Kevin and his baby boy – nothing like getting tongue kissed by a baby!
Juggling a hula hoop, my toddler, my gym bag, my preschooler, an alarm clock/CD player*, an infant in her huge carseat (just babysitting Turbo Jennie’s baby, I did not pop out another one!) AND an umbrella, I cursed under my breath as I was forced to drop all my stuff to open the gym door because the person walking in in front of me didn’t look behind them and let it shut right in front of me. Granted, my pack-mule tendencies are my own darn fault but still, is it too much to ask to just look behind you when you go through a door? Three kids under 4! And a hula hoop! In the rain!! As I continued my mental rant and shuttled everyone and everything (including some random detritus lingering around the doorway) inside – being careful to hold open the door for the person behind me in the most grandiose way possible – I turned around to see… a teen in a wheelchair.
Every day a group of people who are disabled come and hang out at our Y – some of them even hula hoop with us on occasion! – and today this boy was part of a group was selling handmade cards in the front lobby. My face flushed as I realized how very blessed I am to be able to carry three kids and enough workout crap to run my own gym through the rain and still open doors. We went over and said hi – me with my hand firmly over my preschooler’s mouth because this is the same child who said to the Wal-Mart greeter in a wheelchair, “You look really stupid in that chair. Why don’t you just walk?” (Charming!) – and then I continued on, chastened, to check my able-bodied children into the childcare so I could go work out my totally healthy body.
Sometimes it’s a little thing like this morning that reminds me of how blessed I am but sometimes it takes a larger impetus to make me realize how much I truly have and what a responsibility I have to help others.
Last September, Gym Buddy Megan’s brother Kevin was diagnosed with rectal cancer. He’s 32. I’m 32. He’s a father to two boys, 3 and 18 months old. I have boys. Jelly Bean is 18 months old. He’s a husband. I have a husband. He has an ostomy bag. I have never been more grateful for my rectum. (Sentence #437 that I never thought I’d write on this site.) While he’s doing well with his treatments – he’s about halfway through his chemo and radiation – he writes, “I’ll be honest, I’m scared. Had someone asked me 2 weeks ago what I’d be doing right now, taking trips to the Vanderbilt Cancer Clinic would not have been last (that would have been a live taping of Oprah), but it would have been really low on the list.” He’s funny! I’m funny too! Sometimes!
Gym Buddy Megan with her grandma and brothers Daniel (left) and Kevin (right). I think they’re at a wedding. Either that or they have a thing for dressing alike.
Understandably this has been a really difficult experience for Kevin, his wife and kids and his parents and all four of his siblings. I still remember the day Megan told us the news – she started crying on the treadmill. You know it’s about to get serious when someone is crying and running and they’re not even watching Lifetime on the little treadmill TV. So to help support Megan’s brother and our Gym Buddy Jess who got a bone marrow transplant for Christmas and is now currently in remission from Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, the Gym Buddies and I have all joined a Relay For Life team for the American Cancer Society.
I’m going to be honest: I’ve never done anything like this before. I hate asking people for money. I couldn’t even do the door-to-door penny drive in elementary school. But I lost my grandfather and an uncle to cancer and I know what an ugly, terrible disease cancer is and the devastating effect it has on families. And so I’m doing this. The 24-hour overnight relay will be the easy part (heck, it’ll even be the fun part – Gym Buddy campout!), asking for donations is the hard part. But I’m doing this. For Kevin. For Jess. For my grandpa. I’m not going to make a huge deal out of this and pester you guys nonstop – for the record, I have never, ever asked my readers for money before – but I am going to ask: It would really mean a lot to me and to the Gym Buddies if you could make a donation (click link to go to my donation page). Anything at all. Even just a buck or two will help. And if all you can do right now is offer up a silent prayer of gratitude for your healthy rectum, I totally understand. Thank you!
Kevin with his wife and kids
And speaking of helping a stranger out, Reader Carrie recently sent me this e-mail, “I’m trying to adopt a little girl from Columbia. Her name is Julie and she has Down Syndrome. I am a single mother with one child already and a Special Education Teacher. This is going to be a huge expense. Would you consider helping me raise money to bring Julie home? I know I’m a pretty much a stranger asking a huge favor but I really hope you’ll consider it.” Carrie’s note made me all teary – I have a huge soft spot for kids and especially for kids with Down Syndrome. I made a donation to Julie’s adoption fund and I hope you’ll consider it too. (Click on link to go to Julie’s adoption page to make a donation.)
