“Honey? Have I been acting crazy?” You know it’s not a good day when this is how your wife greets you as you walk in the door, fresh off a long day at the office. (When did my life become a cliche? Don’t answer that.) Although I daresay it beats out “Both toilets are clogged and we only have one plunger!” or “I started out the day with four kids but at the moment only three are accounted for!” or even “I’M FINISHED. IT’S YOUR TURN.” All of which he has also heard. My poor husband; it’s a wonder he even opens the door anymore. So I tried to wait patiently as he considered my question. “Okay, fine. Have I been crazier than usual?” The short answer – backed up by some of my friends as well – is: yes.
The problem with acting crazy is that part of the crazy is that it doesn’t feel crazy. (You still following me? It’s like the time Daniel killed Tyler but Jack got framed and so Sammy went to Emily because he’s the only one who knows she’s really Amanda and all of this could be cleared up if Sammy could just tell everyone who she really is! Except that Sammy’s a dog. And if you just followed that then you are a Revenge geek, bless you.) Anyhow, all my crazy feelings – based in reality or not – feel legitimate, hence all my responses feel logical. Even if they’re not. One of the great things about me however is that I do have a pretty good notion of when I am crazy. Even if I can’t explain why.
Rewind to about a month ago when I went to the pharmacy to pick up my monthly supply of anti-depressant pills. “These might look a little different because we switched manufacturers,” the tech told me as he handed me my baggie of fun. “But I promise they’re the same meds. Same doseage and everything.” I shrugged, trying to appear like I’m not high maintenance. “Ok, no biggie.”
[Insert 3.5 weeks of mood swings, overt sensitivity, body image crises, “fat days”, worst period in a year, irritability and way too many nobody-likes-me pity parties.]
You may have noticed? The crazy does tend to bleed out into my blog as much as I wish it didn’t.
Finally, last week as I was popping my morning pill it occurred to me that my onset of nuttier-than-normal coincided with the changing of my pills. But it couldn’t be possible. I mean, different manufacturers maybe but it’s got to be the same basic drug recipe, right? Chillingly, the answer is no. It turns out there’s no master Big Pharma Family Cookbook and each drug manufacturer develops their own formulations. Sure they’re based on the same chemicals but they’re not identical.
I called the pharmacist who kindly explained to me that my sensitivity to the slight differences in the formulations was not unheard of and actually not all that rare. “Did you Google it?” he asked, apparently forgetting that I’m the same person he specifically instructed never to Google her symptoms after the great Birth Control Debacle of ’09. Well I did then and found hundreds of stories of people experiencing the same insanity I am. While 1,000 internet anecdotes don’t make it true, I think they definitely make a case.
Pill bottle in hand, I marched myself back into the pharmacy and demanded my old pills back. Thankfully they still had some in stock and switched them out for free. The tech told me he’d put a note on my file as to which generic manufacturer I preferred. However, when I asked why I couldn’t just have the real drug, as made by the original manufacturer, he told me that no insurance would cover it anymore and unless I was willing to pay $300 out of pocket every month then I was stuck with one of the generics.
Insurance reform, please. Now.
I’ve been back on the new-old pills for about 5 days now and haven’t noticed a huge difference yet but that’s the bear about anti-depressants – they take 3-6 weeks to kick in. So it looks like I’ll be white-knuckling it through the next month or two. Upside: At least now I know that my pills really are doing something for me? My apologies in advance. Now that I know what’s going on I’ll try to keep a lid on the insanity but like I said at the beginning, it all feels real to me so please have patience with me while I try to sort it all out. There may be too many Kardashian jokes, is what I’m saying.
Any of you had an experience like this? I never realized that drugs could be called the same thing and not actually be the same thing! Any advice for me? Any other die-hard Revenge lovers out there?? (They can’t cancel it! Noooo!)
