“Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault!” Phoebe’s second best song, right after the hair one. You know you laughed.
Motivational speakers are famous for saying things about leaning ladders against the right building or shooting arrows at the right target or marrying the right Kardashian when it comes to the importance of setting goals. (Some day you too could break your own sex swing! Whee!) I’d have the exact quote for you except that I’m too busy running around climbing ladders in shooting ranges and shooting arrows at reality stars. My point: I don’t have one. That’s kind of the problem. I’m known for getting lost in the details and losing the big picture. Plus I find goal-making boring. (My other point: And I wonder why people don’t ask me to be a motivational speaker.)
But goal setting is important and fitness is a perfect example of why. Everyone knows somebody who’s been running the same 5-mile loop or doing the same weight routine for 10 years with little to show for it but shin splints or a bad back. Exercise can be one of those things that by its very nature is easy to do by rote to the point where you literally end up running in place. (Treadmill, anyone?) Reader Sam hit on this in her comment on my post “Run, Eat, Don’t Repeat“:
I love your blog and lurk often, though I personally don’t like eclectic/unspecific training and prefer to stick to my sport. I feel that’s my personal way to sanity: focus on performance (in my case, speed–I’m working on a sub-19:00 5k at the moment) instead of appearance. Focusing on how I feel is too nebulous for me, and I don’t love working out enough to do it purely for fun; I like competing. I guess you just enjoy the smorgasboard, eh? That is something I am curious about from time to time: your exercise goals. It seems hard to achieve anything big without focusing for more than a year on ONE thing.
First, huge kudos to Sam for her (I am assuming she is a girl but now that I type this I realize could be a boy?) goal. 5K in 19 minutes is a 6 minute/mile pace! I can’t even run one mile in six minutes much less 3.2 of them. (Once, before this latest round of Gym Babies was born*, Gym Buddy Allison and I ran a mile in 5:52 but since Jelly Bean was born my fastest time has been a 6:30. And it killed me. ) But as I admired her goal I realized that was her point: she can run that fast because she trains for it. I can’t run that fast because I don’t.
Here was my reply to her:
What are my exercise goals? My main one is to live a happy, healthy life. (Isn’t everyone’s?) But I do have smaller goals. They used to be more achievement oriented (like run a mile under 6 minutes, which would be cake for you!) but now they are more experience oriented (like I want to try aerial yoga, krav maga and durian fruit before I die). It’s true that my ADD approach to fitness rules out being really good at any one thing but for me personally I’ve decided that I’d rather be kind of good at many different things than great at one thing.
It’s a very real trade off and one that took me some time to figure out. Me being me, when I first started my fitness journey, I wanted to be the best! at! everything!! (Particularly ironic considering I have never in my life been the best at any sort of physical endeavor ever.) But over the years I’ve realized that the social and entertainment aspects of exercise are as important to me as the health benefits and to maintain a good balance of those, I had to give up the idea of ever accomplishing Something Big. Admittedly this wasn’t as hard for me to give up as it is for some people. I think those who have been close to Big or perhaps even were Big – which I never have nor was – have more of a need to keep striving for it. And the world needs people like that – the big dreamers, the ones who do the big things and inspire the rest of us. But that wasn’t me.
Still, letting go of the numbers felt a little bit like losing control. And I am, let’s be honest, a control freak. So while achieving Something Big is an important motivator for some people, learning to let it go was what was important for me. It was about recognizing that what I want and what I need are not always the same thing. It was about realizing that my kids’ dreams have to come first now. It was about swallowing my pride and recognizing that I’ll never be the fastest, strongest, thinnest or (cue frowny face) even the funniest.
Those of you who have read this blog for the past 5 years have seen that evolution in action and know all the growing pains involved. But sometimes I think I don’t say enough about all that I’ve gained from that small sacrifice. I’m so much happier – to infinity, and beyond! – than I was before. And I’m healthier too, both physically and mentally, which is what I was aiming for in the the first place. I’m not as skinny as I set out to be but instead of being sad about that I’ve learned that skinny is not a great goal. None of which is to say that it’s bad to be goal-oriented or to have big goals or to devote your life to a particular achievement. I’m only trying to say that it wasn’t right for me at this time.
But Sam’s question is still a great one. What are my fitness goals? As I was writing my post I realized that I can no longer separate my fitness goals from my life goals, both short term and long term. I want to be happy. I want my children to be happy. I want us to be good decent people that serve God and make a positive impact in our community. I also still want to try aerial yoga, krav maga and yeah, durian fruit is still on my list. So is a sub-6 mile. But just one. And I do want to improve my fitness. I want to be stronger and faster.
