Well now THAT’S just ridiculous.
Old habits die hard for anyone but for those of us with OCD tendencies, old habits need a wooden stake to the heart, a silver bullet, a clove of garlic and a whole a whole cart full of Wal-Mart clothing to die. (What? Apparently nothing slays Hollywood vampires like bad fashion.) Which is how I found myself surfing the website for a diet “supplement” (I suppose “pill” sounds too after-school special?) being flogged to death by a local radio show I listen to in the mornings. One of the hosts of the show claims to have lost over 100 pounds by taking these pills. Somehow these magic beans not only took Jack to the giant but also got Jack his personal training certification and the giant to embrace eating beans instead of Jack.
For months I resisted the lure but the other day I caved and went and looked at the site. I just had to see it – I told myself that my natural cynicism would spot all the problems right away but in reality it’s because I have a serious weakness for The Testimonial. Sure I love my research but for some reason anecdotal evidence is oddly compelling for me, especially when I “know” the person. But I didn’t buy the pills, even with all the amazing testimonials from “Jen C.” and “Abby F.” and “Other Generic Name followed by Random Letter”. Not even the evidence from “Hot Dr. Who Got His License in Dentistry from Correspondence School in Yemen” swayed me. You know why?
1. Because diet pills don’t work for other people. The short – and oft repeated – maxim of diet pills don’t work because if they did, we’d all be skinny pretty much sums it up. Do you think that if there was a single pill, prescription or otherwise that really made people permanently lose weight that Kirstie Alley or Oprah would still be on tabloid covers?
2. Because diet pills don’t work for me. Of course I’ve taken these. You know I have. Ever since “mini-thins” enticed me in high school with their over-18 purchasing policy (that they sold at the gas station across the street from a high school), I have been in the thrall of diet pills. In college I was poor so I mostly took straight-up caffeine pills along with some other random diet aids that friends and roommates would give me. (Thank heavens Adderall didn’t exist back then because I probably would have taken it.) These uppers gave me energy and had the added bonus of suppressing my appetite so I could go about my disordered eating habits without having to eat toilet paper.
The first time I overdosed on these I was in high school and my family went out of town to a family reunion that I managed to talk my way out of by saying I had to study, which was true. It was also true that there were a bunch of college parties happening that I was dying to go. Wanting to make the most of my freedom but still uber-responsible I decided the best way to hit all the parties, work 40 hours a week at my waitressing job and still study for finals was to not sleep and just pop pills. Brilliant! I went for 3.5 days with no sleep. I remember showing up at work for the lunch rush and shaking so badly that my boss told me to forget it and just go home. I threw up on his feet. I don’t remember much after that. He told me later I was hallucinating. And yet I didn’t give up the pills. Old habits, see.
The next overdose happened my freshman year of college. I don’t remember why I felt the need to take fistfuls of these pills this time – probably something to do with the fact that I have the perfectionism sickness – but I do remember my heart doing funny skips and thinking I was going to die. I called my boyfriend at the time to tell him good-bye and he immediately rushed over. I threw up on his feet. He made a big show of pushing me up against a wall and yelling at me that if he ever caught me harming myself again he’d… (What? Hurt me?). Sobbing, I watched him flush my pills down the toilet. I was Jessie “I’m So Excited!” Spano on Saved By the Bell, now with more sturm and drang! But I still kept the pills. Old habits, sigh.
After that, while there were still incidences with The Pills, I didn’t have any more dramatic episodes of this nature. Until, as you may recall, my Great Puke Race of 2010. Wanting to run a PR at that distance (which in and of itself was stupid since that was the first time I’d ever officially raced 10 miles so anything would have been a PR, duh), I accepted some pills from a friend right before the race started. But instead of feeling energized, I went way past that and into a manic run that left me feeling the worst I’ve felt – outside of childbirth, that pain practically gave me PTSD – in 10 years. I threw up on my own feet. Some of you questioned at the time what I was thinking taking unknown “energy pills” (would a diet pill by any other name smell as phony?). I wasn’t thinking at all! It came so naturally to me because I’ve been doing it my whole life. Old habits suck.
I learned my lesson that time. Partly it was because I’m a grown-up and responsible for 4 little people who deserve so much better than that in their mother. Partly it was because of my readers, you guys deserve so much better than that in your friend. And, I’m not going to lie, partly because two doctors e-mailed me to tell me how very easily I could have killed myself and that scared the crap out of me. I haven’t touched a pill since. But the urge is still there, especially when the siren song of the testimonial calls.
