Sarah Jessica Parker is the next step in evolution. Girlfriend recently confessed in an interview that her secret power is creating new bones. Like, inside herself and not in the form of a baby, dermoid cyst or alien experimentation! How’d did she get this magical talent? By murdering her feet with high heels. Naturally. Anyone who’s watched any fantasy movies knows that magic always comes with a price! “You don’t get something for nothing, dearie!” And in this case, her messed up bone structure in her feet comes courtesy of her ten years playing Mahnolo-obsessed Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. (Confession: I’ve never seen that show. Not even once. And yet I know all the characters’ names! Well, especially Charlotte’s. That one just sticks in my mind for some reason. So pretty!)
Sarah explained to Net-a-Porter,
“For ten or so years, I literally ran in heels. I worked 18-hour days and never took them off. I wore beautiful shoes, some better made than others, and never complained.”
“I went to a foot doctor and he said, ‘Your foot does things it shouldn’t be able to do. That bone there … you’ve created that bone. It doesn’t belong there.'”
“The moral of the story is, the chickens are coming home to roost. It’s sad, because my feet took me all over the world, but eventually they were like, ‘You know what, we’re really tired, can you just stop – and don’t put cheap shoes on us?’
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah! The moral of the story has nothing to do with chickens, honey! (Although it would be awesome if it did because the husband and I are dying to try our hand at chicken-raising!) No, the moral of this story is that sometimes we will go to extreme lengths to continue doing something we love, even when it’s hurting us. I relate to SJP, frankly. I am also a girl who loves heels and tutus. And some more heels.
Remember these?
Or these?
Or these?
And especially these?
See. This is what I’m saying. I own a lot of heels and a lot of athletic shoes and pretty much nothing in between. (Flip flops are for the pool, people!) Up until recently my dual loves have not conflicted. That is until I got plantar fasciitis back in December. My first problem: I’m not even sure it is plantar fasciitis anymore. It comes and goes at the weirdest times, never hurts in the morning, only hurts on my heel and doesn’t feel better in shoes or taped. Any other ideas for me?? Second problem: The physical therapist I saw about it, who really helped with the pain, told me I shouldn’t be wearing any shoe with a heel on it.
“Like… how much of a heel?” I asked as I pulled on my knee high black studded boots. The ones with three inch heels.
“Well those are bad,” he said pointedly. But it was snowing and I couldn’t very well hobble out to my car in my socks so I zipped them up. “No heels at all,” he continued.
“Until when?” I gasped. NONE of my dresses look good with flats I tell you!
“Ideally never. Those things are awful for your feet.” Then he saw the crushed look on my face. “At least don’t wear them until the pain is all healed?”
I have not been a good girl. While I stick to bare feet or athletic shoes (or snow boots) during the week, on Sundays when I get dolled up for church I’ve been sneaking on some heels. It’s only three hours! But, predictably, my pain is not getting better and is worse on Mondays. Lesson learned.
But that’s not the only shoe lesson I learned lately! And this one you’re going to love! (If just for the entertainment factor alone…)
Months ago, I saw a girl at the gym wearing the cutest athletic shoes I’ve ever seen in my life. They were white glow-in-the-dark sneaks with rainbow confetti sprinkles on them and crazy patterns on the plastic parts. It basically looked as if a unicorn had vomited all over her feet. I had to have them. But when I went online to find the Asics Gel Noosas they were completely sold out on every site. In every color. In every size. So I checked eBay. $225!! For a pair of shoes that retailed for half that. Apparently I wasn’t the only one in love. But my love is cheap so I passed.
In the meantime I’ve bided my time, hoarded my shoe coupons and waited for them to come back in stock. Finally, fed up with my bad luck, on a whim I checked out the kid’s section. And of course they were in stock! Kids have terrible taste! I should know, I have four of them! Who all dress like hobos!
But I definitely do not have child-sized feet. I wear an 8 or 8.5 in athletic shoes (7.5 in heels just in case someone missed my birthday) which is, I believe, the average shoe size for women. Still, I slipped my foot onto one of the kid size measuring tapes and discovered that apparently tween girls have huge feet! Hormones for the win! I bought a pair for $60 and have been having a shoe honeymoon ever since. It almost makes up for the loss of my high heels. And as far as I can tell there are no differences between the adult shoe and the child shoe other than the price tag.
