Anyone else seriously freaked out these t-shirts come in children’s sizes?? At least the girl on the left has enough sense to show her disapproval.
Amanda Bynes tweeted something interesting. I know, I never thought I’d write those words either. And yet, in the midst of a whole bunch of crazy in which she literally told rapper Drake to “murder” her ladybits (what does that even mean?!) she made a rather astute observation:
I’m suing certain blogs and magazines saying I have a mental illness! They take pictures anytime I’ve gained weight then write a fake story!
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 5, 2013
I have an eating disorder so I have a hard time staying thin.
— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 5, 2013
“I have an eating disorder so I have a hard time staying thin.” I love her SO MUCH for saying this. First because you don’t often hear celebs talking about their eating disorders in the present tense – it’s always about how they had an eating disorder in the past. Because we can only talk about our struggles after we’re done struggling? Second, because she tackles a very popular eating disorder myth.
Myth: An eating disorder automatically makes you skinny. (See also the correlating myth: If someone is very skinny then he/she must have an eating disorder.)
In spite of the number of Lifetime movies you may have seen on the subject, having an eating disorder or engaging in disordered eating behaviors (yeah, there actually is a difference), does not guarantee you thin thighs and xylophone ribs. While I don’t have any stats to back this up, from personal experience it seems there are far more women with eating disorders who are of an average weight or overweight. You may recall that even at my very thinnest (and sickest), I just looked a little bony. Most people thought I looked great. One woman even stopped me to tell me I had “the perfect body.” I was definitely not the walking skeleton you think of when you hear “anorexic”. Yet I was terribly sick. And the public acclaim/denial of my problem didn’t help my recovery one bit.
The first issue is that anorexia is not the only eating disorder on the block. Bulimia, binge eating, and all the forms of ED-NOS (eating disorder – not otherwise specified) allow for as many iterations of screwed up behavior as there are sufferers. In fact, binge eating is now ranked as the most common eating disorder.
The second problem is that eating disorders don’t live in stasis. It’s very hard to stay anorexic your entire life. It’s a tricky disease and while most people don’t die from it many don’t recover 100% either. There’s a lot of two steps forward, one step back. Plus, one eating disorder can morph into another. Here’s a secret that many ED sufferers find very painful: Many anorexics end up becoming bulimic or binge eaters because after years of restriction your body wants food and because you’ve ignored your hunger signals so long, you don’t know how to feed yourself properly. The shame of going from “perfect” control over your food to “none” (we’re nothing if not black-and-white thinkers!) adds to awful mix, often causing cycles of restricting followed by periods of bingeing. I personally started out anorexic, then moved to orthorexia, then I added on over-exercising and finally ended up with some bingeing tendencies that were what finally made me seek out Intuitive Eating to end the insanity. Believe me when I say that my weight roller-coastered up and down during these transitions.
Busted: People with eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes. You can’t tell an eating disorder by looking at someone. Also, for anyone flirting with the idea of disordered eating, know this: It never works the way you think it will.
Myth: Eating disorders only happen to white, teenage girls
Adult, middle-aged women are the fastest growing group of sufferers. In addition, rates of eating disorders in African Americans and Latinas are rising at an unprecedented rate. Often the ways the disorder manifests can look different in different populations but sick is sick, no matter your age or skin color. Since I’m white, I don’t feel qualified to speak to a person of color’s experience but check out this excellent NOVA documentary for more perspective. Not to mention that now it is estimated that nearly 20% of ED sufferers are men.
A survey of thousands of American women done by Self magazine and the University of North Carolina a few years ago had some interesting results:
– Fully 75% of adult American women reported disordered eating behaviors or a full-blown eating disorder.
– In addition to this, as was found in the “contagious eating disorder” study (it’s contagious! Panic!!), cultural context matters. Eating disorders cluster because we learn the behaviors from those who are closest to us: our friends and family.
– 67% of respondents (excluding those with active eating disorders) are trying to lose weight. 53% of dieters are already at a healthy weight and are still trying to lose weight. That is a recipe for an eating disorder if I’ve ever heard one.
Busted: Eating disorders afflict people from a wide range of cultural, socioeconomic and gender backgrounds.
Myth: People with eating disorder have food issues.
