This is a real thing – it’s a game (well, more of a dare, really) from Jelly Belly called Beanboozled where you basically play Russian Roulette with sugar. Of course we bought it. My boys thought it was the most hilarious thing ever.
It all started with a bag of Sweetart jelly beans and a handful of chocolate chips. Well, actually it started last night when I stayed up all night with a sick kiddo. (Nobody likes to puke alone, I get it, but I’m telling you there’s nothing worse than waking up to someone with the Purple Burps breathing into your face.) Okay, technically it started last weekend when I had 7 articles due and twice as many experts to interview. Or maybe it was last week when my son decided that instead of going to bed like I’d told him, instead he would fall on a staple (A TINY METAL STAPLE) and need stitches at 10 o’clock at night. No wait, I suppose it really started 11 years ago when my first child was born. Whatever. My point: I am severely sleep deprived. (Oh and CURSE YOU daylight savings time!)
Insomnia is not my problem – I’m practically a narcoleptic triggered by pillows – it’s just that nobody around here wants to let me sleep. Not even my cat. But today has been worse than normal. After clocking just two short hours of sleep, I was up for the day with a seven-year-old who thinks just because he’s awake at 5 a.m. that that means the day starts at 5 a.m. Puberty will fix that, I’m sure, but in the meantime I’m stumbling around the house in a fog trying to remember if I have to cook Cheerios.
After doing the morning eat-brush-backpack-school ritual – complete with a rousing game of Mom, Where Are My Pants? – and volunteering at the my son’s classroom since that’s the only way I can ensure he turns in his homework, I finally sat down to eat my totally unappetizing breakfast of oatmeal and eggs. Cold. It was in that moment of weakness the first craving hit. I wanted candy. The straighter the sugar, the better. Did you know it’s Jelly Bean season??
“Ah,” my brain quickly observed, “you are exhausted and so you are seeking the sweet sweet love of simple carbs!” My brain is smart. My flesh? Not so much. I grabbed a handful, just sniffing their over-processed sickeningly sweet aroma. “Don’t do it!” my brain screamed. “Don’t fall for his slick come-on! He’ll lift you up just to drop you like a rock once the fun is over! It’s the carbohydrate version of a late-night booty call!” My daughter fell off her stool and started screaming just as my editor called. I popped a jelly bean as I stared at my phone. “It’ll only make you feel good for a second! And then you’ll feel like crap.” my brain nagged. Ah, what a rush! “Remember what happened last time you did this!” my brain cried frantically in one last ditch effort to save me from myself. “It doesn’t have to be this way!” I ate the candy. “You slut.”
Sure enough, I rode the blood sugar coaster of doom all morning long, barely making it to lunch where I decided I would atone for my confectionery transgressions with a healthy meal. Plans changed however when a dear friend showed up for a surprise visit. The afternoon quickly passed with much laughter but without food. By the time she left I was cross-eyed with weariness. And then it was time to do the whole morning routine again, but in reverse, with an hour-long “Your child is a problem” meeting tacked on after. The second we got home I dropped to the couch and closed my eyes. Ten minutes later my oldest two were standing over me with their scout shirts on. “Time to go, mom!” They were right. And I hadn’t even started dinner. Curse the teacher who taught them how to tell time.
What’s a healthy snack to grab on the go? Almonds? Fruit? Jerky? Jelly beans and chocolate chips of course! I guiltily washed it down with a piece of celery one of my kids had left on the table. My fate was sealed. Today had officially become a Jelly Bean Day. In case you missed the festivities last time around, that would be the celebration of all things sugar that lasts all day, finally culminating in a grand symphony (candy bar pun intended) of screaming, crying and then a sugar coma.
I should know better. I knew exactly why I was craving all that sugar – everyone knows that being tired gives you mad cravings. There’s quite a bit of research to back up that connection between sleep deprivation and junk food cravings. One study found that people who got less than 6 hours of sleep ate about 500 more calories the following day than they normally would. And those calories weren’t gigantic salads. Explained the UC Berkley scientists: “Sleep deprivation increases the activity of deeper, primal brain regions that respond directly to rewards. The combination of increased primal drives and reduced executive function of the frontal lobes creates a double-whammy that makes people more likely to reach for potato chips and pizza than leafy greens or lean meats.”
And I knew exactly what I should have done to remedy the situation – eat a meal with protein and healthy fat and take a nap. I even knew exactly what was going to happen because of my actions – half-functional, fully cranky mom time. So why didn’t I do the right thing? Because apparently being tired also makes me a poor decision maker.