The funny thing is, the whole point of taking the pills is to lose weight right? And yet every time I’ve taken them while I may have lost a handful of pounds initially (all that puking on feet, you know) it has never once resulted in long-term weight loss. In fact, after a week or two on them I most often saw a rebound effect where I’d end up gaining weight to where I weighed more than when I started them! The other problem is how quickly I’d become accustomed to them – to get the same energy I’d need twice as many, then three times as many, and then usually at about this point I’d burn out my money and my adrenals and end up back where I started but poorer and heavier and with a major headache. It’s a vicious cycle. But habits are breakable and this is what I’m showing myself every day.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself of what I already know.
Have any of you ever taken diet pills? Anyone else a total sucker for testimonials? Anyone else seen like every episode of Saved By The Bell??
I’m too scared to take diet pills. My parents would be so disappointed in me and I know that’s a stupid reason when you’re in your 30s but it’s still something. I feel like I should know better so while the ads tempt me, everytime I go into a store to buy some, I put them down and walk away.
Parental pressure without them even knowing about it!
You were obviously raised well!
I am hearing you on Saved By The Bell! I loved Jessie and I was so disappointed in her when she took those pills 🙂 That said, I am finishing up my PhD at the moment, and No-Doz is the only thing keep me awake through the day! I am under no illusions that I can give up the gym though, it’s the only thing that keeps me sane.
About magic-diet-pills etc., I guess I was lucky in an unfortunate way. My mum took everything under the sun when I was young. Although they sometimes worked short term, I only ever remember her getting sadder. If they were magic-sad-pills, then they worked just fine. It never occured to me that diet supplements worked – it couldn’t have *actually* worked for Gwendolyn X., since it didn’t work for my mum
This: ” If they were magic-sad-pills, then they worked just fine.” is so poignant! I hope my kids will never say this about me some day…
OMG those are some scary diet pills stories. I never tried diet pills, and after reading your story I definitely never will. When I see diet pills in a store I am always curious about the ingredients, because I always wonder what are they feeding people this time. And when I do see the ingredient list, I am always shocked ” Does’t anyone else read labels? “. I do love me some good testimonials, but ingredients always come first.
I am glad that you learned about dangers of diet pills.
I remember that episode from Saved By The Bell, it always makes me laugh because Jessy was a bit cheesy with acting, LOL
Elizabeth Berkley overract? Never!! (I’m SO, I’m SO, I’m SO SCARED!!!)
Even thought I KNOW they don’t work (too many friend’s mother’s tried them all when we were growing up), they still call to me when I’m walking through Target. Why only Target? No clue. But, I’m truly terrified of them and I think it’s because of all the dulcolax (sp?) I took when I first started on the ED road. Sometimes I gag just swallowing a vitamin. Also, I’m losing even more respect for the nationally known spokespeople (talkin’ to you two, Biggest Loser gurus!) when they show up with their own Magic Pills. If they really, truly worked, and were totally safe, wouldn’t they just show the contestants taking them on the show? Once again – you’re singing my tune chicky! So wish we were neighbors!!
Seriously – when Jillian Michaels came out with her diet pills, I about passed out. Whatever happened to “eat right and exercise”?? One of the Gym Buddies tried out her pills and she brought in the box – what was the secret ingredient? Caffeine, of course. Just like every other pill. So disappointed.
Not a lot to add here except the echoing of the HABITS ARE BREAKABLE sentence and loving that you show US here every day as well.
oh
and prayers that in 2 decades time my own girl would read this and think “I dont have anything to add. no stories. nothing.”
She won’t, because she is YOUR girl:)
I’m glad you mentioned Adderall. I know someone who was “diagnosed with ADD” and was prescribed them. She was overweight and in the last 10 month’s she’s lost close to 90 lbs. Now I can say she’s eating a whole lot better but I don’t know, I can say it’s the Zumba addiction that she does about 4-5 times a week is a big part of it. But when she mentioned the Adderall I made the connection. I wish I hadn’t known about the Adderall she was on because my view of her weight loss probably wouldn’t be skewed now and that makes me feel bad. I know she is a nice person but losing that much weight in such a short time I guess can be possible. Now of course I am hating all the psych drugs I’m on for my depression and anxiety because I can’t loose the weight. etc etc. and now it just makes me grouchy.
Yes I love testimonials but more I love to see before and after pics of people who loose weight.
Yes, Adderall really is a strange beast. I won’t criticize it for people who have ADHD and truly need it but I recently read a NY Times article that only 1 out of 4 people on these meds actually have ADHD. The rest are using them for weight loss, energy, focus etc. And it does change how you look at someone. I have a good friend who accomplished a whole lot while losing a bunch of weight and all I could think was “if I had those pills I probably could have done all that too.” It wasn’t good for our friendship.
