Lots of videos in today’s post – click through to see them if they don’t show up in your reader or email! Trust me, you want to see these!
I dare you to watch this and not laugh once.
Try this experiment: Find a funny YouTube video. But DON’T watch it yet! I recommend this one of video submissions for Ellen’s Dance Dare: (Yes it’s totally safe for work)
Now, hold a pencil between your teeth. Yes, I know that’s weird. Just do it. Do it! Doooo iiit! Now, hit play and watch the video. Keep the pencil clenched between your teeth the whole time! On a scale of 1 to 10 rate how funny you thought it was. Enter your response here: ___ (Psych! I have no idea how to code survey boxes. You’ll have to pretend.)
Next, find a second funny video. (But don’t watch it yet!) Feel free to use this h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s continuation of Ellen’s Dance Dare:
Now take that same slimy pencil and this time hold it between your lips and hit play. Keep the pencil in the whole time you’re watching. Now rate the second video on a scale of 1 to 10 of how funny you found it. Enter your score here: ___ (Just write on your screen. It’s okay.)
Chances are you probably found the first video funnier than the second. (Or if you don’t think people sneaking up behind unsuspecting strangers and dancing is funny then you want to throw your drool-y pencil at me.) The reason for this, according to happiness researchers, is that holding the pencil between your teeth forces you to engage your smile muscles while holding the pencil between your lips engages your frown muscles. And – here’s today’s super important lesson – if you act in an emotional way, your body will try and fit your situation to match your feelings. Ergo, if you’re smiling then the video must be funny. This is huge because most of us focus on how this works the opposite way (the video is funny so that’s why I’m smiling). Most people think that they are reacting to a situation when in actuality we are reacting to our own interpretation of the situation. Deep, I know.
Real-world example: Today I was driving home from a failed park expedition with my kids (first day of “spring” “break” and all they’ve done is bicker) and I was stressed out, irritated and cranky. (It also didn’t help that there were gun shots while we were at the park and the police came. No, I didn’t see anything. Which means the cops missed their opportunity to use my stellar sleuthing skills that I have garnered from watching countless hours of Law & Order.) But remembering this happiness lesson, I tried forcing myself to smile. The kids screamed louder. One of them puked (oh yes he did). Another threw a water bottle at me. Truly I had nothing in that moment to be happy about.
And yet before I knew it I was giggling. As soon as I’d started smiling I remembered a hilarious and completely inappropriate conversation I’d had at the gym this morning where one unnamed Gym Buddy gave one of the funniest object lessons of a sex act I have ever seen. (Not that I’ve seen a lot. Wow, this just keeps getting worse.) And it came up during a discussion of the recipe she was trying for dinner. I can’t explain it here. But I laughed so hard I cried. My kids thought I had lost my mind. But in reality my mind is a genius – it sensed me smiling and then searched around for a reason for why I might be happy. (… and of course came up with a lewd joke. I’m a 13-year-old boy, we’ve covered this.) It totally worked!!
Now think about how many times you’ve done the opposite. You probably didn’t even realize you were doing it but when confronted with an ambiguous situation, most of us have default thoughts we go back to. Someone doesn’t say hi to me? I automatically think they don’t like me or are mad at me or whatever. Someone cuts me off in traffic? They’re jerks or bad drivers. Someone compliments my new haircut? They must think I looked ugly before. And the more times this happens the more quickly those same negative thoughts spring up until they’re so natural we think they’re true whether or not they really are.
All of which is not to invalidate your emotions but rather get you to think about the fact that while we can’t always choose the situations we’re in, we have more control over our feelings about them then we think! Feeling bad doesn’t necessarily mean the situation is bad and being in a bad situation doesn’t necessarily mean we have to keep feeling bad about it! I love it when research makes me happy! Or maybe it’s just because I forgot to take the pencil out of my teeth…
Anyone else ever noticed this phenomenon? What do you do to get yourself out of a bad mood? Anyone ever tried a dance dare? This weekend my husband and I polka-ed around a bunch of students at the University. Unfortunately the polka is as noisy as it is dorky so I’m pretty sure they saw us and were just politely averting their eyes but it was still hilarious!
Love the stealth dancing! My day is off to a good start.
I’m the annoyingly cheerful person who tries to make people smile and laugh at work. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. (My “Let me balance your chakras” hand-waving routine worked wonders on a grumpy colleague last week.)
Oh my goodness that was hysterical. When I am in a not so happy mood I used to reach for anything sugar. Thank goodness those days are over. Now I say a little prayer. It works at putting me in a good mood.
Great post- with two little ones- it’s a good thing to keep in mind.
Love this! It’s a great reminder to smile through the pain.