So I decided to write a post about how you should all try and wear children’s shoes now because it’s so much more frugal but I got a little carried away. At first it was just cheesy posing in the gym (with grandmas in parkas and sweat bands exercising in the background so you can appreciate the ambiance of my Y.)
Look how cuuuute the Lisa Frank rainbow laces are! But then I decided that I needed to show you what the bottoms of the shoes look like. Could I just hold the shoe out and show you? No, of course not! First I tried this:
You see it?? It even matches the glow-in-the-dark hair tie I’m wearing!
Speaking of glow-in-the-dark, Allison didn’t believe me that the outside strips glow and so I set about trying to prove it to her. It was like trying to kiss the outside of your elbow. It was an even funnier picture with her trying to see too. Sadly there wasn’t a third Gym Buddy to photograph that awesomeness.
But now that Allison had seen me stick one leg behind my head she double-dog dared me that I couldn’t do two. Of course I can’t get both legs behind my head. Didn’t stop me from trying!
Almost got it! And then this happened:
Bonus: my skirt flipped up and that combined with Allison’s unmerciful camera angle make this my biggest butt shot ever! You’re welcome! I tried this half a dozen times, falling over every single one, until Allison (always trying to help me out, that girl) had the brilliant idea to back up against the wall so I couldn’t tip over.
Voilà!
And then I decided I should just keep it simple and show you a picture of the shoe and leave out the shenanigans. So… yeah.
Anyone else ever been injured by an article of clothing? Have any advice for me? What’s the strangest thing you fell in love at first sight with and had to have? And seriously – what’s up with the growing a new bone thing, is that legit? And if so, why have we not harnessed these powers for good??
I love those shoes – I’ve never thought to check the kids section. I might have to try it since I love the sparkly things that are marketed towards children !
I’ve never worn high heels (broken neck) so don’t really understand the whole concept 🙂
The only article of clothing that I get hurt by is bras. I seriously want to know which sadist came up with super-skinny straps on bras. It’s probably fine for the smaller cups but after a couple of hours with E cup weight being supported by something that begins to feel like fishing wire I’m in serious pain. I haven’t been able to find any bras in the past couple of years with decent width straps on them. I’m really hoping this fashion dies soon !
I totally agree with you. Skinny straps works for anyone B-cup and below, but not the rest of us. Considering C-cup is the average in North America you’d think the manufacturers would learn…
I’ve been wearing nothing but sports bras for daily life for the last two years, since I can’t find one supportive bra that fits me and has the wider straps. I can’t wear any of my fancy clothes! So frustrating!
I seriously hate heels. As a 5’9″ klutz I’m already too far from the ground when I fall over. Which happens way more than it should! Plus my fiancé is only a tiny bit taller than me. There are some really cute flats though these days! I’m so glad shoe manufacturers have realized that some girls like cute shoes without the pain and maiming. Because that’s just horrifying. I think you should listen to your PT. You might be surprised how good your dresses look once you get used to it and think about what you’d tell your daughter if she wanted to do something that could seriously hurt her just for how it looked. Definitely not worth it! Same thing I said to my future mother-in-law when she was mourning the loss of her heels post-knee surgery. (Though if I wore her tiny size I might make an exception to the no heels rule. Woman has some nice shoes!)
Sad thing is, I’ve been hurt by flip flops. They’re not just for the pool when you live in CA! And then you go and kick a rock… I also regularly hurt myself with my sports bras (they feel so nice on nipples!) and my jackets when I zip my long hair in them. I’ve also given myself bruises under the arm with a too-small bridesmaid dress. See what I mean about not needing heels?!
I actually have really small feet and I wear kids shoes all the time! They are so much cheaper!
My husband had a similar issue with his heel, and turned out it was a bruise of the fat pad on the bottom of his heel from impact in sports. He wore heel cushions for a while and it enventually healed…heeled?!? Hehe. That might work for you 🙂
*SHOPPING ALERT* You can get the rainbow laces at Walmart! I bought two pairs; I think they were $2.99 a pair. They look lovely on my purple Converse, and I’m saving the other pair for emergencies.
