“The hardest thing I’ve ever been through.” “The most important decision of my life.” “My life’s work.”
Memoir surfing the other day I came across these three declarations in a book written by a female scientist who is a rising star in her field. If you’ve read a memoir then the fact that it contained these three phrases will not surprise you one bit – if you get to the end of your life and can’t say these things about something then you either played too many video games or are Schrödinger’s cat (although in the case of the former I know a lot of World of Warcraft players who would invoke them). So why was I so shocked to read them?
They were all describing the woman’s 100-lb weight loss.
Now, I’m not saying that losing 100 pounds isn’t significant. It’s a huge accomplishment, life-changing, and frankly quite impressive, especially since she did it by giving up all flours, sugars, processed foods and anything else that she found addicting — cold turkey. She’s kept the weight off for over ten years.
But this is also a woman who was left by her father at a young age, had to take care of an alcoholic mother and was homeless for a large part of her childhood. And yet weight loss is the “hardest thing” she’s ever been through? At some point she had to decide whom to marry, what to major in and whether or not to cut ties with her dysfunctional mom. And yet deciding to go on her radical diet was the “most important decision” of her life? This incredible lady also earned two PhD.s in a field almost exclusively dominated by men at a very young age and has already made significant advances in her science. And yet losing weight and keeping it off is her “life’s work”?
Like I said, I’m not knocking her story at all. In fact, I believe her 100%. One one level, choosing to get healthy – and she was morbidly obese as a teen – would change everything else. You can’t conduct research very effectively if you’re having a heart attack or falling into a diabetic coma. But on another level, she lives in the same world where Jennifer Hudson said she was more proud of her weight loss than her Oscar. And then there’s this:
Over the past few days Tracy “tiny dancer” Anderson, who is famous first and foremost for being tiny and also for training Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna and others to be tiny through her time-intensive system of dance cardio and Pilates-esque strength moves, has garnered more attention for — what else? — deriding people who can’t lose weight. Specifically by calling out new moms who don’t lose their baby weight in 6 weeks like she did. In an interview with Du Jour magazine she said,
“A lot of women use pregnancy as an excuse to let their bodies go, and that’s the worst thing,” Anderson told DuJour magazine in their September issue, while revealing how she lost the weight within six weeks after having daughter, Penelope, in May.
“I’ve seen so many women who come to me right after (having children) with disaster bodies that have gone through hell, or they come to me years later and say, ‘Oh, my body is like this because I had three kids.’ “
See? There’s the superlative problem again – is gaining weight (even a lot of it) “letting their bodies go”? (Go where exactly? To the happy land where women don’t care about weight and can eat what they what?) And is gaining weight while pregnant (even a lot of it) really “the WORST thing”? The public outcry has been immense. New moms, a group who already largely feels attacked by everyone from their mother-in-law to their own hormones, understandably have been the most upset. And as a mom who’s body was basically declared a disaster zone after “going through hell” to birth five kids I can understand their anger. She’s one clueless woman but she’s only reiterating what we’re told all the time from so many sources: that the shape of your body defines you as a human being. That’s not new. It’s not news either. It’s just really sad.
I tried The Tracy Anderson method — controversial for her admonition that “no woman should ever lift more than 3 pounds” if she wants to build “long, lean muscles” — for a Great Fitness Experiment and was honestly surprised by how challenging it is. Three pounds may be the tiniest pinkest dumbbell you’ve ever seen but do 200 shoulder raises with them and you’ll want to gnaw your own shoulder off to stop the pain. Unfortunately to do the number of reps (200 is a favorite of hers) and sets she requires your workout can easily top three hours a day. What new mom has time for that? Celebrity moms, apparently. Sure we all have to do the same work to lose the weight – and I’m not denying Anderson works hard for her body – but to chastise someone who doesn’t have the same resources as you for not making the same decisions as you is just ridiculous.
The whole conversation reminded me of a recent interview I did for Shape with PJ James, the Australian personal trainer who became famous a few years ago for trading in his glamorous life as an underwear model to gain – and then lose – over half his body weight in an effort to better understand what his overweight clients were going through. Why would someone who is literally living the dream – he walked for Gucci and Armani! In his skivvies! – trade all that in to do something as mundane as gaining and losing weight? Because, as demonstrated by the scientist above, it’s one of the great narratives of our time. Dieting is a near-universal experience for first world people.
