The pizza plate reads “Do you really need that second helping?”
Inscribed with sayings like “For the love of god stop eating,” “It’s hard to be around you when you eat like this,” and simply “Big Mistake.”, a new line of plates and bowls cutely named Intervention Ware chide you even if no one else is around to see you pull out the Ben & Jerry’s at midnight. But are these dishes are motivating or just chanelling your abusive ex-boyfriend? Does the tough love approach really work?
As long as overbearing grandmothers have been around, tough love has been used but it’s only been recently when Jillian Michaels, the book Skinny Bitch, and others made it cool that it’s started to really come into vogue as a dieting tactic. While I couldn’t find any research studies looking specifically at tough love and dieting, there is a lot of research that shows people are only temporarily motivated by negative consequences. Psychologists note that while punishment and shaming – staples of tough love – can bring about quick change, it isn’t often lasting change. And in the world of health and weight loss, lasting change is the only thing that matters. In fact, riding the weight roller coaster can be worse for you than just staying heavy.
For me personally, all I’d be inspired to do is throw my dinner plate against the wall (please don’t be plastic!) but on the other hand, there are lots of Life Change stories that start with someone being shocked by a rude comment or seeing an unflattering picture which led them to ditch their unhealthy habits. Perhaps some people prefer a little tough love? The tagline for Intervention Ware is “Serve up a heaping scoop of guilt!” In this spirit I’d like to suggest that Intervention Ware branch out into other guilty products:
– Dental floss that reads, “Unless your name is Uncle Vinny there is no way you can rock a gold tooth.”
– Hand soap that says, “Do you really trust the toilet paper manufacturers that much?”
– Television remote that reminds you, “Sitting will make you die younger! Plus, they’re all air-brushed anyhow – you don’t need to watch this crap.”
– A bottle of wine that says, “You remembered to take your birth control, right?”
– A cell phone start screen that reads, “Oprah was right about you – you’re not as good a driver as you think you are. Don’t even think about texting.”
– A car dashboard message that says, “Why did God give you legs again?”
What do you think about these dishes – good portion control reminder or just plain rude? Have you ever been positively motivated by a negative event (seeing a “fat” pic, getting called out for ordering an unhealthy meal, trying to help your kid ride their bike and not being able to jog to keep up etc.)? Anyone have any other good “Intervention Ware” ideas??
Excerpted from my post on iVillage.
Honestly I think it’s de-motivating. What about the times when you are eating healthy? You are still being chided by your china. Negativity breeds more negativity…I think being positive and focusing on what small positive changes you can make with regards to diet, exercise, etc is much more realistic and will pave the way for long term success.
We beat ourselves up enough already…we don’t need our dishes to do that too.
This: “We beat ourselves up enough already…we don’t need our dishes to do that too.” Exactly!
Ridiculous. Agreed that there are already too many negative messages out there. Food should be enjoyed!!
Good point – this takes all the fun right out of eating.
I don’t mind having some negative slogans around…I don’t know if it’s what I want around all the time or written on every plate (what if I’m eating a heaping-helping of tasty good for me salad? do i really need to see nasty messages underneath it?), but there are times when I need a little tough love. My favorite mantra at the end of a long day when I want to bury my feelings in food is, “Do not reward yourself with food. You are not a dog.” … which seems on the tough love side of the equation.
I would LOVE a wine bottle with BC warnings on it! How about a margarita glass that says, “Do you really want to throw up in technicolor tomorrow?”
Hahah – I love it! And I think the “you are not a dog” comment is pretty positive, really. It would make me smile, anyhow.
I am not motivated by snarky or rude comments or anything that AT ALL borders on insensitivity. I am hurt by them, actually.
There is a difference between being blunt, direct, to the point, and honest vs. “cute sayings” or “motivational tough love” type sayings…which I rarely find cute or funny or motivating. It’s just not my sense of humor or personality.
But to each her own!
