Tutus are kind of my thing – so much so that when I moved from Minnesota last year my gym buddies threw me a going away workout party where everyone wore tutus. (They even wrote “We’ll miss you tutu much!” on the mirrors in marker!) I have them in every color and I’ve worn them during more races and workouts than I can count. Yeah they’re not the most practical workout attire but they’re fun and they always make me laugh.
But not everyone loves tutus, as evidenced by Self magazine’s #tutugate last week when they mocked two women running a marathon in superhero tutus. They posted this pic in their “BS meter” section, calling the trend “lame”:
“A racing tutu epidemic has struck NYC’s Central Park, and it’s all because people think these froufrou skirts make you run faster,” the mag quipped. “Now, if you told us they made people run from you faster, maybe we would believe it.”
Turns out that Wonder Woman, aka Monika Allen, is currently suffering from an inoperable brain tumor, was undergoing chemo and designs the tutus through her company Glam Runner which donates the proceeds to charity. Oh and she still ran a marathon. They might as well have mocked Mother Teresa for liking kids too much. And then kicked a puppy.
To make matters worse, when Allen was asked for permission to use her picture in the magazine she wasn’t told how they were planning on using it. She was flattered and excited… until she saw it in print. Disappointed and feeling tricked, she posted it to her Facebook where it quickly went viral.
Self’s editor-in-chief Lucy Danziger responded by apologizing but it struck many people as insincere, as she seemed to feel bad about making fun of people with cancer but still saw nothing wrong with making fun of, you know, just people. It was a perfect demonstration of the hypocrisy in our modern media culture’s use of features that snark on people, celebs and regular folks alike.
To her credit, Danziger then pulled the BS Meter section (good riddance) from the mag entirely and made a donation to Glam Runner as well as promoted them on Self’s site. Allen herself said she was happy with the result (and all the increased business). But was an apology enough? Apparently not as Danziger was just fired. Was it because of #tutugate or just an unfortunate coincidence? The mag isn’t saying but it does seem to be related.
This got me thinking about apologies – when is saying “I’m sorry” not enough? Obviously when you bump someone on the subway a muttered “excuse me” is fine. But when you do something bigger — like make fun of a dying girl doing an altruistic deed — what else is warranted?
Firing Danziger feels like overkill to me. It was definitely an awful thing to publish but as a writer who has said many a regrettable thing in print myself, I feel for anyone who makes a mistake of this nature. We seem to enjoy excoriating people for public gaffes like this, often forgetting how often we make them ourselves. I’m not excusing the mag’s behavior but at the same time sometimes social media feels like a tidal wave, crushing everything in its path with no regard to life or limb. Even in situations where it seems that good is prevailing, like in the case of the hacker group Anonymous’ involvement in the Stubenville rape case, when it washes out the details aren’t nearly so black and white. I don’t know.
What I do know is this: An incident might not always end because of an apology but it should always start with one. (And preferably not one of those lame sorry-not-sorry ones.) Thankfully I don’t have a hard time apologizing, usually. If anything I err too far on the other side, apologizing for things I’m not remotely responsible for. I also know that every time I’ve had to swallow my pride and say I’m sorry that it has made me that much more appreciative of when people do the same for me.
So what do you think of #tutugate? Insulting or no big deal? Did Self do enough to fix the situation or do you agree with Danziger’s firing? When is an apology not enough?
I definitely think SELF made a mistake but I’m really torn over the firing of the editor — on the one hand how many times have we all made similar assumptions or mistakes? On the other hand, as a journalist I know how completely easy it would have been to ask for a bit of context when they first reached out to Monika for permission to run the photo. Then the decision would have been an easy one…
G.K. Chesterton, a writer I very much respect said: “A stiff apology is a second insult.”
Many people use such a “lame sorry-not sorry” apology (as you called it Charlotte) as a kind of layered assault.
Hit them, then hit them again, the second hit being under the guise of verbally stating remorse.
Only…not actually being remorseful.
Lucy Danzinger, on the surface seemed contrite: said the right things, did right things.
So either her bosses deemed her insincere, or they really wanted to distance themselves from her. Both of these suggested circumstances being sad in their own way.
If she was actually sincere, then she has been done a grave disservice.
If she was not sincere, then her only remaining option is politics.
Quote:
“I wouldn’t want to mislead you by doing other than saying however easy it would be for me to answer the question you have asked, it is not fair for me to go further than I have. And I would not read too much into that.”
Close quote.
[Ian McDonald – Ministry of Defence spokesperson 1982]
That squat looks like he is Preparing to Leap. That’s how I would remember it.
Not transfixed by the Pistorious case.
No one should ever shoot “blindly”. That’s the first rule of shooting. Especially if you know there is someone nearby you don’t want to shoot.
I think the firing of the editor has to do more with the initial handling of the situation than the situation itself. When they did apologize, they apologized for mocking someone with cancer, instead of for the insensitivity of the piece itself. Obviously the situation was made worse by the fact that Monika is fighting a battle with cancer, but that shouldn’t be the impetus behind the apology. There are many other women who wear tutus who run, would they have apologized to them too? That being said, I don’t know how I feel about the Danzinger situation (but I do know how I feel about #tutugate).
I love your titles, don’t ever change them.
I think SELF magazine is a joke (mostly full of articles about cute hairstyles and “how do I get my boyfriend to do what I want” but pretends to be a fitness magazine — and by “fitness,” they mean 3 lb weights and Zumba and nothing else) and, as an athlete, if I were approached by them to use my photo or a quote, I’d refuse. That said, what they did to this woman was awful, and their hollow backtracking apology added insult to injury. When I’m at the dentist, I choose to read trash like “Us” or “Star” before I’d pick up a copy of SELF.
