Complicating easy things is kinda my life’s work. I don’t want to brag or anything but I’m pretty much a genius at making things look hard. Whether it’s this whole motherhood thing – I’ve left a child at the gym so many times that it’s now standard operating procedure to do a headcount every time we go through a doorway – or exploding my bread maker this morning (an appliance that’s supposed to take the risk out of making bread? Pshaw!), I live for danger. But there comes a time when even I have to throw up my hands and say “Why are we making this so difficult?!”, especially when it comes to health and fitness.
1. Salad. Every healthy eater eats it. It’s basically the only dish that everyone from vegans to low-carbers to raw foodies to the most neolithic Paleo can eat without anyone calling the nutritional police. I can understand why – it’s delicious, nutritious and the perfect canvas for any ingredient you can think to throw on top of greens. (Ha ha – you thought I was going to end that phrase with “and tastes like chicken!” didn’t you?) The problem for me is when it’s lunchtime, I’m starving and while salad sounds good I just don’t feel like chopping a ton of veggies and adding olives, beets, grapefruit wedges, cheese crumbles, toasted (by me, of course) pine nuts, onions and the weed that I pick out of the cracks in my neighbor’s driveway (purslane, seriously try some) and then topping it with a freshly emulsified dressing of extra virgin olive oil, vinegar, a dash of tabasco, unicorn blood and 11 herbs and spices. Why does such a simple food have to be so much work?
Simplify: When I was in Germany one of the best meals I ever had was started with a salad of chopped butter lettuce topped with olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette. That’s it. I ate so much of it our host mother was forced to go back out to their garden plot and pick another bunch just for me. (It also helped that I hadn’t seen a fruit or vegetable in like three weeks and was super constipated. Seriously Germany what is up with the produce hating? You have eleventy different kinds of sausage but an apple not in the form of strudel is verboten? It’s bad enough you have different flushing mechanisms on every single toilet – the chain over the door was by far the most befuddling – but now you have to back me up too?)
These days I often make that “German salad” and I’m never sorry. I love a good 70-ingredient salad as much as the next health nut but there’s nothing wrong with just plopping some lettuce on your plate. Especially when you eat as much salad as I do. (“Salad” bowl? More like mixing bowl!) Bonus tip: Sometimes when I’m feeling particularly lazy I just buy one of those plastic clamshells of organic “herb blend” lettuce, top it with oil and vinegar, close the lid and shake, shake, shake Senora. Then I eat it straight out of the container. Fast food doesn’t get any faster than that!
2. Food labels. My frozen peas are “gluten free”. My dark chocolate is “bursting with antioxidants”. My eggs are “all natural”. (I used to buy the unnatural eggs but after I found a baby woodchuck in one I switched.) My totally-not-healthy-in-any-way licorice is “fat free”. My yogurt is “now with probiotics”. (Um, what were they using before? Camel urine?) And, my personal fave, my bananas are a “superfood”. Seriously marketers? Stop it. When my banana sprouts a cape and saves my toddler from a speeding train then you can slap a superfood sticker on it.
Simplify: Foods that come without labels – usually produce, bananas notwithstanding, and fresh meats and seafood – are generally the healthiest foods out there. As for foods with labels, I find it works much better if I ignore all the hype in big letters on the front and just look at the nutritional facts on the back. Twenty three grams of sugar in a yogurt cup? You can keep your probiotics, thanks. While I wish that food marketers would be more honest in their labeling – all my peas better be gluten free – that’s probably as likely to happen as the invention of lickable wallpaper so in the meantime I just take it all with an iodized grain of salt (“iodide is a necessary nutrient!”).
3. Weight lifting. I’m going to take some flack for this one but I’m going to say it anyways: weight lifting is just lifting heavy stuff. You do it every single day whether you intend to or not. Groceries? Kids? Drunk roommates in wobbly stilettos? All need carrying. I wince every time I hear a person (usually a woman but not always) say, “I can’t lift weights! I wouldn’t even know how to start, it’s all so complicated!” It’s not her/his fault. Between all the machines tattooed with diagrams that make Egyptian runes look like a preschool rebus and the beefed-up lifters talking “super sets” and “rear deltoids” and the signs warning you to not get injured (OH THE SIGNS OF IMPENDING DOOM), I can understand why people think they “can’t lift.”