Just a (possibly) positive note on your friend’s weight loss — it could actually be a positive benefit from the adderall actually helping with real ADD. If the ADD was causing boredom / inattentive snacking, the calming and focus provided by the adderall (which isn’t a jittery-inducing kind of stimulant for those who really need it) could be helping to cut down on mindless eating. If she’s combining it with eating better and exercising more, 10 pounds in a month doesn’t seem like that much. I like to hope for the best with people?
… strangely, the one time I managed a rate like that was during a major depressive bout which I was selfmedicating with exercise, and avoiding seeing my friends at dinner by not eating. I never want to be *that* depressed again, but I didn’t miss those 30 pounds…
I always assume that everyone doing a testimonial is a big fat liar. Works for me; never, ever taken a diet pill.
I’ve never taken a diet ‘supplement’ either. I think seeing my mom try every single one on the market and have 0 success helped 😉 Although — I did try drinking green tea and seltzer water as appettie suppressors back in my anorexic days so I suppose that counts? It didn’t really work. I mean when your body is getting 800 calories a day i takes more than a few bubbles to appease it!
I remember trying carb blockers or something like that. as I was young, dumb and trying to find my way with my body. Most likely the only thing it did was turn my poop a funny color 🙂
The only drugs that really do keep you from eating are illegal and dangerous.
So, I had to take break a break from your post to pop over to Netflix and see if Saved by the Bell is on instant, yet. (It’s not, darn it!) I’m such a fan (I once taped it over one of my dad’s Abbott and Costello movies and got into BIG TROUBLE!) that when my daughters started watching iCarly, I knew right away they were using the same set. (Really! Be true to your school!) LOL
I tried Metabo-something in high school…they were always pimping it out on the radio, and I found a kiosk at the Mall of America that sold it, and I got suckered in. I hated the way it made me feel–all jittery and I only took them a couple of times. I’d find them again months later (because I just can’t throw stuff away, you know) and try them again and hate them again.
Ahh, I also did the Metabolife in high school. I have no idea why I thought I needed it then because I was 5’6″ and 150 lbs., but I loved the stuff. I lost 20 lbs. and kept it off, even when I stopped taking the pills…which I only did because my mom urged me to stop after a few people died from heart attacks while on the pills.
Of course, they still offer those same pills but minus the dangerous ephedra. Guess what it was replaced with? Caffeine.
I tried them for two weeks or so once. Did nothing except exacerbate my insomnia.
Ugh. Diet pills – the heart wreakers.
Those and laxatives were “friends” of mine for years and years – doing a lot of damage – as I became almost addicted to the popping of those pills (the actual popping process not so much the pills themselves) and the pain that sometimes accompanied them.
I understand why a lot of people with eating disorders get so addicted (aside from the OCD tendencies that accompany), especially anorectics, as if you are anorectic you probably are losing weight (from other unhealthy means) and are attributing the diet pills to part of your success formula.
I’m rambling. But diet pills are a counter solution as they DO mess up your metabolism and heart.
Diet pills for me were easier to give up because of the way they made my heart feel.
I tried once, after my second was weaned from nursing. I took them for a bout a week, and they did nothing. I knew going in that they wouldn’t work, but I was desperate.
I, too, love testimonials! But I’m a sucker for workout programs. After spending more money than I should have (and selling most of the DVDs on Amazon), I think I have finally learned my lesson.
But I’ll still watch the infomercials!
Me too with the workout programs. I love, love the infomercials. So far, I’ve only bought two of the programs but I reeealllyy want a third.
Yeah, it’s addictive, lol!
The closest I’ve come to diet pills was the couple of times I took diuretic pills for a few days before a big event. Now I just drink enough water that I don’t need to worry about making myself pee, I can barely control it! My friend took Metabolife in high school, and holy crap did it turn her into a ditz! She took a left turn OVER a median because she just couldn’t focus. Incidentally, we were turning into an Olive Garden at the time, so apparently the Metabolife wasn’t exactly curbing her appetite as well as it promised!
In the midst of gaining weight in ED recovery I bought that Alli stuff because it was FDA approved and everything, not like those scary diet pills that the scientist in me would never let myself take. Never mind the ridiculousness of buying a weight loss pill while simultaneously trying to gain weight or that I’d read the studies and side-effects about Alli. I think I took it twice before I came to my senses. Nice waste of money there.
I have to admit I do still fantasize about getting a prescription for Adderall and solving all my problems that way but it’s not something I’d ever act on.