I don’t know if firing her was the right move or not. What struck me about SELF’s response, though, was that they didn’t respond to Monika’s concerns until after the issue went viral, rather than responding more immediately when she contacted them prior to her Facebook post regarding their underhanded tactics in securing her permission to use her picture in the first place.
It just makes me sad. No one should be poked fun of in a national magazine, no one should be misled when asked for permission to use a photograph, and when you add the cancer and charity issues on top of it all… it was just bad. And the particular apology delivered, which focused more on the cancer and charity while barely touching on the public shaming aspect, wasn’t enough.
I’m really torn on this too. My biggest concern wasn’t even all the obvious stuff (the cancer, the amazing person, the charity– which those were big concerns, don’t get me wrong) but the fact that this is a magazine that is all about living a healthy, active lifestyle criticizing people who are doing things to live a healthy, active lifestyle. While firing an editor is a very strong form of punishment, the magazine seems to have completely forgot its purpose. And the editor is 100% responsible for that.
I have so many feelings about this. First of all, my husband has a brain tumor, and due to seizures, he is unable to run at all let alone a marathon. The fact that Monika does this is so inspiring to us! I just can’t imagine being in her position, brain tumor or not, and opening up Self- a magazine that should PROMOTE women, and see myself being made fun of for wearing a tutu. The girls was running a marathon!!!! Who cares what she was wearing!!!???? As for the firing, did it go too far? I’m not sure. As an editor, she is responsible for what goes in the magazine. I hope if anything, whoever they hire next will promote women rather than bash them for something as silly as wearing a tutu. Stupid articles like those are why I no longer read magazines anymore. There is no substance in them and I feel like I am being talked down to.
I remember reading about this and going…”wow that sucks” for both the cancer patient/ tutu wearer and for the editor who had the bad luck to pick a tutu pic of someone with cancer and a nonprofit company. Like you said with mocking Mother Teresa…
I think making fun of people who are having honest fun is in poor taste and seems a little “mean girl” but I don’t think she should have lost her livelihood over it. People make mistakes.
I think the apology and Danziger’s actions were sufficient. Firing didn’t have to happen. Why not give her the chance to do some good with her position? And I think people went overboard on the outrage factor–yes, it was egregious. But as with any situation like this, we have to respond in a way that isn’t equally as ugly or else, how are we any better?
I don’t think there is enough info to judge whether or not the firing was justified. She might have been on the cusp of losing her job anyway and this was the last straw, or she could have handle it really badly internally, like she may have shown that she didn’t learn anything from the incident.
It’s all about selling magazines and, unfortunately, Self seems to have taken on the attitude of every other piece of pop culture: To get readers, one must behave like a snarky, spoiled teenager. It’s everywhere, in commercials, on “news” stations, entertainment “reporting.” Particularly as it concerns women. What happened here was in bad taste all around, and bad judgement was used in every case. I guess we’ll see if firing this particular editor will make any difference, or if Self will continue down the same path of cynicism and snark.
I just wish everyone in publishing/broadcasting/advertising would grow up! Honestly, it’s like watching your parents trying to fit in with your friends when you’re 15 years old.
Azusmom, I love your comment, “like watching your parents trying to fit in with your friends…” This is exactly how I feel about many popular mags, just could not put it to words as well as you did!
Maybe I’m a dying breed, but I think people can learn from their mistakes and change!
In many ways, a changed person has a stronger desire to do good than others who haven’t had to face such a situation.
I guess I’m glad that humanity evolved the ability to apologize.
I think that the firing is probably justified, because the editorial tone was set by Ms Danziger, snark and all. She approved ambush tactics and schoolyard bullying, and I think the magazine needs new leadership. Of course, I haven’t read Self in years, since I realized it was intended to create a readership of insecure minions striving to hew to unrealistic expectations!
Well, I don’t really have an opinion on SELF, because I don’t read it. As for the editor, it was a really lame call to judge people running in tutus. Who cares what they’re wearing? They’re cute as hell IMO.
On the other hand… Logically, SELF is a narcissistic endeavor, right? Based on the name? And as anyone who has had dealings with a narcissist knows, they love to put other people down. So the judgment wasn’t really out of character, I suppose. Maybe they should change the name of the magazine if they don’t want to promote narcissistic attitudes.
I am hoping she was fired for the underhanded way she obtained permission to use the photo.
I’m reminded of this quote: “Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world.”(-Frank Warren).
I’m torn over the firing. On one hand, people make mistakes. This was a doozy. On the other hand, as has been brought out above, the editor sets the tone of the magazine. Self is pretty anemic on the fitness and bloated on the typical women’s mag drivel.
The thing I was appalled at was the social media firestorm that took place. People took to the internet to, not just express their outrage, but to do exactly the thing they were railing against. Instead of meaningful, thought-out comments explaining why it was in such poor taste and why the tutu wearer was such a great person it was post after post of expletive-laden, hateful comments. I wa shocked at the vitriol and bullying tone of many of them. I’m guessing that that was the death-knell of the editor. There were thousands calling for her head. Sometimes literally. The magazine as a business is on tenuous ground as it is and I imagine the publishers were not excited to see they were hemorrhaging readers due to the editor’s decision to mock a cancer victim running a marathon, thus the decision to cut the editor loose. Damage control. I don’t know if it was warranted. It seems harsh, especially since the person who was wronged was cool with the editor’s apology…
It’s possible the firing was coming down the pipeline anyway for other matters. A situation like this one would have made sealing that deal a bit simpler. Some people are real pain in the arses to work with and they’re in a permanent position of one foot in the door and one foot out.
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