Everytime I see this picture I get all mushified inside! Awwww! New parents!
There are lots of things no one tells you about childbirth. Like, for instance, that all that push-push-PUSH!-ing can give you hemorrhoids and break blood vessels in your eyes. (Because looking more tired and uncomfortable is exactly what every new mom needs, right?) Another fun tip? By the end of those 9 months not even maternity clothes fit well and you’ll be stuck wearing your husband’s basketball shorts and oversized Pac-Man tee for weeks, including to church. (And by “you” I mean “me”.) But one thing that really surprised me about birthing babies is how even after the wee one has exploded out of your nethers, you still look, well, pregnant.
After the birth of my first son, I remember sitting on the bed and poking my newly post-partum stomach. At first it was out of habit and I panicked briefly because I couldn’t get the baby to move… until he cried from the bassinet and reminded me he was an outsider now. But then it was because my stomach literally moved like a bowl full of jelly. I was Santa, you guys! But with a whole new meaning for “red suit”! And my stomach stayed that way – an oddly distended jiggly cavern with my organs still stuffed in inappropriate places as if decorated by a Feng Shui artist who hates people – for several weeks.
After my fifth baby, I was no longer surprised when I’d lay down to nurse my baby and my stomach would curl up like a puppy next to us on the bed. I knew that eventually it would deflate to the point where I could tuck it into my pants, my trusty skin apron. (And this is also why I am such a huge fan of post-partum belly wrapping – not so that you can get flat abs fast but because it helps hold all your organs together until your abdominal muscles get strong enough to do it. Seriously that thing was amazing!) Within 6-8 weeks your uterus will shrink back down to its normal walnut size and instead you’ll be consumed with your huge, alien breasts!
Which is why I think I was so surprised at the public hue and cry over the recent pictures of Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge and new mom to George Alexander Louis, standing tall and lovely in a blue polka dot dress with her post-partum bowl full of jelly proudly on display. People were seriously surprised – both by the fact that her tummy still looked pregnant (one commenter wrote “I don’t mean to be a jerk but this isn’t for real, right? No way can you have a baby and still look this pregnant!”) and by the fact that she chose not to hide it. (For the record, my first thought upon seeing the pics was “How is she hiding that snowboard-sized maxi pad under her dress?? They must have better mesh panties in Europe.)
Frankly, I was surprised that people were surprised. Hasn’t anyone seen a real post-partum belly before?
And then I realized: Probably not.
Thanks to the ubiquitous magazine covers showing new celeb moms posing in bikinis with their babies tucked under one arm like a Prada bag under headlines like “How I lost all my baby weight! 50 pounds in two weeks!!” and TV specials that show supermodel moms birthing a baby one week and walking a catwalk the next, we’ve grown to think that it’s normal for women to birth babies like Rachel on Friends: When you’re pregnant you put on a plastic belly (with a very realistic looking bellybutton!) and when you have the baby you just take that thing off! Easy peasy!
These insane expectations hurt all of us – from commoner to celebrity royalty. Victoria Beckham reportedly went into hiding during the last month or so of her fourth pregnancy and refused to emerge until she was back in her pencil skirts so that there would be no chances for the paparazzi to snap unflattering pictures. The other new celeb mom of the summer, Kim Kardashian, hasn’t been seen outside even briefly since the birth of her little one a month ago. And who can blame her after the way the media eviscerated her for her weight gain during her pregnancy? And poor Jessica Simpson. Don’t even get me started on her and her $4 million Weight Watchers “failure.” Sigh.
It’s not just adults that are surprised either. My friend Jill posted on Facebook about her experience watching the glowing Kate as she introduced her baby to the world: ” My 9 yr old daughter watched with me and it surprised her. I was grateful I could talk with her about what your stomach is really like right after having a baby. I was misinformed, or in denial, with my first pregnancy. I brought jean capris to wear home from the hospital. I was so disappointed, confused, and upset when I had to wear my maternity capris home instead.”
My friend Michelle added, ” Now, this may sound so stupid as a nurse, but I had NO idea that one had that tummy afterwards. Of course one does, it’s your uterus which comes down in due time. I honestly appreciated everything a out it, she was tired, emotionally there, smitten, a tinge overwhelmed, but held it together.” And I doubt she’s the only medical professional to not know this either.
Which is why what Kate did was downright revolutionary. Not only did she show the bump but she was confident and beautiful and not the least bit concerned about people seeing it. In fact, as Leslie from All Health Breaks Loose pointed out, “I feel like Kate’s stomach was the furthest thing from her mind. She had a beautiful, healthy baby – that’s what she deserves to be focusing on.” And frankly that’s what we should all be focusing on as well – our beautiful babies and their adorable tummies.