One of the things people said to me a lot when I told them about my eating disorders was “Oh, I could never have an eating disorder! I just love food too much!” For some reason I found this more hurtful than almost anything else. There are a lot of reasons people have an eating disorder and they generally have very little to do with the food itself:
1. Genetics. It’s hard to tease apart the effects of nature versus nurture in something so basic to our survival as food but I believe there is a strong genetic component. As the saying goes, “Genetics load the gun, environment pulls the trigger.” Disordered eating has been passed down through my family from generation to generation, just like our recipe for “goop rolls” and our distinctive “Hilton squint.”
2. Control. And I do not mean self control. People always say to me “oh, you must have had so much self control as an anorexic!” It’s fear, people. It’s about controlling the one thing you have absolute control over – what goes in your mouth – in a society that can feel very out of control. Every major flare up of my disordered eating has occurred around a great stressor in my life. It’s a coping technique. A bad one, but still a coping strategy.
3. Perfectionism. I’m a perfectionist. Always have been. My mother will tell you that I cried when I came out of the womb because I only got a 9 on my APGAR. I’ve never got anything less than an “A” in school (seriously). I’ll get sick or faint rather than drop out of a race. If I’m going to do something, I’m going to do in 100%. In some areas of life, this perfectionistic drive is a bonus but in a society that values thinness over almost anything else? Disaster.
4. Black and White Thinking. Despite all of my husband’s attempts to train it out of me, I’m still a notoriously black-and-white thinker. I understand the world is nuanced but when it comes to myself, well, I’m either good or bad. And food is either good or bad. When I hear advice like “trans fats are bad for you” I take out all transfats from my diet. I don’t think “well, they’re not great for me but I’m not going to die if I eat a ding dong.” It was this kind of thinking that led to my orthorexia.
5. Endorphins. The starvation cycle is self-reinforcing. Once you deprive yourself long enough, the body kicks in some extra energy which, if you were truly in an environment with no food, would give you an extra boost to go find some food. However, in an anorexic who is surrounded by food this hollow feeling can be rather addictive.
6. Self punishment. This probably goes along with black and white thinking but I’m very hard on myself and I think a lot of eating disordered people are too. So yes, sometimes I would use food as a reward for being good or take it away as a punishment for being bad.
7. Depression. When you are severely depressed, you may think “What’s the point of eating anyhow?” Some depressed people overeat, some undereat but changes in eating patterns are often one of the first and best signs of depression.
8. The desire to be thin. Thin is greatly rewarded in our society. I’m not saying it’s right – in fact, I think it’s a travesty that is wreaking havoc in the souls of our daughters – but it is the truth. And those of us who are perfectionistic people-pleasers will do our best to be what society deems acceptable. Even more so when many of our friends and/or family members are doing it.
Busted: It’s not about the food. Some of the anorexics I have known have been the most passionate people I’ve ever met about food. They spend hours combing through recipes and baking and serving and planning and cooking. They love food. They just don’t love themselves.
What do you wish people knew about eating disorders? (I know I missed a lot of good stuff!) What do you think about Amanda Bynes’ tweet: Cry for help or attention seeking?
I was thinking about you this morning and then BAM you come out with this gold! So thoughtful, intelligent and compassionate (as always).
I have EDNOS with a tendency towards binge and emotional eating. I call myself “recovering” as recovery is very much a process for me.
But I have a “dirty little secret”. I used to think (and sometimes still catch myself thinking) “I wish my eating disorder was anorexia. At least then I’d look hot instead of being overweight”
Yup.
Insane. This is insane thinking.
I don’t really want anorexia. But you’re so right. You can never tell who may have one from external appearances. And ED LOVES shame. I hid my ED really well – although my hips don’t lie 😉 And for years I thought I was just a fatty fat fat fat who needed to “lose weight” and “stop eating like a pig”. It is never about the food. It’s a mental health issue.
So glad more light is being shed on this. Thank you. xxx
Yep, that is the definition of insanity! And you and I both know that even if you were the “perfect” anorexic, you’d still think you were fat and not hot. Because, like you said, “it’s a mental health issue”! Glad I’m not the only one though who deals with these crazy thoughts. (huge hugs) Tahlee!!
Hahaha, yup. The weight loss is never enough!
Huge hugs right back atcha 🙂
Great post as always. Like the previous commenter I too am a binge eater and an emotional eater and have had similar thoughts about anorexia. Jealous thoughts if I am honest -“why can’t I have that kind of self control?!”. I do realise too how insane that thinking is!!!
