Samantha Brick may be the most hated person on the Internet right now. And considering Tonya Harding has a website, that’s saying a lot. She makes the backlash against tragi-comic singer Rebecca Black look like mere backwash. What was her crime against society that earned her such an…honor? Trading on her looks. And then bragging about it. And then writing a piece for the Daily Mail (i.e. Daily Fail) about how all other women are just jealous of her.
The article, ” ‘There are downsides to looking this pretty” – Why women hate me because I’m beautiful“, is a 1200 word screed of entitlement and back-handed bitchery (no other word for it, sorry) and definitely won her no sympathy. In it she recounts ambiguous situations like a neighbor failing to wave hello to her and then interprets them to mean women are totes jels of her for her youth and beauty. There is story after story of how men fancy her and women are threatened by her because “I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman.” She explains, “I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks.”
Yeah. Most of the 5000+ comments on the article are calling Brick out for being of only average looks – far from the gorgeousness most of us assume would warrant such attentions as free cab rides, flowers from strange men and a never-ending bar tab. And I’ll admit that my first read through the piece had me going there too. (She is certainly no supermodel but after watching her in video clips I think she’s prettier in person than in the pictures in the Daily Mail post, like the one above – it’s really just her attitude of entitlement that is so ugly.) But as I read it I realized that yet again, we women have been set up by a major media publication to be at war with each other over who is prettiest. Good land, have we not seen Snow White? Nobody wins this battle except the marketers. And maybe the dwarves who get an indentured servant with low self-esteem and iffy judgement.
While I could spend a whole post dismantling her premise, when it comes down to it I think several major factors are being overlooked.
1. The Daily Mail threw Samantha Brick under the bus. I highly doubt that anyone at the newspaper looked at her pictures and read the story and didn’t snicker. They knew that her semi-delusional rant would provoke every woman on the planet and considering we’re slightly more than half the population now that’s a lot of ad clicks coming their way. The fact that she willingly went along with it and is still sticking to her guns makes this feel even smarmier.
2. It’s her personal perception of her own experiences. You can’t argue someone else’s reality. I’m going to guess that if you asked the ex-boss, neighbor and other women accused of slighting Brick out of jealousy of her “lovely looks” (does that sound as silly in British English as it does in American English? It makes her sound like a Pretty Pony commercial.) that they would deny her version of events. But they didn’t write the piece. Brick did. And she’s entitled to her own perception.
3. This is the same woman who wrote the unfortunate post about how her husband very seriously told her that if she ever gained any weight he’d divorce her in a heartbeat so it’s hardly surprising that she sees everything through the lens of her beauty. Indeed a brief look at her previous articles for the Daily Mail include even sadder fare like “I’ll always be the fat girl: Samantha Brick has always been obsessed with her weight” and “I use my sex appeal to get ahead at work and so does any woman with any sense” and of course “The ‘I’m so beautiful’ backlash: bile only proves I’m right’. ” Clearly she’s operating from a very limited perspective. Someone send this woman a copy of Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth stat.
The article, however inflammatory, brings up two very important points that warrant serious discussion in our society: Pretty Girl (or Person) Privilege and the marketing ploy of invoking female jealousy. Both are quite true and quite often employed. In regards to the first, Amy Hoover’s comment on my Facebook post about this sums it up perfectly:
“While I do think that some women can be petty and jealous of other women (for a variety of reasons, not always beauty) or stereotype them, I think the many studied and proven benefits of being attractive far outweigh any occasional negatives. And for that reason alone, I think it’s extremely arrogant and narcissitic to complain about being “too” pretty, regardless of where you actually fall on the scale.”
I think this dovetails with “thin privilege” in that while there may be some downsides for some people for being “too” thin or pretty, our society rewards those traits so overwhelmingly that any complaint feels ignorant at best and pretentious and cruel at worst.
In regards to the second, pitting women against each other (usually to get us to buy more beauty products to out-prettify the other girls) only works if we let it. Take the competition out of it and you lose a lot of the jealousy. Do women get jealous of other women and treat them differently because of their looks? Sure, sometimes. I remember in 9th grade being intensely jealous of a petite blond cheerleader with a perfect GPA and the adoration of boys, parents and teachers alike. Being the contrarian and nerdy teen I was, of course I hated her. But most of us have outgrown high school and can now recognize that one person’s accomplishment doesn’t detract from ours. Despite what advertisers would have us believe, there isn’t a limited amount of beauty in the world and each of us already has some that is uniquely ours. If only we can learn to tune out the insanity that tells us that blonds are better than brunettes or pin thin is better than Rubenesque or one color of skin is better than the rest. And that’s really really hard to do. Especially when they keep throwing crap like this at us.