Simplify: First, avoid the machines. Most gyms will steer newbies to those first (I’m guessing since they’re the most expensive equipment?) but not only are they hard to figure out and may possibly fold you like a burrito if you get in one wrong but they are also not the best for you as they hold your joints in unnatural positions and don’t allow your supporting muscles to kick in. Second, go for free weights (dumbbells and barbells) and/or anything “functional” in movement. What to do with them? Just lift them! Lift them in any way that feels natural to you. Try to use your upper and lower body. Copy someone else (it’s only creepy if you stand right behind them and sing along with their iPod). But don’t worry about it too much. Sets, reps, negatives, splits, the proper Latin terms for all the muscles – all these are great and if you decide you want a more precise workout then you’ll learn about them and implement them.
The important thing is to just get in there and try it. Another worry I hear a lot is “I don’t want to get hurt!” While you can injure yourself weight-lifting most new lifters don’t lift anything heavy enough to do serious damage. Third, listen to your body. Does your knee hurt every time you lunge? Find a way to lunge that doesn’t hurt or don’t lunge. There are plenty of other exercises for your legs. Fourth, try body weight exercises. These don’t use any “weights” except your own and they can be powerful resistance exercises. You can build amazing shoulders with different kinds of push-ups and you’ll never once have to worry about dropping a dumbbell on your head.
Do you have a health or fitness trend that you wish people would stop making so complicated? How do you like your salad? Do you like your weight routines simple or complicated?
Oh Charlotte, you never cease to make me laugh and nod in agreement. You are so right on these. My goal by the end of 2014 (It takes a really long time!) is to have a pantry and fridge without any barcodes. With the nonsense of Monsanto, chemical additives, and mysterious imports from China, I want food. Plain, simple, wholesome food from farmers I know.
Oooh I love the “no barcode” thing! Although until I learn to can my own produce and beans I’m afraid it will be a long time in my future:) But this: ” Plain, simple, wholesome food from farmers I know.” is a superb goal. Me too!
Part of the reason I gave myself to the end of 2014 is because I have to learn how to can produce and beans. We’re already pretty paleo/primal (we do eat some soaked beans because I LOVE THEM nom nom) so a lot of it is fairly easy, as we don’t have to learn how to process our own grain. Baby steps. Baby steps. 🙂
Love this! And Kat (above): I have a new goal, thank you very much! No barcodes….simple and smart. Thanks ladies.
*I have a weird impulse to tie a washcloth around a banana and fly it around the kitchen now.
DO IT!!! I will too. It’ll be epic.
I am one of those people who is intimidated by the weight room, but I know that eventually I just have to get in there and try it, or else I’ll never learn and it’ll never get less intimidating!
Do you have a friend who could take you and show you the ropes? Another good way to try is to get a book or ask for an intro from the personal trainers/gym staff (most gyms offer that for free!) But definitely give it a try!
Oh, my word. I’ve been (mostly) a stalker until now, but I just about peed myself reading this, first of all because you’re hilarious, and second of all, because it is SO. TRUE. The salad part is true (lettuce + cukes + olive oil + lemon juice is the go-to around here), although maybe a vegetable-less place was, in fact, the BEST place to have complicated toilets? I mean, at least, if you couldn’t figure the mechanism out, you weren’t leaving any gifts for the next person…
“All my peas better be gluten free!” <– Indeed.
And there are too many gems in the weightlifting post for me to even get started. If it hurts, stop. Do something different. You know, something that…doesn't hurt? REVOLUTIONARY!
In short, you're awesome. And I need to pee…
Haha – this made my day! So glad you enjoyed it! And good point about the Rubik’s cube toilets! At least I didn’t have to use them much…
I wish people would stop making fitness in general so complicated. You don’t have to do all these trendy types of exercise. Find something you like and do that. Don’t like something? Don’t do it. It doesn’t matter if what you like doesn’t burn a ton of calories, if you enjoy it and you’re moving that’s what matters
Exactly!