Add postnatal depression to the mix and I’m not sure which way is up or down. I’m interested in the Geneen Roth intuitive eating approach but the little bits I’ve heard about it mentioned a God/spiritual aspect and while I have no issues with others beliefs I’m just not into the God thing myself so I’m just wondering if this is a big aspect of the book?
Hey Crazylady 🙂
Personally I’ve never read Geneen’s book but I know what you mean about spiritual stuff. I read a book called ‘The don’t go hungry diet’ – a dreadful title but it combines intuitive eating with biological science. I found it helpful. xo
Thanks Tahlee! I’ll check that out.
You can also look at the book “Intuitive Eating.” It’s one of the first written on the subject, although they’ve just published an updated & expanded version.
I also, in the past, have wished to be anorexic. So I could be thin. It’s all part of the disordered thinking that goes along with disordered eating.
Tahlee,
Thanks for the book recommendation! I read a sample last night and i’m hooked! I’m going to order it today.
Geneen’s book “Women, Food and God” has a spiritual bent but her earlier stuff like “Breaking Free From Emotional Eating” and “If You’re Going to Eat at the Refrigerator..” doesn’t have any spiritual/God stuff in it! I personally loved her earlier books. If you’re looking to skip the spiritual stuff then just stay away from that one title. I’ve also read Intuitive Eating (as suggested by Azusmom) and that’s fab too. Gonna have to check out Tahlee’s rec!
I think you did an awesome job putting your truth out there. You need to be thanked for being vocal and open and talking about this — so many people keep it quiet because I think there’s shame involved in eating disorders. Mine shifted from chronic dieting and bingeing to anorexia to bulimia to excessive exercise and then just a little bit of obsession. What I wish people knew is that I don’t want them to feel sorry for me b/c I went through this — my eating disorder opened the door t a lot of great self discovery, awareness, and to actually learning to love myself–a radical act in a world where most people are busy hating their bodies or thinking they’re not good enough in one way or another.
Aw thank you Cheryl! And I LOVE THIS: “my eating disorder opened the door t a lot of great self discovery, awareness, and to actually learning to love myself–a radical act in a world where most people are busy hating their bodies or thinking they’re not good enough in one way or another.” What a beautiful sentiment. Life’s isn’t about avoiding mistakes, it’s about learning from them…
Thank you for opening up such a misunderstood topic. It is great to see you shed light on these issues from such personal experience. I never knew all the stats you quote – even 20% being men! I think we all have a totally misconceived idea about what constitutes an ED. Keep speaking the truth and we will all learn!
Thank you so much for writing this! “Here’s a secret that many ED sufferers find very painful: Many anorexics end up becoming bulimic or binge eaters because after years of restriction your body wants food and because you’ve ignored your hunger signals so long, you don’t know how to feed yourself properly.” Yes yes yes. I still struggle with this, more than 5 years after the low point of my anorexia battle. In fact, I guess I’ve dealt with it for longer than I had actual clinical anorexia. And similarly, even when I was at my sickest (underweight, not menstruating, etc) I didn’t look like a skeleton either. I’m 5’9″. People told me I was built like a model.
I wish people knew you can’t reason with an eating disorder and pretty much anything you say to someone really sick will be twisted and perverted. I had friends and family tell me everything from “you’re worrying your parents” to “if you don’t eat more you’ll have to go to treatment and drop out of school and leave your cat”. I couldn’t have cared less. And both “you look fairly healthy” and “you look like a sick child” were fuel to restrict more. I honestly think the only safe phrase is some variation of “I love you and I want you to get help.” Even “I’m worried about you” was bad when I was really sick.
Huge “amen, sister!” to this: ” wish people knew you can’t reason with an eating disorder and pretty much anything you say to someone really sick will be twisted and perverted.” I totally agree. You can’t argue with someone’s eating disorder. There really is no right thing to say when it comes to their physical appearance. And I have to add that I think these thoughts are some of the last ED behaviors to die out. At least for me, because even now I have to do a check every time someone makes a comment about my body. Throws me still:)
First, thank you for the first corollary myth. I spend my life trying to get people to see/believe that!
Second, those t-shirts make me all kinds of angry.
That is really sad. I don’t follow celeb stuff but I remember Amanda Bynes as the cute , funny girl on nickelodeon. Fame is not good or healthy for the human psyche, most people, let alone children- can not handle it. In my experience an ED will ruin your life and wreck your metabolism.
I know! It’s sad to see her all grown up… like this.