Were you surprised when you saw the pics of Kate’s tummy? What did you think of her choice? If you have kids, what was something that no one told you about childbirth that you had to discover on your own?
Love it! So true! I remember touching my belly after delivering my son. It was like a bowl of jello. I loved your story, it made me laugh and cheers to the princess for being brave enough to put it out there. I like your wrap idea, I also have wraps and women with “mama bellies” are some of my best clients! http://www.facebook.com/lasvegasskinnywraps
having never seen a really pregnant women LIVE or post partum woman LIVE! I was surprised. I did always wondered what happened to the bellies after the babies departed them. I am 24, btw. I don’t know how I’ve avoided real pregnant women.
I have never seen someone one day after giving birth before and I was definitely surprised to see Kate’s tummy. I wondered if it was normal. I would have assumed a tummy would be flabby but flat after giving birth. So I have learnt something!
I want to thank you for writing this post! Incredibly, in this “information age” we’ve lost common knowledge about the most basic functions of life. Our world – particularly women’s bodies – has been so sanitized and airbrushed and waxed and shaved that I actually heard a young man say he didn’t realize women COULD HAVE public hair. SRSLY.
And I want to say props to Kate, for daring to appear in public as an actual, real human being. She must have known the press would be all over her, so I appreciate that she’s daring the criticism and turning this into a teaching moment.
Your whole first paragraph: HUGE YES!! I totally agree with everything you said and that young man? Egads.
I’ve given birth to two babies now so know this is totally normal but it was a surprise to me the first time round – if I hadn’t had the What to Expect book I’d have packed my normal clothes in my hospital bag! It is sad that other celebrities have not had the confidence to show their beautiful post-pregnancy bodies to the world before spending months on a treadmill. Kudos to Kate for showing women (and men) the world over that this is what a natural, post-partum body looks like – doesn’t she look beautiful? Celebs, take note: she’s more popular than ever among real women for having done so!
Good point about her honesty only increasing the public adoration! And I looooved “What to Expect…” Maybe a little too much, lol.
I’m not into celebrities at all, but could not not see the ubiquitous post-partum picture above, and I thought it’s wonderful that the entire world should see that no, pregnant bellies don’t disappear once the baby’s out.
My cousin commented on my post-partum belly after I had my second baby. She has not kids and was surprised by it.
So many other things we should say and show to future moms, so that they don’t become completely depressed thinking they’re the only one in that situation! We’re been way too hypocrit. Post-partum is tough, and not pretty. Spread the word!
I love that despite the celebrity, the clothes and the makeup artists, Kate is still ready and happy to get out there and be a real person. Perhaps it’s a difference between Britain and North America, but it’s wonderful that she doesn’t feel a need to hide under huge dresses and tummy taming underwear.
I was recently listening to an easy listening radio station in the car with my 6 and 3 year old daughters. I generally feel it’s a pretty safe station to listen to with them, the hosts don’t go off on obnoxious rants as they tend to on rock stations. I couldn’t believe it when two female dj’s started talking about celebrity post baby bodies and who had lost weight faster. This is a radio station that has a massive anti-bullying campaign that goes into local schools to talk to kids. These are women who if asked in person about it, would probably talk about how horrible body shaming is. Yet at 8:30 in the morning with my two impressionable young daughters, they are talking about post baby bodies. I was quite disgusted. I tweeted the station but never heard anything from them.
Yikes! Good for you for tweeting the station- I’m sorry they didn’t answer you. Your girls are lucky to have a mom that will turn off that nonsense. I’m afraid for how many kids just listened to it all and were like… yep.
I can remember the first time I saw the post-baby belly, it was my sister’s. freaked me right out to the point I warned my husband when we went to see her after her second child. But she had a miracle uterus– both times it shrink back up in mere days. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that miraculously nahrinkin uteruses are genetic!