Yes! I had bad depression for a while but it was easily managed with one anti-depressant on a low dosage (once I finally figured out, “oh, huh, I must be depressed!”). Then I got the Mirena. For the past 3 1/2 years my depression has gotten worse and worse and I’ve cycled through every pill out there and am now on a cocktail of 3 medicines, highest dosages. It never, ever occurred to me that the problem could be my Mirena. It actually occurred to my sister, who googled it and BAM! Thousands of stories, forums, blogs, etc. The other super-fun side effects include insane weight gain and inability to lose weight (woohoo!) and a big spare tire is prominent (mimicking pregnancy maybe?), giant boobs (from a C to a DDD–at least, I’m too embarrassed to buy a bra that fits), exhaustion, hair loss (like, giant clumps after every shower). Other people have had horrid acne all over their upper bodies, seizures (I had one and I’m guessing it was related), nonstop bleeding, etc.
It infuriates me that I was never warned that the Mirena could do this. In fact if you talk to a doctor or read the Mirena website, it doesn’t. The hormones are local so if you think you are having negative side effects due to the Mirena, you’re wrong. It’s all a crazy coincidence that thousands of women with the Mirena have the exact same side effects. Seriously, my doctor laughed in my face when I TOLD her to remove my Mirena (but guess who’s not losing anymore hair!).
The scariest thing is that the Canadian Mirena website specifically warns if you have depression or any other mental illness, you should NOT get a Mirena. That information is no where in the American literature or website. I never would have gotten the Mirena if I’d know that.
I’ve had my Mirena out less than a week so I don’t know how long it could take to go back to normal (or horrifyingly, if the damage is permanent). The hair loss stopped pretty immediately but that came on just recently whereas the other symptoms, I’ve had from the get go (they’ve just gotten progressively worse).
I’m so sad and angry that I’ve spent all this time overweight (while swinging between working my a$$ off eating right and exercising (with no results) or just giving up), depressed, exhausted. This has been my daughter’s whole life (I got it in 4 weeks postpartum). Uh, I’m so disgusted.
It’s sad to read this and see: you just never know. No one is warning us. If it hadn’t occurred to my sister (who is a nurse practitioner specializing in women’s health), I NEVER would have thought of it. How many other women won’t make the connection?
Carrie,
I was in the same situation as you! I’m so happy to find someone who knows what I was dealing with and feeling! I had Mirena put in when my daughter was a year, but before that had been on the Mini pill for nursing and also on Wellbutrin for last 12+ years and the Pill between 2 other kids. So I stopped the Mini when I got Mirena-but then my cysts on my ovaries came back like crazy! So, on top of Mirena, I went back on the Pill! I was on a low-dose one (can’t remember name now). Anyway, 2 months ago or so, a girlfriend calls me to see what pill I’m on because she’s quitting hers and has 4 packs left. She then tells me how she went on it for 6 weeks and became a crazy, psycho, angry, yelling Mom. And this is NOT her at all. She’s always been real low key and reserved, her kids and husband never hear her yell because she doesn’t get that upset–EVER! So, she tells me all this, I’m on the same pill and finally, the dots connect and I start bawling. This is all my children have known. I’ve been a yeller, angry for no reason, stuff coming out of my mouth that makes no sense, but I couldn’t stop it. I haven’t lost weight, only gained, in the last 4 years. I’ve worked my a$$ off too, trying so hard to watch my food, eat less, exercise more, just to end up crying and depressed. So, I stopped the pill. Felt great to do that and feel I was taking control.
Then my hubby googled Mirena and I flipped out all over again! Wow, to find all those stories and accounts of people having horrible side effects–and NOTHING is listed for us to know before putting it in. My Mom is a Nurse Midwife and she didn’t even know all the stuff that it caused! I thought it was great because I haven’t had a period in over 3 years, but it wasn’t worth going through all that just for no period each month. I had it taken out 3-4 weeks ago (luckily my hubby had the big V done!). I haven’t had a period yet, and don’t feel like it was a light switch in changing emotions and thoughts right away, but I do feel a lot better. I also have a sex drive again, which pretty much was under 0 for the last 4 years or so! I have lost 9.5 lbs. in the last 2 weeks but I’m doing myfitnesspal.com and keeping track of my calories too. Also started working out 5-6 days a week again, and feel like there’s hope! I don’t know how much the weight loss has to do with Mirena or just changing lifestyle, but knowing I don’t have something in me that can mess up every part of my being makes me feel pretty good! I’m still on Wellbutrin, though I don’t know if that will last either. I plan to wait at least 6 months before looking at dropping that as well!