Yet as I sit here writing this whole pity party out I realized that I still have one big decision left to make: how I’m going to make myself feel about this. I was already halfway down the street to Shameville when I started but reading back over this I realized that I had a bad day. It happened. But it’s just one day. And the sugar, while regrettable, wasn’t the worst thing I could have done. In fact, it was pretty delicious. The best thing to do now is to let it go, get to bed and have a better day tomorrow. Adding self-recrimination to this formula will not only make today worse but it will set me up to fail next time this situation happens (and oh it will!) because I’ll already believe that I’m weak and can’t handle it. I can handle this. I did handle this. Everyone’s still alive – and sometimes that’s good enough.
Anyone else have a “jelly bean day” today? What’s your crutch when you’re exhausted? What do you tell yourself when you have a bad day with food?
Charlotte, hopefully you’re not reading this til tomorrow (Cue song from ANNIE).
Lets see, today you were productive and accomplished AND you made a deliberate candy bar pun.
You are lacking sleep in the long term, and you dealt admirably with the days (and night’s) activities although weary in mind body and spirit.
Then you were confronted by THE CHALLENGE OF SWEETS, wherein you faced off against the GODZILLA of temptations armed only with…
…rubber bands.
You did dutifully shoot your entire arsenal of rubber bands at the giant monster GODZILLA level temptation, but your better judgement went down in flames and GODZILLA prevailed.
None the less a valiant effort.
Lost the battle but not the war.
The Rock – Dwayne Johnson, has an epic heart-attack inducing cheat day that staggers the imagination and makes a blood sugar monitor cringe in fear. He survives it all just fine.
And you will also live to fight another day!
Notes were taken, and you now have a smattering of elemental strategy.
And far less sweets to deal with tomorrow!
Congrats!
By the by I do solid chocolate Easter Bunnys. SOLID chocolate. I buy a few to spread out over time and last.
HA!
I eat a bite, then carefully wrap it, so will have another bite tomorrow.
HA!
What REALLY happens is that I take a small reasonable bite of the ear of the Solid Chocolate Easter Bunny, shove the Solid Chocolate aside while focusing elsewhere, and then suddenly there is NOT enough remaining for a CSI to find a trace of.
Except on my breath.
Ah see, chocolate bunnies are 100% safe around me!
…But you will note that it IS Easter candy that gets BOTH of us.
I don’t know how you kept going without food and did all your parental responsibilities. That’s amazing to me. I also don’t know how anyone can have sugary treats in their house and not eat them all, all the time. I can’t, even under the best of circumstances. Willpower depletion is tough. I don’t even keep brown sugar in the house because it’s so tasty on its own. And I go through protein bars way too quickly if I buy them. Protein shakes, even the sweet ones, are safe around me.
Ah thanks Janet! And good point about “willpower depletion” – that’s totally a thing! I would totally eat brown sugar on a spoon.
Kindred spirits! I’ve on many occasions resorted to brown sugar when a craving hits and I have nothing sweet in the house. I’ve also been known to quickly mix some with a bit of butter and vanilla and just eat it. And my husband does not hesitate to let me know how gross that is 😀
Um, hello – doesn’t your husband know that brown sugar, butter and vanilla are the basis for like every cookie dough recipe ever?! Delish.
Good for you for letting go of the shame. You’re right, really not the worst thing you could have done. And no matter how hard on yourself you are about your candy transgressions, you can’t re-do the day, so why spend the time beating yourself up?
I don’t think I’ve ever had a sleep deprivation-induced candy day, at least not in the past several years that I can remember. I’ve really gotten away from candy in general over the past 6 or 7 years and it’s hardly ever appetizing to me anymore. My mom will still send me Easter candy or give me candy at Christmas that will sit in our pantry for months and months, completely ignored and unnoticed. Then one day I’ll get a hankering for some refined sugar and I’ll tell myself I will have just a handful of jelly beans, why waste them? And then suddenly half the bag is gone, I’m left with a crazy stomach ache, a gross feeling mouth, and the too-familiar familiar shame and regret.
When I’m crazy tired like that I try to eat some fruit periodically to keep my blood sugar up, or a handful of almonds if I have them, but I usually end up turning to a granola bar with nuts in it (not the best choice, I know, but I’m usually not home when these situations arise). I have the suspicion that I snack more on those things when I’m really tired just trying to keep myself awake and alert enough to perform the tasks at hand.
“And then suddenly half the bag is gone, I’m left with a crazy stomach ache, a gross feeling mouth, and the too-familiar familiar shame and regret.” YEP YEP YEP. I like your suggestions – esp the nuts!
Im always stunned this isnt me.
and wonder if I really am HARD WIRED SALTY?!
I so so so crave the salty when tired.
Ah, yes, potato chips are 100% safe in my house! Well, from me anyway lol.
