothing else to someone else my size that exercises similarly to me (and I have friends that fit that descriptor). This lets me gauge if it’s too much or too little… It may not be the best method, but since my body is still a little wanky it’s helped me to regulate my eating.
To paraphrase: “If someone like me asked me to serve her a reasonable portion, is this the amount I would give her?” You can bet I’m going to be asking myself that question alot from now on. Thank you, Kat, for probably the most useful advice I’ve read in the past few years!!!
I’m glad it helped and that you got my roundabout message okay 😉
I just think that it puts things in good perspective. We should be our own best friends so why treat others better.
Love it Kat! I think just taking the time to stop yourself and ask yourself that question probably helps a lot too with mindless eating. Great tip.
I love the pics ! They’re absolutely gorgeous 🙂
I don’t really have anything to add to the conversation but thought I’d just say “Hi” – and “Happy Easter !” since I haven’t commented for a while . I’m still reading, I’ve just been in hermit mode 🙂
Thank you Terri! So good to see you back on here:)
OH OH OH OH OH I LOVE LOVE LOVE THE FAM SHOTS.
Hahah – love your “name” today!
Your family is beautiful! Great pictures that you will love to look at when your kids get older. I basically had a clean diet for Easter with just a little refined food (about 300 total calories of salad dressing, croutons, and 1 cup of cocoa), but no candy at all! It turned out to be a super great experience. (I posted on this on my blog.) But, I like your food rules too. It seems to work for you, which is most important. We all have to do what food rules work for us because our personal food issues are all different.
Yep, it’s all about finding what works for you and your body! I love that you’ve found that for you! Off to check out your post now…
The Jelly Bean has your smile! (Looks just like that foot-in-the-air tutu shot.)
Hahah – I didn’t notice that before but you are totally right!
I don’t understand why parents use nicknames for those parts, I really do not. That makes the real, proper scienticic words dirty to the kid. In my house it is “penis”, “testicles”, “vagina” and “vulva”. Said with as much casualness as “nose” or “pinky finger”. But that is just me and my family, rest of you talk about you vajayjays and headlights, door bells and back doors and huuhaas and what ever, I don’t even know what those are.
I read your blog all the time but usually feel unable to add anything because I am really far removed from all these food issues but I love working out and enjoy watching you embarrace yourself trying crazy stuff.
First – I agree, we use the proper names here (although we did get into a heated discussion about what to say when our daughter pees. Obviously it doesn’t come out of her vagina but saying urethra seemed cumbersome.) Second – I’m so glad you don’t have food issues!!! Celebrate that!
Over the Easter long weekend I ate 6 Cadbury eggs (3 Cream – my fave – and 3 Caramilk) mainly because when I went to buy one at the last minute, all I could find were packs of 6 and there’s only me to eat them. But I had my fix and now I’m good til next Easter.
Emergencies? When we discovered that the odd smell we’d been noticing was due to the dead bird our cats had dragged into our closet, I called my Dad. He owned & operated a cleaning company for years; we figured he’d know what to do (Note: it was my husband who said ‘call your father’). On Friday, when Husband discovered a tick on his arm, just as we were getting ready to go out for my birthday dinner, we called Husband’s Mom since she is a nurse (and in this case it was me who said ‘call your mother’). I guess Husband and I operate as a team when it comes to calling our parents.
Oooh gross! Your dad sounds like a handy person to know though! And your MIL!
Wonderful photos!! Great looking family! Intuitive eating is a good idea, but requires coming from a level starting place. It needs to be cultured and practiced until we can re establish normal eating habits. You have done a great job with it!
True – I don’t think IE is the solution for everyone (we all come from different starting points) but it is def. working well for me!
You have such a great-looking family!!!
It looks like you are doing fabulously with intuitive eating! Good for you! 🙂
Thank you! I think they’re pretty cute:)
Beautiful family pic’s!! It is so encouraging to hear about your success with intuitive eating. Reminds me that it is possible to make mistakes and still get back on track 🙂
Everyone in my family (parents included) call me when there is an emergency. Over the past year I have worked at ending this pattern (for my own sanity) and told them I am no longer the family “fixer”. A huge step for me and one I hope I can continue.