What do you think of Brick’s article? Is “women hate me because I’m beautiful” a contrived maelstrom or legitimate complaint? Anyone else so tired of female jealousy being used as a marketing ploy?
Lets be honest here, one does not have to be THAT pretty to get stuff out of men, especially in the USA where I used to live. I am not the pretties hottest woman in the world, I don’t even dress sexy or wear make up but I could have gotten crazy free stuff had I just asked for it in a cute, sexy, innocent, feminine way. Men of a certain type have really low standards and once you spot them it is free stuff all the way. I just am not that sleazy. It is not about how pretty she is, but how manipulative and shameless she can be. Women hate her for giving them a bad name and men give her stuff because she probably treats them a certain way.
Love this. Spot on. 🙂
So very true.
Absolutely! I have seen this so many times and it makes my skin crawl.
Hahah awesome! Is it awful I want you to teach me your tricks? Because I swear I have never gotten free stuff out of anyone from pulling the cute/sexy thing. I think it’s because I’m so awkward. And possibly that my normal face looks pretty stern, lol. But seriously good point about her tactics.
The term “Thick as a Brick” has new meaning.
Buwhahahh! I love a pun.
I am smiling reading this… my smile got larger and larger as I continued reading and became toothy when I got down to “thin privilege” — I’m semi involved in eating disorder activism [not as much at the moment as I need to focus on myself and some health issue(s) that cropped up] and a discussion of sizeism often comes up – always focusing on those that are overweight. The latest outcry stemmed from a company not hiring people with a BMI over 32. Yet, no outcry was given for banning models under a certain BMI. I made mention of this (declaring that I was playing devil’s advocate) and someone got incredibly upset stating that you can’t compare the two because thin people are glamorized and are not treated terribly. That’s not always the case though… If you’ve ever been underweight (and sick looking) you’ll know what I mean… or maybe it’s because I work retail (in a lifestyle store — so we sell clothing) that I hear women get lauded for being “lucky” to be (so) thin… that you can eat [insert fattening food here] because you’re so thin… have someone spill over into your seat on an airplane and have them tell you “it’s a good thing you’re thin” are all things that occur because of the weight.
stigma does goes both ways…
because of the fact that everything has a flip side… I feel like we should just recognize that we each have our own difficulties and struggles to bear… They may appear different, but they certainly can feel the same.
It all comes back to understanding (and taking a few moments to look at it that way — like you did) doesn’t it?
I totally agree with this 100%: “because of the fact that everything has a flip side… I feel like we should just recognize that we each have our own difficulties and struggles to bear… They may appear different, but they certainly can feel the same.” Thanks for the reminder Kat!
I would compare a lot of what you’re talking about to notions of “reverse racism”…I don’t buy it.
I think the thin and beauty privilege “benefits” depend on your personality. As someone who was pretty as a child (seriously, at a friend’s wedding, a mother of another friend came up and went on for 10 min to my husband about how pretty I was as a child) and had a lot of male attention in HS and college, I hated it. Maybe people were nicer, but they were meaner too. I didn’t have the heart for the constant rejection of others that I was forced into. People I thought were friends would turn ugly and brutal when I didn’t want to date them. Even if I did absolutely nothing to lead them on, I always felt like it was my fault. People also underestimate your intelligence and assume you got there because of your looks. I struggled with this so much. I ended up gaining weight and stopped having even mildly friendly conversations with most guys in an effort to protect myself and feelings. I went for years feeling like my personality sucked and only my looks mattered. I am still overweight and average looking now, but I still have to deal with creepy guys and while I would like to lose weight I’m scared. I much prefer my life as an average looking female.
Very interesting perspective! As a girl who was never considered a “looker” or particularly sexy (not saying I’m a troll – just being honest) it always surprises me to hear the flip side but you are so right that everyone has painful things they have to deal with. Thanks for sharing your story! (And I’m sorry you still have to deal with creepy guys:((
I think the sad thing is the way so many women buy into this, and would rather aspire to BE the societally-defined pretty girl no matter how much self-sacrifice is involved, rather than celebrate a world in which we’re all different and “pretty” in our own way.
Kinda like when poor people vote for politicians who will cut all their social programs, because they’re so worried about “others” leaching off them, and prefer to identify with the affluent. As a society we let others tell us who we “should” be and we let them! Sigh.
