Huge thanks to Meanliving for tweeting me this pic!! If she were wearing a tutu, it would totally be me.
As you probably already know (I think I’ve mentioned it on here elventy times now) I’ve been going through some rough stuff emotionally. There was all the PTSD drama around Christmastime – it was really bad – and I know I promised to explain that breakdown in more detail but now that I’m on the other side of it I think that is a dragon best left sleeping. And then there was my medication screw-up with my anti-depressant which sent me into a tailspin for a solid two months. It’s been all I could do to just keep my kids taken care of and get the bare minimum of my work done.
I’m not saying any of this as an excuse but rather an explanation. I’ve been a bad friend. I’ve let e-mails languish in my inbox for weeks. I haven’t returned phone calls. I haven’t been responding to comments (although I did read every single one!). I haven’t been reading your blogs (or anything else I love for that matter). I haven’t been commenting. I haven’t been Tweeting. I haven’t been patient with my kids and husband. I haven’t been a good listener to my friends. I haven’t been doing a lot of things. What I have been doing is a lot of sitting in my warm corner by the dishwasher and staring off into space trying to work up the energy to do anything else.
When you’re mentally ill, sometimes it takes everything in you just to survive.
And I’m sorry about that. Truly, I am.
The good news though is that I think I’ve found a solution to my medication problem (thank you Dr. Jon!) and for the first time since the beginning of November I’m starting to feel like myself again. I’ve spent some time tonight replying to comments here and reading some of your stuff and it’s been wonderful – like I’m reuniting with old friends. I know that some of you have felt slighted and hurt by my inattention of late and I am so so sorry for that. (And I imagine some of you are probably irritated with this right now – why is she blathering about herself again? Just write the fitness stuff already!) But I had to apologize. I hope you will forgive me for being a flake. I feel like I’ve finally come out the other side of the dark tunnel and I thank you for your patience with me!
Love,
Charlotte
P.S. Giveaway post coming tomorrow!