Oh man, I totally fell into the negative motivation category for years and it never really worked for me. Sure I’d be temporarily inspired to make a “life change.” But the constant shaming and punishment just brought out the worst of disordered eating: hiding what I ate, bargaining with exercise/diuretics and full on out of control binges believing I wasn’t worth it and could never achieve “perfect”. It wasn’t until I let go of the negative motivation and decided to change my relationship with food and exercise for fitness rather than thinness that I actually began to be successful in the weight loss department. I’m all about the self love when it comes to food. I’m not always perfect at it. I still catch myself now and then counting calories and calculating how many miles to work it off, but then I get back on track and remind myself how much happier, and healthier, I am now. 9 months after starting on this journey and I can honestly say it’s the best non diet I’ve ever tried. I’ve been healed in every aspect.
This: ” It wasn’t until I let go of the negative motivation and decided to change my relationship with food and exercise for fitness rather than thinness that I actually began to be successful in the weight loss department.” is so powerful! And pretty much exactly how it worked for me too. Bravo!
Rude. I think most women have enough negative talk floating around in their heads without their dishes reinforcing those thoughts.
I don’t think it’s good at all. We have enough negativity coming our way, causing us to feel unnecessary guilt about our bodies, eating, etc.
I’m a fighter, I’d get defensive and start arguing with the plate. I do love the idea for the handsoap one, though. I think I’ll make a sign and post it in the bathroom.
And tough love, in this case nagging, doesn’t work. The comment may have come from some rude comment or some realization, but it takes inner drive to make and maintain a goal.
How much do I wish I could see this: “I’d get defensive and start arguing with the plate” ??? Awesome.
” Have you ever been positively motivated by a negative event?” Yes and no. Negative, rude comments have motivated my to lose weight in the past, but it didn’t last. Finally, when I changed my focus from “how much” I eat, to “what” I eat (mostly whole, plant-based food), and improving my health instead of my looks, that’s when the weight stayed off.
I love this: “when I changed my focus from “how much” I eat, to “what” I eat (mostly whole, plant-based food), and improving my health instead of my looks, that’s when the weight stayed off.” So true and that’s pretty much how it worked for me too.
Blech. Perfect for the blossoming anorexic.
I used to have a t-shirt that said “Eat Your Vegetables” with beautiful sketches of cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers, etc. That’s my kind of motivation.
Imagine if you got the “Big Mistake” plate at a bridal shower…
Ouch.
Buwhahaha! Oh but the fun you could have!
Thumbs down on the plates, etc!
I think that is is important not to enable bad behaviors and to tell people what they need to hear whether or not they want to listen, but then that’s my job.
I think this is a horrible idea! I used to tell myself those same things (do you really need another helping), why would I want to SEE that as well?
Good point – I think most of us already have those kinds of thoughts rolling around in our heads.
Oh, I HATE those dishes! It would be like paying for an eating disorder.
I have been motivated by negativity a time or two, but that kind of motivation is short-lived. Seeing that fat picture of myself might get me to eat healthier or making me feel guilty might get me to the gym, but what keeps me going are the positive changes I see and feel within myself. After a while, the fat pictures are who I used to be, and the guilt just gets annoying.
We should really market those wine bottle labels. It’s not like you’re busy or anything, right?
Hahah – yeah I get punchy when I blog late at night;)
Oh … what awful, shaming dishes. I think we ought to have a party and break them all … but I suppose that would mean buying some in the first place??
… I did sort of like the other product ideas, though. LOL 🙂
Thanks – I was kind of proud of those myself:) That’s what late-night blogging does to me…
Ugh, I already have enough guilt! I don’t need any lip from my plates!
Tough love has never worked for me. It only undermines what I’m trying to accomplish. (And makes me want to smack the person who’s speaking to me in such a rude manner! Seriously, were they raised in a barn?!?!?!) I also think there’s quite more than enough rudeness and negativity going around these days. It’s like we’ve all reverted back to high school!
(But I like your ideas. Especially the wine, LOL!)