UPDATE: Reader VAMomOf2 posted this comment and I wanted to bump it up here as her brother’s story and her warning are very powerful: “One of my brothers was diagnosed with rectal cancer in his 40s. He opted to not do the bag-thing so now only eats one meal and day, at home, close to a bathroom. I give each year to colon cancer research and will gladly donate to your team. I would also encourage everyone to get a colonoscopy. Because of my brother’s situation, and no family history of this kind of cancer, all his siblings were encouraged to get an immediate colonoscopy. I did and will probably have another before I am even 50. He knew something was not right but waited over 6 months to see a doctor – don’t do what he did!”
Kids, cancer, mouthy preschoolers – heavy stuff today. Do you have a loved one with cancer? Have you ever participated in a fund-raising race/walk-a-thon/relay/whatever? Do you have a hard time asking people for money too? Thank you guys so much! (<—You know you want to click it!)
*Hooping with music is about 200 times more fun! And my alarm clock is the only portable music player I have. Yes, I probably still have a Walkman around here too. Shut up.
How does your relay work? I have some gym buddies who did a 200-mile relay last weekend; everybody had to do 3 legs (6-10 miles each) within a 24 hour period! They’re very tight-lipped about the shenanigans that went on in the van; I know there was something hilarious involving wet-wipe baths. It was for a kidney transplant for a little girl one of them knows. (So you’ll have to forgive me for keeping my donations local.)
From what I understand we all just take turns walking for 24 hours. I’m not sure how the legs are divided up – I think we get to pick. And I think it’s beautiful you are helping the little girl where you live! I’ve heard great stories about the shenanigans that go on at these things and you’re right, they’re pretty secretive;)
Love the pictures, you are such a cute family. Thanks for sharing.
Ana
Hmmm… not my fam. But thanks.
Many years ago my neighbor had the same disease! He got through it and is fine today!
When I’ve been up for over 24 hours, I don’t know if I’m funnier, but everything else is 🙂
This: “When I’ve been up for over 24 hours, I don’t know if I’m funnier, but everything else is” made me giggle and then snort. TRUE.
One of my brothers was diagnosed with rectal cancer in his 40s. He opted to not do the bag-thing so now only eats one meal and day, at home, close to a bathroom. I give each year to colon cancer research and will gladly donate to your team. I would also encourage everyone to get a colonoscopy. Because of my brother’s situation, and no family history of this kind of cancer, all his siblings were encouraged to get an immediate colonoscopy. I did and will probably have another before I am even 50. He knew something was not right but waited over 6 months to see a doctor – don’t do what he did!
Oh wow – thank you so much for sharing your brother’s story! I’m going to bump your comment up to the main post. Thank you for your generous donation but even more thank you for your warning! I’ve had a colonoscopy once and I’m sure I’ll have another before too long as colon cancer does run in my family.
Prayers for your friend Kevin, thanks for sharing his story. And never feel bad for asking for help/money for a friend in need… we should all be so lucky to have friends to stand up for us when we need it.
Thank you Mark – I so appreciate this comment!
Charlotte, what a wonderful event and cause. Now I really want to get a team together to do one of the Relay for Life events! Best of luck to your team.
Thank you! You should do it!!
This is so timely it’s scary. My eyes have been bloodshot and swollen since last night. I found out my good friend from high school (the only one I keep in touch with) just got diagnosed yesterday with stage 4 cancer. It has spread to her brain, lungs, bones and spine. I’m devastated for her and her husband (also a classmate…they were high school sweethearts and I only had 30 students in my class…small small town MN). She has 5 children between the ages of 2 and 13. She found out a week ago that there was a tumor on her back and it was probably cancer…she found out yesterday that it’s all over her body and she will probably die from it. I’m so heartbroken. I will, of course, be donating even tho I can’t participate in the walk. I pray for my friend, I pray for Megan’s brother, and I pray for my sister who is having a melanoma removed tomorrow. May God hold them all so gently in the palm of his hands. Amen.
Oh girl, just read your comment with tears streaming down my face. I am so so sorry honey. I will pray for your friend and her family as well! And of course your sis and her fam are in my prayers as well.
Thank you Charlotte for the support & for soliciting funds for such a good cause. I’ll be participating in one as well & my goal is to complete 10 miles, 5 for myself & 5 in honor of my best friends father who is currently being treated for cancer as well. It will be taking place during one of my off weeks from chemo so I’m hoping to be able to muster up the entery to get it done. There is far too much cancer in the world and all support is greatly appreciated. Thank You Charlotte again for the support, it’s great to know that Megan has such quality people around her.
That should say energy, I have no clue what the hell entery means. My stupid keyboard has chemo brain too I guess!