This proves that some people never leave the high school mentality behind. Discrimination goes both ways–thin, heavy, “attractive” or average, smart of flighty–and someone is always going to use it either to exclude or include someone in for whatever their goal may be. Unfortunately, women are mean to other women no matter what the situation, as you rarely hear men talk about how another guy looks in relation to his worth as a person.
But I’ll admit that when I was a bit heavier and what I consider to be more attractive, people did treat me differently. That goes along with Kat’s point though that being thin isn’t a card for acceptance–anything but, actually. And while I never used it as a privilege, I was aware that the option was there a lot of the time if I wanted it. Now I guess I like knowing that if someone judges me based on my looks, I don’t need them in my life or what they have to offer and I hate the fact that jealousy is used as a ploy so often. But the reason it is is because it works from time to time.
Time-out is an effective form of discipline used to separate a child from a situation and provide time for him to think about his behavior. Before placing your child in time-out, briefly explain to him the reason he is being put in time-out.
Uh, I didn’t buy this entire hoopla AT ALL. Maybe I’m just extra cynical, but I looked at this and thought straightaway that it was a savvy strategy cooked up by Brick and the Daily Mail to garner the maximum number of clicks, comments, and offline discussion (and viola! it worked!). To me this doesn’t smell of delusion, it smells of cynicism and canny manipulation.
That aside, the other points you bring up about Pretty Girl Jealousy are valid.
When I first read this post I had to agree with the thought that this woman doesn’t really deserve to complain – and even more when I read her actual article – she really doesn’t seem like a very nice person. But then I had to stop myself and think of an article I read in another newspaper yesterday about a study that shows that attractive women have less chance of getting an interview if they send a picture with their CV’s. But the difference was only noted if they sent it to firms directly and if their personnel department was headed by women – and not if they sent it to headhunters. So, yes in a way I agree that there are a lot worse things then being attractive – but if you are being discriminated against because of being attractive – at the end of the day it’s still discrimination.
I don’t like the way this woman writes and the way she is complaining – but the subject might still be a valid one.
Agreed. It’s sad that the real issues were clouded by such trolling journalism.
“while there may be some downsides for some people for being “too” thin or pretty, our society rewards those traits so overwhelmingly that any complaint feels ignorant at best and pretentious and cruel at worst.” 100% agree. Having been both heavy and thin I’ve seen first hand how much more helpful people were to me in stores when I was thin. People are rewarded or penalized for how they look, plain and simple.
I loved your last paragraph. Thanks for the reminder that beauty isn’t (or at least shouldn’t be) a competitive sport.
I’ve read a lot of the backlash and other posting in response to this article and no matter what the argument for/against her original piece and the responses it generated, I am still left with a sick feeling. But not about what she says, rather the WAY she says it. It is her personality that makes her ugly. Whether that is naive on her part or not, it doesn’t matter. This is just sad.
Thanks for pointing out that the Daily Fail totally set Brick up. They know what they are doing. This is their whole raison d’etre.
Regarding Pretty Girl Privilege – yes, this is a thing that definitely exists. People let a lot of crap slide when they think you are attractive, and they are so much harder on you when they think you are unattractive. I’ve seen both sides of this in my own life, as I was a fairly awkward, unattractive kid who grew up to be a conventionally attractive woman. The difference in the way I was treated as an “ugly kid” and a “pretty lady” is breathtaking. The worst thing is that I don’t think anyone is even conscious of it.
“The worst thing is that I don’t think anyone is even conscious of it.” Very interesting point! I think you are probably right and it’s true on a societal level as well.
I think the Pretty Girl Privilege works both ways – attractiveness has been shown in various studies to get you all kinds of things in life – a jury is even less likely to convict you if you are good looking!
I honestly think that women are just as likely to favor other good-looking women as men are, not hate them. A few years ago, I regularly posted on a message board where most people had an avi of themselves up. There was one frequent poster who regularly wrote things that were obnoxious and, well, not very bright, and it came to me one day that I was subconsciously giving her a pass and not being as annoyed by the tripe she posted as I would have otherwise been only because she had THE most beautiful long red curly hair. I was so disappointed in myself, haha.
I realized a while ago that the reason people weren’t saying hi to me when I walked by is because I wasn’t saying hi to them. Not because I’m oh so very pretty and intimidating, but because I wasn’t engaging them. Why should they be the first ones to talk? Smile at them and they’ll be nicer to you.