And as James told me, “Trainers should go to some degree to experience what their clients have. Go through the process, look in the mirror, feel that sense of shame: it forces you to think about how others feel.” He concluded by telling me his favorite word now is “empathy.” Me too, PJ.
Both Anderson and James started out in similar positions as members of the Pretty People Elite club and both now currently have careers helping other people with their health and fitness. But both have remarkably different vantage points which is why I think they’ve had hugely different results. Anderson is not only being publicly villified but also sued for making false claims and financial shenanigans. James is still working quietly as a trainer in Australia but boasts a 90% success rate with helping his clients achieve their goals. It takes a strong person to walk in someone else’s shoes instead of judging them.
What would you say about the magnitude given to the accomplishment of weight loss in our society? Is it truly the “hardest” “most difficult” and “best” thing a person can do in their life? What do you think about Anderson’s statement?
*For anyone interested in hearing more of PJ’s story, he’s out with a new docu Fat and Back about his experience.
UPDATE: Wow, I’m learning a lot from you guys! You definitely need to read the comments on this post because there is A LOT of factors that never even crossed my mind when I was writing this. A lot of commenters with really great perspectives today. Seriously, all my replies are basically, “Um, I hadn’t thought of it that way…” Thanks for taking the time educate me!
Ugh, this is something I’ve been thinking about a lot! For the first time in my life, I’m having a really hard time controlling my weight (I’m about to turn 29 – I’m guessing that’s part of it, but also have some medical stuff going on). And it shocks me how much the extra 10, ok, let’s be honest, 15 pounds is making me crazy. I’ve watched several friends be hospitalized or suffer major consequences from extreme eating disorders over the course of my life and promised myself that I’d never let my weight define me or take over. Any yet – I can’t seem to find my self confidence the same way these days. I know a lot of if it is the media, expectations for women, etc, but it has to be more than that. Honestly, part of it is that I can seem to watch a movie or TV show or go anywhere with my husband without having a woman with a “perfect” body walking around with the majority of her butt hanging out of her shorts or no shirt on (those are generally on TV). I’m not knocking women who are in great shape; I hope to be one of them again one of these days soon, I just think it would be nice people wore more clothes in general.
I can totally sympathize with this: “Any yet – I can’t seem to find my self confidence the same way these days.” We know we shouldn’t care. We even know it’s not good for us to care so much. And yet it’s so hard not to… ((hugs)) I hope your medical stuff gets resolved ASAP! And yes please to more clothes:)
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No one makes me as ragey as Tracy Anderson. She is an absolute idiot and should be ashamed of herself for what she promotes. She is the reason 99% of women are terrified of lifting weights. Check out the video of her in Tony Gentilcore’s blog from today:
http://www.tonygentilcore.com/blog/6-keys-to-a-successful-fitness-blog/
It’s guaranteed to give you a good laugh 🙂
Oh that was awesome!! Thank you for the giggle! (Also, loved his whole post – he’s dead on!)
Totally! She’s an idiot! NO CERTIFICATIONS! Absolutely NO trainer would ever tell you to not lift heavier than 3lb weights! WTF! My water bottle weighs more than that! Functional training at it’s worst!
I’m not the violent type but if I ever hear her talk like that in person I’ll bitch slap her! Shut up and let the people QUALIFIED to do exercise videos and personal training talk!
Is that a workout or a rave dance tutorial?
so funny what the guy looked like trying to complete the workout….and why is he all covered up? too funny
I am proud of getting healthy, but I would definitely say it has contributed to me being able to do many other things I am far more proud of. I wonder if it is because it is such a public obvious thing. I mean people don’t look at me and go – wow there’s a scientist who just completed an MSc. They more than likely say, hey – have you lost weight?
It’s maddening.
This: ” I mean people don’t look at me and go – wow there’s a scientist who just completed an MSc. They more than likely say, hey – have you lost weight?” is very astute. I’m sure this is part of it! (And congrats on the advanced degree girl! You rock!!!)
Oh, Tracy, Tracy, Tracy. I had a long foray into that CRAY world last summer and fall. I was all, “oh my GOD you guys, you’re all just wasting your time doing any and all other workouts. This is the GOSPEL, I just wish you all could see!” Did all her insane cardio dance routines even though they take hours to learn, all her incredibly boring “mat” workouts, and tried to get on board with the diet as much as I could. It all finally fell apart (gloriously) when I came down with a raging case of piriformis syndrome from the mat workouts and horrendous shin splints from the super high-impact dance cardio, even though I’ve always done plyo stuff and lots of running with no problem whatsoever.
