Yep. This would save me a lot of time in the mornings.
I had an embarrassing moment in the furniture store. This, surprisingly, was a new venue for me. While I’ve humiliated myself in every conceivable way in the gym (mooning, flashing, peeing, vomiting through my nose – you name it, I’ve done it) and my kids have pretty much guaranteed that I can never walk into another grocery store again without PTSD, the furniture store has so far in my life been a safe haven. And I can’t even blame my kids for this one!
My husband had sweetly decided to take me out for a belated birthday dinner so I got dolled up in one of my cute little dresses that used to fit like a glove before the move but now, thanks to some stress eating and the discovery that Target sells my favorite candy ever from when I was in Spain, fits me more like OJ’s glove. But I decided to just go with it and threw on a pair of bow heels along with some confidence and stepped out with my man. After our dinner (mmm… curry!) we decided to swing by the furniture store because we needed a bench and we had no kids to jump on every. single. bed. (Don’t worry, my embarrassing moment does not involve a bed. Thank heavens.)
Once inside the store we acquired an over-zealous salesman who velcro-ed himself to us as we strolled around the store looking for benches with attached coat racks. (Don’t ask, it was my husband’s dream.) One of the super fancy benches even had a full-length mirror built in. I stopped, pulled in by the laser beam of body checking. As I was quickly running down my mental list – makeup? hair? dress not tucked into my undies? – the salesman looked at me in the mirror and exclaimed, “Wow, you look really thin!”
I smiled and blushed a little bit as my husband added, “That’s because she is!” (He is seriously The Best when it comes to weight stuff. He honestly doesn’t notice if I gain or drop 30 pounds. At first I was a little put off by what I thought was him being terribly unobservant but then I realized he really just doesn’t care what I weigh. Not a bit. That’s a gift.)
But just as I was feeling it, the salesman turned to look at me and added, “Wow, that’s a huge difference! I had no idea that mirror could do that! Cool!!” Thankfully he was so busy gushing about how amazing the skinnifying mirror was that he didn’t see me melt into a puddle of curry, embarrassment and delicious tangy candy on the floor.
Stupid skinnifying mirror.
Forget vanity sizing in clothing, the newest trend in pandering to our vanity is sitting on, well, the vanity. A new company called, duh, The Skinny Mirror, is pimping a special mirror made out of slightly concave glass that makes you look just a bit taller and slimmer than you really are, to the tune of about 10 pounds. They say it’s to boost your self esteem. And I suppose if your self esteem is based on how skinny you look (a losing proposition if there ever was one, as evidenced by my furniture store debacle), then I imagine they work. That said, I take exception to these upgraded funhouse mirrors for two reasons:
1. What happens when you go outside and see your reflection in, well, any other reflective surface? Windows, table tops, mirrors in public bathrooms – all warp our bodies in different ways. Some make us look amazing while others make us look one burrito shy of delivering a food baby. Maybe twins. I’m going to make the argument that no mirror gives a 100% accurate version of what we truly look like. So why play games with them on purpose? If you give the Almighty Mirror that much power in the first place then that means that when you see yourself reflected later on in a non skinnyifying glass you’re just going to feel worse about yourself. Who needs that roller coaster?
2. They’re actually not new. Not at all. And it isn’t just furniture stores that trade in lies (LIES I tell you!). Retail stores have been using this trick for years. Whether it’s from actual mirrors glazed to make you look thinner or regular mirrors angled downward (true story: check out the mirrors in popular higher end stores like Banana Republic and Abercrombie & Fitch – the tops are often angled slightly out from the wall, tilting the mirror downward), the effect is the same: a subtle stroke to your ego that yes, you look amazing in their clothes. And not just amazing but better in their clothes than everyone else’s. Hello money! Would you like to just jump from my purse into the till?
This is exactly how I ended up with a very expensive pair of jeans that have those patch pockets stitched on each thigh – a sartorial nightmare for someone whose “trouble” spot (that I’m learning to love but just not in jeans, yet) is her thighs. I remember prancing for a good ten minutes in front of the mirror in the store and admiring how slim and curvy I looked in a style that I never thought I could rock. And then I got home and put them on. Turns out I still couldn’t rock them. Le sigh.
Honestly I can’t see much of a difference between the image on the left and the one in the middle… Although I’m wondering now if the company picked a model that looks a lot like Kate Middleton in her skivvies on purpose?
The Skinny Mirror people, for their part, think they’re doing the public a service. They say:
‘Nothing is more gorgeous than the self-assurance that comes from feeling good in your own skin.
‘The Skinny Mirror compliments you every time you look in it, boosting confidence and improving self-image before you walk out the door,’ they say.
‘It’s the same feeling you get when someone tells you, “You look nice today”.