I’m women’s size 9 and I’m afraid the kid’s shoes just aren’t made big enough. (I’ve tried.) It is the equivalent of men’s size 7, but you generally don’t find unicorn barf shoes in the men’s section, either.
Could you possibly have a heal spur?
I remember reading somewhere that 90% of foot surgeries in this country are performed on women. I wear flat shoes almost exclusively, even those goofy Vibram toe shoes. But. . . to be honest. . . I bought a kickass pair of high heeled granny boots from Dansko a little while ago. My first heels in many years. Had to have them. And they look great!
I love heels!!!
Really all I can say today is I wish that I worked out at the same gym as you and your gym buddies!!! (I think I might like to be a gym buddy – y’all always seem to have a great time at the gym!)
About 20 years ago I had a Morton’s Neuroma removed from my left foot…no more pointed shoes or high heels. Recently, I’ve had to deal with plantar fasciitis and was told no flip flops or flat sandals without decent arch support. That leaves very little to choose from! And what shoes you can wear really affects how you dress.
I feel your pain with the whole high heel thing! After my umpteenth injury (too many years ago to reveal) I developed horrible lower back pain caused by degenerating discs injured from 1 too many falls, so high heels went away a long time ago. Its precisely why I have learned to love my ballet flats 🙂 The best I can do now is a 1/2 inch kitten heel…which, btw, are impossible to find. But the ballet flats come in a myriad of colors and styles, and as long as they do not reveal toe cleavage, I can satisfy my love of shoes and not hurt! Its a win-win 😉
I don’t have anything to say about shoes… but CHICKENS! Yes! Go get some. We’ve always raised chickens for eggs and it’s so easy and fun. You don’t necessarily have to have a rooster if you’re worried about the noise; and if you give your neighbors extra eggs, they won’t complain.
I love chickens so much! We have a bunch of really rare breeds (breed conservation!!) and they’re so beautiful! And stupid! We never tire of watching them! Go to http://www.mcmurrayhatchery.com/index.html right now and split an order with your friends. Make them have chickens too. Do it right now!
Rhode Island Reds do really well in Minnesota.
Chickens!!
Those are pretty awesome-sauce. Did you get in a time machine and arrive in the early 90s to wear those? I’m pretty sure they are made out of the background my school pictures were taken in front of. 😉
**Not wear, I meant to type BUY those. 🙂 Love you! I love anyone who can pull something off like those shoes … this coming from the quiet girl who put a streak of awesome purple in my hair! (And it’s the best.decision.ever.made.)
We would totally be friends. I have about 20 pairs of running shoes and about 30 pairs of heels (most 5+ inches) and absolutely nothing in-between. I mean I only wear them for about 3 hours a week, and I’m sitting down for most of it. And when I’m playing the organ or the piano (which is about a half hour of the three) I take them off entirely. I’ve even worn them the day after a marathon. The day after I rolled my ankle. The day after I birthed my child (okay, that one is a lie). I am addicted.
I used to buy my running shoes in kids because they were so much cheaper, but then I switched to a shoe I like better but unfortunately isn’t made in childrens sizes.
I LOVE those shoes. I have a thing for neon (I never lost my early 90s neon love much to the amusement of everyone around me) and those look fabulous. I have small feet so I’ll have to check out the kids sizes…never even considered that! 🙂
As for heels…I am not a fan. I can’t walk in them very well and tend to fall and hurt myself. My feet are smallish and I have flat arches and pronate so if you put me up on heels they ache within an hour or so. The highest I’ll go comfortably is about an inch or so…I’m happiest in funky Doc Marten boots or mary jane flats 🙂
Shoes…shoes… My feet were destoyed early one by too small skates, yes, didn’t have enough money to buy a bigger pair in high school after my feet grew (good skates were really expensive).
I can’t wear flats , at least cute ones, with very few exceptions, tey hurt me more than heels (back of heal, top of toe, protruding side of toe, etc. ) I have Fred Flinstone feet. Though small. I could wear size 4 kid shoes, jsut not sure of support (I’m a women’s 6). My issue with heels: “stiff big toe”, that is really te diagnosis (Hallux rigidis). Can’t win.
I live in Cali now and I don’t know why people here love to wear flip flops…to work too! They hurt and aren’t comfrotable, and are definitely distracting. Some of my friends buy “cute ones” to make their outfit, but I don’t think make an outfit…just my opinion.