Cardio gets needlessly complicated too. Should you be doing LISS, HIIT, or “just” intervals? How pukey does it have to make you to be REAL HIIT? Heart rate in the fat-burning or aerobic zone? Fasted morning or it doesn’t matter? And probably a bunch of other arguments I’m forgetting now 🙂
I totally agree with you, Charlotte, that we make health way too complicated. Reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend one day; she was describing another friend’s inability to lose weight and resulting prep for surgery; she described her friend trying and not getting results on every diet out there. I said, “Well, has she ever tried just eating healthy and exercising?” There was a long pause, and my friend finally said, “No…I don’t think she’s tried that.” Really?! I know health and weight loss can be hard because there is so much more to it than just the behavior on the surface, but I think we make it way more complicated than it has to be by coming up with endless diet plans. What if we instead actually addressed the underlying emotions, habits, and issues that make it hard? Maybe it would get easier once and for all!
Oh salad – spinach or whatever greens I have in the fridge, craisins, goat cheese, walnuts, maybe chicken/an apple/whatever and a vinagrette made out of red wine vin, bacon drippings, dijon, a little brown sugar, salt and pepper. Or greens, whatever leftover protein is in the fridge, tomatoes, beans, cheese, sour cream and salsa. Or…yeah, basically it’s whatever’s in the fridge on top of some greens lol.
And I like my weightlifting uncomplicated. I mix bodyweight, plates and machines (I’d use dumbbells at the gym, but I’d have to carry them upstairs because the weight rack is so crowded and, well, no. lol). I use dumbbells and resistance bands at home.
I love my fancy salads but yep, I regularly put some dressing on lettuce and call it salad! This horrifies the fiance to no end. When I’m planning to do salads for lunches all week though I hard boil eggs, crumble cheese, or chop veggies on Sunday for the whole week. It’s sooo nice to just be able to drag out the containers and dump it together. I generally uncomplicate it too by using bottled dressing. Probably full of HFCS but it’s a tiny bit in a huge salad, oh well.
I do understand the fear of weights. I totally had that before I started. I think the best money spent is for an hour with a personal trainer to get set up with a routine. Or attend some body tone/body sculpt classes. I got so many moves I have edited to fit whatever equipment or space I had from these.
“Complicated” salads are the thing about a more paleo-leaning diet. I (and my family) got bored with the simple meat and veggie combinations pretty quickly. I decided to just suck it up and manage my time/recipes better so that I could be prepared. So while I appreciate “simple,” my taste buds just can’t deal with it long term.
My favorite simple(r) salad? A romaine blend, roasted tomato salsa, balsamic vinegar, a lil’ bit of chipotle ranch dressing and grilled chicken; toss. Throw some beans in too if they don’t upset your GI tract.
RE: weights, I used to do those thigh ad/abductor machines. And I used to also think heavy weights would make me bulky (I’ve been using heavy weights for a few years now, and I still have spaghetti noodle arms. They’re stronger, but no less noodle-y).
I’m in agreement with previous posters about cardio seeming complicated too. Endurance? Speed? Intervals? High Intensity intervals? I don’t want to get injured, but I also don’t want to waste time…
I know what you mean. As time goes on, both my food and my fitness have become simpler–whole foods and kettlebells/bodyweight workouts. I try to keep a supply of nuts, seeds, frozen fruit, etc. on hand so that I can just throw together a smoothie or salad, but salad dressing is usually just a drizzle of olive oil and balsamic or rice vinegar. My new favourite workout guy is Al Kavadlo: http://www.alkavadlo.com/. He’s a badass-looking New Yorker, but he does all his workouts in a playground. It doesn’t get much simpler.
I LOVE this. And I really needed to be reminded of the weight-lifting one: just lift some stuff up and down and try to work out both upper and lower body! Simple, right? And yet I can make it SO. FREAKING. COMPLICATED. 😛
So true. Although I have read health books saying that cooked foods are healthier for some people than raw. It was a Chinese medicine thing. So maybe salad isn’t the perfect health food. Cooked vegetables are definitely smaller than raw!
Micheal Pollan, somewhere, is nodding his head in vigorous agreement. (Though he doesn’t really look like he knows anything abotu #3. But then again, neither do I (look like it, that is) so I should shut up and stop stereotyping, huh?)
I overcomplicate everything. And I don’t care what spell check says. That is a word.