Love this! And I’ve found the same to be true in my own life. Treat people how you would like to be treated…
Yes, I’m SO tired of female jealousy being used for marketing/ratings! Look at 90% of the “reality” shows: women are either competing for the affection of a man (talk about a juvenile male fantasy!) or spending all their time complaining about each other, talking behind their “friend’s” backs, and getting into cat fights. Our society has the mindset of a 12 year-old, and we’re all buying into it.
As for Ms. Brick, I pity her. She’s obviously deeply insecure. I wouldn’t want her life, even with all the free stuff she gets. And I DEFINITELY wouldn’t want her marriage!
It’s amazing how many “average”-looking people manage to find spouses, good jobs, have kids, buy homes, and live happy, fulfilled lives, while many “beautiful” people (particularly celebrities) are often depressed, insecure financially/emotionally/mentally, have had multiple marriages and divorces, and can’t seem to get it together. Because they bought into the lie that their looks would take them wherever they needed to go. How could they not believe it, when it’s all they heard from the time they were young?
We do a disservice to all of us when we focus on attractiveness/perceived lack thereof, to the exclusion of all else.
” To me this doesn’t smell of delusion, it smells of cynicism and canny manipulation.”
Oh yeah. It’s above-the-line trolling at its best. Exceptionally canny on all their parts…wonder if she’s got a book coming out?
Either that or it’s overwhelmingly sad, because that is a dreadful life to be living, trapped in one’s own head like that.
As someone with a small-to-medium-sized dose of conventional attractiveness, I don’t find it a hindrance. I mean, just being female is enough to provoke the ire/attention/whatever that Ms Brick sees herself as the target of.
First impressions are important, sure, but once you actually have a conversation with someone, they’re most likely going to judge you more on that.
Or maybe I would say that, because I get judged favourably. Except by teenage boys, but I’ve never set any stock in their opinions.
“Oh yeah. It’s above-the-line trolling at its best. Exceptionally canny on all their parts…wonder if she’s got a book coming out?” Buwhahahah! I bet you are right.
Know how neurotic I am, Charlotte? I am feeling superior because I have a lush workspace that’s its own room, complete with a newly-clean desk and rearranged printer and a bookshelf and a fancy, COMFY desk chair…
That’s about the extent of my ability to care about this woman. It takes all kinds to rock the world, a cartoon character once said. She provides a balance.
I’m gonna sit back and smile at my workspace now, if you don’t mind. And then I’m gonna do some writing of my own — I’ve got a new book coming out on Thursday!
Woohooo! Congrats on the new book Susan! That’s so exciting! You should be reveling in your comfy-ness:)
I love your blog all the time (srlsy!), but every once in a while, you write sentences that I find so very poignant, like this one:
“Despite what advertisers would have us believe, there isn’t a limited amount of beauty in the world and each of us already has some that is uniquely ours.”
Love!
So many of the other articles I’ve read about this just go on about how “she’s not that pretty”, and I appreciate that you went to the substance of why readers were annoyed by the article.
p.s. I’ve been reading some other blogs recently, and honestly, I value your commitment to basic proof-reading and grammar more than you’ll ever know. It’s like the Wild West out there when it comes to the English language. Shameful.
You just made my whole week. You have no idea! Thank you so so much for this comment Meghan:)
I have a hard time believing that this article wasn’t perhaps an April fools joke?
Overall I thought everything about this article was ridiculous. I feel a bit skeptical when anyone offers this sort of sweeping rationale for why they have problems with others. My personal favorite is the class of girl who likes to claim she’s only friends with boys because girls are so catty. I’m with everyone who thinks this is a total publicity stunt, but I also thought it was SO interesting how everyone’s first response was, oh, she’s not that pretty. Because if she were so stunning, then what? It would have been fine? More understandable? More offensive because we’d actually believe her? On a side note: I am of about average attractiveness, but I have found that men flirt with me and give me free stuff WAY more frequently if I’m very tired (it’s not super frequent under any circumstances, but still). I’ve wondered why this is for a long time and don’t have a good answer. Either I have the most attractive dark circles in the world, or I’m normally walking around with a chip on my shoulder that only comes down when I don’t have the energy for it. Just goes to show that there are a lot of factors in attractiveness/approachability.
This: “Because if she were so stunning, then what? It would have been fine? More understandable? More offensive because we’d actually believe her?” is very astute. I love it! And if you ever figure out what makes you so beguiling when you are sleepy let me know, lol!