Thank you for sharing and please know you aren’t the only one:)
Ok you’re kind of freaking me out right now because you know I have the Mirena too, right? And one of my biggest issues is the extreme irritability/anger. Also? Hair loss, totally me too. Ithought that was just from my anti-depressant problems but maybe it’s the Mirena too?? Crap. My husband does NOT have a vasectomy and I have hated every pill I’ve ever been on. Crap. Crap. Crap.
But thank you for the info! I did a google search and you’re def. right. I’ll have to think more on this one!
i dont know if theres a particular reason to have a mirena IUD v paraguard, but paraguard is hormone-free! (i cant utilize hormonal birth control of any sort, so im thrilled this is available to me.) im in love with my paraguard. perhaps something to think about! (knowing absolutely nothing about your specific situation :P) best!
I also had a good experience with the plain old copper IUD. I had to beg my doctor for it because she wanted me to keep trying different kinds of hormones, but after the depo-provera shot made me insane (severe mood swings, as in, normal one minute and suicidal the next, sobbing and yelling and just appalled at myself, and then BOOM!, like a switch was flipped and immediately normal again…) and the ortho-tricycline (sp?) pill made me bloated and bingey and made my period last twice as long, I was not willing to keep experimenting with myself. After that experience, when I talked with other women about it, I heard many tales about birth control hormones, esp. progesterone-based ones (e.g., the depo shot and it sounds like the Mirena as well) making them feel crazy.
I had the paraguard (copper T) for a year and loved it… except that it made my periods INSANELY heavy. Like I couldn’t leave the house heavy:(
My boyfriend has depression and he has it for ages…I was worried for he might not be happy anymore…But good thing he escaped from it already…
Wait…Sammy is a dog?!?!?!
I can’t say I’ve had the experience, but I stayed on basically the same pills: Zoloft and then a generic version that must have been exactly the same formula, as I didn’t feel any different. But you’d think drug manufacturers would have a little sympathy and try to stick to the same formula.
Oh wait. These are drug companies. What am I thinking?! Silly me!
I hope all settles down soon. In the meantime, don’t worry; I love me a good Kardashian joke!
Oh I didn’t say they’d be GOOD jokes;))
This SAME exact thing happened to me, except when I picked up my pills, NO ONE told me they were different! I didn’t discover it until awhile later when I was feeling terrible and looked at the bottle and realized it was different. Then, when I went to take the pills back and complain, they wouldn’t do anything and I had to just pay full price for a bottle o’ the original. Not a happy camper, haha.
I JUST wrote about my depression (again,) so great medicated minds think alike! I’ve been on a few different things over the past 10 years, and to be honest, I don’t know how well any of the “work,” so to speak. Is the fatigue from the depression or the pills? Are the good days “normal” or manufactured? It’s so hard to tell. However, I keep on them because I fear the alternative.
But to stay on topic, I haven’t had your experience. I take the generic form because the real crap is so expensive. I wonder if there really is a difference? Either way, I hope you get things figured out. It’s so freaking frustrating, so thanks for bringing it up!
Oooh – going to read your post now!! And hey, at least we’re not alone?
I thought I’d heard they’d renewed Revenge for another season. That’s why in the pilot, it was Daniel dead on the beach, not Tyler.
I’m with you on the insurance reform thing. Can’t comment on the rest… Metallica’s MY anti-depressant. Strangely, it works only when taken through the ears.
Yes, I thought it was Daniel on the beach in the pilot, too. Yay for another season!
I’d heard it had been cancelled! But then I read there were rumors that it wasn’t. I haven’t heard anything official yet though?? Here’s hoping! I mean at the very least I need to see Nolan in a neon blazer again making his best Scooby Doo face (he is my fave person on that show. After Sammy.)