Oh yes, I too have subjected myself to the xenedrine and acai pills that claim to “make you not want to eat all day!” combined with exercising way too much and little food, I looked like the gnarly little shrimp muppet from “muppets tonight”….I believe his name was Pepe? yes, you should look him up 🙂
I also love me some SBTB and truly believed that if pills were bad for Jessie, then they most certainly were bad for me! thank goodness she was around during highschool!
Every Other Day Diet Plan is getting popular to diet enthusiasts nowadays because of the good and effective results that they can offer to people who wants to be fit and healthy!
first diet pill experience was college. i bought some random package at the drugstore and popped two pills on my 1 mile walk back to the dorms. by the time i got to my room, i felt sick and sweaty and dizzy and went to bed. the next morning i was so disoriented when i got out of bed that i fell headfirst into my desk and had to go to the ER for stitches above my left eye and through my eyebrow. i still have slight scars to remind me everyday.
after college, when i had my first office job, i was so crazy, i saved up all my money and ordered phentermine (yes, the phen of phen-fen fame) from a totally not legit seeming online pharmacy and had it delivered to my office so my live-in boyfriend wouldn’t find out and then carefully rationed them out, taking half a pill at a time with a diet coke chaser. i lost an insane amount of weight during this time, but i was also a diagnosed purging anorexic, so… you know. i just wanted to quit having to puke. it made things cleaner and easier. until it started making my heart feel funny and my moods more intolerable. but that didn’t stop me from reordering one more time and hoarding that bottle. they were like a safety blanket in my mind, even though lord knows what i was popping in my mouth.
in a way, i think that adderall, if you can con it out of an actual doctor and buy it from an actual pharmacy, is probably a lot safer than ordering random shit from a skeezy online pharmacy. not that either is a good idea.
i am diet-pill free these days, but it’s always tempting.
I’m skeptical that diet pills work at all, but I will never use them and suggest that no one does. Even if they do work, it is just taking the easy way out. Popping a pill to lose weight is such an american thing to do, and it’s no surprise because americans are the only ones that need weight loss pills. Do it the old fashion way exercise and diet. You want to be healthy don’t you?
I took Hydroxycut back when it had ephedra in it– it didn’t make me skinny, I just felt jittery and bad. My favorite quote on this topic is from Oprah, who once said to a guest if there was a pill that worked, she would have, tell her audience about it, and give it out as one of her “favorite things.” I briefly worked in a uspplement store and I was a terrible salesperson because I was always talking people out of buying diet pills and just advising them to eat better and exercise (which generally they were not doing, anyway– everyone just wants a magic solution!)
Dang Charlotte, those are some scary experiences! I remember the caffeine pill run. No fun. I not only bought into diet pills but even weight loss patches! If that’s not a scam then nothing is. And the best part of all those products is that after some initial success the “money making opportunities” follow. “Oh, you’ve lost 10 pounds, you should refers this to 10 friends and we’ll give you a free case of pills and a pink cadillac!” Super lame. As always, thanks for the honesty!
Charlotte, you are so friggin honest & lay it all out there for people to learn from…. amazing!
Yes, when I was younger I did try some stuff & even a little bit of the taking laxatives.. did not last long on that one!
I wish this would be more common knowledge, but like you, I have tried countless diet pills and to no avail. All it got me was addicted to caffeine and a hell of a rough finals week when I decided to stop taking them. I don’t think I ever really lost weight nor was my appetite suppressed that much. They’re a waste of money and sometimes I wondered if they’ve screwed up some things internally because I’m so sensitive to some things now. Diet pills don’t work. Period. And it makes me sick to see awesome trainers like Jillian Michaels and Bob Harper start endorsing diet pills/supplements. Anyone else think that’s an oxymoron!?
Wait Bob Harper has pills now too?!? Yes that totally hypocritical! So glad you’ve learned your lesson too but I’m sorry you had to learn it the hard way like I did!
Oh yeah, he just announced it on his blog: http://www.mytrainerbob.com/blog/new-beginnings
Sad business.
And to think, I used to think Bob was the sane one. I’ve lost respect for both of them as trainers.
The comments about Adderall are interesting. I have also fantasized about getting a prescription for these pills- and it seems like it would be easy enough to do, but I know I don’t have a legitimate reason to take them and I am too bad of a liar to try. However, I do have friends that take Adderall and I have seen some of the negative aspects of if. A friend who takes it for ADHD told me that he wants to get off of it (his dosage is really high at this point) but when he tries all he does is sleep all day. I remember him losing a lot of weight when he started on it, but his body seems to have grown accustomed to it and now he is probably near the weight he was at when he started (this is at least 6 years later). Another friend of mine was using it mostly because he has a drug problem and the results of that are all pretty sad and I don’t want to go into detail. Adderall is really addictive. Seeing some of this up close has pretty much changed my mind about Adderall. I am sure some people can use it in a beneficial way for themselves. However, I think that for a lot of people it could be doing more harm than good.