Thanks for speaking out about this issue, Charlotte! I especially agree that an Eating Disorder is not really a food issue. I think this could be said a lot about obesity and other issues related to food and eating. One author I’ve read (Linda Bacon), refers to some of these struggles as “care-taking issues,” which feels so much more accurate to me because what we are really struggling with is how to care for ourselves emotionally, relationally, and physically–not figure out food.
“Care-taking issues” – I love that! I’ll have to look more into Linda Bacon. It’s so true.
True, true, true, true…oh so true. All of it.
I also want those t-shirts to be burned, awful idea, even for adults.
One thing I wish people would get is that their own obsession with “paleo” and other popular things can be a form of ED, when pushed too far. Also, I wish some people would stop denying their own problem. I see so many people around me with ED that think they are normal, which may be true, since so many more people ahve EDs than in the past, but I’ve been there and see it, and well, you have it (not you, but the people I’m thinking about)… Including my mom and husband! Hope this doesn’t get passed down 🙁
Yes!! I’m so sorry about your mom and husband – it must be really hard for you to maintain your own sanity when you’re surrounded by that. You have all my sympathy – I know that feeling well:) And yes to this: “One thing I wish people would get is that their own obsession with “paleo” and other popular things can be a form of ED, when pushed too far. “
Those t-shirts make me so sad. This is a really good post. I think people have these concepts of eating disorders and don’t really grasp the nuances of them. This is a really great post and hopefully will help open people’s eyes to these issues.
Thank you Amanda!
The bit about contagious eating disorders fascinates me because in my social circle during late high school/early college (so late 70s/early 80s) there was quite a bit of social bulimia. It was like most of the “sensitive depressed” girls engaged in it when we weren’t, y’know, writing really bad poetry or fighting with our partners in the horrible relationships we kept getting embroiled in. One friend and I would routinely go to this semi-sleezy Chinese restaurant, order the dinner special for 3 under the pretense another friend was due to join us, then throw it all up in their bathroom before we left. It was really easy to be proud of this as a.) a transgressive act and b.) a smart way to eat tasty things without getting fatter because we reinforced each other rather than feel the shame we might have if we were hiding it from everyone.
Yes, it’s amazing what an impact for both good and bad close friends and family members can have! I remember my sister saying she learned her ED from me… I felt terrible.
Thank you for saying that not everyone who is thin has an eating disorder! I am at a very healthy, for me, weight yet I am constantly getting the “You’re so thin you could eat whatever you want!” and it drives me crazy. It is such a distorted view. No one, no matter their weight, gets to eat with free reign. It is possible to look thin on the outside, and have completely clogged heart vessels, or type 2 diabetes or through the roof cholesterol. I had gestational diabetes with both my pregnancies and people were shocked because I didn’t “fit the mold”.
You can be unhealthy and thin. You can be healthy and curvy. There isn’t a single person out there for whom it is healthy to eat three big macs a meal or candy every morning for breakfast.
Stepping off soap box.
True, you cannot tell someone’s health just by looking at them! I wish more people understood that…
Thanks so much for this informative post. You’ve covered all the myths about EDs beautifully. I have a friend who is a black-and-white thinker. In fact she is obsessed with this black-and-white thing. For some reason she simply ignores the other colors between black and white and lo and behold, she has been diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I wish I could do something for her.
You are helping her by being her friend:)
When i was bulimic I put on 20 pounds, and thought I was a failure. This was back in the late 80’s/early 90’s, and I believed that everyone with an ED was stick-thin. A few years later I became anorexic and, while I was certainly thinner than I’d ever been before, I didn’t LOOK sick. I, too, got A LOT of compliments on my figure.
And I was STILL trying to lose weight.
Now I’m something of a binge eater (after going through a few years of binge exercising), and am definitely an emotional eater. I’m quite large, and I am exhausted.I’m 43 years old, a mom, a teacher, and a former-possibly-again-in-the-future-actor, and I am SO tired of thinking about food, of hating my body, and of all the deeper issues that drive me to eat.
I’m also tired of women asking for help and being shut down. Being told that we’re simply seeking attention, or that we’re whiners, or that we’re crybabies. (Yes, the Real Housewives are seeking attention, but they’d all be better served b y intensive therapy than by being on TV.)
Amanda Bynes desperately needs help. I don’t know where her family and friends are, or whether they’ve tried everything and she’s turned away from them, but someone needs to to do something to reach her.