Yes, I know we both struggle with the perfectionism aspect of eating and that can be really hard to let go! I love that everyone calls you – I’m going to have to remember that for my next emergency;)
Three things:
1. The Jellybean is adorable!
2. Huge congrats on your intuitive eating WIN!
3. My dad’s birds and the bees talk with me consisted of 6 words: “Keep your pecker in your pants.”
1. Thanks!
2. Thanks!
3. And now see where that got you… 😉
love this post! Holidays are always a stressful time for me, not only for the eating fact, but also for the family factor. Because when you put my immediate family in the same house, well, let’s just say things get crazy…haha
as far as who I call first? well, not being married yet, I still do the “daddy dial” and I’m afraid that might not change…I swear, the man is like Bill Nye mixed with Chuck Norris wrapped in a big ol’ Alex Trebeck blanket. The guy knows everything. It’s a little ridiculous. 🙂
” the man is like Bill Nye mixed with Chuck Norris wrapped in a big ol’ Alex Trebeck blanket” Aw, I love your dad now and I don’t even know him! You have to put this in his father’s day card!!
haha I love him too! very much 🙂 and that is a good idea about the father’s day card! I’ll have to write this down! I’m sure he’d get a kick out of it!
Easter sucked big time for me this year! The MIL to be was super annoyed that I couldn’t eat most of her spread due to my current diet restraints. She knew I was on a diet though. And she STILL made my absolute favorite dessert. *guilt* It was terrible…I’m still recovering.
Oh I’m sorry! That’s so stressful when family doesn’t respect your food choices and even try to tempt you out of making good decisions. Hope you recover quickly:)
Charlotte, this post brought tears to my eyes (and not just because your babies are so adorable- though they are). I am so happy for you that you got to have an amazing meal like that. You completely rock. This inspires me to keep working on my own food issues every day.
I’ll admit, I struggled a little that weekend. It’s hard. We had Passover on Saturday and Easter on Sunday so I got a little overwhelmed with so much food and feeling like I had to enjoy everything, especially because we probably won’t get to celebrate with family next year. Gotta work on remembering how bad too much sugar makes me feel BEFORE I eat it!
I call my dad too 🙂 Freakouts go to my mom, every day kind of stuff goes to the boyfriend, but for stuff I actually want advice and solutions, they always go to my dad.
Yay – so glad you liked this Abby! It felt like a big deal for me:) And yeah, if I can work through my food issues you definitely can too! Sugar is such a two-edged sword. I love it and don’t want to restrict it (or else I binge on it later) and yet eating as much of it as I want leaves me feeling like total crap. It’s a fine line.
Glad I’m not the only daddy’s girl!
I found easter to be fine. No big deal. For me it was this last weekend when I went to visit a friend who was home from the UK. Far FAR too much food and wine, and I certanly did NOT eat or drink well. It’s the last fronteir of my life – travel and celebrating and visiting. Too much wine = me eating too much and it goes back and forth. I’m chalking it up as a lesson learned (and a most wonderful weekend!). And I refuse to step on the scale…I’m just getting back to basics…
” I’m chalking it up as a lesson learned (and a most wonderful weekend!)” This is amazing and totally makes me smile. I love this about you!!
This Easter we were asked to bring a healthy side dish to the grilled chicken we’d be eating. And so everyone made something relatively healthy (though admittedly there were WAY too many fruit dishes with either honey or marshmallows all over the place, is that REALLY healthy?) So we ate our healthy meal. And then there was a table loaded with dessert, just like always. My husband swears he actually ate more than usual, and more bad stuff than usual. I’m not sure it worked out so well.
Good for you being happy and satisfied! 😉 I just tried not to stress. A holiday is one day and if I can enjoy the meal and then go home and back to my own life and ways of eating, it isn’t going to really hurt me.
I agree – it’s all about keeping it in perspective. And too funny about the healthy food making people eat more. Research has shown that effect too. Yay us:)
I have to admit, I was waiting for a crazy story and was SO FREAKIN HAPPY to read that easter was so wonderful for you! I resisted the candy (it’s just not worth it to me anymore), but I did indulge in some ice cream cake which was great.
I never feel good after eating sugar, almost immediately it turns my stomach if I have more than a VERY small serving (unless it’s immediately before, after or during a really intense/long run/workout, then it’s exactly what’s needed), and the funny thing is – it’s not going to be the last time I get to eat it, so I can pass on it unless I really, really crave it.
Congrats again on the press to handstand!
Yay! I know! I was so happy for myself too! It felt like a big deal:) And no – I DIDN’T get my press to handstand back yet! I’m SOOOOO frustrated! I’ve got it against the wall just fine but as soon as I’m freestanding – nothing. Bah!
Just saw this – like I said, I can’t *really* do it (my coach used to yell at us when we jumped, the right way is starting from your tippy toes and rolling up), I can jump from a straddle position, get up to a handstand for like a second, and then I fall down… if I was really dedicated to improving it I really need more wrist strength but I lazy. 🙂
Can you jump and do it? Is it the handstand part or the jumping from straddle? What exactly is happening?