After my first, I waited a whole 24 hours to hop on the scales. How do you give birth to an 8 pound human, plus all that fluid, and come out the other side 5 pounds HEAVIER?????
pitocin can do that…happened to me …twice
Okay this made me giggle. BEEN THERE, girl. And really pregnancy math in general has never made any sense to me…
I wasn’t surprised by her belly (but am so very, very grateful that she isn’t hiding it), but moreso by her walking out of the hospital in those heels (and yes, where is she hiding that giant maxi pad???)! When I had my first in January of this year, I knew my body wouldn’t exactly be “pre pregnancy” (thanks, Google!), but was not prepared for it being a big bowl of jelly and the waddle I still had up to two weeks later. My husband even commented that I was walking like a cowboy that had been riding a horse all day. It was an odd experience that honestly didn’t really sink in until the baby blues were over (I was too busy crying over my hard time breastfeeding and feeling like a failure). I don’t think it helps that birth oftentimes is portrayed as this nightmarish thing in TV and movies, and then us women are given further unrealistic expectations when the magazines plaster Photoshopped post-baby bodies of gorgeous women on their covers.
I know! Breastfeeding was way harder than I thought it was going to be!! For something so “natural” it sure didn’t come naturally to me…
As a royal, I don’t think Kate has a choice NOT to show herself (post birth jiggly belly and all). She’s obligated to be made presentable and go out for folks to gawk at her. Remember the wedding, when William whispered to her “you have to wave”. So if she has to go out, why not be as comfortable as possible (while still being fashionable and all that). So let the belly hang out. Much more comfortable than rolling it up into some spanks.
But now that you mentioned it, I’m crazy curious about the maxi pad, too. Do you think it was making that horrible crackly baby diaper sound as she walked? Good thing the crowds were there to drown out the sound.
(side bar: My sister and I were overcome with horrified laughter at those giant pads. I had a hysterectomy and had to recover in the maternity ward, where those pad gift bags are just on the beds. She kept it and years later we re-discovered it in her bathroom cupboard. We waved it at each other and had a high old time with it before finally throwing it away. Shout out to the giant pad!)
“Do you think it was making that horrible crackly baby diaper sound as she walked?” This (and the story about you and your sister) made me laugh SO HARD. Oh you are awesome. And yes, I bet it was making that crackly noise. How could it not??
Like you, Charlotte, I was not surprised by the pics since my little one is only 13 months old. (Your description of it is MUCH better and funnier than mine though!!) I was and still am surprised though at how much my brain has changed. I am so much more forgetful, slow thinking, meandering, etc…I don’t even really have the words to describe it! That is definitely something I thought would go away by within a few months of having my daughter (if not sooner); I’m beginning to hope it’s just hormones because otherwise I may be stuck with it forever. 🙁 Any insight?
Um… I always say I lost about 10 IQ points with each kid so, yeah. Seriously though, I think all the extra little things that you have to keep track of with kids makes it so much harder. Add in lack of sleep and, well, you saw what happened to me:)
That said, if YOU feel like it’s really out of the ordinary for you then it’s definitely worth checking out. Lots of women have hypothyroid after childbirth and it can cause those symptoms. You could also get your vitamin D, vitamin B12 and iron levels checked as deficiencies in those also can cause mental fog. Last thought is birth control – the Mirena IUD gave me serious ADD. Hormones are tricky things…
Good luck and let me know what you find out!
Like You, I spotted it right away when they walked out of the hospital and I was so happy to see it! I’m 12 weeks out from my second baby and midsection still looks like it’s preparing for winter.
What Kate did was great and whether she knew it or now, she gave new moms some breathing room. Just another reason to love her. Well Done Kate!
My mother was a nurse in the 1940’s, and we had her ancient obstetrical text books around when I was growing up. Back then rural nurses often deliverred babies, sometimes in homes. The texts were focussed on practical information .There was a series of photographic silhouetttes of a real woman through her pregnancy and a few months post partum. Thus armed, I knew I was going to have a belly for some while. Took 9 months to get that stretched out, wouldn’t shrink back overnight!
Yay for obstetrical text books! I love looking through old medical textbooks, journals etc. It always reminds me how much we think we know never changes yet what we know always does;)
Love this!! It is so true and no one ever realises because all we are plastered with is stick thin celebs weeks after birth! She gave birth about 28 hours before and steps out looking radiant! She is a hero!
My first was born in March and I was expecting flat stomach days after delusional I know! I was still wearing my maternity support top by fittamamma in may!! By the way if you are looking for maternity sportswear and supportive wear for pregnancy and post pregnancy I highly recommend this brand! it holds everything in place before and after! Now back into the swing of things but still got a slight mummy tummy, but then I look at my 4 month old shug and say totally worth it!!
Thank you Kate for being the icon we need!
I agree, totally worth all the stretch marks, wonky nipples and the mummy tummy!
I saw the pictures of Kate and thought, “Holy Smokes! She just had a baby and she looks FANTASTIC.” Didn’t even look at her “tummy” until I saw all the ruckus on the internet. Even then I didn’t see much of a bump.