The worst part of her method for me, though, was the batterer-like overtones of her ‘message’: don’t do any other workouts (don’t cheat on me); don’t ever go back to what you did before (no one will ever love you if you leave me); I am the answer to your problem if you just do the work (everything is your fault and within your control); yes, you’re miserable doing 3-hour a day workouts, but whose fault is that? (crazymaking). I will NEVER go back to her batterer-personal trainer-DV-like method. It left me with physical and emotional injuries I’m still trying to heal a year later.
I love everything about this comment. “The worst part of her method for me, though, was the batterer-like overtones of her ‘message’” So well said! And I’m so glad you escaped:)
It really annoys me that the focus is always on the shape/look of the body versus internal health. Looking good is great, but being thin doesn’t always equal healthy. I have so many friends that are in great external shape, but their insides need lots of help – high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc. In my humble opinion, losing weight should be an added bonus and not the main feature…if that makes sense.
Seems like you’ve got two different conversations going on her. Dissing the idiot trainer (not familiar with her, but just what a new mother needs to hear, how unworthy she is) and asking the question about weight loss described as the “hardest thing she’s ever done.” I can understand how you could say that. The woman was morbidly obese. Clearly she had issues beyond just overeating. So, she learned to stop using food as a sedative (and in order to do that, had to deal with major life issues), had to learn a new way of eating, probably had to learn physically what to do and then actually embrace exercise, and had to commit to the lengthy process to lose the weight. Finally, she has had the challenge to keep the weight off – which she’s done for an impressive 10 years. Does it mean it’s the “best” thing she’s ever done, the most noteworthy, etc.? Maybe not. But sure, I can believe it’s the hardest.
Yeah, the Tracy Anderson thing kinda hijacked the point of my post – sometimes I have so many thoughts swirling around in my brain they get a little jumbled! Sorry! And good point about it being the hardest thing she’s ever done. I suppose once you have a doctorate, you have it for life whereas maintaining a 100+ lb weight loss is a daily struggle.
I think losing weight can seem so much harder than other things because you don’t always get out what you put in…
By that I mean, if you invest in your marriage, your marriage gets better. If you work hard on a degree or research, you are rewarded with an advanced degree, a publication or an award.
But with weight loss….you may perfectly count your calories, measure your portions and still not loose weight or maybe you even gain weight. It’s incredibly frustrating because you’re doing everything right and not getting the rewards/benefits you should be getting.
On another note, that trainer(Tracy) is crazy. Why would women want to restrict themselves to lifting less than three pounds??? How does that translate AT ALL to the real world? there is very little that a woman will pick up/handle during an average day that weighs less than 3 pounds! My purse weighs more than 3 pounds for cripes sake!
This: “I think losing weight can seem so much harder than other things because you don’t always get out what you put in…” is an excellent point. I hadn’t thought of it that way! Very true. And yeah, Tracy Anderson isn’t known for her functional fitness…
Watching the magnitude given to weightloss in my own life, let alone the rest of the world, just makes me sad. Yeah, for me losing a bunch of weight was highly significant. Because it left me battling with anorexia for the rest of my life. Sure, I’ve successfully kept 50lbs off for 7 years but that’s because every few months I start to lose my mind and start cutting out foods again. Awesome. And I am far from the only one with this story. So many eating disorders are triggered by dieting. Yet anytime I see distant relatives they always praise me for how good I still look.
And honestly, I’m a bit annoyed by PJ James too. (Though not as much as Tracy Anderson!) I think has to be easier to lose weight that hasn’t been on your body for decades, especially when you gained it without emotional issues and already have the knowledge/training/resources on how to lose it. To claim he knows what people are going through seems wrong and really like a publicity stunt to me. Instead how about putting that time and energy into some kind of community service?
” To claim he knows what people are going through seems wrong and really like a publicity stunt to me. Instead how about putting that time and energy into some kind of community service?” Yeah, and he’s the first to admit it’s not an equivalent experience. I kind of went into the interview with the same thoughts about it being a publicity stunt but after talking to him, he seems really genuine. (Although maybe I’m easily snowed? Probably that too) FWIW he seemed to really want to help people — and he’s started a charity program for kids so I do think he’s trying to give back.
Also – my experience with my relatives sounds pretty similar to yours. Def. doesn’t help with recovery…
Nope, totally doesn’t!
