I love it – the artist even gave her a little orange-peel bum hole!“On [a recent] vacation to Cabo, I wore a bathing suit on the beach for the first time in years. Usually I’m just petrified. A couple of years ago someone zoomed in on my cellulite and it was so mean. I took it really personally. I haven’t worn a bathing suit in L.A. in years because of that.”
So says Lauren Conrad – most famous in my house for having her own clothing line at Kohl’s (which is actually pretty cute, I have one of her shirts) – in her interview with Glamour mag this month. My first thought was she must have really got over that fear since she’s posing on the cover in naught but cheeky shorts (with attached thingies that I think are supposed to be ruffles or flower petals but remind me quite a lot of skin tags. And skin tags on your butt is way worse than cellulite IMO.) My second thought was yippee! I have something in common with gorgeous Lauren Conrad! Butt ripples! The difference is that I still wear a swimsuit. Unabashedly.
You might not know it due to the lack of red circles drawn around my thighs or arrows pointing at my butt but I have cellulite worthy of an US cover, In Touch at the very least. It’s cottage cheese-y or orange peel-y or any other bumpy food analogy you might care to apply but you know what it’s not? Embarrassing. At least to me. I wear a swimsuit with no sarong tied around my waist. I run in my Nike tempo track shorts. And when I step out of the shower, my eyes never linger disapprovingly over my misbehaving collagen. (It helps that it is behind me.)
Even worse than not being embarrassed about my cellulite, like any good woman should according to dozens of breathless shame-filled articles, I absolutely refuse to do anything about it. I’ve never bought a “firming” cream or special tights or supplements. I’ve never tried thermologie or endermologie or any other -ologie that involves heat and/or lasers aimed at my backside. I’ve never even used fake tanner to cover it up – which brings me to another “flaw” I refuse to apologize for: my pale (to the nth power) skin. I’m not knocking any of you who love your self-tanners but for me the idea of daily painting all my exposed skin an entirely different color than the one it comes in is the very definition of ludicrous. (Note to all high school SAT essay writers from whom I have to spend countless hours grading your papers: “Ludacris” is a rapper and I can think of no occasion that would make it appropriate to invoke his name in your college entrance exam. Unless you are him. For the sake of my sanity, please learn to spell the word correctly.) It’s bad enough I feel compelled to paint my face on Sundays and other dress-up occasions; most other days I don’t bother as I’ll just sweat it off during my workout, plus my baby likes to lick my face and what’s the point in buying her organic food if I’m giving her a cocktail of known carcinogens and lead with every kiss?
I don’t know why this is. Frankly I’m as baffled by my confidence in this area as you are. It’s not like I’m known for my self-confidence, especially when it comes to my body. Cellulite has just never bothered me. I don’t notice it on myself and, even better, I don’t notice it on other people either. Although that’s not for lack of afflicted specimens, apparently. According to an article on the dreaded red-circle disease in Fitness magazine over 90% of women – and 0% of men – have cellulite. (For those of you curious, the gender discrepancy is accounted for by the different way male and female bodies position their collagen. According to the article, men’s collagen lines up diagonally while women’s goes straight up and down, thereby making it easier for fat molecules to squish through.) The article then goes on to explain that cellulite is “incurable” but don’t worry they have pages of advertisements disguised as reporting listing various creams you can try anyhow.
Can someone please explain to me how a condition that over 90% of women have – including Britney Spears, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez and a host of other gorgeous women – and is “incurable” is a flaw? Doesn’t that just make it normal? It’s like criticizing women for having elbows. And then trying to sell us an elbow-removal file.
How do you feel about your cellulite? Or are you in the genetically-blessed 10% without it? Do you have a “flaw” that you refuse to apologize for? Anyone else surprised that a paparazzi pic kept Lauren Conrad out of a bikini for years? (Reason #452 I’m glad I’m not a celeb, I guess!)
I complain about my cellulite but lately I’ve been thinking about body acceptance and how much time and mental energy I spend on analyzing my “flaws.” I am really trying to move toward a place where I accept my body for what it is and live my life instead of focusing on stupid little insecurities.
At this point in my body’s state of being, if cellulite was my only worry, I’d be throwing confetti in the air. I have far too many other issues to worry about (back fat and a muffin top that is just how my body looks – even without any clothes on!, bye-bye arm fat (the fat that jiggles when you wave bye), inner thigh fat, etc.) to consider the small ripples that may or may not be apparent on the back of my thighs!
“According to an article on the dreaded red-circle disease in Fitness magazine over 90% of women – and 0% of men – have cellulite.”
I’d like to call BS on this one. My boyfriend has cellulite on his butt and I think it’s great. I have cellulite on my butt and thighs, we’re like cellulite butt twins.