It’s definitely the press part. I can hold a handstand pretty decently now and I know I have the core strength to press up because I can do in on the wall and from a headstand no problem. It’s all the positioning and balance that I’m missing! I can’t seem to find that sweet spot of where to put my hands…
Ah, I think I know what you’re missing. You have to lean WAY over your hands. Like, to the point you swear you’ll fall, there’s just a LOT more weight on one side then the other. I remember that challenge from being young and learning it (like casting to handstand on the uneven bars). I would have one of your gym buddies spot behind you (as if they were the wall) to get the hang of it.
Charlotte – coming back later when I have more time to read but I just had to say – HOLY COW – what a beautiful beautiful family including YOU! Cute boys & adorable jelly bean & hunky hubby & pretty Charlotte!
As Arnold says – I’ll be back!
Thank you Jody, you are too sweet!
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is not easy to share your struggles with the world. You seem to be very into finding a smart way to stay healthy which is very admirable. With all the fad diets out there it can be tempting to find a quick fix. The more you focus on just eating healthy and not “dieting” the easier it will be. It may make you feel jealous to watch other adults mow down a bunch of fast food or pastries but in the end you know what really makes you feel good. And a little indulging never hurt anyone so learning to keep in touch with your limits is a great thing as well. Nice job!
Thank you! I love this comment – so very sensible and rational! (Both of which I need more of!) Good point about checking the jealousy.
We have always used the correct words for body parts so our kids would be able to talk to a doctor when necessary about such parts. Anyway, no matter how many times I used the correct term, my daughter always called her female parts her “Chinese.” This became a little embarrassing at a furniture store when my husband pointed out a China cabinet and my 3-year old thought we were talking about body parts. Even though as parents we have good intentions, our kids still make their own interpretations.
So true! And kids come up with the darndest things. “Chinese” – love it!!
LOVED LOVED this post & again, the pics! You look so amazingly happy! Even happier that you are getting past your “demons” & living a happier & healthier life!
Me, I approach holidays like any other day _ I don’t eat just because, I watch my portion size & the treats – they really have to be a 10 for me…. just the way I am.. I may taste a nibble of something that is a 8 or 9 but I EAT THE !! 🙂
Sounds like a good approach – you def. have found what works for you!
Great post. Your kids are gorgeous! I have the same issues when around family or friends How do you deal with those who don’t understand your deire to choose healthy options and to eat intuitively?I feel like”well meaning” friends/family put pressure on me to “pig out”. And I cant’t tolerate it psychologically or physically. Help! I’m running out of polite ways of explaining my lifestyle.!
Oooh such a good question! I should do a whole post on this as this is someone I think almost every healthy eater struggles with. For me it’s about choosing my battles. Most of the time if I just give a polite “no thank you” (sometimes 2 or 3 times) people back off. But if they’re really insistent or they’re really close family and this is very important to them, then sometimes I’ll eat it. Food can be such a catalyst in so many families!
Thanks for the book rec~I just ordered my copy! Would love to get into intuitive eating, and have it work…
Love Geneen Roth’s ideas….I just checked out Women, Food and God…very fascinating and helpful. Now I am hoping to get the one you listed. I think she’s been really helping me with my food issues…I too am a recovering orthoexic I had it before they had a term for it so it just seemed like a weird form of anorexia. Anyways I love her focus on being kind to yourself and treating yourself like a friend…that’s huge!
Ok, so this doesn’t really have anything to do with the post, but I just wanted to say that I love Fleet Farm candy too. 🙂 And I’m so sad to have missed Easter dinner. I assume it was at the regular place?? Great pictures!
Charlotte- everyone looks so fabulous- every single one of you. My fave photo is the last one of you and jelly bean.
I’m so glad that you’ve got this intuitive eating stuff cracked! I did get a tad confused though as I thought that if you wanted a jelly bean or a malt ball or two, you could have that with intuitive eating? maybe you modify to suit the black & white thinking? Anyway, so glad it’s working.
My new eating scheme (brand spanking new) involved NOT counting calories, so i suppose you could sorta call it intuitive if it works. But if I careen out of control and gain weight, it’s back to my Rain man past for me!
Also love the ringlets in your hair- that last photo is the BEST!!!!
Pingback:The Politics of Eating Healthy [3 rules for avoiding awkward dinner parties] | The Great Fitness Experiment
Pingback:The Politics of Eating Healthy [3 rules for avoiding awkward dinner parties] | Elite Daily Diet and Fitness
Pingback:The Politics of Eating Healthy [3 rules for avoiding awkward dinner parties] | Instant Health Fitness