Yup – I have found this to be true over and over. When I’m stressed I do try and take the time in the morning on the bus to the gym and life to think of three things, big or small, that I’m grateful for. I think of why they are so important to me. I inevitably end up smiling, focused on positive things. Yes, there are times to be sad and times to look at things face on, but so many things get in the way of feeling happy and content and being more present in life. So much more can be done and dealt with when you’re not glooming and fuming.
It’s like what my husband calls my spread a smile experiment. I have this obsession that when I’m out and about if I happen to make eye contact with someone randomly, instead of looking away I smile genuinely at them. Most of the time they are surprised and their face lights up and they smile too. And so it spreads. Muahahaha!
I don’t think those were the right videos for me to try this with. They were both a ten, but I am a big fan of both Ellen and random acts of dancing. Also, I couldn’t get the pencil to stay in my lips because I started laughing so hard.
I wonder, though, if that is why angry music makes me happier. Nothing too dark, mind you, but Alanis Morissette’s earlier stuff or Three Days Grace. Perhaps the singing along engages those smile muscles. It also makes people think I’m insane, but whatever.
Thanks for the morning laughs!
So true – just the simple act of ‘faking’ emotions through facial expressions can have such a significant impact on our experiences! Good reminder to smile.
Hee! Love those videos.
When I’m able to, I get outside. And teaching my classes ALWAYS puts me in a better mood. I’ve been Miss Crankypants lately, so my doctor told me to take vitamin D. Can’t really tell if it’s working yet (PMS), but we’ll see.
The other day I was in the market with my headphones on, listening to “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” and cracking up. Luckily I live in the Bay Area, where there are plenty of like-minded wackadoos, so the sight of a woman in the produce aisle laughing loudly at seemingly nothing didn’t phase any of the other shoppers. A bunch of them actually smiled at me! I love living here, lol!
My one dance dare was in college: a bunch of friends and I were walking down 6th Ave. in Manhattan, behind a couple. The guy was wondering aloud why life couldn’t be more like the movies, where people randomly break into spontaneous song and dance. So we all started dancing and singing around them as we made our way down the sidewalk.
Ah, good times!
Those videos are seriously fantastic. And the research isn’t too bad either. I’ll try to keep it in mind. I know from experience that if I can distract myself out of a bad mood I feel better but it’s hard. Being grumpy is so much easier!
I’m a big fan of Fake it til you make it 🙂
that’s part of the logic behind “Opposite Action” in DBT… basically how doing the opposite what you’re feeling can impact how you’re feeling… change it for the better..
I don’t know about any of this, but those videos just made my day and I am stealing them from you for my post tomorrow. I love Ellen.
So thanks for that. ANd now, the next time someone cuts me off (or a student makes me mad), I’m going to try to dance behind them. I mean, remember the videos…that’s what I’m going to do. no dancing.
Pingback:Fun and fail « Cookies and Crafts
Pingback:Fun and fails « Cookies and Crafts
There is a similar tool some actors use to achieve certain emotional states. The idea is if you are supposed to laugh (or cry or get ticked or…) just start faking it and the real emotion will follow.
When we were doing home passport photo’s for our visa’s we were told “straight faces, no smiling” well that’s the cue for total gigglefest! Took us about 15 minutes, then my face was all red from laughing and tear streaks!
I also suffer from delayed/repeated laughter fits. Cos you remember something was so funny, then you laugh, then you laugh because you are remembering it and still laughing, and so it continues….
Reminds me of this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iKjkPgVQcE
(NSFW due to language)
Smile is important for countless reasons. A simple smile can make your day very joyful.
You’re so right Charlotte! I am a co-founder of the best skin care clinic in Andheri – a suburb in Mumbai, India and I have a ton of clients in the vicinity where I reside. There is a park nearby where I go for my evening walks and there is this one regular client who used to be usually very warm and friendly in the clinic but barely recognized me or even waved a hand to say hi to me when I passed her by on the jogging track. This was exacerbated by the fact that she was usually accompanied by her friend and I used to assume that she was not much into friendly waving when engrossed in friendly banter with her close friends! Until one day I couldnt take it anymore and I went out of the way to greet her and I realized that she was short sighted! She wears contact lenses all the time but prefers not to when exercising outdoors! And all this time I was internally going through all this heartburn thinking that she was snooty when in fact being myopic she just couldn’t recognize me from a distance. Goes a long way to prove how often our reactions are grossly over the top and inappropriate when confronted with the real truth in life and in our dealings with people.
Pingback:Scarlet Words » Blog Archive » Feel good Friday!
Pingback:Turning a Frown Upside Down Takes More Than Being Able to do a Headstand* | The Great Fitness Experiment
Pingback:» Can You Choose to be Happy? Jennifer Picicci Wellness Coaching