As of right now I could write a novel on this. I was/am on Effexor XR and have been for well over 10 years. I started tapering off the meds last Summer and in the middle of the nightmare of that I was given the generic form of the med that was supposedly the “same.” Thus began two weeks of deep dark thoughts, migraines, and more. It wasn’t until one manic episode that I realized what was going on. I googled generic Effexor XR and WOW. I was very not alone.
I have now been working to get off of Adderal IR which I always have taken in the generic form. That in itself is proving to be interesting. These meds do crazy things to our brains!
Amen to that. Sadly.
It’s not just anti-depressants… I switched from Synthroid to generic 2 weeks ago. TWO weeks. And I’m up .5 pounds EVERY STINKING DAY! (That’s 7 pounds if you’re counting…) My face is swollen, as is everything else on my body. Heading to the pharm this afternoon to switch back. Sheesh.
Eeek! Good luck!!
For the most part I’ve not had a problem with generics, so didn’t think of that explanation a few years ago when I was fighting a chronic hive condition so Dr. had me trying lots of different meds . We found one that her office samples worked well. So she wrote a prescription, my insurance required the pharmacy to sub for generic and they didn’t work. Didn’t think much about it as many, many drugs weren’t working. But because my Dr. had experience with generics not always working the same as the orignal, she gave me more office samples and those worked again. Hmmmm
I worked for Big Pharma and they don’t even cover brand names for their employees if a generic is available. So I agree with you on the insurance reform. Totally overdue. On the other hand I’ve also seen what goes into drug development so I have a harder time these days criticizing companies for wanting to keep their proprietary formulas a secret. Even considering that when I started getting generic bcp’s was when everything went downhill in that regard.
Yeah, I realize that they get screwed by putting all the research $$ in and then the generics profit off of it. The whole system is messed up:(
I had this with birth control pills. For years I was on a specific generic, then all of the sudden was given a different (but “same”) generic. I went from no side affects, to migraines every month. Finally after 3 years of monthly migraines (that was really the only PMS symptom I had, so I didn’t feel like I should complain), I told my doctor and she switched me to a different pill.
Yes any generic medication can be comprised of mostly fillers as opposed to the active ingredients. These fillers are usually what cause side effects. Brand names have to disclose exactly what is in the meds, generally have little to no fillers and rarely change the formula. For this reason I long ago started only using name brand psych meds even though they are more expensive. But now I don’t take meds at all because no matter what they just make me sick and ultimately don’t have me enough benefit to outweigh the side effects. I’ve been enough to know they simply aren’t for me. I hope yours evens out and it get backs to working for you!
Egads. I had no idea about the fillers. I wish I could go totally drug free but if this experience has taught me anything it’s that the meds were helping more than I thought they were… I may be a lifer:(
With my training I get nervous when pharmacists say “oh it’s the same thing, just different company.” Because even when it *should* be sometimes it isn’t…not for everyone. A while back my regular birth control was scarce for reasons I know not, and I was given a generic substitute for a few months, which I was assured would be fine. Telling me not to worry about my birth control is like telling me not to wear shoes…so I checked it out to be sure. We have a big blue book of drugs that the doctor’s get that lists the gritty details about prescriptions at work and so I was able to look it up and ensure that it actually was the same with no listed alternate reactions. Whew. And we are still sans children, as planned.
I like having the book to look up things…some of the side effects listed are rediculous. One medication I was given when I had pneumonia actually had death listed as an extremely rare side effect. I mean, how can death be a side effect?
Anyways, I hear you. People are unique and sometimes little changes in even the way the drug is time-released in the body can make all the difference. I hope the new ones work better for you and restore the rainbows ans sparkles to where they should be 🙂
I grit my teeth whenever I hear stories about anti-depression medication. Body and brain chemistry is so complex, I don’t see how it’s possible to isolate the effects of a drug on a single symptom like depression without setting off a cascade of side effects.