I’ve bought and taken diet pills a couple of times in the past, but never had any crazy experiences. Actually, I would kind of forget about them for a few days, remember, and take them again for a day or two. Now that I know more about health and wellness, I wonder what I was thinking 10 years ago when I decided, hey, maybe the answer IS in a pill.
I don’t exactly know how, but the Jessie Spano pill episode comes up fairly frequently in my husband’s and my conversations. They usually end with one of us proclaiming, “I’m so….{gasp} scared!” and then dissolving into giggles. I
Saved by the bell? Oh yeah. We must obviously be in the same age range. I saw them all, including the college years and the weddings etc… They were lame then, even more so now. I laughed when I saw your reference to that!
Diet pills, well I agree that if they actually worked people would be/get skinny and stay that way. It is a bunch of hype yet some people are so easily convinced that the new thing will do the trick. (I’m married to one). I’ve been there, done that. Nothing as severe as your experiences but I’ve had my share of them. I think I’ve tried all of them out there except Alli – I just couldn’t break down and spend that for them. I do catch myself on the diuretic kick sometimes and I am left feeling sluggish and having my BP drop. Why do we do this to ourselves??? Nice post.
I’m a bit of an amateur herbalist, and it bums me out a little that when people find this out they often ask “What’s the best herb to lose weight? Hoodia? Garcinia? The now-illegal-as supplement ephedra?” And I always answer honestly: “There is no herb on earth that will make anyone lose weight. Exercise and healthy eating and portion control is the only way.” Even prescription drugs have a very poor record — either they work, but are dangerous and/or addictive (amphetemines back in the 60s, I think [before my time], the phen-fen debacle in the nineties, etc.) or they work “when used in conjunction with a healthy diet and exercise” (in other words, they don’t work!) Even knowing all this, I would probably be tempted to try diet pills if it weren’t for the fact that I’m a huge hypochondriac. I am getting imaginary heart palpitations just thinking about it….
After the birth of our born still daughter, feeling desperate to lose those many pounds, I tried a health pill (Peak Performance) that was advertised on a local Christian station. The dosage was 2 or 3 pills a day. I started with one and was so jittery and nervous…but with more energy than I’d had in a long time..that I continued taking them until noticing the break dancing my heart was doing. Turns out it had ma huang. Heavy sigh.
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A high fiber diet can have similar or better weight loss benefits without the side effects of Alli.
I am about to blow the lid of a big, deep conspiracy that has kept people falling off the fitness wagon and failing
diet after diet after diet. It’s recommended that you consult your doctor before trying any diet pill.
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One time I took diet pills, and all they did was hype me up more than I ever felt in my life. When I looked up the active ingredient, the only way I could describe it is essentially synthetic cocaine. I’m sure this pretty much describes all of them.
At that I only took the recommended dosage, I wasn’t trying to be a hero or make unrealistic goals with it. I just expected it to be an “enhancement” to weight loss. Such a thing should be possible in this day of age. It did nothing besides make me feel horrible and leave a psychological impact on my pscyh having to be like that for like ten hours straight.
I see all the time trainers, weight lifers, and athletes treat diet pills as just another element to their regime. What’s the point of feeling energetic if it’s only because you’re freaking out? Diet pills would be better off being marketed toward people who want to stay awake, not lose weight. This is what happens when you have a product with almost zero regulation. There isn’t even a way to tell the difference between one diet pill and the next. Is a “fat blocker” the same as a “carb blocker”? I know those things process differently in my body, and are both just going to end up being a laxative or synthetic cocaine? We’re living in age of God damn nanobots, but we can’t make a functioning “enhancement drug” that can just help us lose extra weight while we do the rest of the work?
With obesity legally classified as a disease, maybe they will give them some serious thought. If Michelle Obama is so interested in our children’s double-chins, maybe they should consider tightening the FDA’s grip on diet pills to distinguish functioning medicine from Snake Oil. Maybe they should look into opening public gyms for everyone, or artificially taxing “bad food” and subsidizing/force the cheapening of “good food”. But than that wouldn’t fit into Monsanto’s plan to release corn syrup on a stick, rather than paying small farmers to put non-tortured meats on shelves and fresh vegetables.
I don’t mean to turn this into a political rant, but the two subjects intertwine when we live in a culture that puts so much emphasis on appearance and health when we’re only getting fatter.
I VERY much doubt the “CEO of Nintendo” ever said that…