” I also think there’s quite more than enough rudeness and negativity going around these days.” So so true. The world does not need any more hateful words spoken or written – we have enough for an eternity.
I’d just talk back to the plates and possibly even throw at the wall. I’m just not a fan of guilt in any circumstance. It’s why I quit Weight Watchers; I couldn’t sit around listening to sad women talking about how they felt guilty every time they wanted to eat something “they shouldn’t.” Why would I want my plates to *try* to do the same thing to me?
I find your reason for quitting WW very interesting. I have some friends who’ve had a very positive uplifting experience with it but then others, like you, who felt like it was negative, encouraged disordered eating etc. Perhaps it depends on which group you end up in?
I think it entirely depends on your leader and the people in your group. My WW leader is constantly telling her members not to “should” themselves. Life is about making mistakes, learning from them, and moving on. If you’re constantly ashamed of choices you’re making, you’re not learning anything.
Agreed. Rude. My mom always tried to nag me into losing weight, and it didn’t work, it just made me feel bad. If my mom can’t tell me what to do, some stinkin’ plate surely isn’t going to. Since I 95% of the time eat healthy at home, the plates would just be ironic. What, stupid plate? I don’t NEED the second portion of chicken and veggie stir fry after running 10 miles? I beg to differ, dinnerware. 😛
The mental image of you sassing your dinner plate has me giggling. Love it.
I would find it demotivating. I don’t need my dishes nagging me…inanimate objects should not talking to me! This isn’t tough love so much as guiltcausing nagging…
This may be why I am not a huge fan of Jillian anymore – words should inspire not hurt.
The tough love concept for food & healthy living backfired big time when my mother tried to use it on me. Instead of being inspired I was not only demoralized but fought back via Snickers and chocolate shakes.
Although I do love “You are not a dog…do not reward yourself with food” so I reward myself with shoes, purses & earrings 😀
SHOES! Yes, please!! And I agree with you totally about Jillian.
Prefer humorous dinnerware. Once gave as a gift to my Mom a plate with a cartoon of a very obese but smiling woman that said “Happily dying of chocolate.”
Loved the pic of it you sent me!
I’m looking for a way to kickstart another bout to the gym. My super short and strapless bridesmaid dress for a wedding in February (Brrrrrr) might be motivation. Its a strange positive/fear of being unfortunately bare in front of friends and family. There is nothing I can really do about my pasty whitness though. That will have to stay.
This looks like a case for GTL! Gym, Tan, Laundry. (The laundry part is incidental to the acronym, but I expect that you will develop some dirty clothes between now and February.) Don’t worry though: Good GTL’rs get spray tans, so they don’t get cancer!
I guess the question to answer is white or orange.
Or maybe you could wear some cute tights?
Oh my pale sister, I think pasty whiteness is beautiful! As for the gym, find something you love to do! Have you ever tried TurboKick or Zumba? Freaking riot.
I will say that a few photos of myself motivated me to lose the 20lbs which I blamed on the dryer making all od my clothes tight! Other than that, there’s enough negativity out there but I do kinda/sorta see the humor (but I like dark humor!)
I think that is they made the sayings more funny and clever it’d be an awesome idea! But the examples you’ve shown no I don’t think it’d work.
These plates remind me of that gym that had big billboards proclaiming “No Fatties!” Unless I’m mistaken, the one in my area went out of business. I don’t know if it was a chain or what, but it didn’t catch on in any case.
Thank goodness! That’s horrible.
If you really like something like that, why don’t you just take a sharpie to a paper plate and write your own little scolding reminders? They may be even more motivating.
Personally, if I’m eating bad food I’d rather just fully enjoy it and get back to the diet tomorrow.
Oooh maybe I should take a sharpie to a paper plate and see what motivational saying I could come up with! Craft project!!
Looks like the messages would be under the food. You wouldn’t get the (negative) feedback until it was too late. What good is a “stop eating!” scold if you don’t see it until after you’ve scarfed down the meal?