Now, excuse my ignorance about Mormonism; is the prohibition against coffee or against caffeine? Apparently there is no prohibition against anti-depressant medication? I ask because there are many, many studies suggesting that caffeine aids in treating depression. (Also a few studies showing the opposite.) In that context, would you be “allowed” to try using caffeine as a medical treatment? Of course coffee is a mind-altering chemical, but it’s a helluva lot more natural than synthetic drugs. I believe you eat, chocolate? Well, that’s got some caffeine; perhaps that’s why you love it, because your body wants/needs the caffeine. (Intuitive eating, right?) If you decide to try this, I would suggest you stick to REAL coffee as opposed to caffeine pills, since there may be other compounds in the coffee that affect the results.
So I’d never heard about the link between increased caffeine consumption and decreased depression before!! But thanks to you I just spent all day researching it! (Work…what’s that?) VERY interesting stuff! And you are correct that Mormons don’t drink coffee or tea but caffeine isn’t prohibited. Drinking “medicinal” coffee is out for me but now I’m curious if getting the same amount of caffeine (4-6 cups worth?) from a different, as least-adulterated as possible, source would help. I’m pretty sensitive to caffeine – remember me puking my way through a 10 mile race a couple of years ago? That was caffeine pills. But at the same time I remember feeling better when I tried the GNC vitapaks and those have about 120 mg of caffeine in them. At the time I thought it was the Vitamin D in them but perhaps it was the caffeine? I’m still on a Vit D supp and my mood has tanked so I think that was a red herring. Caffeinated vitamins would likely be a better option than, say, diet pills or Red Bull, lol. I’ll have to think some more on this but thank you for the tip!!
Oh and yes – good call on the chocolate:) I’ve long been a fan of the darkest I can find. My current brand is 97% dark. And the darker the chocolate, the more caffeine is in it!
I remember that story, but I didn’t remember that it was caffeine.
Yes, coffee can make a person nauseous if you drink too much of it, especially on an empty stomach.
Take two squares of dark chocolate and call me in the morning.
Sorry you had difficulties with the change in pills. Fortunately, I have not experienced that, but my sister has and it isn’t pretty.
As for Revenge, I thought the whole basis of the show was dumb. Except since it follows my favorite shows (Suburgatory, Modern Family, Happy Endings), I’m usually still on the couch with a cat on my lap and end up getting sucked into it. See, you can’t move and disturb the adorable said cat on lap. Anyway, I got a little hooked but missed the last two episodes, so I’m not really sure what happened. Oh, well, enough of that!
Oh, and I thought of you last night. I had two nice young male Mormon missionaries stop by my house and immediately remembered you requested your readers to be nice to them. So, I had a ten minute chat with them before they moved on to the next house. They were very pleasant and not at all pushy.
Oh thank you Heather!!! That really means a lot to me and I bet it really meant a lot to them too.
I had a similar experience with birth control. The regular drug worked fine for me, and when I switched to generic, I didn’t think anything of it, because I assumed it was the same thing under a different name (and a much cheaper price). NOPE. So I had three months of mood swings, headaches, fatigue, and terrible acne, and it never even occurred to me that the birth control could be the culprit. Finally, when I was moved to tears THREE different times in ONE rehearsal, I knew something had to be up and I started googling the generic brand. Turns out, a ton of people had the same experience. I went off it immediately.
I.Love.Revenge!! Best show on t.v.
I don’t have any experience with anti-depressants, except to say I’ve heard far too many stories like yours. I would rather self-medicate with caffeine and cookies, I guess, even though I am a candidate for anti-anxiety meds if I wanted them.
Oh and I totally followed your parenthetical show explanation btw. LOL!
Hahah – I love self-medicating with cookies too! And I’ve been dying to talk about Revenge! None of my friends watch it and there’s just so much going on, lol!!
Thank goodness my antidepressants aren’t available in generic. (not for many more years). However, I have had generic drugs with which I reacted differently than the original.
The SHOCKING thing I heard about recently was that some Chinese drug manufacturers were receiving back expired stock from pharmacies grinding up these drugs and using them for the filler of new manufacturer. So that your drug -any kind- could have minute amounts of a whole lot of other stuff in it.
Aiee. The more I learn about this, the more horrified I get.
Poor darling!
I am so sorry you’re dealing with this–
anti-depressants are tricky monkeys without dealing with new formulations!
*grrr*
Here’s hoping your current meds will work for you.