That’s interesting about PJ James. I’m looking forward to reading the interview 🙂
I agree with the idea that losing and keeping off weight could be the hardest thing one’s ever done simply for the fact that it involves wading through so much emotional baggage to find any lasting success. It was my struggles with binge eating that led me to my psychologist and truthfully, we spend less than 1% of the time talking about food! I’m finally finding my relationship with food is changing, and I credit the hours I’ve spent on her couch finally dealing with issues that should have been handled years ago. Weight (too much or too little) is a symptom of other things wrong in your life. Taking control of your weight involves so much more than just portion sizes and workouts, so yes, I believe achieving and maintaining a healthy body is very logically the hardest thing some people have to go through. 🙂
I wish I could double-like this comment (what… we’re not Facebook??). This: ” for the fact that it involves wading through so much emotional baggage to find any lasting success” is such a good point. Thank you for your perspective – I hadn’t really considered this aspect of it!
@ Abby
Yeah, I’m with you, P.J. James isn’t so great, either. I mean, for one thing, the very concept of “fit to fat to fit” implies that “fit” and “fat” are opposites–that you can’t be both fit and fat at the same time. For another thing, losing weight would obviously be MUCH easier for a naturally thin person like James than for a naturally fat person. For him, it was just a matter of his body finding its way back to its natural equilibrium. For many of his clients, it’s trying to force their bodies into something they were never built to be. Not to mention, how he felt when he gained the weight doesn’t give him the genuine experience of what it’s like to be obese either, because…he put on almost 100 pounds in 4 months. Pretty much no one puts on the weight that quickly–I imagine he had major stamina and mobility problems simply because his body didn’t have the time to adapt to the weight that most people do. Plus, for a naturally thin person to gain THAT much weight THAT quickly, he would have had to resort to some seriously unhealthy means. And didn’t he stop training altogether while he was gaining the weight, too? So he arrived at his “fat” weight seriously out of shape and unhealthy, which is just not true of a lot of “real” (so to speak) obese people. Even those who are obese because they eat poorly and don’t exercise probably eat better than he did those four months. So all he would really have achieved was gaining a bunch of weight, being unhealthy and feeling like crap and, I’m assuming, extrapolating from that that his fat clients are unhealthy and feel like crap (not always true, I’m sure), and then taking the weight back off, and assuming that it’ll be as easy for them as it was for him. Wow, that rant was longer than I intended. lol
So many interesting points here that I hadn’t even considered! (I think the one thing I’m learning from reading these comments is how much I missed in this post… ) First, this: “the very concept of “fit to fat to fit” implies that “fit” and “fat” are opposites–that you can’t be both fit and fat at the same time.” Second, you also make a good point about the differences between his experiment and most people’s real-life experiences — although (and I should have noted this in my post) he is the first to admit the two aren’t equivalent. He freely admits that he won’t be able to say he perfectly understands his clients struggles but his project did give him a lot of perspective that I think many other trainers lack, at least to some extent.
Thank you for your perspective!!
Oh, Tracy Anderson. I genetically have long lean muscles and my sister genetically has short bulky muscles. I’m 5″7 and she’s 5″0. 3 lb weights won’t change what our mama’s gave us. Our dad, however, needs to work on sharing his gene pool
Losing weight IS hard. For me, college was easy. Study and do the work. My marriage is easy. I’m fair, honest, kind and love like I want to be loved (85% of the time, the rest of the times I’m a nutcase and my husband is a saint). But I STRUGGLE with these last 10 lbs!!! I can’t imagine how much harder it is to lose 100 lbs.
“Losing weight IS hard. For me, college was easy. ” – Thank you for sharing your personal experience! I imagine she probably is a lot like you in that intellectual things probably come very naturally to her whereas weight loss was something she really had to work at. I hadn’t thought of it this way either! Thank you!!!
@Emily, you describe her so perfectly! She IS, basically, an abuser! Punishing workouts 7 days a week, a diet that consists of approximately 500 calories/day, and if you deviate, you will be punished (with flabby arms and a saggy bottom, maybe, but also extreme humiliation and guilt that you’re not doing it “right” and she’s disappointed in you). I also tried one of her programs last year, and ended up returning it. I was in SO much pain, and I HATED working out! I normally LOVE my workouts! Yes, they’re challenging, but it’s hard to continue on a program if you dread it. Plus, doing the same exact workout every day is hardly healthy. And her form is often dangerous, putting A LOT of strain on the joints and lower back.