‘Some customers claim with daily use of The Skinny Mirror, they have become less obsessed with losing weight and more focused on eating healthy and exercising, resulting in healthier and happier weight loss.’
I get what they’re saying. Except that with the skinny mirror I would know it’s an illusion. Hopefully when a friend says I look nice they’re actually telling the truth. Maybe if you didn’t know you had a Skinny Mirror then it would provide that self esteem boost? (Help Wanted: Person, preferably with experience in cat burglary, to sneak into women’s homes and replace mirrors…) Nobody wants a friend that lies to them, right?
As for the bit about it motivating people to eat healthier and exercise more by showing them what they “could” look like, I dunno. I know that kind of motivation works for some people but for me it usually backfires and makes me feel worse that I don’t look as good as I “ideally” could.
What about you – have you ever been tricked by a skinnifying mirror? Do you think it would be fun to own one or would it drive you nuts because you would know it wasn’t true?
And then there’s this version… Apparently it’s an ad for low-fat butter spread? One more reason to stay away from the fake stuff!
Oh no, that is Swedish! It says “Time for a new habit?” and, as you say, it is an ad for a low-fat butter spread. I am embarrassed. It is awful! I have completely forgotten about it (and I would never ever eat that stuff, anyway).
Struggling with my teenager’s eating disorder (which he picked up in USA – the world is small…), we have thrown out the scale, of course. Perhaps we should also throw out the mirrors. I can see how he keeps standing in front of them.
Life with a child with ED is really difficult; how did your family handle yours?
Emma, we had an ED teen at our house too. It was and still is so hard, even though it’s gotten loads better. We hid the scale and got rid of our only full-length mirror. I had to be careful about eating around her since I’m an athlete and thus eat a lot.
I’ve heard some families blocking off most of the mirror with butcher paper, leaving a space big enough for the child to see their face for flossing, hair-brushing, etc but not for checking out their body. Also tape measures can be thrown out if (s)he measures the tummy obsessively.
One trick I’ve learned with my sister (now that she’s gotten a bit better) when we go out is to ask if she wants to share a dessert. It helps her get over the aversion to sweet/unhealthy things and gives her the freedom to have a few bites without feeling pressured or anxious about eating the whole thing. It’s like I get to re-teach her about food: “Isn’t this yummy?”
That salesman would have gotten a smartass comment from me about his bald spot/teeth/height etc (“oh you think? weird, I was too distracted by how big it makes tour bald spot look”) and his commission intentionally given to another salesman. That’s extremely manipulative, presumptuous and rude, when he’s trying to get you to buy something. Sheesh.
And the skinny mirror… Eh. I’m with you, if I know that’s what it’s doing it would basically defeat the purpose.
I’m with Redhead – that salesman is totally clueless! What a dimwit.
The skinny mirror might have the opposite effect on me: Oh, I look great! Time for ice cream! 🙂 I’ll stick with the reality mirror.
Sorry about that sales guy, what an ass!
So I’ve encountered a few “skinny” mirrors in various places; not intentionally, just cheap mirrors that end up a bit concave. There’s one at my mother in laws where we stay frequently.
The sad thing is that even though I KNOW it’s not a true picture, I sometimes find myself posing in front of it and feeling all pleased with myself. But for the effect to be meaningful, I’d need to arrange my life around encountering only misleading reflections of myself–not really a great life plan for encouraging self esteem. I’m usually more likely to ignore mirrors which is also not a great idea, as someone who frequently walks around with spinach in her teeth.
Anyway, dumb product idea but that doesn’t mean people won’t buy it!
Ugh, I hate that skinny mirror in principle. Ick. And I would’ve been silent if a sales guy made that comment about me, but I would’ve ripped one a new one if I heard him say it about my mom/my sister/you.
When I was in high school, the bathroom I used was sans mirror for a while. Other than a quick glance in the school bathrooms, I rarely saw myself in a mirror for maybe six or eight months. I was never preoccupied about acne or how my hair looked or whether my t-shirt was flattering. It was so oddly freeing. To this day I don’t have a full-length mirror in my apartment. I look the way I look, dammit, and no mirror is going to change that.
That salesman acted like an IDIOT!!!!!! YOU have no reason to be embarrassed, but he should be hiding his head in shame!
Seriously, was he raised in a barn? How does he not know that you don’t say that to a woman (and preferably not to a man, either), EVER?!
Grrrr.
If I go into a dressing room and I see a skinny mirror, I usually put the clothes back & walk out. It’s the principle of the thing. Plus, i don’t want to have to make another trip to return it all when I get home and realize it doesn’t look nearly as good as I thought it did. So, yeah, it IS the principle of the thing, but it’s also my inherent laziness.
Funny how people assume all you (anyone) wants to hear is how skinny you (anyone) look(s), Who cares how you look, you are there to buy furniture!