Sam also asked how I measure my progress in fitness. And I particularly like this part of the question because it reminds me to check which building my ladder is leaning up against while I’m still climbing it. There is a fitness test that the Gym Buddies and I do every 6 months or so to reevaluate and see if our workouts are doing good things for us. And tomorrow’s post is going to be all about what we test, how we test it and how ridiculous we can make ourselves look while we’re doing it!
In the meantime, what kind of fitness goals do you have? Do you prefer to work towards one big thing or do you take a more scattered approach? Anyone else hope that Kris Jenner doesn’t allow the two youngest Kardashians to watch their own reality show?
*Since she announced it on Facebook, I think it’s all right to share the good news: Gym Buddy Allison is preggo! She’s just finishing up her first tri and makes pregnancy look amazing!
smelly cat haha that’s funny. but an amazing pregnancy look!
I make ZERO fitness goals except gitting up the next day and doing it all again.
life is my competition AND goal.
I believe that specific fitness goals of the type “I want to run 5k at under XXX min by the date YYY” are not useful for anyone but competitive athletes. The reason is that at best this is not actionable, and at worst it might do real damage if you don’t achieve the planned progress by the planned time, and decide to train twice as hard instead “to catch up”.
What I am all for are directions (“I want to improve my 5k time”; “I want to build muscle and reduce fat”) and constraints (“I am not willing to risk my health” and/or “I can only train 2x60min per week”). Personally my goal is GPP (however defined) with a strength focus, and I mix and match around this theme. I do try to follow one direction for 4-8 weeks though, otherwise it is difficult to see (and make) progress in my experience.
This: “What I am all for are directions (“I want to improve my 5k time”; “I want to build muscle and reduce fat”) and constraints (“I am not willing to risk my health” and/or “I can only train 2x60min per week”). ” is brilliant! How do you always manage to say it better in two sentences than I do with 1200 words?!
Yay! Congrats to Gym Buddy Allison!!!!!!
It’s funny, I had a moment in yoga class yesterday when I realized “Hey, I’m getting better at this!” Practicing consistently for 6 months has actually made a difference. Who knew?
See, I tend to view myself as a bit of a lump. So I was surprised, again, when we did some yoga core work and, thanks to my Pilates habit (going into my 7th year!), I didn’t struggle at all. And, when I caught a reflection of myself at the skating rink later that afternoon, I noticed I’ve got some nice muscle tone in my legs and behind. I’m so used to focusing on the negative and seeing myself as a non-athletic klutz that I miss the progress I’m making.
I never gave myself goals like running a mile in X minutes or the like. For me, for too long, it was about “Lose X number of pounds” or “Fit into size Y.”
Lately, though, my goals, while still nebulous, are more about health. I want to live as long as possible and be here for my kids, so I’m doing everything I can to achieve that. I want to live in a state of loving kindness, not fear and guilt.I want my kids to be proud of themselves, and to know how proud their dad and I are of them.
And I want to spend more time, like we did the other night, playing and jumping on the bed, and less time trying to make everything “perfect.” ‘Cause when my time comes, I don’t want to look back and wish I’d spent more of it with the kids and less on the dishes.
” I’m so used to focusing on the negative and seeing myself as a non-athletic klutz that I miss the progress I’m making.” I’ve fallen into that same trap myself! I love hearing about your progress!!
In answer to your questions, my goals are competition-driven usually. I like to run, but unless I have a race I’m training for I have a hard time getting myself out the door. If I’m trying to run a faster time or race a new distance, that kind of challenge motivates me.
But the main reason I’m commenting is …WHY do you want to eat durian fruit?? I’m actually in China now where it’s relatively abundant and every time I pass it the stench is gag-worthy. I was near someone who was eating durian fruit flavored candy and at first I thought that I was smelling natural gas. You’re forewarned … 🙂
I have been warned quite a few times! Which I think might be why I want to try it now, lol! If it’s THAT bad then I totally want to at least experience it!
My goals are also scattered, and I like it that way. I’m always looking for a blend of strength, speed, flexibility, agility and balance. (I’m sure I’m leaving out a few.) I’ve discovered as the years go by that when you focus more on particular physical goals, the harder it is on your body. For example, gymnasts are prone to arthritis as they get older, power lifters are plagued by lower back and shoulder problems, etc.
I like to sign up for races because it motivates me. I know I will never win my age group, and I’m ok with that. I want to be healthy and able to continue doing what I enjoy, for a long time. I also find that if I don’t have a race on my schedule, exercise slides down the priority list.
I get bored so easily I cannot set goals for longer than a month. I just cannot stick with the work outs necesary to meet it. At this rate I will never do 100 push ups or a single pull up, but I can do a single handstand push up, tried one on a whim.
