Drinking your own urine: One more thing to strike off your healthy bucket list!
Bucket lists are as popular these days as prison tattoos and while I love the idea of having goals and dreaming big, just because something is on The List doesn’t mean it’s a Good Idea. So here are 10 things that in my opinion are overhyped in the fitness world and while I always encourage experimenting, feel free to scratch these off your bucket list with no guilt.
(And now the part where I confess. First: I have done every single one of these things. And I’m not sorry I did. So if you love these things I’m not telling you to quit them or that they’re bad – with the exception of #9 – but rather that if you never do these things, you can still be a fitness nerd in good standing!)
1. Max Squat
This gave me hemorrhoids. Yes, I said it. And I’m not the only one. If you are a competitive weight lifter then it’s important for you to know your 1-rep max (the absolute heaviest you can do with good form) on a variety of lifts. For the rest of us it’s just bragging rights and I can tell you from personal (painful) experience that winning the water cooler wars pales next to being able to sit comfortably. Squat heavy, certainly, but there’s just no need bust your butt (literally) for an arbitrary number.
If you do decide to try it: Make sure you have good spotters and use a squat rack. Good form is paramount. Also, train up to it. Back-squatting 1.5 times your body weight is not something you just do on a whim.
2. Run a marathon
If running is considered the ultimate exercise then running a marathon is the ultimate exercise goal. But running 26.2 miles isn’t for everyone. What a lot of beginning runners don’t understand (and I certainly didn’t) is that running a marathon isn’t to get you in shape but rather you need to be in shape to run a marathon. Aside from the fact that training for one often makes people more hungry and thereby stalls or slows weight loss goals; your bones, joints and especially heart take a serious beating. More is not always better and you don’t need hours of high-impact cardio to be healthy and fit.
If you do decide to try it: It’s a rush, no doubt about it! And if running long distances is your passion then get a realistic training plan and go for it. I’ve found it very helpful to find a running group or a running partner with marathon experience to help navigate all the ins and outs of training for running for 4+ hours.
3. Get a Brazilian wax (Boys, close your eyes)
Someone somewhere just spit their coffee out all over their keyboard. But I can’t even tell you how many gym convos I’ve had with random women about grooming their nethers. What you do with your lady landscaping is a very personal preference but there are a lot of fitness people that preach bare is better. I’ve heard reasons ranging from it’s more hygienic to it’s less sweaty to it just looking better in tight spandex pants, swimsuits or booty shorts. However, this may be one of those things that you don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone. (And now you’ll always associate Cinderella with pubes. You’re welcome.) I’m not going to go into a ton of detail but for me the pain was not worth the supposed benefits. (And research has shown that the little tears created make you more susceptible to infection right after.) There are so many options between Africa and Brazil – just consider them before pulling out the wax.
If you do decide to try it: Go to a licensed pro (as my college roommate who literally glued her butt together can tell you), check your modesty at the door and plan on some serious upkeep because growing it back in is a nightmare.
4. Pound a wheatgrass shot
Wheatgrass juice shots, staple of fitness diehards since the 60’s, have only middling health benefits (and nothing you can’t get from other sources) and one big downside: the “cleansing effect”. As in, major blowout in the bathroom. While it didn’t quite have this effect on me the taste was unpleasant enough, the price was high enough (those suckers are pricey!) and the research ambiguous enough that I have opted to never repeat the experience.
If you do decide to try it: Use fresh as the vitamins break down quickly, take it on an empty stomach and start with no more than 3 oz at a time.
5. Wear a leotard
I’m going to be perfectly honest: I wish leotards and their ungainly twin, the unitard, would make a comeback. It’s not that I don’t love being able to pee at will but if you’ve ever worked out in a leo, then you’ll know they’re not only pretty comfy but they have a nice way of holding everything in and reducing jiggle. Plus you don’t have to worry about the “windowshade effect” where your top rolls up and your pants slip down – usually while you’re sprinting on the treadmill. That said, Jane Fonda costumes aside, you never have to wear a leo. Nor is it required of you to wear spandex at all! Lots of people workout quite happily in non-traditional workout attire. If you’re comfortable in it and it covers your bits, you’re golden.
If you do decide to try it: Go big or go home! And then send me a picture! I have leotards in gold lamé, pink paillettes, and neon and black sequins among others. Another option that I’ve seen some women do is to wear them underneath your regular Lulus, kind of like Spanx.
6. Do a biceps curl and/or triceps kickback
The functional fitness trend has been one of the best things to come out of the last decade of fitness research. Muscle isolation movements, especially those of the small muscles, are not necessary for muscle growth or strength. In fact, scientists are discovering that it’s better to train movements you actually use on a regular basis like pushing, pulling and rotating. You’ll still work your bis and tris but just in combination with other muscle groups like you’d do in real life. Seriously, when’s the last time you had to tricep kickback anything?