I’m 22 and I didn’t really have it until I hurt my knee and gained a lot of weight in a short amount of time, when I was 16. I still have it, even though I have 16% body fat, am sitting at a 21 BMI and wear a size 6 pants.
I’m going to Maui in less than two weeks and for 6 months I fretted about how I should do more squats so my butt would look okay in a swim suit, so that my thighs wouldn’t jiggle as I walked to the shore, so my cellulite didn’t show. And after 17 weeks of working my ass off (not literally…) I still have it. And it kind of hit me the other day, who cares? I can run up 1500
stairs, and still pound out another 45 mins of full body work outs. So what if my skin isn’t perma-photoshopped. So now I’m looking forward to going to Maui and wearing a bikini. People can stare at my 6 pack instead.
Go Kaleo has been doing a lot of “self embracing” posts lately and that’s helped me a lot. 🙂
PS: Lol, “Ludacris”
I love this post! Thank you! And your exemple with the elbow file is hilarious and very true!
I have cellutie since the early age of 12 when the female hormones started to flow. I am thin, I do a lot of sport, I am vegan, I don’t eat junk food, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink and I sleep eight hours each night. I even do dry brushing.
I feel amazing and my body has never look better but all this DID NOT change anything about my cellulite.
I have cellulite on my backside and thighs. I have wrinkles on my stomach and backside similar to a sharpei. I guess seven pregnancies, gaining/losing 90 some pounds and being 40 will cause those conditions. Does it bother me? The length of time it takes for me to pass the bathroom mirror is the amount of time it bothers me. A high waist full coverage bikini bottom is great camouflage. Yes, I own several bikinis. It’s a shame I’ve never worn one of them. It has nothing to do with cellulite.
My cellulite is pretty bad. It starts at my butt and goes down to my knees. That’s why I never wear shorts, short skirts, etc. I also avoid occasions where I’d have to wear a swimsuit. My cottage-cheesy backside isn’t the only reason, though, I’m quite unhappy with many body parts. There’s probably not much I can do about my cellulite, so I prefer to cover up.
I hate how our society demonizes these things that are so “normal” and make us all human. What a waste to worry about a thing that ultimately we won’t be able to change no matter what we do short of cutting off our thighs, stomachs or any other area.
If anything in my ED I’ve learned life is short. Do something that matters, spend your money on things that add to your life rather than a fancy cream!
It depends on what type of body you have. If you are in shape and well toned, you can probably go for a bikini or even a one piece swimsuit. If you are a little overweight but have a well proportioned figure, you can wear a bikini or a one piece as well. If you are overweight and not well proportioned or if you are extremely overweight, it is best to wear a one piece suit with a sarong to cover your troubled areas.
Sorry, but I don’t believe we should have to cover our “troubled” areas. If others don’t like the way we look, they’re free to look elsewhere. I also don’t believe we need others’ permission to wear whatever swimsuit we want.
Why is that “best”?
Why should that matter to you?
Bikini or burkini, we all have the right to wear whatever the hell we want to the beach.
Do you have any idea what it takes to get in and out of a wet one piece bathingsuit when nature calls? No one is advocating string triangle tops on DDD+s – least of all the DDD+s who would be garrotted by that choice, but going to the beach is about using your body to have fun, not cultivating a complex about how it looks while doing so.
I was actually thinking about this the other day. It really annoys me that some people think natural things like cellulite or the little pouch women sometimes have under their bellybutton are revolting. These things used to be beautiful and symbolic of the allure of woman; just google photos of influential art or statues and you will see what I mean. BUT somewhere some enterprising individual decided to turn what’s normal into something undesirable because, let’s face it, who’s going to pay hard earned money for a product that will make them look exactly the same as they already do. The main reason why I don’t buy magazines anymore is because they make me feel like I need to spend money to be pretty or desirable and I refuse to let anyone make me feel bad about myself.
On a related note, when I was in Madrid recently I noticed that all of the billboards and wall ads were of half naked men selling perfume, clothes, etc. I didn’t see one ad with a woman on it. Very strange coming from a place where every single ad is of scantily clad women selling everything under the sun.
Hey! I finally found a few minutes to catch up. I remember when you posted about this a year or two ago. I specifically remember you saying it didn’t bother you then! I think that’s great. I have a some on the back of my thighs and on my butt if I tighten my cheeks really hard (but who walks around in a swimsuit tightening their cheeks!) I wish I could say it doesn’t bother me at all but it does a little. Not enough to not wear a bikini or anything though. I also have pale skin and it doesn’t bother me at all. Hilarious about Ludracis. Ha ha!!!