I am expecting my first in just 2 months. I don’t assume I’ll look like a princess right after delivery – but I didn’t consider that I’d still be in maternity wear for some time after. Glad to have seen the comments from other moms. I guess I’ll be rocking my yoga pants for a while after all!
I agree with you. I thought to myself “Wow, as gorgeous as ever. She had her hair done! She’s wearing make-up! She doesn’t even look tired!” I saw her little bump but she stayed so SMALL everywhere that she looks like a supermodel with a fake belly. I’m jealous, haha. I’m also due this fall (in three months) and in spite of only gaining 10 pounds so far I’ve gone up two sizes in both pants and tops. I’d love to look as put-together as she does the day after my son arrives! I’ll be wearing pajamas for weeks though, I’m sure.
yoga pants are seriously the best invention ever!!
I think my favorite part of the picture is the fact that William is holding the baby and seems to already be bonding with him. They both look just so happy to be starting a new family and it is so nice to see.
So true! It was a beautiful moment all around:)
After giving birth the first time I was shocked when my stomach stayed rounded. I wasn’t expected a full deflation, but what I had took me by surprise.
I’m so happy Kate did what she did! This trend of celebumoms (I just made made that up, I think) going into hiding during and after pregnancy is positively Victorian! (Queen, not Beckham). Back then women had to hide because seeing a pregnant belly made people think of sex, and that was taboo. Now women hide because they don’t want to be seen as fat, and THAT’S taboo! *Headdesk*
I love those photos of the 3 of them. They’re a happy, beautiful healthy, beautiful family.
This: “Back then women had to hide because seeing a pregnant belly made people think of sex, and that was taboo. Now women hide because they don’t want to be seen as fat, and THAT’S taboo! ” made me laugh and sigh at the same time. Excellent observation.
As a nurse who has worked on gyne and post-pardum I just had to a huge LOL at the “snowboard sized maxi pad” and mesh panties reference. Seriously just snorted out loud. Love this post, so true. When watching the news at work this picture came on and someone did comment on her belly, following by which she was immediately jumped on by several nurses (and moms) who echoed your sentiment “It doesn’t just disappear immediately!) Worldwide learning opportunity here.
Haha glad you liked that! Seriously those things are SO weird. I mean, they do what they need to do but man they feel like a diaper…
I haven’t had a baby but I knew that you didn’t immediately get your stomach back following delivery but I was surprised by just how big her bump was after delivering. I think it’s great that she wasn’t afraid to show it though!
I’m glad you addressed this: I noticed the bump and assumed it was for the reasons you described, but I was actually surprised by it, as I’ve never been pregnant and I guess as a kid I just didn’t pay close attention to my mom’s body shape when had my younger siblings. So anyway, it is a great example of just how unnatural images in the media are. I’m the least likely person to join the royal fan club that you could find, but I give Kate props for this.
Before I started trying to get pregnant, I knew NOTHING. Wasn’t around when my sis and SIL were pregnant, so no one close to me had gone through it. But when I started TTC, I had a few friends (and officemates) who ahd jsut gone or were going through it…so it was the opposite, I almost knew too much… so no surprise for me.
She looks gorgeous, and so do many, many regular moms who refuse to see what we see. Don’t hide, be proud, I often “tear up” when I see new mommies with their newborns, because of how beautiful they are, never even think of the bellies (though now I will have flash backs to those pads!!!) My faves were the ones that get cold when broken…
I went to the mall 5 days after giving birth (with the baby in stroller) and was surprised how many people asked me how far along I was… but you know, I didn’t hide it 🙂
Ah I will never understand why people do that!!! I had the same thing happen to me at the grocery store. I’m HOLDING my 2-week-old infant and the cashier asks me when I’m due. Are you kidding me?!
I was old enough to remember my youngest two siblings being born, so I was aware by experience of the post-partum belly, though I feel like I intuitively would have known that it can’t just *disappear.*
I would think that they’d make royalty strap down into spanx or something, but to use the word “surprised” would inject a whole lot more emotion into my feelings about the event than appropriate lol
I was not surprised by her belly, I had the exact same thing after my two pregnancies. I am somewhat surprised by the uproar over it, but am glad that she was so open in showing it off. People need to see this and know it is normal!
Kudos to her for appearing publicly (and looking so radiant) on her way home. My first son came early and so we went to my baby shower (hosted by my work colleagues) on our way home from the hospital. I looked horrible in my husband’s previously worn under t-shirt (I forgot to pack a clean shirt for myself!) and my maternity pants (I brought normal pants but of course they didn’t fit). No one told me about the belly jelly thing and I was somewhat embarrassed by it’s obviousness at my shower. Oh well, I was so tired and happy to have a healthy baby, that I got over it pretty quickly.