If you do decide to try it: Just make sure it’s part of a total body weight lifting program. Don’t be that guy (or girl) who only works the muscles they like.
7. Dance
Zumba is huge. Hip hop fitness classes are all the rage. Dancing With the Stars is the new national pastime. But while I think dancing is a riot and will do it anytime anyplace, some people find dancing hugely intimidating. Whether it’s the choreography, the music or the feeling that everyone is staring at you (they’re not looking at you, they’re looking at your gold leotard!), some people hate any kind of workout that includes dancing. If that’s you, there’s no shame in steering clear! Although if you get dragged into the Cha Cha Slide at a party I can’t help you.
If you do decide to try it: Go more than once!! Dance workouts are generally choreographed and while it looks like everyone else instinctively knows what to do next it’s really because they’ve been practicing for weeks. Everyone hates a dance workout the first time they try it because they look like a total spaz doing The Elaine while everyone else is doing The Dougie.
8. Go Vegan/Go Paleo
I’m going to step on a whole bunch of toes right now but I don’t think you have to go on an extreme elimination diet to be healthy. Can going Vegan or Paleo/Primal improve your health? Sure. I know lots of people who swear by both diets (and that’s a convo for another day). But too often I see people decide to Get! Healthy! and start by doing a juice cleanse or a 30-day raw challenge or dropping all carbs. Sometimes this jump starts people’s health journey but often it just jump starts them into yo-yo dieting and the shame spiral.
If you do decide to try it: There’s nothing wrong with wanting to eat vegan or paleo but get educated! Don’t just drink the Kool-Aid of whoever is selling the diet. Read books, talk to people, look up research. Also, making dietary changes works better for many people if you do them gradually. I’m convinced that everyone can be a scientist of their own body so listen closely to what it is telling you and eat the way that makes you feel the best!
9. Throw up
Blowing chunks has become a badge of honor in some workout circles – puke buckets next to the squat rack, anyone? – but pushing yourself until you vomit, faint, or collapse really means you’ve pushed too hard. Working out hard can be great but there’s no added health benefits (and some distinct health detriments) in pushing yourself to the point of puking. Yes, I’ve done this and I’ve learned the hard way that it’s nothing to be proud of.
If you do decide to try it: Just don’t. And if you thought I meant bulimia, don’t do that either. Although if you do want your own lane in a crowded lap pool, just dry heave a few times and you’ll be flying solo in no time!
10. Share your running playlist on Facebook
First, it’s kinda boring. While I love getting a song recommendation from a friend, I do not care to see all 100 songs on your 80’s tribute list (set to 165 bpm). Second, it opens you up to a panoply of ridicule. I love that you love Neil Diamond. In fact, I love it so much that I will now sing “Forever in Blue Jeans” every single time I see you. Seriously though, music taste is so individual. I’ve never seen anyone look at someone else’s playlist and shriek “You are a genius! I must have this!”.
If you do decide to try it: Mess with people’s heads! Throw in some Marilyn Manson right next to the Cookie Monster song. Have every song title include the word death. Do Christmas songs in April. Come on, this is your chance to really weird people out!!
So, your turn! What do you think should be taken off the “must-do” fitness lists?? Do you disagree with anything on my list?
I know good advice when I sees it.
Haha, I love this. I spent my teenage years as a ballet dancer basically living in a leotard, so I’m glad I don’t have to revisit that! I was preparing to try my first ever max squat next week but you have seriously freaked me out so I’m going to put it off.
I used to think I couldn’t be fit unless I trained for a marathon. After I did my first “long” run, which was around 11 or 12 miles, and experienced all the pain afterwards, I re-evaluated why I was doing it. It wasn’t actually a passion of mine at all, so I quit. Now I run for 10 minutes once a week – it’s much better that way 😉
Oh I’m not saying you shouldn’t do it but do be prepared! Check out the comments below too as some of the others have tips for you!
My only marathon was in Goofy’s Challenge (go big or go home?!). I’m not saying I’ll never do another one, but half-marathons fit my life better right now!
Leotards and unitards- I have a leopard print unitard! I had a lot of crazy print ones when I ran cross-country in high school. You could always see the bottom half of me coming from a mile away!! 🙂
Vegan/Paleo- I agree with you. While I enjoy Paleo and how I feel, I will probably never be 100% and that is fine with me. It’s all about learning what foods make me feel good and what foods aren’t as friendly! No one way of eating works for everyone.