Well I’ll be in the same boat today. My brain doesn’t turn off or take a break at night. I made the mistake on not taking my meds when I realized it was going to be a LONG night. I know I slept but no idea how long or consistently. Woke up craving coffee… Sign #1 it’s going to be a long day. No kids of my own but I will be babysitting tonight.trying to stay on the healthy wagon today but allow myself a bagel… Or two…
Oh I hope your day got better and you are already in bed now:)
Oh how I remember those days… Is it wrong to be grateful we all made it through, essentially intact? On those days, if you could walk from the front door to the back door without tripping, find a relatively clean vessel to drink from, and there were no blood splatters… it was a win. Go to bed and try again tomorrow. (And pay dh to hide the candy!)
hahah no wrong at all! Someday I hope to be smiling from the same vantage!
I am definitely hungrier and crave sugar when I am tired! Luckily, this does not happen often, so I don’t really fret if I have a “sugary” day.
Love your attitude, Megan!
The jelly bean may only make you feel good for a second, but sometimes you need that second.
I noticed years ago that when I get overtired I want to eat. I used to wonder if was my body’s way of trying to get extra energy. And of course, what I want to eat is usually junky carbs. Not so much candy for me though, unless it’s chocolate; I am more likely to go for crunchy and salty.
Thank you for this: “The jelly bean may only make you feel good for a second, but sometimes you need that second.” Very kind and true:)
My now 11-year-old daughter was the WORST sleeper as a baby and I dragged myself through each day with her and her two-year-old sister by plowing through those wickedly tasty Girl Scout cookies. Tag-a-longs are my personal favorite–eating them now reminds me of quickly downing a few before nursing a crying baby. (I enjoy them much more now!)
True story: I used to bribe myself with candy to get up at night to nurse my babies. Oy. Motherhood is tough.
This has been my week…between terrible evil daylight savings time plus some middle of the night ridiculousness I’ve been exhausted and craving sugar. For me that comes in the form of cupcakes, frosting and candybars. I’ve had some success because I’m also in the middle of a mini-stay-away-from-the-work-candy bowl challenge. If I can keep my fingers out of the candy bowl as well as the other extra co-worker sweets for two weeks I get a to buy myself a book I want. For me one piece of sweet something leads to my downfall and I either crave or pig out on sugar for the rest of the day. Exhaustion doubles up my desire for sweets.
This: “. For me one piece of sweet something leads to my downfall and I either crave or pig out on sugar for the rest of the day.” is so true for me too.
I definitely use sugar as a pick me up when I am feeling frazzled, and/or depressed. Not so much when I am sleep deprived. I think I got about 2 hours of non consecutive sleep per night when my twins were newborns until they were about 12 weeks and really I felt too tired to bother with food. Heck, I wasn’t even sure what day it was half the time. I know using sugar for an emotional boost is nothing a shrink would condone but sometimes you just have to do what gets you by, chalk it up as a craptacular day, and move on. Hope you get some sleep.
TWINS. I can’t even imagine. You’re a tough mama.
Definitely! Between not sleeping much over the last week (not for lack of trying!), an emotional birthday for me and for our little one who was born still, avoiding the sugar has been a challenge. I have still had some, tho not as much as I ordinarily would. Part of what helps is knowing that I am in the middle of a T-Tapp 60 Day Challenge and I want good results! But still, I want that sugar!
Oh honey! Huge hugs to you for your little one’s anniversary. I know how tough those days are. And good luck on your challenge!
If you were really tired, and decided to hang a picture, and were trying to hammer a nail into the wall… And then smashed your thumb with the hammer because you were trying to talk to the kids and keep your eyes open and whatever else… Would you be really sorry that you’d done it? Yeah, probably, because that hurts and then makes it harder to get anything else done! But would you feel guilty? No. It was just an error (due to the circumstances) with natural consequences. Smashing your thumb isn’t any kind of moral failing and neither is eating jelly beans. It’s just that neither is conducive to an optimal day 😉
I do exactly the same thing. And get really annoyed when I get sucked into the sugar spiral and discover that the more sugar I eat, the less productive and organized I get.
Laura — that’s a really insightful response. I like your parallel between hitting your thumb and eating jelly beans. very profound. thanks, ann
I love that analogy, Laura! An excellent point and a good reminder to not moralize food. And this: ‘And get really annoyed when I get sucked into the sugar spiral and discover that the more sugar I eat, the less productive and organized I get.” SO true.
Oh man, Jelly Belly made an official game of the one my brother used to play with those Harry Potter beans. I have fond memories of sitting at a red light, my brother passing my dad an unknown bean, and most of it going out the car window when it was something nasty.
Anyhow. I know those jelly bean days all too well. For me I just generally overeat when I’m tired, not specifically sugar. And then I feel bloated and uncomfortable and worse because I’m still tired but also feel gross. I just try to shut my brain off when I have a bad food day. Nothing good is going to come out of obsessing over it and I know I’ll instinctively eat better the next day so I just try not to think about it.