Charlotte, babe. You need to make contact with Fat Cyclist. He is THE BEST at raising funds (his big thing is the Live Strong Foundation) and I bet he’d be able to help you overcome your natural reticence (I get it! I do!) and help make a positive change in the world.
I’ve actually NEVER done something like that, though I’ve always wanted to… I’ve done races that have benefited certain charities, but never a relay or team thing. I almost ran a mud run, but that got nixed when I injured my shoulder.
I think it’s really great that you’re doing that and using your site to help the cause — also I hope you have lots of fun (though I doubt I needed to say that!)
The Hubster and I are not participating this year, but we will certainly be donating! My grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer 5 years ago, and it was discovered in the past year that it has spread to his bones. He’s 79 and other health issues are interferring with his cancer treatments and he and my grandma are ready to just give up, they are so sick of dealing with doctors and medications. It’s heart breaking for our family.
Cancer ahs taken many family members and friends from me. It’s part of why I do what I do…to try and help somehow. I’m hoping what we do where I work will make a difference.
Right now I’m watching 2 people close to me trying to deal with surgery and chemo and be optimistic, with no real idea of if they can beat this or if it’s just a matter of time…Your doing this is a very good thing Charlotte.
I am so very grateful for having a pretty much healthy body. Every day.
I’m happy to support your team! This one hit close to home for me because my sister was recently diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. She has an ostomy bag right now and will eventually have her colon removed to prevent cancer in the future (she’s 23). I recently blogged about her story here: http://2lemons.wordpress.com/2011/05/06/take-steps/
We’re walking in the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation’s Take Steps walk this weekend, and I’ve been so touched by the people who’ve given gifts to support our team! It’s amazing to feel the love. Also, I did Relay for Life a number of years ago. It was an incredible experience–definitely a lot of fun, but very moving and emotional too.
I am doing a relay for life in June, I’m really happy to be involved in helping support any cause, but this is really special because I get to do it with an amazing woman, my co-worker who is a breast cancer survivor. Every day she puts a smile on my face and am thankful to have her in my life. I am like you and feel the same way about trying to raise money…it’s definately difficult, but you will find people that love to donate and are very happy to help.
Thanks for posting this, Charlotte. Cancer affects so many and it’s great that events like Relay for Life exist. For the past 5+ years, I have bought too many bags for my friend’s Relay for Life team in her hometown. I say too many because I’ve had a lot of cancer in my family (my mom, my brother, my grandpa, an uncle, along with my significant others’ family members). Melanoma, prostate and a rare appendix cancer are the ones they were diagnosed with.
I also clicked on Julie’s link. I, like you, have a soft spot for Down Syndrome and children in need of being adopted – especially the older ones. I clicked through that sight some and got emotional. I want all those kids to be adopted, loved and accepted right this very second! (I’m a bit impatient!)
And I must say that I LOVE your method of listening to music when you hula hoop. I did see a walkman in the gym the other day. I was kind-of embarrassed for that person… at least upgrade to a discman! 🙂
What an amazing post!
As you know, I lost my dad to cancer nearly 3 years ago. I also lost my maternal grandmother, and Hubby and I lost one of our dogs, all to cancer. My mom is a breast cancer survivor. I have ridden the Livestrong race, and done a number of walk-a-thons (AIDS, cancer, Autism). I’m hoping someday to do the Best Buddies ride, with folks with developmental disabilities. It makes a such a difference to feel like you’re helping someone!
I’ll send my thoughts and prayers for Kevin and Julie. (And will donate as soon as I can!)
And don’t beat yourself up about getting angry at the idiot who basically slammed the door in your face! it was rude!
Hope I’m not too late, I just donated! Another round of cold bugs just went through the family, I swear we have never been this sick so many times before. I digress… Great causes! A family member of mine has volunteered with ACS for many years and I have done a walk before, it was fun. Also you know my love for kids with DS, we have volunteered for the Special Olympics and Buddy Walk. Very rewarding experiences 🙂
First, I’ve been doing Relay for 5 years now. It is , at varying times, a lot of fun, exhausting, moving, and inspirational. I’m not donating to your’s because I have my own team and have been donating and soliciting donations for that, but I urge you to have a great time., and thank you for making Relay part of your blog.
Our team captain is a zumba instructor, and last year she did a 45 minute Zumba class after the luminaria ceremony. It was so popular, we are adding another session.
Kevin, my money’s on you. You have an awesome attitude.
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I love the bonds with your family. It’s awesome. I can’t wait to be like that also.
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