I agree with this, in terms of Paleo. When asked and I only give a quick answer, I suppose I’d say I eat Paleo. But Paleo itself has a lot of different meanings out there. And it’s more about learning what my body likes. The basics of it – fat being okay, cutting out processed foods – are what I follow. Extreme anything, though, never works.
I love your basics! Totally agree on all of them.
How bad do I want a leopard print uni?!?
I follow a primal lifestyle, a lighter version of paleo. I don’t have problems with dairy and don’t want to give it up What’s life without cheese? I gave up processed carbs and feel so much better after doing it. I still eat lots of fruit and veggies.
I like the Zumba class at my gym. It’s like a night out dancing with my gal pals and not so much an exercise class. I think we annoy the teacher at times. *GRIN*
I totally want to come to Zumba with you now!!
Funny list! No leotard for me, but trisuits are leotards with legs I guess! I’ve done the max squat (was a powerlifter for a few years), marathon(s) and tricep kickbacks (no more) and curls (still!).
A 1-rep max squat is a LOT of pressure, mentally and physically, and you’d better hope you haven’t overdone the fiber in the day prior. Nothing is safe – bowels, knees, back, etc!!
I think I would put the meticulous macro counting and food weighing on my anti-bucket list. I’m not sure I could ever go back to doing that.
“trisuits are leotards with legs I guess!” – hahah, so true!!
“and you’d better hope you haven’t overdone the fiber in the day prior.” Would be hilarious if if weren’t so true! I didn’t know you were a powerlifter! Very cool!! Love your anti-bucket list addition too.
Thanks for a good laugh this morning 🙂
I will admit to doing quite a few of these–but I will NEVER wear a leotard, get a Brazilian, or pridefully puke.
Love the list it made me laugh.
I love them all, and that’s coming from someone who is 90 percent vegan, has done triceps kickbacks/bicep curls and will dance like an idiot in my living room with my vacuum if the spirit moves me. However, I’m of the camp that thinks you don’t HAVE to do anything fitness-related to be into fitness. If you don’t run but bike, great. If you hate Zumba but can do a plank for an hour, more power to you.
However, I’m really over EVERYONE RUNNING AND TALKING ABOUT RUNNING. Also, CrossFit. I know you love it, but I swear it’s a cult based on the fact that everyone’s obsessed with it. I will never do it. I’m okay with that.
Eh, I’ve had my fill of CrossFit lately too! I just wrote a post for Shape about how it’s like a cult;) I say that with love but seriously, yes, it is. Love this: ” I’m of the camp that thinks you don’t HAVE to do anything fitness-related to be into fitness.”
Leotards, comfy? Yours are clearly from a different planet than any leo I’ve ever met. Between the enormous sweat circles (and trampoline isn’t even a very sweaty sport!) and the tendency of the bottom half to, um, invite itself in where it was never supposed to go, they’re a nightmare. And that’s before you start wondering just how many people now know what colour your knickers are. Mine gets stripped gratefully off as soon as the competition’s over.
Ah well, good point about the wedgies!! I guess I was thinking more of those leos with the little shorts attached that I used to wear to gymnastics. Maybe I’m short torso-ed but they seemed to stay put! (And also not show my knickers, lol!)
DUDE. I hate the playlist trend. I don’t care what you are listening to.
Puking is trendy? May I never be hip. (I don’t think I need to worry about that though.)
I admit it, I do bicep curls and triceps kickbacks in my classes. But we also do planks, and plenty of other functional, full-body exercises. I refuse. however, to let my clients work out until they puke. Of course, most of them aren’t really into Puking Pilates…
Oh, and I will never run a marathon or do
CrossFit, either. More power to those who do, it’s just not my thing. (I
did have to stop reading another blog when the writer became obsessed with CrossFit and refused to write about anything else. I don’t mind reading and hearing about it. Just not 3 posts a day, 7 days a week.
I think you must be talking about the same blogger who is obsessed with iced coffee, pugs and cookies… 🙂
:))
Puking Pilates!! That could totally be a new thing – come on, you Californians are always starting the coolest trends;) And yeah, I enjoy crossfit but I also enjoy, well, pretty much everything else too! It pays to be ADD??
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I LOVE leotards – I need to remember to work out in them more. Also, if you are teaching yoga, as I do, then you don’t have to worry about fussing with your shirt when it rides up! But the no peeing thing is frustrating. Ah well.
I love dance-type cardio classes – it’s the only high impact cardio I’ll do for an hour but then I was a dancer for more than ten years and I think picking up choreo is a skill you don’t really lose. Definitely echo what you said about folks rocking the moves because they’ve practiced them. My Saturday morning Zumba class where it’s mostly regulars can definitely look intimidating to newbies.