What scares me most is that she now has a daughter. What will she teach her? That her looks are the most important thing about her, that if she doesn’t look “perfect” it’s her fault for being lazy and eating crap food.
Oy.
OK, losing weight is HARD, but we’re way too caught up in what I call The Oprah Syndrome: A woman can be highly accomplished and help millions of people improve their lives, but if she doesn’t meet society’s standards for physical beauty, nothing she does matters quite as much. The first thing we always focus on is Oprah’s weight, right? And she does the same.
Don’t get me wrong: I’ve been struggling to lose some extra weight myself. (Funny thing is, the less I struggle the easier it comes off. Huh!) But it’s not the be-all, end-all of who I am. I’m still a good mom, a caring person, a talented actor/teacher, etc. I have 2 degrees, I’m smart, I’ve accomplished quite a bit in my lifetime so far. And you know what? When I put a little effort in (fixing my hair, slapping on some makeup), I look damn good, even with a little extra weight!
So many good points here too! First, I love your description of Anderson’s workout. I didn’t do her diet part although I did read it and I remember thinking it was insane – def. under 1000 cals/day. Second, I love your definition of “The Oprah Syndrome” this is SO TRUE. I’ve def been guilty of the same thought patterns myself…
I too can somewhat understand “the hardest thing I’ve ever done” because in my experience when life throws crap at you that you cannot change (i.e. homelessness, taking care of alcoholic parent in the author’s case) you get through it because you have no other choice. You can’t just decide to go live someone else’s life for a year or three, you have to live your own, so you just deal. But losing 100lbs is something you do have to choose every day. You *can* say, eh, I’m sick of this, I don’t wanna do it anymore. You’re making the choice to (at least somewhat) “suffer” and work extremely hard, and making that choice over and over must feel like an incredible act of self-discipline and achievement.
The less said about that Tracy Anderson woman, the better.
This: “because in my experience when life throws crap at you that you cannot change (i.e. homelessness, taking care of alcoholic parent in the author’s case) you get through it because you have no other choice. You can’t just decide to go live someone else’s life for a year or three, you have to live your own, so you just deal. But losing 100lbs is something you do have to choose every day. ” is yet another facet of this I hadn’t thought of! Excellent point. You guys are so smart!
Between January 2008 and September 2009, I lost ~145 pounds and maintained all but 10 pounds of that loss before getting pregnant this spring.
I don’t consider it the hardest thing I’ve ever done, or the most important.
Far harder—over that same time frame, I struggled with infertility and lost both of my parents … my mother when I was 34, my father less than two years later. I do credit a baseline level of physical health for helping me to cope with these aches and losses; at least, as well as I did.
In fact, compared to trying to get pregnant through infertility, weight loss was a snap. I ate less, I ate better, I exercised, and the scale moved. Yay! At the same time, I was charting, temping, timing “the deed” accordingly … and no dice. Watched so many women around me get pregnant, some more than once, a few accidentally, during the same time. If anything, I considered my weight loss a silver medal, a consolation prize, and not the gold medal I craved more deeply. But having that silver lining probably did help me stick with healthier habits, as did my belief that my infertility could be entirely blamed on my weight; therefore, every pound lost would bring me closer to getting pregnant. (Turned out I had endometriosis and poor egg quality; my weight didn’t matter much, if at all.) *
My parents, who both struggled with obesity and weight-related ailments (both diabetic, and my father died of a massive heart attack at age 65), were both effusive about my weight loss. I would rather be remembered for being smart, funny, a good wife, friend, and—in just 10 weeks’ time—mother.
I’m not a better person because I lost a lot of weight. If anything, I worry that I’m not as good. I work out about an hour a day, almost every day. I spend a lot of time planning and prepping meals and snacks. I go to bed ridiculously early for a grown-up, and I get up early. This leaves me less time for friends, less time to even read books, much less contemplate anything noble like volunteering.
Now that I have this little one on the way, I realize that my current MO for maintaining my weight loss will be unsustainable. I have to find the middle ground. On one hand, being a mother—one with a full-time job outside the home to boot—will take a lot of the time and energy that I’ve had the luxury of devoting to healthy living. On the other hand, I want to model good habits for my son. I want to be energetic enough to play with him, fast enough to run after him when he darts away, strong enough to carry him around. I want to dodge the genetic bullets of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and diabetes. Not to mention that I just plain feel better when I eat healthy food and move my body regularly. So while I have no intention of letting myself push the 300-pound mark again, I do accept that my postnatal “happy weight” may be a bit higher than the weight I was able to maintain before. If the tradeoff for that is precious time with my son and a more balanced life in general, that’s worth it.