I am bothered by it, but mostly because mine does go away (or at least is minimally visible) when I’m at my preferred weight, so it’s just another reminder that I’ve been eating too much. But I recognize that most women have it and wear what I want anyhow.
I’m 45 and 10-15 pounds from my ideal weight, and I have cellulite everywhere – on my upper arms, my thighs and even on my stomach. Genetically I was dealt a bad deal with the cellulite wand, but what can I do? I am lifting weights and getting stronger and am excited to see the hints of muscle being revealed. I am learning to accept the bumpy rippled skin that covers it, but I don’t like it. I can run and lift heavy things, and that’s what I care about more now.
I refuse to apologize for my pale skin too! I went through a brief period of self-tanner in college and then eventually realized that um, I have red hair, it’s like I’m supposed to be pale or something. And now I love it. Maybe not how easily I burn or the dark under-eye circles but overall I think it’s great. All the wedding magazines tell me I should be tan to look prettier in my white dress or show less flab or whatever but screw ’em.
On the other hand I have never worn a bikini and I never would. Years of gaining and losing tons of weight (including while I was still growing) has pretty much destroyed any hope I ever had of having smooth, flawless, toned skin. I get stretch marks very easily (can’t wait until I’m preggers!) so I have them on my upper arms, boobs, stomach, sides, thighs, and probably other places I can’t see. Then there’s the back of the arm flab that tricep workouts won’t touch, loose skin on my stomach, and muffin top. The cellulite on my butt is the least of my worries! Seriously, EDs are not pretty. I think I’m living proof of that.
I’m sick to death of the scrutiny paid to women’s bodies. I’d like to see the editors of these magazines in their swimsuits: something tells me they look like the majority of us, yet they make A LOT of money pointing out supposed “flaws” and causing women everywhere to feel shame about our bodies. Cosmetic companies earn billions on firming creams and the like, which, really, don’t do a damn thing.
The fact is, when we’re at the beach or a pool, I’m focused on making sure my kids are safe and having fun, rather than what my butt looks like. I’m at an age where guys don’t ogle me anymore, and y’know what? It’s a huge relief! I can relax and have fun, and not feel like I’m being watched and judged. I’m not eye candy, I’m a human being. I watch what I eat. I work out 6 days a week. I have a round tummy and thick thighs, but I also don’t give a flip what some magazine editor in a Manhattan high rise 3,000 miles away thinks what I “should” look like.
It’s like Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” I think we all need to take our consent back.
Thank you for the reminder that cellulite is natural. And I love how you compared trying to get rid of it to getting rid of your elbow!
When it comes to cellulite, though I certainly have been “blessed” with a lot 🙁
As soon as I hit puberty my thighs and bums got affected. And I have quite a lot… What can I say, I have the bum of a missing Kardashian sister 😉
It used to really bother me, and as a teenager, I use to buy those creams and hide..
But I am trying to learn to be kinder to my body, and I don’t hide anymore. When I wear a bikini, I always hope people will notice my boobs more than my cellulite haha
Plus some guys like curves… As for the others, well you can’t please everyone! And those who notice my cellulite and might comment on it are probably just very insecure themselves…
And as long as I exercise, eat healthy and stay at a healthy weight, I know I am taking good care of my body
Doesn’t Lauren Conrad know they photoshop the cellulite away on magazine pictures?
Well, I have more pressing body hang-ups than my cellulite. I have huge flabby upper underarms that I waved at the world in a YouTube video a few weeks ago. I haven’t yet recoverd from the experience.
Shooting that video forced me to face my body issues… 🙂
I can be ripped with abs that show and still have cellulite on my butt. It’s extremely frustrating…but it is what it is. I stopped banging myself up about it a while ago. Everyone has it (even people like Zuzanna Light whose body is insanely fit). I look better than I ever have so if I have some cellulite…so be it.
I don’t like my cellulite – I think it looks ugly – but on the other hand it ain’t going nowhere so I just try to not think about it too much! Following some weight loss a few years ago it has improved so that’s something.
I have a bit of it,
but it doesn’t bother me much.
And I will wear a bikini with no coverup for as long as I damn well please! 🙂
I have a large butt (it jiggles), like I could be in a rap video. It is made worse because I have a really small waist. I am Sir. Mixalot’s dream woman. Did I spell that one right? You tell me you are the expert ;).
My best friend and I were people watching this past week, and my friend pointed out someone’s cellulite. This girl was tiny, and had the smallest amount of cellulite – it’s made me all the more conscious about my own orange peel! I can’t say I’ve never really thought about it before this week, though – it’s so common, I don’t really see it as an issue.