YES! Yoga is def easier in a leotard! We really need to bring this trend back now. And I too love choreo – it’s like a brain challenge AND a physical challenge at the same time! Makes the workout fly by.
I’m with you on the pukey thing. I only did that once (accidentally) and the whole experience was nasty. I cannot see why it’s good to force your body to that point. I had a friend who worked as a janitor in a fitness facility who actually quit her job because she was tired of cleaning up after people puking.
I’ve also never found a comfy leotard. Ever. It’s just not my thing- bits and things all end up in places they were never meant to be comfortably. There is a guy in my neighborhood who loves them and regularly bikes the trails in a black unitard. And yes, I still giggle every time I see him. 🙂
Yes, there are remarkable similarities to bike onesies, tri suits and unitards! I’ve had the same thought myself;) And this: ” I had a friend who worked as a janitor in a fitness facility who actually quit her job because she was tired of cleaning up after people puking.” REALLY?! Ew.
Haha I had a good laugh reading your list! I love leotards 🙂
Also, I have a friend that only works on his biceps and a bit on his triceps. He is fairly skinny with tiny legs but he has HUGE arms!
It’s actuallyp rety funny
*pretty funny
While I will admit I hate that I had to give up my leotard, I much prefer just a regular gym outfit. And I will agree that functional exercises are best. I’ve never been a fan of weightlifting, and these exercises have given me great looking arms without the need for a million curls a day. I’m still dancing though even though others may not want me to 🙂
So much win in this comment! Just the first line alone made my day:)
Right on girl!
Love the one about diets. I would add working out in the heat to toughen up and working through an injury.
Oooh good ones, both of them!
I don’t wear leotards, or tutus, mostly because I would look like an extra from Fantasia. I did once do a half-marathon but I will never make it to a full one because I don’t have the attention span. I want to want to be a runner….but it’s not me.
“because I don’t have the attention span” Buwhahah! I SO HEAR YOU. On all my long runs I had to beg friends to come talk to me (or let me talk to them) because I’d get soooo bored. I can’t listen to music for 4 hours straight.
Audio books people! That’s what I listened to when I ran marathons. Now with iPods it’s so easy… Back in the day we had to carry a heavy Sony tape in our hand and fill our shorts pockets with extra cassette tapes and batteries for long runs.
I agree – running is not for everyone. Until age 30, I was happy to never have run over a mile in my life. I don’t miss leotards from gymnastics days, but I guess tri suits are dorky enough. I don’t think I’ll ever go completely one type of diet, I enjoy different types of foods too much. I feel out of whack if I cut my carbs too low or completely cut out meat – I just try to stick to mostly whole grains and complex carbs and plants and good fats.
I have yet to (though I’ve felt like it) puke after a workout or race, though I know when I feel sick on a 5k, I’m doing it right. I occasionally do kickbacks or curls, but usually in a quick circuit with other arm exercises one right after the other – I can tell my arms are getting worked! 🙂
I lovelovelove how sensible you are! Sometimes you and I are totally on the same brain wavelength but then sometimes I look at you and think “that’s how I could be if I weren’t nuts!” I meant that as a compliment. Did that come out right?? Love you. The end.
I decided a while back that I would never feel the need to run a marathon. If humans were meant to do that, then why did the first Marathoner (back in the ancient Greek days, for all my fellow history buffs), drop dead upon arrival? But, to each their own. (This statement is partly from bitterness that my running days are now over due to a bone spur on my spine that, now that I think about it, was probably aggravated by running.)
As for the rest of the list, dance is one of the few things that will motivate me to work out (even though I’m a terrible klutz, it’s still fun), and as for vegan/paleo…have you ever noticed how many vocal paleo people are former vegans? Which I found a bit weird until I realized that rigid eating plans must really appeal to some people.
And finally (sorry if this is TMI) as for the Brazilian thing…yeah, I’ve done it. I lost a bet with my husband is why. PAINFUL!!!! But now I work at a medical spa where I get a huge discount on laser hair reduction, which gives the same result with a fraction of the pain, with no tiny tears to get infected. Without the discount, though, it’s not cheap. But for those who are interested I would add that to the “consider your options.”
I am SO INTERESTED in laser hair removal! Holla white girl with dark hair here!
So far (I’ve had two sessions), as another holla white girl with very dark hair, I can say for laser hair reduction,,,it’s not instant gratification (it treats the hair follicles that are active and can take from 6-8 sessions for real results, but I can say that I have noticeably less to shave after just two), and it only hurts a little bit (much less than waxing), but it is expensive. The listed price where I work is $250 for a session for Brazilian but much less for “bikini” (between my discount and the generosity of the aesthetician it’s way cheaper for me)…I would suggest looking up medical spas and asking for prices. You might find a good deal. Really, I think it’s a good alternative to waxing, in that the results last a lot longer (up to a year once the sessions are done, and then just touch-ups) and it barely hurts at all.