* Since I’ve referenced both infertility and being pregnant now, let me just add that I’m an infertility cliché. We decided that we weren’t willing to seek aggressive, expensive treatment, so we let go of having a biological child and decided to focus on adopting or just being kick-butt surrogate aunt and uncle to the other kids in our lives. Fast forward a year; I went to the doctor with what I thought was food poisoning, to learn that I was 8 weeks pregnant!
Congratulations ! How inspiring your story is – and I love love love that the weight loss is the silver medal and not how you define yourself. Thank you for sharing.
Tracy Anderson makes me sad. Her recommendations are similar to my experiences with an eating disorder (eating very little, working out multiple hours a day 7 days a week, excessive focus on physical appearance rather than health). In fact, during certain periods of my ED, my eating habits were much more generous than she recommends, and I was severely underweight with a low heart rate. It is depressing to me that she can make such dangerous recommendations and people actually take her seriously. Not to mention, her quote about women’s bodies after birth disgusts me. She seems like a vile, judgemental person. You nailed it with this: “to chastise someone who doesn’t have the same resources as you for not making the same decisions as you is just ridiculous”.
I think other commenters have valid points about weight loss being an accomplishment, since it is such a struggle for some people and maybe other major accomplishments in their lives do come easier to them. However, I wish that people didn’t have to struggle so hard. I believe in the “health at every size” concept to a certain degree. I believe in embracing healthy habits. But counting every calorie and basically starving yourself while killing yourself in the gym, all to get down to a certain number on the arbitrary BMI scale, is not my idea of healthy. If someone who was not overweight was engaging in these behaviours, it would be clearly recognized as dangerous and a sign of an eating disorder. Yet when overweight people do this, they are praised? I think extreme dieting and exercise are just as dangerous for someone who is overweight. Anyway, that was a bit off topic, but I just wanted to point out that I think it is sad weight loss has to be the hardest struggle of anyone’s life…but I do understand that for many people it is.
Ok I’ve already touched on Ms Anderson but let me just say that women put women’s fitness back 50 years! The fact that we have women like her with ZERO knowledge and experience on how the human body actually works and performs advising others makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. As an aside did anyone else watch the video a commenter linked? Her expression throughout the whole video is kinda condescending like “try and copy this if you can” total attitude!
Anyways, I’ve been pretty fit all my life, just being active. Then we upped and moved COUNTRIES and I lost myself for about 6 years. Couldn’t work and had no family. Gained a few friends and gained a few lbs. As an ex-fitness professional (and again, now I can work again!) I suddenly woke up 7 years later and 30* lbs heavier, which on my 5’4″ small frame was quite a bit of “pudge”. Slowly the jeans I’d been wearing stopped fitting but I was in a different country with different sizing so it wasn’t as obvious. Dec2008 I went to the dr for my annual check up and got on the scale and was just horrified that I was topping the scale at my heaviest EVER. I was now classified overweight on the BMI scale (I hate that scale anyway!). I used to teach 6 fitness classes a day! Guess what happens when you eat the same/more but exercise less? I started my exercise/nutrition program the next day. Recertified as an instructor and personal trainer 6 months later and haven’t looked back.
In the last year my weight stayed the same (maybe 2-3lbs less) but my composition changed dramitically! I used to be like Tracy Anderson, skinny doing all the hi impact, low weight/high reps – with ZERO muscle! I got older, smarter and continued to learn (and still continue) and I get SMARTER about my workouts!
Was losing weight the hardest thing I ever did? Hell no! Was it a struggle, yes! Did it make me stronger (emotionally and physically) yes! But I’ve done way harder things. Like moving countries! If you aren’t challenging yourself you aren’t growing!
Crap that should say I lost all the extra weight (30lbs) and In the last year my weight stayed the same but body composition changed… multitasking FAIL!
I am not a fan of MS. Anderson.. just saying.. but if it works for a person & they like it, well,,, who am I to say but get to 55 & then come talk to me! 😉
As for losing weight being the hardest thing in life – me – NO! Losing my loved ones – that has been the biggest & most difficult things to me & especially since I had to watch it & it was to early for them. I think there are much harder things in life – personally – but just me…
I think we place more value on the things we work hardest for. I’ve cut my own body fat percentage in half, but I’m not all that proud of it because I didn’t work all that hard for it. I just did a little bit here and there. Some years later I was much leaner.