By the way, check out fitocracy.com, it is my favourite fittness tracking site.
I’ve heard about fitocracy from a few people now – it must be really good! Heading over to check it out now – thanks for the rec!!
I want to do it all – strength, cardio, flexibility, core – but I don’t have the time or the energy to fit it all in. I’m not competitive at all and I eventually I get bored of doing the same thing over and over. So I’m more like you in what I do – I tend to jump around from one activity to the next, though there are favorites that I end up coming back to.
As far as goal go, I used to be more specific, but now it’s just about being happy and healthy. I want to be fit enough to enjoy my life and do the things I want to do. Keeping it simple has done a lot for my sanity. 🙂
I suppose I do both, but probably more of the shot gun variety. Making significant inroads in my quest for self-fitness-actualization I suppose 🙂
(I feature artillery practice this week-some kind of Internet synergy it seems 🙂
” self-fitness-actualization” I am boggled. What does this mean??
Thinking about it, I prefer setting one or two smaller, more realistic goals every year. Last year’s goal was to finish a 5 k race without any walking breaks. I did that, and even more. This year’s goal is to finish a half marathon. Eek!
My other ‘goals’ are much less specific, like getting/staying as fit, healthy, strong, and happy as possible.
I also have a ‘bucket list’ of things that I want to do, like scuba diving, horseback riding, and that half marathon thing.
Side note: One of our local Asian grocery stores sells frozen durians. So far, I’ve been too scared to try. I’ve heard it’s really gross.
I know – I’ve heard they’re super nasty too! Which is why I want to try one – I think just so I can say I did it, lol!
I am a girl, not to worry.
And this week I realized that there is one serious drawback to specificity: namely, I injured my foot. I’ve been forced to get a little creative about exercise, since I had to take a few days off running. So there’s the cautionary tale appended neatly to my question. Why do a variety of physical activity? Well, because you could hurt yourself. Bummer.
And now, off to the gym to attempt spinning. (I embarrass myself when I cross-train. Who knew spinning involved coordination? Or that you could make the bike slide gradually backwards into the person behind you via improper pedaling?).
P.S. I’m flattered that you posted my question. You are a classy lady. And I’m very interested in your self-fitness test.
Hahah – So much in this comment made me grin! (Although not your injury – soooo sorry to hear about that!) “Who knew spinning involved coordination? Or that you could make the bike slide gradually backwards into the person behind you via improper pedaling?” I love this because I would so do the same thing!! And you know how I love me a good cautionary tale;) Fitness test is all ready to go live tonight! Thanks again for your q and for your insightful comments – so fun to be able to discuss stuff like this with rational people!!
I always wanted to be the best at everything. I was that kid that signed up for every club in school and tried to become president of all of them (with occassionaly disasterous results). They just all seemed so interesting and I wanted to make a contribution!
After years of getting upset that some people were so much better dancers or piano players or rock climbers or whatever than me, I realized (with the help of some reality checks from my friends) that it was because I was a dancer and a piano player and a rock climber, while the people I was envying just focused on one.
While I’m still envious of those talented people, I, like you, would prefer to be good at a lot of things rather than great at a few things.
That being said, I do still set goals for myself. Currently, I’m working on finishing a 5k without walking any of it and learning to play “Rainbow Connection” on the banjo.
Also, I haven’t done Aerial Yoga, but Aerial Silks are super fun!
I’ve only got to try aerial silks once but it was A RIOT. I so wish I could do it again (no time + no money + no childcare = 🙁 ) And this: “learning to play “Rainbow Connection” on the banjo.” makes me so happy! I love that song!!
My goal is just to try lots of things- when it comes to food, exercise, experiences in general. I especially like new clothes and nail polish, but really, any new thing will do.
I figure, if I keep trying lots of things, not only will I never get bored, but perhaps I’ll find the one activity that I *truly* love, the one that I can be 75 and still want to do every day, because at this point, the only thing I still want to do every day is sleep and eat…
Yay! Babies!
Oh Durian fruit! I LOVE it!! though it smells terrible :). I have had both tasty durian and horrible durian…I don’t know what caused it though. Maybe ripeness? Hmmmm…anyway, you should go for it.
See? THIS is why I need to try it!
Ohhh, I’m excited for this fitness test. I can tell that I’m less winded at the end of a Zumba class these days but I’d love to have something to really measure what the past 6 months of committed working out has done. (Not that I’ll really know without a baseline but whatevs…)
I guess my goals at the moment are to be in better shape overall and look better. I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought about it so I think you make a good point about trying to know where you want to be. Just a couple weeks ago it occurred to me that I probably needed to up my weights. I’ve been so focused on going to the gym and getting my workouts in I think I was missing that making progress is key too. If I keep doing the same thing it won’t change.