Weird thing for me… I did some treatments on my face, and only had enough for three treatments per area… I had better results after treatment #2 than I ended up with after the 3rd. No idea why the 3rd seemed to make things worse.
5 & 6 only for me – that I have done & I really don’t care that I have not done the others – even the max squat – I rather be sure I don’t injure myself! 😉 The leos – I wore them way after I should have! 😉
“The leos – I wore them way after I should have!” One of the many reasons I heart you!
Bwahahaha!!! Dry heaving in the lap pool! I can see that applying in any crowded areas of the gym. Even the bathroom line! Make way!
You are an evil genius! 🙂
Muwhahahah!
I never really got the whole appeal of running a marathon. For the most part everyone I know who’s ran one (who weren’t already avid runners) felt miserable doing it, I think it comes from a need to check it off their list, rather than just from the sheer joy and pleasure they derive from running very long distances. Baffles me to this day. Anywho, One thing I would add to the list is, interestingly enough, doing a crunch or sit up. You can disagree with me on this on if you’d like, but one of the things that I’ve learned is that the core is made primarily to stabilize the spine, so it’s purpose is actually to prevent things like excessive flexing (which is what the crunch or sit up does when you do them often, which is probably the case for most people). That’s not to say to never do them, in fact a crunch on a stability ball might be beneficial from a mobility standpoint, but things like planks, ab rollouts, bird dogs, and even squats or deadlifts with light to moderate weights are much better choices when your main goal is to build a strong and stable core. Thanks Charlotte for a fun and entertaining post!
Hahaha this was a crack up! Love the advice of puking in the pool to have the lane to yourself and making a playlist with cookie monster and death in the titles! Too true everyone thinks their playlists are amazing!
I was registered for a marathon up until last week, when I decided to bump down to the half marathon because the long runs were making me hate running. I’m still not a big fan of runs over 10 miles, but I’ll finish out the year with the half marathons I have already registered for and then stick to my beloved 5Ks and 10Ks. When any kind of exercise becomes a chore, I just don’t do it anymore.
Oh, and puking? Ick!
“Although if you do want your own lane in a crowded lap pool, just dry heave a few times and you’ll be flying solo in no time!” lolol!!
And yes, leotards are SO comfy! I danced FOREVER growing up. I think a leo, tights and ballet flats is probably one of my (secret) favorite outfits. I’m so excited to start teaching a kids ballet class next month, just so I can wear my own ballet gear 😀
Great list! I’m still undecided about running a marathon. It’s not so much the race itself, but the amount of training I would need to do in order to run it on my terms (around 4 hours). I’ve run 2 half marathons, and both took lots out of me. But you only live once, right, so why not? We’ll see.
Hahaha! Love your work. This made me LOL so hard. I’m sharing it with all my gymbo friends! 😀 Thank you! x
I thought #10 was about posting your running or biking stats on Facebook. If I don’t care what flavor of margarita you’re considering serving at your weekend barbecue I probably didn’t get invited to but am sure I’ll see photos of on your timeline, then I am certainly not interested in your 4.6mi run in 35.3 minutes you stinkin’ show off fitness nerd. Just please stop with the heart rate app.
And why did I only just notice on this visit that your web address has sex in the middle of it? That’s an analogy on so many levels…
A) Totally agree with you about stats on FB (unless it’s like a PR or something and then I totally want to cheer you on!) and b) Oh yes it does! I didn’t plan it that way but it still entertains me:)
I really enjoy reading your workout tips. These are really effective workouts. I prefer to go running. Since I am new runner, I think I need to do first the walking and then running. I am using 2 minutes running and two minutes walking since this is good start for a newbie.
Indulging to workouts make our body healthier, better and sexier. I love doing my daily workouts. It is necessary that we exert effort to get the ideal body we want if we really love to have a healthy lifestyle.
#8 – I love paleo, but I don’t expect everyone to try it. I DO think that anyone who takes their health seriously should play around a little bit and see what type of eating makes them feel and perform the best.
I never got the whole puking thing. But, I was pretty proud when I took my 16-year old son to work out with me and he threw up.
Bwahahaha!
Those are really great tips. I like the way you discuss things as people could easily understand what your saying without the need of an expert. Your tip number has the most impact to me.
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Браво, эта замечательная мысль придется как раз кстати здоровье суставов дона