And I don’t know why it is that our culture STILL views women as objects, to be seen and not heard, and to be thrown away or ridiculed when we act like human beings.
Is it any wonder 75% of us (and I personally think that number is low) have an ED?
Love this comment. Love you. Love all of it!
My ED (DE? It’s much more disordered eating than an eating disorder, I think) has returned with a vengeance. I always talk about it as something I used to have. But really it just morphed into a different type of DE and went quiet for a little while. It’s… hard.
Thanks for writing this – as usual, you’ve got it exactly right!
((Huge hugs)) Sagan! I’ve said this before but you were one of my first “blog friends” lo those many years ago and I’ve often felt like we’ve gone through many of the same struggles. You are bright and brilliant and beautiful and I have no doubt you will see your way through this. But in the meantime, if you need help, please ask for it! And if you need a listening ear, I’m here:)
I love this post! My daughter is anorexic and I wish everyone knew ALL of this! I’m a high school teacher and have become pretty open about her anorexic struggles (with her permission) and feel like all I do is educate people and try to debunk myths.
I do have a question…In the past weeks, my daughter has been complimented by people about being so thin and asked what her strategy is. They clearly have no idea what they are saying to her and she has no idea what to say. She wants to be honest, but doesn’t want to make things weird or create a big deal. What do you think she should say?
She also has no close friends, but many who want to make her their project–to fix her. She badly wants a good friend but doesn’t know how to go about building a relationship with someone who likes her for her, rather than wanting to fix her. Suggestions for her? (
Right now I think I’m her best friend..and I’m not gonna lie, I’m so glad she has not pushed me away)
Oh Linda! Everything about this makes me want to hug both you and your daughter!! First, kudos to you for being so open with her and getting her appropriate help. Second, I would say that she needs to respond to people’s comments in the way that makes HER the most comfortable. If she wants to confront it and tell them about her disorder that’s totally legit (I’ve done that actually) but that can get exhausting. For me, if the person was a stranger who I’d likely never see again I’d just say thanks and change the topic. Third, as to how to make good friends – HIgh School is so so hard for this, even without an ED to contend with! My best advice would be to do something she loves (play a sport if her doctor allows it, volunteer at the library, take an art class, join a choir, whatever!) and then befriend other like-minded people. It’s a lot easier to find people you have something in common with when you’re actually doing the thing in common;)
Huge hugs to the both of you! Keep me posted on how you and your daughter are doing!
Today kids are so defined by how they look and besides that, almost every conversation between teenagers has something to do with how a person looks or wishing they could do something to look better. What about the beauty on the inside?
ironically i do not want to be thinn i want to be NORMAL
What a great post Charlotte! I am 35-year-old Caucasian male and I fell for the eating disorder myths for so long that I didn’t even know I suffered from an eating disorder myself. I actually took a class on managing eating disorders and it was during that class when I suddenly came to the realization that I had disordered eating. Since then it’s been a journey of healing and discovery and I’m proud to say my eating habits are now healthier than ever, Both for body and mind.
Thank you for posting this. When I was trying to recover at 90-some pounds, it was genuinely baffling how my parents thought I needed to be in the hospital, my husband was afraid to go to work for fear I’d have a heart attack and die, and total strangers told me I was nice and lean and fit. No, I could barely walk the dog.
The worst was when I had a consultation with a counselor who claimed to have expertise in treating eating disorders. She was (objectively speaking) obese and when I got warm and removed my sweater, she saw bony shoulders and arms in a tank top and told me, “You have a dancer’s body! So long and lean! Are you a dancer.”
No, I told her, I’m anorexic. REMEMBER??
She also asked me if I was afraid my husband would leave me if I restored weight because she used to me just my size but once she got over a 100 pounds her husband left her for getting too fat.
Fortunately, my husband was begging me to put on 20-30 pounds so her stupid story didn’t affect me, but I told her she should not treat anorexic patients since she had caused me more harm than good in our one hour appointment.
Good gravy what a horrible experience! I’m sorry you had to deal with that. And good on you that you told her off. I hope you finally found someone to genuinely help you.
I did! I ended up setting up skype appointments with my fabulous counselor in another state. We’d moved and I was trying in-person counseling first. But I’m almost glad, in a weird way, it was so hideously unsuccessful, because my Skype counselor had known me for two years already.
And my story has a happy ending. I reconnected with my counselor, started powerlifting with a great coach who also retaught me how to eat, and I’m doing pretty great seven months later.