Oh, I forgot to agree with the numerous commetns about bras, but for me, also shorts and skirts…oh, the chafing !
Re: the foot thing. I thought I was getting PF because the pain feels the exact same, but it’s not in the morning. It’s after I work out and then cool down. I’ll get home from the gym, plant my butt on the couch, and then when I get up again a gremlin inside my foot stabs me and I hobble around. My foot even rolls way out. Went to PT, he thinks I’ve injured the big toe flexor muscle near my heel, which is why the pain feels similar to PF. I’m being good and wearing arch support and getting horrible painful massages on it.
I’ve given up on heels. I used to wear them all the time, but since I got a job downtown that involves stairs and public transportation I’ve embraced the ballet flat. Plus, when I wore heels, I was still doing ballet and figure skating, so my feet were used to tight constricting torture devices. Now they are used to cushy running shoes. Oops.
I actually do have child sized feet – I can wear a girls size 3 or 4. My rubber boots came from the kids section because they were bright blue and cheaper the patterned ones in the adult section.
That said, I can’t wear cheap shoes (once upon a time I could, but no longer), so I don’t generally shoe shop in the children’s section. Had not really thought that the sneakers might be fine though.
I have a shoe habit. I love pretty shoes. But these days I try to find shoes that are both pretty and feel good on my feet. Which pretty much means no stilettos, but I have not entirely given up heels. 🙂
I have little feet so the one time i had trouble finding hiking boots in the women’s section, i checked the kids section. I found the perfect pair of boys boots and they were sooo cheap too!!
Huh, I have the same kind of heel pain. I can’t blame it on high heels because I don’t wear them. I do wonder if it’s b/c I wear UGG knock-offs around the house. I’ve read that they just about zero arch support and shouldn’t be worn for long periods of time.
I don’t think I’ve ever been injured by apparel unless you count some really bad muscle spasms from trying to get into or out of too tight dresses.
I wore heels ALL the time in college. I was on a swing dance team and danced in heels, went to class in heels, ran for the bus in heels, worked in heels. Then I married my husband, who baffled me (I thought all men thought women in heels were uber sexy) by telling me I needed to stop wearing them or at least cut it down to twice a week. While I was crushed for a time, I now am a convert and wear athletic shoes almost all the time. I have less back pain, knee pain, foot pain, and I actually have way better abs since I am not hyper extending my poor lower back all the time. Go figure.
I am also blessed with tiny feet and made my first foray into the kids section recently with shiny blue Air Jordans for racquetball. Score.
Almost all my shoes are from the children’s section. My feet are unreasonably wide for their length, and little boys’ shoes are always, always wider than women’s in the same size. Of course, that means no heels, but that’s okay because a) they hurt and b) I love being tiny and short and have no desire to look any taller.
Ee! I’ve been craving some new shoes lately. Hm. It looks like the internets are telling me to buy a sparkly sparkly new pair! I LOVE THOSE SHOES. And your description of them. Haha.
I should shop in juniors’ sections more–I wear a size 7 womens, aka a size 5 kids, which means they should fit 😡
My chiropractor told me that it was important To keep your feet adjusted it greatly affects your back. I have no idea that your feet was really important for back Stability.
It’s all about balance, Your back adjust to how your feet touch the floor.
The beauty of having a husband who is a little shorter than I am is that there’s no pressure to wear heels at all. Combine that with a job in publishing where we hardly ever dress up, and my heels are sadly neglected. Even when I do wear them, they’re more likely to be low heels than high ones – my feet hate high heels and I’m okay with that.
I do have one pair of GORGEOUS red stilettos that I have never worn. They were purchased knowing that they would be display shoes – in fact, I had them on my bookshelf for a few years. They were too gorgeous not to buy but too high for me to actually wear!
The Boy has tiny feet and buys kids running shoes – so much cheaper! In Australia, the kids version can be up to 50% cheaper than the adult one.
I used to only wear heels. And I used to consider working out in those platform sketchers from the late 90s. Then, I started running. And my tolerance for uncomfortable shoes went almost to nil. Even my nice heels are something like Aerosoles and those are about 3 hours of shelf life. I LOVE LOVE LOVE those high heeled shoes but I love sport more (and I’ve developed some heel issues lately so my shoes have gotten even more boring).