I used to keep a cheap full-length mirror and “set it” on te wall in such a way to make it a sknnyfying mirror…then I would get to work and see my reflection in the front door (the distortioned kind, and I knew, yet still felt like crap looking at it.) So I totally agree with having hte “back-fire effect” once you get to the real thing…
I no longer have full lenght mirrors at home, but need it (sometimes there is something to be said with trying to match top and bottom…mirrors can come in handy in those situations!
anyone else have issues with lighting in dressing rooms? Some stores (laughinlgy, often lingerie or bathing suit stores) have such bad lighting, it “creates” more cellulite than I actually have!!
The sad thing is the model on the far right looks great. We’re supposed to be horrified by someone who looks like that? Throw me in that briar patch. So, basically, the skinny mirror is our very own magical air brushing. Interesting.
All these years I knew that I was right!! I hate that whole trying something on in the store and loving it and then wondering what happened hours/days/weeks later when you wear the outfit!! I pretty much always try things on again at home now!
I have a pretty good sense of self after years of staring at myself in a mirror at ballet and I can usually tell if the mirrors are out of wack. Usually it’s my height not my weight that gives it away. As a short person a mirror that makes me look taller sounds great, but like you and your jeans, I’ve learned that there are things that look great when I’m tall (or wearing my Sunday 5 inch heels) that do not look good when I’m my true height.
I don’t like distorted mirrors. I’d rather look good in real life then in a mirror.
The mirrors around my gym are like fun house mirrors. I know this about them, but I’ve decided I sort of like the ones that have a slimming effect. I know that I am harder on my body and more critical of it than anybody else. I figure the mirrors that have the slimming effect are probably more realistic to how others see me.
I did have that experience flattering mirrors at lululemon. I tried on pants there and I swear I looked 10lbs lighter. Bought them and brought them home–not so much.
Meh. I can usually tell if the mirror is off and it’s never really bothered me. That guy saying what he did to me would really have made me angry though – how rude. I would have let him know how he made me feel and if I did buy something, ring the sale through another salesman.
Mind you I look more hippy like the woman in the unflattering mirror, so when I suddenly look super sleek I know something is up. I’ve always been hourglassy. I like “me”…but dislike when I try on clothes and they don’t look like they actually do. I don’t shop at a few stores (like our local Gap) because they use skinny mirrors…
Your husband is the best! What a blessing!
And the sales guy, is well, a big idiot!
My mirror at home makes me look shorter and fatter… I was starting to get worries (a result of my ED recovery I guess?) So I did what any good blogger would do (sarcasm here) and took a selfie to compare to last year. And yes I still look the same.
Phew!
What kind of candy?!
Stepping on the scale, staring at the mirror, they’re only a reflection of who we are, and they are deceptive. I am constantly fighting the obsession to look at both. I think they have their place, but we have to remember that the guy/girl looking back at you, is not you. And the # on the scale, that’s not a true measurement of your bodyfat %. Getting a skinny mirror, in my opinion, would probably only exacerbate the problem. It’s just not accurate information, neither is a non-skinny mirror for that matter.
I suppose I could vow to throw both out, but you and I know, that will never happen. I confess to using both, but at least try to consider the biofeedback with a mindful, sophisticated eye.
I recently got into yoga – it’s my favorite place to be these days. And one of the things I love about it is that I have to look at myself in the mirror, often. Bear with me, here. I have to look to adjust my form, because I’m a yogic mess. Yeesh. So I spend all this time looking and adjusting my knee, or tucking my pelvis, and it’s all judgment-neutral. “There’s my body, and if I want to do this pose, I need to move this bit in this direction.”
The other day I positioned myself in front of a seam in the mirror, and the way the two halves come together, I looked SLAMMIN’ HOT. Well, a few millimeters smaller. Whatever. However, it also messed with my visual perception of angles and left me completely confused about what I was doing. By the end of the class, I was hating that mirror and its stupid distortion.
Once I thought about that a little, I kind of felt like a superhero.
So I was watching cracking your genetic code on Netflix and it talked about the DNA test you had done. You should watch it.
I feel so naïve! No wonder when you get it home it just doesn’t look as good. So what are those Y mirrors made of? They really scare me!
I am pretty sure Ann Taylor Loft has a version of skinny mirrors in their dressing rooms plus very flattering lighting. Everything I put on there makes me look very skinny plus they have vanity sizing. Its fun until you get home….. hmm, come to think of it- I am hugely pregnant now maybe I should stop in for a little skinny feeling fantasy? 😉
No skinny mirror for me! I want to look in the mirror and see accuracy.
A. What an asshole!
B. I have a “skinny” mirror in my garage gym. It’s a cheapo $5 mirror that’s slightly bent and it makes me look awesome. But then I get just a little sad when I look in any other mirror.
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