“Wait, I know you!” The teacher stared down at me quizzically as we both waited for the recognition to come. “You are… the girl with the questions!”
The last time I came to this Jujitsu class they refused to let me try it so instead I peppered them with questions for half an hour – How did you get into MMA? How long have you been doing this? Have you ever been choked out? How many holds are there? Did you really just say “rear naked choke hold”? – until they relented and said I could come back. (I’m guessing for laughs).
But this night I smiled and answered with – what else? – a question. “Where do I start?” And thus began my first official MMA lesson. Over the past few weeks at Life Time Fitness I’ve tried out lots of the classes in their MMA program: boxing (loved it but I’m way stronger in my lower body), conditioning (I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been sweatier in my entire life), kickboxing and then finally a combination of jujitsu (grappling) and MMA conditioning (we did spider push-ups where you crawl up a wall backwards into a handstand! While wearing boxing gloves!) for two hours last night.
But all my questions landed me in a very strange position: Straddling my friend Cassie and feeling her up while I tried to figure out how to get her into a head lock. (She was such a good sport!) This wouldn’t be the first time my questions have got me into a bizarre situation. In fact, just last Saturday I found myself in a very crowded park surrounded by a bunch of gorgeous Amazon women in lingerie playing football while a bunch of guys worked a slackline nearby and pretended not to notice. Thankfully my job was not to play the lingerie football but rather to ask the questions. And I learned a lot! I kind of fell in love with those girls because, as I discovered in interview after interview, they’re not in it for the lingerie, they’re in it because they love football, they’re great at it and the Lingerie Football League is the only professional women’s football organization in this country. So if you want to be pro, you gotta wear the panties. (I’m actually not sure of the veracity of this assertion. I googled “professional women’s football leagues USA” and found 3 but none of them seem to pay their players – although it was hard to tell – so perhaps the girls who said this meant “pro” as in they get paid to play?)
I love to ask questions. Because I love people. I love everything about people and therefore I want to know everything there is to know about them. I want to know where you are born and why you left. I want to know if you are religious and if so what kind. I want to know what kind of kid you were in high school. I want to know what your preferred method of spider killing is. I want to know how many siblings you have and if you think frozen yogurt is better than ice cream and if you cried when you first read The Diary of Anne Frank. I want to know how you workout and what diet philosophy you subscribe to and if you’ve ever tried aerial yoga. Hey I even care if your urine is neon, if you wear underwear under your gym pants and if you fantasize about zombies when you run.
Creeped out yet? Back before I was a writer and got to do all this under the auspices of “interviews” for “work” I was still asking all the questions but it just made me seem way weirder. Now I’m still the weird Girl With the Questions but I’m also now the Girl Who Gets the Answers. (Also, I think I’m pretty decent at knowing when people want me to stop asking questions and back off already. I hope.)
This curiosity: It’s why I mainly only read memoirs or biographies. It’s why I watch documentaries. Heck, it’s why I love public transportation (captive subjects)! I have little patience for fiction or fantasy because real people are so fascinating. Anyone remember that dart board Oprah used to have where she’d pick a random seat in her studio audience and then ask that person about their life story? My dream job. (Dart throwing included. I love darts!)
Of course there’s a twist: being The Girl With the Questions usually means I don’t get asked many questions myself. And I like it that way. While I am an open book – if you’ve read this site for more than 10 minutes you know that I will tell you way more than you ever wanted to know about me – the information I choose to share is selected. By me. There are some things I just don’t talk about (I know, I’m as shocked as you are). And while there are very few reader questions I get that I don’t want to answer (seriously I love your e-mails SO much!) answering my own questions is harder. For instance, why am I so interested in MMA – a sport known for brutalizing other human beings? Any answer I come up with to this question makes me really uncomfortable. I like punching things. I love kicking things. Doing the “ground and pound” last night (where you straddle a heavy bag on the floor and punch, kick, elbow and knee the crap out of it) was one of the most exhilarating workouts I’ve ever done. But where does this violence come from*? And, more importantly, where is it taking me? So far I don’t have any urge to punch actual people. Should I be indulging this instinct or squelching it? This fire, it scares me.
My lesson stopped with me getting called out 15 minutes before class ended to change a poopy diaper. Snap back to reality! The questions my life is made up of: Where’s your brother? Why do you only have one shoe on? Where’s your other brother? Why do you have a footprint on your back? Who gave the baby markers? Who loves you? Will you give mommy some kisses??
The Girl With the Questions. I’ll take it.
Are you overly curious about other people too? Anyone else have a weird violent streak? Does it freak you out too? What is the actual definition of a “pro” sports team?! (And feel free to answer any of the above questions too! I’d love to know your answers!)
*And no, it’s not because I’m a natural fighter and am just so good at it. Trainer Steve, a boxer himself, says that when it comes to punching either you’ve got it or don’t. I’m 99% sure I don’t got it.
I love this post, and one of the things I appreciated most is that it was gratifying to read that someone else has little patience with fiction or fantasy. I read fiction voraciously as a younger person, but it seems that I have lost interest, in most–with the rare exception– in favor of the real thing–biographies.. There’s nothing more interesting than learning what makes a “real person” tick.