I don’t tend to wear all that many outfits that show it off, mind, and I’d be far more concerned about my belly before my butt in a bikini!
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I used to piss and moan about my hair loss. That is until I started to find role models through tough-guy actors who have little to no hair.
Now I’m starting to consider having little to no hair pretty bad-ass. That and it makes it a lot cooler in the summer and no hat hair in the winter.
No celulite to report but my skinny wrists were always a point of focus for me. I guess I should look for some wrist bulking cream 🙂
My husband dealt with his thinning hair by going super-short and it is a very sexy look. I wish more guys would follow his – and your! – lead on this.
I think the reason we are so hung up on it is because like all the other tings the media & advertising point to that women need to correct, this is one of them. Women are self conscious about so much due to media saying they have to be this or that.
Yes, I work out like a fiend & still have it – not as bad as some but more so with age now & I can’t do any more than I am already doing.
Charlotte, to tell you the honest truth, as much as I don’t want to feel like I have to look a certain way, I still do. My looks, in my opinion, has held me back from certain things I wanted in life because I was not pretty enough or not the right look or the right smile – you get me.. very frustrating to still feel this way after all these years…
lordy.
will we still be obsessed with this come 2099?
it’s all disheartening huh?
Another porcelain -skinned gal right here, high five! I’ve always refused to get a spray tan, even for my wedding (gasp!) and I don’t care about my cellulite either : D
Yeah, cellulite is something I don’t get, but trust me, I do get things that y’all women do not want to get. lol!
EVERYONE has things in life that can hold them back! Focus on the things that can move you forward of you will never be rid of those regrets! (This is not for you, Charlotte)
oh my god this is awesome! I’m a dancer (not the dirty kind) and I’m always baring bikini like clothes – white skin, cellulite. No one has ever complained except that one old lady who told me I’d be much happier if I got an ass tuck early in life. She didn’t know me at all. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one who’s fine with some cottage cheese and boycotting self tanners
I think this may be one of my favorite posts of yours… I think you’re “I think I have flaws” posts extremely real.. but I think this one is even moreso, because you’re daring to say something that’s not popular… I think at the present finding flaws in yourself has become a societal norm. We almost compare flaws… this is so strikingly against that… it’s rather powerful.
Thank you Kat – your comment made my whole night:)
Just got an email notification for your comment and I needed to apologize for the multiple typos… I was tired this morning, but apparently even more so than I thought
I love this post. You and I must have been on the same mental wavelength because I’ve got a post in my queue that basically says the same thing, that it’s completely ridiculous that we have pathologized this completely not-at-all harmful thing that almost every single woman has on her body. It has nothing to do with fitness or health or anything. It’s just part of our bodies. I mean, I’m a tall, thin runner who does squats and deadlifts, and even I have cellulite.
But hey, as long as entire industries can make fortunes off of people’s insecurities, we’ll continue to see magazines, “medical professionals” and cosmetic companies shilling this crap. I just wish fewer women would buy into it.
When discussing health and fitness with friends, I have always said that if you ask most women what they don’t like about their bodies, they can tell you in an instant but if you ask what they love, it takes several minutes. And each of us has a different body part – for some it’s cellulite, others that their chest is too small,or their hair is too thin, etc.
It’s not cellulite and the “firming creams” (can you actually feel the cellulite melting away with that stuff?) that get to me too much, but instead the constant messages about a face that shouldn’t have lines as we age.
One of the most heartwarming things a friend said to me when we were (much) younger was that he hopes that the woman he marries has “laugh lines” at some point because that means she is happy and smiling a lot.
Needless to say, just thinking about that statement creates more lines on my face.
Loved this very “real” post. I’m older than you, and cellulite goes with the territory and the privilege of growing older. If we don’t have it when we’re younger, we get it as we age. It’s OK–really it is. Too bad the women’s magazines have to make something that’s normal for most women into something to be ashamed of.
I wouldn’t call it a privilege. More of an unfair curse if anything.
The only thing I want to say is how crazy it is when you click on that ‘my husband will divorce me if I gain weight’ article and see him standing there with a big roll hanging over his pants. It’s not that I care that he’s got some extra pounds, it’s the hypocrisy of it all that kills me. It honestly makes me want to try primal scream therapy.
OOps, posted this on the wrong article. Just think of my comment in relation to the Samantha Brick debacle.
Hahaha! No worries, I figured it out! And yes, I had the same thought about her husband’s hypocrisy!
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My question is how bad is your cellulite? If it’s just a few butt ripples, who cares? But if it’s full on invaded your body, stomach, upper thighs, arms, the whole nine yards…you might be singing a different tune and never stepping foot on a beach again except in full body armor.
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