Now If I can ever learn to finally finish my first ebook, now that’s going to be cause for champagne!
“that the shape of your body defines you as a human being. That’s not new. It’s not news either. It’s just really sad.” <===== This. This is so true and yes really sad. Really sad.
Tracy Anderson…ugh. I can't say anything about her that hasn't been said.
The trainer guy? I wasn't impressed. In fact, if I was overweight I would find him very insulting.
Losing weight (I lost about 40 pounds give or take but have put about 10 or so back on since we started traveling) wasn't the hardest thing I've ever done. Losing the weight was pretty easy. I moved more, lifted heavy, and ate real food. It was wanting…really wanting to lose weight…the decision that was hard. Once I made up my mind that it was worth the effort, the physical part was pretty easy. I admire people who lose weight in a healthy way not for their outer transformation but for the mental transformation behind it. Oh and that's another thing about that trainer…he already knew/had done the hard part…the mental part. IMO, it was just a physical thing for him.
I think for some people the “weight loss” is not the most important thing, but learning WHY they eat what they do is the most important thing. They might not realize this or express it in the right way.
I lost 30 lbs last year, then got pregnant gained 40 lbs, at 4 months post delivery I have lost 30, I’m not too worried about the last 10, because I know what I need to do. (Sorry Tracy, but I’ve given myself 8 more months) Since I lost the weight already, I have tons of confidence that I can achieve this goal. I think what PJ did was probably not that hard because he knew how to do it and had this confidence too, but I appreciate his effort and I do think that it helps him relate to his clients better.
For me weight loss was not the hardest thing I ever did. Putting my son to sleep tonight might top the list, I had to leave and let dad do it.
Seriously, I find people that are really thin and fit not as comforting to me. I feel like I’m in a competition with them and I end up the loser. Or else they come across judgemental, or too “me” focused.
To me, I would take a sweet lovable Aunt Bea or even a lovely Angela Lansbury over a super fit, hard bodied woman and man any day….someone who is loving, caring and not always thinking about her self, her diet, her weight and her workout routine constantly.
Also, I think getting advanced degrees and being “smart” are admirable, but I love the salt of the earth folk who work hard and love their neighbor. Those are my heroes! I think they should be applauded as much as the “smart” person.
I agree with you that it is a shame more focus is on the weigh loss then the higher learning and amazing career achievements. That being said when I used to be a lawyer I loved to watch the senior lawyers advocating in court. Almost all of them were heavily over weight, smokers, drinkers and work aholics. I used to wonder how such an intelligent, successful group of people could neglect their health so much. Not because I wanted them all to have the ‘body beautiful’, but they were the epitome of ill health.
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Well, losing weight is not the hardest thing I’ve ever done (I lost 28 lbs in Weight Watchers almost ten years ago). I gained the weight back and would like to lose it again – but I’ve come to the conclusion that weight is not just some isolated part of my life I can control on a whim regardless of what else is going on in my life.
If my life sucks, there is no way I’m able to lose weight (unless I’m so upset I completely lose my appetite).
I hadn’t heard of Tracy Anderson…
The idea that one’s weightloss is more important than one’s other accomplishments (Hello, Jennifer Hudson) drives me NUTS! NUTS, I tell you…
But, here’s the tricky thing about weight loss beyond all that. You can do all the right things – eat well, exercise, and all the not so right things – restrict, overexercise etc…and still not lose weight. There are also times when people lose weight easily without “trying”. There is so much chance involved with weight loss that to link your self worth to it is setting yourself up for a lot of misery down the road. I’m not trying to imply that eating well and exercising don’t matter – they do for optimum health, which I think we all know does not equal weight loss.
Of course she’s a bitch – We all get grumpy when we’re hungry & she’s basically been living with anorexia for years. Telling people to eat so little and work out for so long is no different to a pro-ana website, what’s sad is that she’s allowed to do it with an illusion of authority & that people listen.
I definitely do not think that weight loss is the hardest thing that myself, or many people, have gone through. Heck, I’d say securing my mortgage was harder than losing 100 lbs. 🙂
Though I will agree to one part, I do think it is one of the more important accomplishments one can achieve, mainly because of the health benefits to losing weight. But again, not the MOST important. Having children and raising them to be wonderful and successful people is up there on my “to do” list, and I’d put it’s importance above losing weight.