My sister recently had surgery for plantar fasciitis, but I don’t recall that she’s ever been much of a heel wearer. I know it’s really fashionable, but the level of discomfort that some go through just really doesn’t make any sense.
Oh I would love to wear kids running shoes. I have see some cute ones with sparkling 70’s groovy designs and also sunflowers. Unfortunately I’m a 10EEE so I have a hard time finding any shoe that fits at all. I am really tempted to see if you can get shoes made at some ridiculous price. I did that for my bike shoes and they are amazing. I learned from that experience that my feet are actually two completely different sizes.
LOVE those sneakers!!! As for real shoes, honestly, my feet have been bad for so long & too wide with bunions that I wish I could just wear a pair of heels to look pretty in a dress. 🙂
Your pics were hilarious!
Injured by an article of clothing . . . so you see, this one time, I was in this kick @ss boot skirt and awesome stiletto boots. And I might have been carrying my lunch back to my desk and gotten on the escalator. And that boot skirt might have gotten caught in the very same escalator. And another equally panicked woman that couldn’t find the shut off button for the esclator put her food on the special moving stairs and helped me tug and pull on it until we got to the bottom at which point she was going to shove it down to my ankles so I could “jump” out and run to Ann Taylor for the impending wardrobe 911.
I’ve never been so grateful for a random stranger’s kindness and so grateful that I’m sorta old school and still wear slips. And thankful that a little bit of dance background prepared me for the skirt exodus while wearing the high heels with more grace than anyone could muster. Only to find out as I was standing there panting and getting ready to run that the escalator pushed my skirt out at the bottom, no longer entangled, I was simply a woman standing in her slip and boots in the middle of downtown Minneapolis. With only my pride hurt I guess.
Just another one of the crazy people.
Of course there was the time a random stranger slid candy under my dressing room door while I was trying on bras and apparently verbalizing my displeasure. That’s right. Mambas. . . Again, not physically hurt, but psychologically . . . the crazy people. I’m one of them or I’m with them.
I’m 5’9″, klutzy, and married to a man who is 5’5″. I also have very narrow, long feet (size 10). My friend tells me I’d be less klutzy if my feet were wider, and she may have a point!
There’s also the fact that, since moving to California, I now spend at least 85% of my time in sandals, flip-flops, Keens, or some kind of slip-on shoe.
I just cannot walk in heels. Never learned the art. Oh sure, 3 inches I can handle, if we’re going somewhere REALLY fancy. But that doesn’t happen often. Anything higher and I’m in trouble.
As for clothes trying to kill me, I KNOW there have been some instances, but my brain has gone into self-protection mode and won’t let me remember. The only one I can think of is the dreaded unexpected onset of my cycle while wearing cream-colored pants. Pants I never wore again.
I am a huge fan of heels but for anything more than walking from the car to the restaurant and back I try to stick with wedge heels, they’re more comfortable for me than flats actually because of arch support
Love these! I’m also an asics fan and in the market for a new pair..Hmm maybe I should check out the childrens range for something cheaper- as long as they have the same support.
Regarding getting non-women’s shoes: preach!
Seriously. I have a bigger shoe size (9.5/10), so I buy men’s athletics shoes. Not only can I get shoes without pink plastered all over them, they are also cheaper.
For your plantar faciitis, I highly recommend Orthaheel shoes (sorry, no heels on them, just heel in the name). They are amazing. I have the slippers for at home and mary janes for work, and they have eliminated much of my knee/hip pain. I know they aren’t the sexiest looking shoes on the planet, but they are comfy and I can actually walk and climb stairs during the work day while most of my well-heeled coworkers cannot. I’m taking care of my feet now so I’m not paying for it down the road.
What a deal. I wonder how many people will be able to start shopping in the kids section.
Score on the kid’s shoes! I don’t wear heels, never have, just wasn’t willing to go there, they always struck me as a sadistic way to mess up my feet. OK, a very low heel under duress (occasional weddings). And yet… thanks to my skating boots, I exercise in heels! How un-ergonomic is that, the only sport where you have to jump and land in a heeled boot? I try really hard to have skates that won’t hurt my feet (custom boots, punched out around the little toes) yet they still try to do bad things to my feet. So I live in sandals or sneakers as much as possible the rest of the time.
