This is exactly how I do it. Gives a whole new meaning to “these biscuits go straight to my tummy!”
“You might be a bad mother if…” This weeks answer: Your kid always knows which items are yours at the bake sale due to the bright orange Sale! sticker on the package. Similar to redneck jokes, but a lot less funny (us moms, so sensitive!), people have been invoking the Bad Mama stereotype for all kinds of things, like when Jennifer Steinhauer in the New York Times calmly informed us that donating purchased foodstuffs to a school bake sale is not only “cheating” but might be the downfall of society. She is, of course, nuts. And I say that with all the affection of one crazy person to another.
First, a confession. I haven’t donated anything baked or homemade to a school bake sale in years. I also haven’t bought wrapping paper, let my kids sell chocolate door-to-door or hawked raffle tickets to my coworkers. I abhor a fundraiser so whenever one comes up, I write out a check to the PTO for each of my kids and, like the mommy mafia, buy their silence. They get their money and I don’t have to man the dunk-the-teacher booth. Win-win.
Yet even if I did feel so inclined, I am not allowed to bring in anything home made to the school. I can’t bake cupcakes for my son’s birthday nor popcorn balls for the teacher appreciation night and definitely none of my favorite redneck dessert (crackers smeared with peanut butter and dipped in almond bark – unbelievably delish!) for the bake sale. Everything must come plastic-wrapped with the ingredients clearly stated on the label. I’d take it personally but I’m pretty sure they’re just worried about allergies and e. Coli.
Alas school is not the only venue that hosts food fundraisers these days. Everyone from my boys’ scout troop to local sports teams to church groups to even my gym (!) has been asking me for a food donation lately. And heaven help you if you’ve ever witnessed or been a part of a food blogger bake sale. Sadly none of them are as easily bought off as the PTO. (Also, I’m a sucker for peer pressure.)
Obviously the first question is whether I will bake or buy. (Answer: I always go with buy unless it’s not an option) But now, especially since I just moved right next door to health conscious Boulder, it seems like not only is everyone baking their own brownies (there’s a pot legalization joke in here somewhere but I’m too tired to find it) but that they’re all gluten-free stevia-sweetened chia-enhanced concoctions. Pressure cooking, not just for canning anymore! So now the question is not just will I choose to bake or buy but will I choose to bake or buy something HEALTHY. This is compounded by the terrifying truism that “healthy” means something different to nearly every single person I talk to. The only people who agree totally with me are my own children and heck, that’s because I make them.
Then there’s also the issue of taste. While some people can make a sugar-free cupcake that tastes as good as the real deal, I sure can’t. And I’m not willing to pay 50$/dozen for ones that do, either. At home I don’t necessarily care if my healthy crap-on-a-plate tastes amazing. I like it. My husband likes it. That’s all that matters. But when I’m donating food for the specific purpose of selling it for the highest amount possible, it seems like I really ought to take taste into consideration.
Case in point: At my son’s cub scout bake sale where homemade donations were accepted, at the end of the night do you know which items made the most money for our kerchief-clad cuties? A deluxe cheesecake platter from Costco ($100!), a tiered apple cake from a local bakery ($50!) and a Target cookie mountain ($50!). My friend’s homemade mint brownies went for $5. The honey-seed-oat bars? $1.50. Honestly I’m not surprised. Very few people these days are good enough cooks to rival the pros. (Does Costco put crack in their pies? Because they even beat out most restaurants in my opinion.) Money talks. And in this case I think it might be saying to go the unhealthiest route possible by buying and then donating the most processed, least healthy treat available. But it’s all for a good cause… right?
So, since I have another fundraiser coming up and you guys were so amazingly helpful when I asked for your go-to barbecue/potluck recipes, I thought I’d ask you again! Do you participate in food fundraisers? Do you buy or bake? And either way, what’s your go-to donation or recipe?? (THANK YOU. I love you!)
For someone who loves food as much as I do I am terrible at producing it. But man, I sure do appreciate it!
I have long said that the best fundraiser a school could do would be to send home ransom notes that say ‘If you don’t send in a $10 check we will send your kids to an assembly where we will tantalize them with stupid prizes that are impossible to earn and then flood your neighborhood with every house having multiple kids selling the same stuff you don’t want. You have until tomorrow at noon.”
I’d pay every time.
One of the benefits of being child-free and belonging to a city church is I don’t have to deal with this stuff ever.
That said, I often help my big sister with stuff for her kids and we’ve found that anything with a chocolate on top works well for bake sales. Our most triumphant moment was chocolate fairy cakes, lurid green icing and a chocolate football on top. I find its best to avoid the healthy route as 1) everyone needs a day off and 2) diet cake is invariably vile and therefore not worth the cheat it is anyway.
Chocolate Rice Krispie cakes are also a great fallback option and super easy to make!
Don’t get me started on cake sales. I’m pretty sure you could just donate the price of the ingredients and do more good. If you throw in the cost of your time, even at minimum wage, they definitely come out ahead. So you’re not b being lazy at all, you’re just being economically rational.
I’m always for homemade with pure ingredients, like real butter, cream, chocolate and love.
With that said, I know a lot of working people who do NOT trust homemade goods. They are terrified of hair, saliva and germs in bake goods.
I guess I can appreciate that.
I say, go for bought baked goods.
#ICan’tBelieveIJustEncouragedBoughtGoods
Amy, Hannah, & Charlotte C: great answers!!! We only have one child, but have thrown in the towel. Every club/school fundraiser now just gets a check. The tipping point for me was when the Instructor Nazi at the gym where I worked was gleefully and loudly guilting EVERYONE into buying the cheerleading fundraising crap for her daughter (the only nice one in the whole family, poor dear). Seriously horrible-for-you foodstuff but members were scared of her in class and the instructor bullied everyone at the gym – so most people bought. And then confided that they threw it away when it arrived.