All I can comment on is that most women I have encountered who have complained to me that others treat her strangely because of their looks really aren’t that nice. LIke the old saying goes – you win a lot more bees with honey…
To me her article is an example of the decline of current journalism. I mean an opinion piece about how she feels her attractiveness is a problem? She just comes off as terribly insecure…
Hmmm…I would imagine that if she acts like she writes about herself, she might come off as stuck up. Perhaps difficult to work with. Not much fun to hang around. Maybe that has more to do with the slights she complains about.
I’m actually much more appalled by the article about her husband. Despite all of her talk, she must feel pretty bad about herself to be married to a man who she knows without a doubt only “loves” her because she is thin. I put that in quotes, because that isn’t love; it’s selfishness.
Eh. A lot of “beauty” for me comes down to personality – and frankly, anyone who would brag about “pretty privilege” or trade on it to get ahead (or automatically assume that, if she’s disliked for any reason, it MUST be because she’s pretty and they’re jealous and certainly not a fault of hers) is a narcissistic, arrogant, ugly person who I dislike for being that way. I highly doubt this girl’s coworkers and neighbors are as preoccupied with her looks as she is. I do highly suspect this girl’s coworkers and neighbors are tired of her trying to get out of work/responsibilities or flirting with coworkers or neighbors in inappropriate (and uncomfortable) situations.
As for marketing – eh, every commercial is trying to convince you that you’re not good enough in SOME way, and this product will fix it. Seriously, listen to ESPN radio- probably 9/10 the commercials are for P90X (get the body you had 20 years ago!), hair replacement creams/therapy (get your confidence back!), or some form of boner pills (have the stamina you did 20 years ago! Please your wife like you used to!). Car commercials are trying to sell you a status symbol (impress your friends!) or an image of a rugged man (with this pickup truck you’ll drive on the road and never on the dirt we’re showing!) or how to be a better parent (your kids aren’t safe enough in other cars)! All advertising plays on insecurity and jealousy.
“eh, every commercial is trying to convince you that you’re not good enough in SOME way, and this product will fix it.” SO TRUE.
Her problem comes less from being “beautiful” and more from flaunting that “fact.” Meaning if she believes she’s better than others she may have that attitude and the other women hate her for acting all stuck up. She just sees it as directed at her appearance instead of her actions and attitude.
I saw this & my mouth dropped open every time I saw it….
I agree with Crabby too – but also, I do think that nicer looking women do have an edge in this society whether they are crazy & talk about it like this lady or not… looks do count but this lady – something else at work here! 😉
I think that most people react negatively to bragging, no matter what it’s about. “I’m so beautiful” rubs people the wrong way…but so would “I’m so brilliant” or “Look at me! So rich! Ha ha!” Even a beautiful, brilliant, rich person would rub people the wrong way if they were that in-your-face about it.
If a coworker or friend said to me, “I look awful today,” I would try to reassure them that they were fine…but if they said, “Wow, I’m so beautiful, and I’m way hotter than you,” I would think they were obnoxious and also immediately notice all their flaws, and not because of jealousy.
That said, I think that we do judge an arrogant-seeming woman more harshly than we do a man…but on the other hand, how many men would announce, “It’s too bad Rick was rude to me when we played squash and then my boss gave me a bad review and my neighbor let his dog crap on my lawn…they must be jealous of my stunning looks!” He’d be a laughingstock! It’s always disappointing when women sink to the lowest stereotypes of society…but oh, well…
Good point about the double standard. And I laughed out loud at your imagined “Rick” confession!
Absolutely pretty privilege exists and absolutely should be taken advantage of 🙂 More importantly, people who believe they are pretty are confident, and confidence is what is so attractive. That’s what earns the ‘privilege’. Not to be confused with arrogance or entitlement.
Coming from the guys side of things, I can definitely say this sort of thing happens on this side of the fence as well.
I used to snicker and talk behind the backs of guys who were more of an alpha male than myself. It took me a long time to Recognise that doing so was from my own sense of insecurity and poor self esteem. Once I started to commend those who I saw as superior to myself, my self image actualy improved. Even if a guy came in acting like a big deal, If I also talked him up I felt great and felt like I was a part of his group as it were.
I also realized that if I criticized others for being lean, strong, or rich then i was telling my subconscious that I didn’t want those things and therefor was pushing them away.
Yes looks are not everything, but I wonder if it’s in our best interest to demonize someone for standing up and saying they are beautiful.
Excellent comment and so many interesting points but I particularly like this: “Once I started to commend those who I saw as superior to myself, my self image actualy improved. Even if a guy came in acting like a big deal, If I also talked him up I felt great and felt like I was a part of his group as it were.