I do belive the issue with the shoes is in the desing, they could have high heels and still not cause pain or hurt your feet, but this is very rare. For some reason almost all brands make “killer” shoes. Why not add padding? Why not make them wider for bigger numbers, not just longer?
I try to avoid high heels like the plague. If one has to be uncomfortable to look good, something is wrong. Never thought about buying teenagers shoes though. Sounds like a an intriguing idea.
I love Sarah Jessica Parker. She is my idol and I share her love for shoes. Shoes is my passion and I cannot go over a shop of shoes without getting in and buying a pair.
That colorful pair of shoes looks really adorable 🙂 I’d like to have one too… I’m not into high heels; I have tried to wear with 2 inches and it really hurt my feet plus I can’t walk comfortably. Thanks, you gave me an idea what to buy and where section to explore at next time.
I GIGGLE I have a sneaker review coming soon—and my sneaker were KIDS SHOES.
The most unexpected change that I saw in myself after getting married: I just wasn’t as into heels as I used to be. In my single’s ward days 5″ heels were pretty standard fare on any given Sunday and I had quite the impressive collection. I should have realized I had a problem, I mean most of my shoes literally come from a stripper clothing supply website (I’d be happy to give you the web address if you want it ;p). But after I got married I’d get ready for church and I’d see all my cute heels but for some reason my one pair of flats just seemed to win out each week. I still love heels and envy them on other people but I don’t wear them so much anymore. Maybe it has something to do with spending 5+ hours at church these days instead of 3…
On a side note – You should totally get chickens! We had them when I was growing up and then my sisters and I got them again right before I moved out. Loved it. It’s a great learning opportunity for your kids, they’ll see where their food comes from, learn to work and most likely will learn first hand that all things die. And fresh eggs – all year round! Best part is, you can be 100% positive that your eggs don’t carry salmonella so YOU CAN EAT ALL THE RAW COOKIE DOUGH YOU WANT! Can’t beat that. DO IT DO IT DO IT!
Hi
I try to keep fit and flexible but if I tried putting my feet behind my head like that I would be layed up with severe muscle pain for about a week. Why do people wear shoes that make the feet hurt I know I am male but makes no sense tome.
Great suff lee
Sarah Jessica Parker has a great dress sense! She seems to pull of everything! As for heels, they are the best thing a man could have invented! I think there is a time for heels and a time for comfortable shoes either way you can not go wrong with shoes! A girl can never have enough Shoes! Shoes! Shoes!
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Those shoes are amazing. I had a crush on them, buuuut my plantar fasciitis is so severe that I can only wear the absolute most supportive of shoes. On that note….please be careful with your wonderful feet!
I thought my PF had gone away, but it turned out that I had just gotten used to the pain. One day on the elliptical I felt a sudden pain, more intense than I’d ever felt before. My plantar fascia had given in and just torn partway through itself from too much constant, unyielding pressure. Also, I’ve permanently deformed the bones in my feet because of how much pressure was going on down there (my plantar fascia were that tight). I don’t know if that’s the kind of thing SJP’s dr meant when he said she grew new bones, but I do know that in the real world that can land you in surgery.
You and I have similar histories in terms of body image + exercise issues, and tearing a part of the inside of my body was where it led me. Now I can’t even wear most flats, and I can never be barefoot. So while I totally get wanting to wear your heels anyway, please take it from me that it is sometimes NOT worth it. You’re just so fabulous, and I would hate if what happened to me happened to anyone else (especially someone whose blog I adore so much). Give your feet a hug for me and I hope they stay strong and healthy!
– Becky
Hi Becky! Thank you so much for the advice and the kind way you delivered it:) Since I posted this I’ve been much more careful to take care of my feet and thankfully haven’t had any more pain in my feet. (Stretching my calves has helped a lot!) I’ll definitely keep this in mind though as I don’t want to do permanent damage! No shoes are cute enough for that.
Thanks, Charlotte! I’m so glad things have improved a bit. A world in which the unicorn vomit sneakers had to stay unworn in the closet would be a sad world indeed.
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THEY ARE OK!. Yes, Now My Feet Can Go Naked!