Hahah your dad sounds awesome!
Yes I totally do this. My daughter pretty much didn’t sleep through the night for 3 years & once I’m awake I find it really hard to go back to sleep (I think it’s my age!). There has been more than a few times that I’ve looked down at my cart in the grocery store & thought “the cashier is going to look at all this crap & think I’m bulimic”…..but even this realisation didn’t make me put any of the chocolate, cookies, cupcakes, ice-cream etc back (or the bread & chips for that matter).
As someone who was a cashier for a while I’m guessing they weren’t judging your cart! I only noticed when someone put something really weird on the belt.
Well, it was kind of meant as a joke but never mind.
Oh sorry! I’m still really tired… obviously;)
Me? I crave the salt when I’m tired. And with chemo I am tired a lot…and it took me a while to find some things that hold me over when it gets nuts…especially when raw veg are off limits sometimes due to immunity.
Currently I am the queen of almonds, sorbet, tea, rice cakes and apples. 🙂
How much more chemo do you have left? I didn’t know that about raw veggies but I guess it makes sense. I like your list of fun foods! I will always love rice cakes.
One left! Then surgery. I cannot wait to be done 🙂
Yayayayayay! That is great news! Keep me posted on how it goes – you are in my thoughts/prayers:)
So happy to read your second to last paragraph! It’s never good to start talking about food in moral terms (temptation, slut, etc). It is what it is: fuel.
Very true and something I need to be reminded of!
OK, my first reaction was….Well Duh!….It took me a long time to realize there was a connection between overtired and the desire for sugar consumption….way longer than it should have taken. But when one is sleep deprived… 🙂
Hahah it is kind of a “duh” thing!
Oh yes…I can completely empathize. I think every now and then we do have to splurge a bit and treat ourselves with a deliciously sugary teat. I usually do about once a week or every 2 weeks or so. As long as I’m eating healthy greens, lean meats, etc. and staying active…I think the occasional treat is important and I never feel guilty about it. The guilt comes in when I’m treating myself to sugar consistently…multiple times a week. Like the holidays. Wow. Seems like from Halloween to Thanksgiving then Christmas and New Year’s…it’s nothing but a food fest…with so many sugary sweets laying around. And when I do indulge a little more than I usually do…I just make the commitment to myself to get back on the healthy train ASAP. Can’t believe about Beanboozled. How funny! No rotten jelly beans for me! 🙂
Yeah, I totally get this: ” The guilt comes in when I’m treating myself to sugar consistently…multiple times a week. ” When I feel like the treat is truly a treat – special dessert at a restaurant or whatever – I really enjoy it but when I’m mindlessly shoveling in cheap sugar… guilt.
You will be fine, dear. You’re right. You had a bad day. You ate some sugar. That is not even close to being a shameful couple of sentences. I have 3, yes, 3 sick kiddos and slept in half-hour increments last night. My crutch of choice today: butter rum cake with earth balance soy-free naturally buttery spread on it. Also, tortilla chips with vegan nacho cheez. Sweet, salty, crunchy, fatty, delicious. But it’s OK. We’ll get through this sleep deprivation and back to normal. You are a bastion of willpower and good mom-edness. Also,was that a Lego movie reference? (You have 3 boys so I’m assuming you’ve seen the Lego Movie.) Everything is awesome….
It WAS a Lego movie reference! We saw it for my second son’s bday lol. And now the kids are singing it nonstop. I hope your kiddos (and YOU) feel better soon!! Butter Rum cake sounds amazing.
LOL it’s so true! I’ve been trying to catch back up on sleep since since going to a late night Aves game on Monday night. Sure they won in over time, but the craving for sweets has been slightly more powerful.
Thanks for the reminder Charlotte and with the nice weather coming on the offer for a playground workout is still on the table 🙂
Goodness I have had awful days and eaten probably 500 calories more than usual and I’m constantly trying to figure out how to get more sleep. But haven’t really made the connection between the two. Thanks for the links and information….I’ll have to see if that correlation holds true for me. As for sugar splurge? My biggest problem is that my husband, cooped up this winter from his typical outdoor sporting pursuits, has taken up the hobby of “making” chocolate and keeps giving me testers to try out. The problem is if I give in to 1 it means I want 5…can’t wait to get him back to fishing instead this spring!
Sugar oh sugar. I am currently experimenting an attitude towards food. I am pretty bulky but as per my BMI it is on the below border of obese to Healthy. Now my eating habbits are crap. I can live on anything. Yesterday I tried with Sandwiches for three times. Today I am going mix of fruit and drinks and corn flakes. Started feeling it dizzy already. is it my mind or my Body?