I also thought I was doomed to live WITH my ED, but since starting the real work of relearning eating, exercise, and handling emotions, I see the light at the end of the tunnel of living WITHOUT an ED.
Bless you for writing this….I was anorexic from the time that I was 17 which, as you pointed out often does, turned out to binge eating a couple of years after that. I yo-yoed between restricting and bingeing and then over-exercising until most recently (I’m now 32) bulimia. It has been the biggest struggle of my entire life and so many times I’ve wanted to give up. It’s so mentally exhausting that many times I’ve wanted to die. My family is what keeps me going.
Thank you so much for putting this out there. I hope it reaches many.
This goes along with control, but PERFECTIONISM.
And I don’t mean perfectionism in how we look even.
I mean that all too often when we seek to be healthy even we get obsessed with perfection in our diet – in adherence to how we “should” be eating. We can’t let go for even a second.
And even the smallest of indulgences can make us feel guilty and set off an awful chain of events.
It was interesting to read this post after reading one about breaking up with paleo by another woman (linked to it here if you are interested!) http://huntgatherlove.com/content/breaking-paleo.
I was horrified at those t-shirts on little girls. There seems to be no end in the media to encourage girls and women to weight 0. Perhaps everyone really wants us to weight nothing and disappear completely? Feels like it sometimes.
Enjoyed your great article.
Thank you for reminding people that EDs can be a form of self-punishment or a sign of depression. I had both happen to me. The first time, I was depressed and I didn’t feel like I deserved to eat and the second time, I had two miscarriages in 4 months and decided I hated my body for doing that to me and was going to punish it severely. It has never been about control, really, for me. Almost the opposite. I lose control of my sense of self-preservation and that’s when things go downhill. But my family keeps me going (my kids keep me so busy with their needs that I have very little time anymore to obsess about my own mundane things) and regular, non-overexercising has been a life saver. Hugs to all who have been there or are still there.
Pingback:Link Love 13/4 |
Charlotte, this is so beautiful and honest, thank you for your brave and very real words. I agree with everything you said, as someone who suffered from anorexia in high school and, despite having ‘recovered,’ struggles to maintain healthy eating and exercising habits, I found every last morsel of your post to be resonant. It’s so validating to know that other people truly get it, and I thank you for being courageous and vulnerable enough to own it, to put it out there.
Also just wanted to put it out there – not all eating disorders are mental either. My mum has a ED. It just happens to be physical. She has a hole in her esophagus and literally has trouble eating certain foods. May not be your typical ED, but it is one nonetheless.
Pingback:Read This, Read This, Read This | Funandfiber's Blog
Nowadays the normal image is so distorted. I make sure to remind my children that the people they see in magazines and in the media do not look that way without all the special affects.
Pingback:A Gutsy Roundup: outta here edition
Really enjoyed reading this post. I went through a tought time with my eating about five years ago. Now I am a Channel swimmer so it is really important that I pack on the extra weight to stay warm. Looking back I think I was so stupid for trying to stay that skinny and hurting myself in the process.
Pingback:Five Things Friday 4.26.13
Pingback:Fit Friday Find: 4.26.13 | Levels
I enjoyed your post, it is really helpful and useful post who are suffering from Eating Disorder in recovery. Great job id done by you to share those great words in your post.
This is a very informative page. Do you have any advice for someone WITHOUT an eating disorder? I get accused of it all the time, because my family is skinny and tall on both sides and I am (unsurprisingly) skinny and tall too (5ft 9, 52 kg). However, my boyfriend will attest that I eat as much as him (6ft 1, 80 kg, average to muscular build) and we make an effort to eat well (organic dairy, pole and line caught fish etc). I have just inherited a really fast metabolism. How do you handle haters accusing you of having an eating disorder if you don’t have one, when you know that they won’t believe your denial? As a naturally very skinny person, how can you regain their respect?
P.s. anyone with an eating disorder reading this; I hate being thin; gangly, weak, small chest, feel like a spindly old lady and treated like an insignificant weakling or presumed to have an ED. Please don’t think my stats are any form of brag. They are quite the opposite. I wish I was heavier like when I took the contraceptive pill. Just a stone and 1-2 dress sizes heavier and I was treated with respect, by men and women. I felt accepted and attractive. But the pill gave me severe mood swings so I had to stop and the weight melted off again. From my heart, I don’t think your life will become any better if you get skinny like me and I hope this rather poor attempt to be helpful with these words has the desired effect.