Congrats to Allison!
Oh, and I love Smelly Cat. My family had a cat named Elliot who passed gas a lot, so we called him Smelly Elliot. Then we would serenade him with Phoebe’s song whenever he let a smelly one out.
This is a tough one. I find if I am too general (I want to be strong) I kind of slack off with nothing specific. It is neat though to discover you can do things you couldn’t before because you’re stronger (hello divebomber pushups!!). I’d love a fitness test to just know where I’m at. I took time off over holidays to nurse my knee and would like to have a “reference” point to go from. I do better with goals. Ones I can actually measure are ones I actually achieve…and then freak out because I now need another one 😛 Non-measurable ones make me crazy…this I have learned.
I have a new goal as of this weekend that is super exciting- we are going to the UK in May for a kindred friend’s wedding and are taking extra time to go on a (squee) 5 day hike holiday up in scotland. Working out routes of about 22K a day over hilly coastal scottish terrain. Now to figure out how to get my muscles ready for hiking. Me hee! 🙂
Oooh that is so exciting! I can’t wait to hear all about your trip!
I’m with Emily. Durian fruit smells TERRIBLE! And I’ve heard the whole “smells terrible tastes great” thing is a lie.
I have always been terribly uncoordinated and not very good at sports, so focusing on one thing and trying to get really good at it just doesn’t work for me. And neither does competition. Almost all of my fitness activities are driven by trying to improve my fitness for specific activities- activities which I find really fun.
So I train hard to be a better mountain biker (mostly by biking, but also with core exercises, weight lifting etc.) so that I can do more interesting trails, or keep up to people. The same goes for skiing, or hiking.
I like your whole training to keep up with people goal – I’m a really social person too and I find this really motivating. It’s way more fun sharing a fun hike (or bike trail) with a friend!
I have one specific goal–I want to squat 1 1/2x my bodyweight for reps by the end of the year (180 or so). I won’t be horribly disappointed if I don’t make it, as long as I’m making progress with all my lifts going up over time and I manage to stay healthy. I have some more nebulous appearance goals but really, they *are* nebulous.
Woohoo! Let me know when you get there (as I’m sure you will)!!
I also want to try durian.
Let me say up front that I’m a serious type A overachiever. I do a functional fitness class with a trainer whose philosophy is that exercise should make your everyday life easier–lifting, twisting, carrying, overall endurance, lots of core, that kind of stuff. The class is a blast and always challenging–I sometimes think that I’m not making progress because the exercises never seem to get easier, but I’m much stronger than I was 1.5 years ago when I started. I also do kettlebell sport and would like to enter a competition in the fall, and I was trying to decide if I want to sign up for a road race or two this summer. I think it’s good to set a goal every now and again–it forces you to narrow your focus, get serious and gives you a benchmark of sorts. Having said that, I don’t think putting constant pressure on yourself to achieve something is necessarily healthy. I’m finding that as I age, I no longer feel the need to prove anything to anyone, and that life is stressful enough without putting too much pressure on myself to excel at what are essentially recreational activities that I do for fun.
I find this really encouraging: “’m finding that as I age, I no longer feel the need to prove anything to anyone, and that life is stressful enough without putting too much pressure on myself to excel at what are essentially recreational activities that I do for fun.” I’m mellowing as I get older too – hopefully that trend continues!
I can’t wait to see your fitness tests and see how I do with them!
My goals are usually directly linked to an event or a performance–
learning choreography for salsa,
or being able to do handstand pushups so I can be better at partner balancing,
etc.
And…I do want to be able to benchpress my own weight.
Like ya do.
Hey now, let’s be honest: only Allison benchpresses her bodyweight. I am still 15 pounds under mine. I believe I did my weight once. As in I moved the bar up and down a bit. We could work on this one together!
I still want to see you salsa! VIDEO.
Congrats to Allison!!! Not many fitness goals these days – just to get in some physical activity when I feel like it. I recently rejoined the Y and have been walking on an incline on the treadmill. I used to run 6 miles most mornings, but for now the 30 minutes of walking is enough. At least the incline will keep my butt in shape, right? 😉
I know, it’s kind of like you and Al are preggo buddies! And hey, walking is amazing exercise and you are an awesome mom to all your babes;)
Hi Charlotte I also agree that most of the fitness programs are a failure without targets and dedication. I come across hundreds of patients every year and most of them either aren’t able to commence a fitness program or end up with it very soon.
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You did a great conversation in here.Thanks for sharing this kind of stuff..
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