My advice: NEVER APOLOGIZE – just look them in the eye when you hand them a check stating that you feel this is the safest way for your child to ‘fundraise’.
IF I’m buying something from a bake sale, it darn well better be homemade. I don’t care if it is full of human hair and e. coli, that’s part of the homemade charm. Classics are the best: Rice krispy bars, Hello Dollies, Toll House cookies, etc.
neither.
ILL DO ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ELSE even volunteer all day to (wo)man the tables 🙂
Bless your check writing soul! (and that’s a legit blessing not one of those “bless her heart” dealies southern ladies are fond of). One of the things I love the most about my own mother is, when I was a kid, she didn’t make me sell the stupid fundraiser crap. She just wrote a check for my cut and we didn’t have to suffer through all that stupidity. Her words, “You’re not going to pester people to buy that junk.”
If you’re going for super junky for your bake sale item, I recommend Cookie Brownie Hybrids. Go and buy a brownie mix and some pre-made chocolate chip cookie dough (you could make your own cookie dough if you like–it might be cheaper that way if you have to make a lot). Mix up the brownie mix per directions. Drop little hunks of the cookie dough into the brownie batter (once it’s in the baking pan). Bake per brownie directions (or until it all looks cooked to your preferences).
You might even be able to bake them in cupcake papers to make it easier to serve them.
(their awesome if you serve them warm with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge)
THEY’RE (not their–I was so into all that cookie/brownie talk I had grammar fail)
I tend to make cookies if I’m participating in a bake sale. I used to work as a cookie decorator so I will make cookies with a logo or something related to the organization and call it a day. The only fundraised I usually do for my son’s school is the magazine one. I like the magazines anyway and he likes to win time in the game truck, I consider it a win-win. Otherwise I write a check. 🙂
I don’t have bake sale opportunities, but I volunteer for animal rescue and there are a LOT of pot luck lunches to bring stuff for. When they are quasi-coordinating what people bring, my response is always “something green” meaning a vegetable something. That’s to try and balance out the inordinate amount of desserts we used to get. We’re getting better at balancing healthier options and I do tell folks that they may be my guinea pig that day if I decide to try a new recipe on them. People are genuinely appreciative of something homemade. That said, at the end of each lunch I always tell folks what a great meal it was and thank them for their contributions, whether they made them or “hunted and gathered” (aka bought their contributed food). It still takes time to stop at the store, shop and tote it home and to the event.
I USED to bake brownies. I’d buy Ghiradelli mix and use two boxes for one batch. The brownies were very rich and yummy, and were always successful.
HOWEVER…with 2 kids, a kitchen we share with 4 other adults, and my day job during the school year, it’s just not feasible anymore. So I buy it. I admit, there have been times when I’ve tried to pass it off as homemade, but that just makes me feel even more guilty. Fer cryin’ out loud, we work, we raise our kids, we clean, we help with homework, we barely have a minute to take a breath…let’s all just give ourselves and each other a break and admit that the M&M cookies form Safeway are convenient, delish, and better than anything we could whip up, anyway, so forget about the Mom Guilt and let’s sell some goodies!
P.S., Once again, autism gives me the excuse I need to NOT send my kids around the neighborhood selling stuff AND to not buy the crap others are hawking (“We’re on a special diet at our house”) and just write the check.
Oh, and I LOOOOOOVE that picture! 🙂
My workplace has bake sales for various causes every so often, and nobody cares if the food is obviously bought from a store or homemade. People will drop off boxes of Dunkin Donuts, still in the original obvious box. The point is that people donate, not that people painstakingly homemake things. Though, we do a “honor system” thing — just take food and put money in the bucket, we won’t charge for specific items. It works reasonably well.
If you do want to make homemade and not feel guilty, chocolate chip cookies are the easiest thing ever, and you can make them in phenomenal quantities pretty easily.
I take the middle road. Usually, it’s dressing up a boxed cake mix with some additives (chocolate chips, flavoured liquor, sour cream or pudding mix added for moisture ) and homemade frosting (once you eat homemade, and realize it takes only minutes to make, you’ll never eat the chemicals-in-a-can stuff again). The other really good thing that is easy is Ghirardelli brownie mixes. If you can get two boxes of the double chocolate ones on sale it’s worth it, and I guarantee they taste better than anyone’s homemade recipe and most store-bought and bakery ones as well.
I thought my days of band bakesales were over when the kids went to college……then this spring I was in charge of a fundraiser Bakesale….I so dreaded it. We had it on Easter weekend, plenty of special homemade breakfast Cinnabuns and Kolaches and breakfast burritos. It was well advertised, so nearly $2000 raised in a morning, no pricing just a” donation box”…..people dropped in $100 bills for our “homemade Easter” things. Timing was perfect we baked and those who didn’t have time bought and planned to be there first thing that morning because they knew it would be good. Win-win! We made our goal plus had enough left to send one special needs gal to camp ($600)!!!
I worked with older kids so all I did was man a nearby table and got the coffee made so buyers could sit, sample their goodies while sipping some jo. It was an incredible sale! We were blessed….. This group of kids I worked with had motivation so they did the work, the baking, the clean-up…. I think that’s why we hate fundrasiers because most of the time it is mommy doing all that. Train up a child is my mantra…..so glad the kids I worked with had been trained up to do some work. That dear Charlotte is the best thing you can do for them….