Before I became a Personal Trainer I had been carrying around about 20 kilos of excess baggage for about 3 years. That history definitely provided me with valuable experience that allowed me to better hone my training skills and cater for my future clients.
Whether PJ’s experience was done out of pure altruism or as a publicity stunt doesn’t concern me. Good on him either way. Australia’s overwhelmed with PT’s so you have to do whatever you can (legally and ethically) to stay ahead of the pack.
I don’t think however that it was necessary or would have given PJ a whole new level of understanding. Not unless he held on to that weight for years and then tried to ‘bounce back.’ Body builders bulk up all the time before stripping pre-contest. It’s not new.
It’s not a pre-requisite for a firefighter to have been an arsonist.
With that said though, I now train Trainers (I own a school in fitness certification) and some of my best students are the ones who have ‘been there, done that’.
Is losing excess fat (I prefer the term fat loss as opposed to weight-loss) hard? It can be. Can it also be fun and even addictive at times? Yes if done right. That makes it a whole lot less of a painful experience than many other things we go through (death and taxes for example:)
Oh, and women should definitely hit heavy weight. That’s the best way to build lean muscle mass. I don’t know those ladies you’re speaking of (the celebrity trainers) but if you’re correct in their ethos, they’re fools.
Well, clearly weight loss is something that I talk about a bit on my blog 😀
But truly, I wish I didn’t have to. I wish it didn’t prey on my mind (or on other’s) as much as it does. I agree with JJ – “losing and keeping off weight could be the hardest thing one’s ever done simply for the fact that it involves wading through so much emotional baggage to find any lasting success”. I feel my journey with weight loss is more about finding, trusting and loving myself.
Of course people need to be healthy – it’s the basis of Maslow’s heirarchy of needs – and anyone who’s ever been sick will tell you, you can’t do anything without health.
But the perfect, fit body is NOT the end goal. The end goal is to contribute to the world, to ease suffering, to love, and to be of service. That should be our life’s work.
So on another board that I read but don’t post, someone asked the question (not necessarily in relation to weight loss, but including weight loss and maintenace) .. what is the hardest thing you’ve ever done? In the original post she said that losing weight was NOT the hardest thing she’d ever done.
A few more people chimed in and said that maybe the amount of weight you’d had to lose made a difference and one woman said that for her losing 100+ lbs was as hard or harder than watching her father die. Another woman responded: “I don’t understand how weight maintenance can be as hard as watching a loved one die. Sorry, I don’t get it. Something is wrong with that picture, at least for me.”
I don’t know why but that response made me angry. Like .. viscerally, brutally angry. And it really shocked me at how angry it made me feel, and I had to figure out why.
Here’s the thing: My parents dying .. that’s something that happened to me. It was hard, of course. My mom died suddenly and it was a shock and hard to deal with. My dad had a long drawn out death and never wanted to see me and died w/out me there (his step-daughter was the one who held his hand and said good-bye). Both of those things were hard. They were painful, each in different ways. They hurt a lot. But those things are also, in many ways, nomal. Parents die first. Children have to deal with that. I won’t say that I didn’t struggle with my parents’ deaths … but I’ve always known that it was something that was part of the natural order of things. Parents die and children go on. And those things happened .. they weren’t things I caused or chose.
But from the perspective of things I’ve done .. of choices I’ve made … losing 100 lbs has, absolutely been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Hell, I’ve gained back 25 of those pounds and I’m struggling to lose them again. But I did that. I chose that. I made those things happen .. and they were brutally hard.
I still can’t really explain why the response that the one person made was so hurtful and made me so angry. I just feel that it seems to demean a lifetime struggle that I’ve had with ME. Something that wasn’t .. normal. Something that isn’t the way the world is supposed to work. People die .. that’s normal. It’s sad and it’s hard, but it’s normal. Having to fight with every breath and movement and instinct to be healthy .. that’s NOT normal. It shouldn’t be this hard.
Getting my degree was hard, yes. But it’s something that a lot of people do despite really tough struggles. Getting through my divorce was hard, yes, totally, but it’s something that involved more than one person and eventually it was something that I dealt with and moved on.
But losing weight? It has no boundaries. It has no beginning and no end. It has no cause or example. It’s not something that others understand or sympathize with (for the most part).
I dunno. I am having a hard time with this and I’m not sure I’m explaining it right. But I ‘m still struggling with this tonight. I’m still angry and feel that the other poster has totally demeaned my effort and struggle. Bah
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