I am terribly disinterested in pro sports in general, with the exception of the occasional resurgence of interest in the Vikings . (Yes, I’m from MN). That “pro” women’s football thing will just have to get along without me.
Non fiction section girl here!
I enjoy my violent streak. You got a problem with that?
And yes, I ask wayyy too many questions. I get an honorary doctorate in just about anything I get obsessed with, which is everything I think about, if only in my mind.
Love the blog.
I’m very curious, I want to know everything about everyone! I’m not nosy, I’m just genuinely curious about life and what brings people to different places. I think it’s why I became a social worker! The best was when I worked in adoption. Doing home studies you have to ask the questions you want to know but it’s socially unacceptable to ask. And then write a 15 page report on it. Anytime I meet someone who comes from a background significantly different from my own, I just want to ask a million questions, but I know I’d look like a weirdo if I did!
I’m an equal opportunity reader of fiction and non-fiction. The really good fiction writers amaze me with their insight into real humans, describing their thoughts and emotions and motivations in ways that just don’t work with “real” people.
I’m pretty nosy, too. I often over-step the boundaries of personal space and good taste when grilling, I mean, talking to people, but I don’t have the excuse of being a writer.
I am curious about people but tend not to ask questions because I don’t want to seem rude or nosy. But since you asked: I was born and grew up in Nova Scotia, I moved to New Brunswick for a job and I’m still here….I grew up in a religious family but I am not religious…I was a shy, wall flower type kid and still tend to be that way…My preferred method of spider killing is to have someone else do it for me….I have 2 sisters and a brother, all younger than me…Depends on the frozen yogurt; I like the kind that actually has that yogurt tang and doesn’t just taste like ice cream (Yogen Fruz: how I miss you!)…I can’t remember if I ever read the Diary of Anne Frank but I’m afraid to read it now because it would probably devastate me…Diet & exercise philosophy is more or less do the best I can…aerial yoga? No, but I’d be willing to give it a shot. 🙂
Asking questions is quite alright and warranted, but there also are those who always ask questions because they hesitate to practically try things. Therefore the question is: do your questions keep you from taking action?
I love fighting! In my younger, less self-controlled days, I used to start fights not out of anger, but for the love of punching stuff. Nowadays, my next door neighbor is an ex pro-fighter (now an 80-year-old professional crotchety old man) and he ‘trains’ me with all his equipment. Better for me, better for society.
I’m not sure if daydream is the right word here, but I’m always imagining scary or dangerous situations and how I think I would handle them if they arose. For example, when running, I think about what I would do if someone popped out of the trees and tried to grab me. My thoughts instantly turn to becoming a ninja and taking them down. I even have very vivid dreams where I’m fighting…good thing I always win. I’m surprised the poor fiance hasn’t found mysterious bruises from my night-time adventures.
Kickboxing is something I’ve always wanted to do; I just wish the classes weren’t so expensive! I think I would love nothing more than punching and hitting bags as hard as I could. I don’t think it stems from aggression, just the need to know I can take care of myself and be safe in any situation (at least I hope this is what it is!).
Oh, man.
After The Boyfriend’s old apartment was robbed,
I spent a couple of days perfecting my sideswipes with a saucepan.
I was very violent, and it felt GOOD.
My thought is,
it’s okay to know that you could take care of yourself or someone innocent in a fight.
And if that means being exhilarated by punching the crap out of a bag or a sparring partner, so be it.
🙂
I have a question for you 🙂 you mentioned you’re training for a half-marathon in your last post! When is it? I’m training for my first half-marathon at the beginning of September and I’d love it if you wrote about your training!
True! My half is actually at the beginning of August so I don’t have much official training time. (which seems to be how I do things, lol!) For me, since I’m not racing to win and I’ve already got a decent mileage base built, it’s just about getting in a few long runs before the actual race day. Let me think about it and see if I can come up with a more coherent plan! Just one thought: are you incorporating speed work? Sprinting actually made the biggest difference in my overall running!
I love love asking questions (and answering most of them too!) I’m always too afraid to ask others questions, though, in case it is impolite!
It’s why you’d see me sitting in the park/bus/library pretending to write/read while actually “eavesdropping” on people 😛
P.S. A question for you! Is your birthday in July? Because I read a post of yours (July 4th) and saw that it said birthday and I thought “Wow! Another July 4th person (I’m the 6th, but I know like 10 people born the 4th).
Feel free not to answer if it’s too personal a question!
Cheers.
Hahah – no not too personal at all! My birthday is actually June 28th. So, close, but not on the 4th! Yay for Cancers! (Wow, that does NOT sound right.)
HahaI know what you mean! Go us crabby chicas 🙂
I took a few years worth of tae kwon do. Basically I need to take my black belt test and be done with it. I take boot camps three times a week and sometimes we do kick boxing. I love working with the heavy bag and doing speed work. It gives women a sense of strength and empowerment. Of confidence and security. Also, the more we sit in our comfy homes and type with little movements on our computer, the more we deny our bodies and minds the natural movements they were designed to do – punching is an outlet for that very natural energy. Enjoy it. And I have found I became less violent – because I know the damage I can do. It is reserved for time of need.