I also realized that if I criticized others for being lean, strong, or rich then i was telling my subconscious that I didn’t want those things and therefor was pushing them away.” We are what we think, indeed!
To be honest, I didn’t get past the first paragraph of her article. My eyes started rolling so hard I was afraid they would roll right back into my head and get stuck there. That being said, however, I think there is some truth to the Pretty/Thin Privilege. There is a DEFINITE difference in how I am treated now versus how I was treated when I was 50-60 pounds heavier. Especially when it comes to men. I’m a friendly person. That is just in my nature. I make new friends everywhere I go, but I’ve found that I have to tone down my friendliness toward men now because they perceive it as flirting. Whereas when I was heavier it was perceived as what it was intended to be — friendly behavior. It’s frustrating to me that I can’t be myself, but it’s better than ending up in an uncomfortable situation.
p.s. So, I’m pretty sure I saw you at Ikea yesterday and I was going to say something to you, but you were with your family, so I thought it might be weird.
Ohmygoodness you should have said hi!!! I was there solo (hubby was in school) and was dying for some adult convo. I hope I wasn’t picking my nose or yelling at one of my kids for picking theirs. Gotta love kids eat free night though, right??
You know what makes me sad. Days I wear makeup and comb my hair people (men and women) are nicer to me. If I’m barefaced people don’t strike up conversations as often and cashiers aren’t as friendly. I feel pretty confident without makeup even if I look a little plain so I don’t think it’s that but maybe. Unfortunately I think we live in a pretty shallow society that is nicer to attractive people.
When I’m feeling insecure about my looks I remind myself a rose and an orchid are both beautiful but look completely different. Beauty really is subjective and there is room for all kinds. I may not be of the tall blonde breed but there are people who like the short pale with dark hair types. My husband being one. He is the only person I whose opinion matters to me. He thinks I’m beautiful chubby, lean, muscular, with or without makeup because he sees beyond the exterior. I’m so grateful for that.
And really at the end of a day (life) does beauty matter? We all end up facing the same thing.
PS It helps to not have tv or read magazines. It’s amazing how being exposed to that shapes us. We have never had TV and never plan to get it. The few times I’ve brought a women’s magazine home Brent has asked me to throw it away. He’s right. I can’t completely avoid being a product of culture but I can do my best to reduce it by avoiding damaging media for me and my family.
“When I’m feeling insecure about my looks I remind myself a rose and an orchid are both beautiful but look completely different. Beauty really is subjective and there is room for all kinds.” I love this. And considering I’ve spent the last two days barefaced with a pony tail, I think you are right about that too…
PS I didn’t read her article. It’s not something I want to choose to spend my time reading but I think it’s sad that people are criticizing her for feeling beautiful. I wish more women could see themselves as beautiful. But like I said I didn’t read it do I didn’t her the tone. Ok bye.
I agree with the one commenter, I had thought the original article was an April Fools Joke or something. I do find, though, that I’ve been treated differently throughout my life depending on my weight and how I’m dressed/wearing makeup. But does that just boil down to when I’m feeling more confident I project happiness and I get happiness back from people rather than them being more pleasant to me if I look prettier? Or are they genuinely nicer because I’m looking better? Either way I don’t find women are meaner or jealous of me if I’m looking good, if anything the opposite. So I think the article was bunk–or maybe the woman is just really difficult to deal with and assumes people don’t like her because she’s pretty when really it’s her personality.
I always felt like it was my fault. People also underestimate your intelligence and assume you got there because of your looks. I struggled with this so much. I ended up gaining weight and stopped having even mildly friendly conversations with most guys in an effort to protect myself and feelings.
I had to stop myself and think of an article I read in another newspaper yesterday about a study that shows that attractive women have less chance of getting an interview if they send a picture with their CV’s.
I think Samantha Brick has been hanging with the wrong sort of women.
I can see what she’s getting at. In high-school, I was extremely plain, while my best friend was amazingly good looking. Almost every guy in our grade asked her out at some point, and it was honestly terrifying the venom she received from some of the girls in our grade. It got to the point where I was convinced that some of them must have been psychotic, the things they were saying. It wasn’t like my friend had encouraged the attentions of the guys or flaunted everything in the faces of these girls either. In fact, she wasn’t even interested in dating at the time. I don’t think she ever got very much out of being absurdly beautiful. It didn’t do much good for her career (as her field is female dominated), and her husband is totally average by any objective standard.