Regular Ortho-tricyclen: no weight gain, smoother periods, way less crazy than without any birth control.
Generic, after 30 days: 40 lbs heavier, mood swings daily, one of the worst periods I had ever had.
When I walked into the doc’s office in tears, she was very kind and gentle and gave me a chemistry lesson about generics and how companies save money on binder agents and delivery systems. Thank goodness for that, because I’m pretty sure science talk was the only way to get me off the crazy train and focused on reality. “You mean its not just me going psycho?” She was wonderful; she also immediately replaced my prescription.
Charlotte, do you know your search function on your website always gives me a error message? I can always do a google search but I just thought you should know!
I know – for some reason the search function only works if you are on the homepage (www.thegreatfitnessexperiment.com). If you are on a particular post page, the search assumes you are only searching that post. It’s lame, I’m so sorry! It’s on my list of things to fix…
In the meantime, can I help you find anything in particular?
The anti-depressant that works best for me is Celexa. And I’m slightly allergic to it. I spent the first few days horribly itchy and my tongue got a little puffy. We decided to stay the course because I need something to keep the crazy at a manageable level. I’m still itchy, but I’m used to it now. Tongue is also normal sized.
God, yes. I got my happy pills from a different pharmacy, and the first thing I noticed is that the next day I had the same headache I would get when I skipped a pill. Things went downhill from there.
Stupid medicine. Shouldn’t these things be known and acknowledged facts?
You might try calling your insurance carrier and telling them you would like name brand for this med. They will annoyingly ask your PCP to fill out a bunch of forms explaining why you need name brand and not generic but it’s worth a shot. Ins. co’s don’t want to pay for anything anymore and fewer meds are considered “formulary” vs. “non-formulary,” i.e. meds they don’t want to pay for (yes, ending a sentence with a preposition). But it’s your policy and you are paying a portion of it so call and make a stink.
I did this and now I’m waiting to hear if they’ll approve the request. They said it takes 10 days. SIGH.
One word: Wellbutrin. I have been battling being able to afford the brand name versus generics for 6 years. I just shelled out $496.46 yesterday for the name brand. It’s the ONLY version that works for me. I wish I knew more about purchasing RXs from Canada. Anyone here know anything?
I wish. If you find out anything let me know!
Thanks for the uh up lifting story Charlotte.
Just be sure not to over due those pills. Your slight lean towards the crazy is one of the things I love about your stuff. I would hate to find you going all Ben Stein on me.
Besides, I’ve never met a genius who wasnt a little bit crazy. It takes an abnormal mind to realize just how much is possible in life.
Haha – don’t worry, the pills don’t take away all the crazy! And this: “It takes an abnormal mind to realize just how much is possible in life.” may just have to be my new bumper sticker. Thanks for the compliment! I think… 😉
Duh! The same thing happened to me this month. I just thought it was sinus headaches and extra crabbiness. Not until I read your column did it occur to me that it was definitly the different manufacturer of my generic Prozac. I hope I can get the old ones! Thanks for helping me realize what was going on.
So glad it helped you too! I had NO idea this was even possible before…
WOW you guys are freaking me out! I’ve had depression for 6 years now and had the Mirena for 4. In no way have I considered the Mirena might be contributing to it. Hmm… I wonder. This week I go in to talk to my doctor about TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). It’s supposed to cure depression. If you ladies want to know more about it I have a Dr. Oz video on it on my blog at http://debsfitnessjourney.blogspot.com.
I know this is coming in very post-date…but have you tried going to the drug manufacturer’s website? I know of many that offer “coupons” to reduce your monthly cost, as well as a few that have income-based assistance. If anything, try direct contact via email or phone and explain your plight…it might get you a few months of reduced cost meds…the worst they can say is ‘no.’
I’m sure you’ve heard about this, but when I read this story I immediately thought of you, Charlotte: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/01/business/fda-increases-scrutiny-of-some-generic-drugs.html?emc=eta1
Hopefully this is just the beginning of getting some awareness of the problem!
What’s up to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting more from this
web page, and your views are good designed for new people.