Salad recipes on Pinterest crack me up – I have never in my life shopped for specific ingredients for a particular salad! Let’s see, is it a vegetable that can be eaten raw? Good, chop ‘er up and chuck it in. Seems like it might be bitter? Add fruit. Toasted nuts only happen when my husband has salad duty and extra time while a) the kids are happy/elsewhere, and b) the rest of the meal finishes cooking. Not cooking? Add leftover protein. We are not investing in real estate here, people, this thing is going to last 7 minutes so there’s no need to make it a masterpiece every time! We do make our own dressing, but yeah, that can mean O&V plus S&P or herbs from the freezer. My only rule is that all components must be fork-ready; I think it’s rude to serve a salad that requires a knife to eat.
I live in Germany. When I first came here I got really worried about the pervasive brownness of the food. Then a local friend pointed out that restaurant food is not indicative of what happens in actual homes. Having been here a while now I can say that they regularly use produce you rarely encounter in NAm, although there is a penchant for cooking it. You can check out My Kitchen in the Rockies for recipes that straddle this food culture divide in the opposite direction.
Thanks for another great post. I love eating raw spinach leaves with oil and vinegar and that’s it. Being healthy doesn’t have to be complicated and I totally agree on the yogurt thing, I do not need a can of soda with my yogurt. I would rather eat plain yogurt with my own toppings giving myself control over the sugar content.
I used to think a salad wasn’t worth it unless it was topped with a bunch of veggies, but lately, I’ve just been ripping open a mixed greens, drizzling a bit of dressing, and eating. And yeah… my salad bowls are usually mixing bowls too. 🙂
LOVE those first two – LOVE!!!!!! I am all about EASY!
Ah, weight lifting.. I think it is more complex than I care to write about so I will stop there.. I just don’t want people to get hurt!! Yes, I managed to hurt my rotator cuff YEARS ago with a 5 pound weight! Thank god it was not a bad one but it hurt for a few days! 😉
You are so right. Sometimes I think we like to make things more complicated than they need to be just so we all have something in common to talk about at a cocktail party. 🙂
Gaye
It’s all about marketing, isn’t it? It’s one thing if you have Celiac, an intolerance, or a food allergy, but food manufacturers (and isn’t that term telling, in and if itself? That we eat mainly “manufactured” food?) jump on every trend in a desperate bid to sell their products. (Not that gluten-free is a trend, and isn’t an absolute necessity for many, but PEAS !?!?!)
As for workouts, there are so many programs out there vying for attention. So we have “muscle confusion,” “reverse intervals,” “compound super sets with (manly) glitter,” etc.
As for salads, every once in a while I’ll load up on my favorite salad toppings at the salad bar & bring them home to toss over my greens. Because, in all honesty, I probably won’t be marinating my own mushrooms & beans or roasting lavender-scented kumquats anytime soon.
I do agree most of us make health and fitness too complicated. This could be a reason we sometimes throw up our hands and just go for the takeout or skip the workout b/c who needs all the preparation or pressure of doing everything “just right”. I am a personal trainer, so form is key to see results and reduce injuries. However, not trying different forms of exercise, such as free weights, won’t get you anywhere either I agree. I think this is one reason why functional training (which I am a big fan of and use daily with my clients) should be more of an emphasis. Functional training is safe and a very efficient use of time and doesn’t have to be complicated
I totally agree with the weight lifting.
I work at a gym so I’ll clarify the machine mystery. We tell people to use the machines because A. it takes a long time to explain free weights, we offer to assist but most people ignore us B. People (especially women) look at you like you’re stupid if you say “dumbbells are awesome & you should use them”..”we offer free weekly sessions on this” member: *blinks* “Okay, then machines are over there :)” C. Women are afraid of the men in the free-weight area and refuse to walk back there D. Older members seem to think free-weights will hurt them and refuse to walk back there… But, in all honesty most of us would do without the machines. The machines are annoying to clean, they each cost hundred (if not thousands) of dollars, and we all use free-weights.
Love this post! It is SO true. I won’t lie I love a big salad, with all the ingredients. With that being said, they are such a pain to make. I usually find it easier to cut up all my veggies at one time, that way the salad making process is easier. When it comes to weight lifting, totally agree with the keeping it simple. Body weight exercises (dips, pull-ups, push-ups, and then some dumb-bell and barbell type of work.) Thanks for sharing!
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