Other things no one told me: 1) the prolonged postpartum bleeding from the nether regions, 2) that having sex would hurt for more than a year postpartum, 3) that breastfeeding was *really* painful for the first 6 weeks, 4) how your hair falls out in clumps, 5) there must be more but I’m forgetting — oh yeah, I can’t remember a damn thing since having my kids!
Haha I LOVE your list. I’ll give all five a big AMEN, sister. Especially the breast feeding one. For something so “natural” it sure didn’t come naturally to me!
The thing is, not too many of us have to pose for the paparazzi the day after we give birth. I was in a hospital bed for a week, there was no way I was standing.
I didn’t even think about those maxipads – how was she hiding it?
I think she was brave and very lovely and the best thing is I think she and William will raise lovely children the way Diana raised William and Harry.
I wasn’t surprised by Kate’s belly either (I have 3 kids of my own). When I saw the pic of Kate, my first thought was how gorgeous she looked, and I was happy that she’s rockin’ her post-partum body. Soooooo many things surprised me about childbirth the first time around, even things that I should have known better about (like labor is hard work. duh).
Ha, ha, I thought the same thing about the maxi pad! Kudos to Kate! I knew my belly wouldn’t be flat after having my baby (by c-section), but I was shocked that I came out of the hospital weighing more than when I went in. It was two weeks before I could wear shoes or any of my bras.
I have a toddler so I wasn’t surprised at all about her belly (I just went through it last year, but luckily someone warned me about it first!) and I think it’s fantastic that she didn’t try to hide it. She looks beautiful and so happy in all the pictures I’ve seen. 🙂
I love her so much. Everything she does is proper for her standing but still so real. I love that she showed her post baby belly (though I’m with you on wondering how she hid that snowboard size pad, seriously, no one warns you about that!). She looked lovely, but real. Amazing.
I knew this but I was so happy to see her come out & show it & NOT hide it. Hello people, not everyone is like the Hollywood stars that show some perfect body after their 2 months of rigor training with their personal trainer & someone making food for them.. life is not that simple….
The tummy was no surprise to me, having had 2 kids with one on the way. I am surprised that so many people didn’t realize that that is what a post-pregnancy tummy does… I also thought about the enormous plastic maxi pad she had to have been wearing. I am only very glad I never had to pose in front of the world wearing one of those! Those crazy kids looked so lovely, though, didn’t they? Just how new parents should look, enamored, shell-shocked, grateful, tired, overwhelmed, and HAPPY. Lovely. I wish them all the happiness in the world with their little guy. And good on her for not hiding the post baby tummy. Well done. As usual.
It’s odd…I didn’t even register the belly as unusual. Mind you, I’ve never had a baby, but working in a health care setting I’ve seen how some women carry the belly with them for quite a while. Once you mentioned it, yes, I was very happy that Kate just came out, looking happy and radiant and…like a normal mom. So many people focus on losing the baby weight and pretending that the female body just springs back to normal in weeks and if it doesn’t there’s something wrong. That’s just silly.
It was nice to see them looking happy and healthy and normal. I am hoping that others will take the hint and be more relaxed post-baby. If it takes 9 months to grow a belly and baby, it will take some time after to get back to your former self. I figure, enjoy the time for what it is and don’t waste your energy fussing about how you don’t look like you did before…:)
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I was so happy after seeing her, finally someone had dared to be real!!! How simple and honest! She now occupies the vacant spot Princess Diana had left!!!
I already thought Kate was pretty awesome, but this just made me like her that much more! I’m not a mom, but I know what post-delivery bodies look like. And for her to wear a fitted dress like that, rather than hiding it, was just fantastic!
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I loved this post and found the comments section equally reassuring/entertaining! I’ll admit I found this article looking for people with a diastasis recti, where the abdominal muscles are separated and the pregnancy bulge sticks around a lot longer than 9 months post-partum. There ARE exercises that will help. I was glad to see Kate looking like she really had just given birth. But I certainly wouldn’t wish diastasis recti on her or anyone. It’s too bad we don’t hear about it more from celebrities.
Thank you for being knowledgeable enough to mention diastasis recti and abdominal separation. Your article was shared in my private member forum, and we’ve all had a good laugh about it! If you ever want to connect, feel free to email me. I’m the founder of a diastasis-aware fitness site. Love what you have here! Blessings!
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