I’d prefer positve reinforcement. There’s definitely too much negativity in the world. If someone is trying to get in shape, that’s a good thing and it should be approached from the positive. Let’s not turn something wonderful into something hateful.
Haha – very good (and practical) point! I love this: ‘ Let’s not turn something wonderful into something hateful.” Totally agree!
good article . please continue writing.
It’s funny to be reading this at the moment actually, because recently bought a set of carousel plates from Anthropologie in order to encourage me to eat… It makes eating more fun… I mean, c’mon… carousel horses on plates?!?
Anyhoo, it saddens me that people think that being guilted with regards to food is okay or that it’s an effective weight loss technique.
Additionally, I think it’s important to note that what that “intervention ware” is failing to take into account is that quality of food generally matters more than quantity when it comes to health.
You lost me at “carousel plates from Anthropologie” – I had to immediately google it. GORGEOUS. Now I want some. Wait, what were we talking about again?
Hahaha… I work at Anthro and got them on sale during employee appreciation (meaning: 40% off of the sale price of $7.99 – how can you beat that?? I got two of the mint and two of the rose) – I love them. How could you not like eating off of them? I reserve them for meals I’ve taken the time to cook and prepare
oh now I’m super off topic…
These would totally backfire for me because I still function with a 4 year old mentatlity…”You can’t tell me what to do”. I’d just end up proving those plates wrong!
I think people are different & some do like the tough love – the Jillian type lovers although she is soft behind the scenes & they like not to show that.
Hey, the dishes may help some BUT I think it is up to the person to buy them on their own if they think it will help them stop.. it might if it is the own person’s decision to use them.
funniest post ever
Well thank you!
I actually registered for a set of those dishes (as in, one of each) for my wedding last month. I think they’re funny. I’ve had my disordered eating issues, and I saw the potentially negative interpretation, but I never considered anyone actually “using” them for motivation or portion control, or anything other than mild amusement.
Then again, my humor does tend to error on the side of “just plain rude” and I have little patience for positive motivation.
I definitely think that different personalities respond better to different types of motivation. So glad you figured out what works for you! And hey, I thought the coffee mug was hilarious. I hope you got one of those for your wedding!
After I read your description of those dishes I called my husband (we were both at work) and we both got a good chuckle out of them. Especially “for the love of god stop eating” — we both found that hilarious! So if the dishes were supposed to be funny–then yeah, they are. (Like that demotivational poster of Dr. Phil saying “You’re fat and don’t try to sugar coat it cause you’ll just eat that too” that you have used to illustrate your posts is funny.) But if the dishes are supposed to actually be motivational — then no, it would just tick me off. Like when I was in the Army, and some fitness/healthy eating “extremists” in my group of friends would try to chide me for eating a candy bar — “Do you know how many miles you’d have to run to burn that off?” Never worked on me. Actually, that kind if talk always made me want to eat another one, enjoying every bite, just to spite them! (OK, and then run however many miles to burn it off…I wasn’t immune to the guilt talk, just annoyed by it.)
“I wasn’t immune to the guilt talk, just annoyed by it.” Oh I know that feeling! And yeah good point about the Dr. Phil poster – that still makes me laugh.
Rather than “Intervention Ware” they should call it “Eating Disorder Ware.” Seriously, what non-ill person would find those slogans and such to be good motivators? I never really liked the tough love approach. It either leads to revolting against the person providing the tough love or becoming completely self hating. Either way, the negativity leads to hate and that is never helpful.
Holy wow, those are hilarious! If you were raised Catholic they are perfect for an extra scoop of guilt with your dinner. I wouldn’t want them, I get enough self-flogging in on a daily basis, but they are good for a giggle.
Ha ha I love these, I’d use them myself. Don’t know that I’d find it motivating though – just amusing. I wouldn’t dare use them for visitors though! Can just see the look on my Mums face if I gave her a plate of food with “do you really need that second helping” inscribed around the edge!