And I’m not talking about on the dance floor. Well except for Middle School. But nobody counts Middle School, right? No, I am a biological freak. Specifically, my left foot is a size 8.5 and my right is a 7.5. That’s right – a whole size different. It’s a miracle I can walk without toppling over (somebody start the telethon!).
I’m not alone in this. 60% of the population have mismatched tootsies with 80% of those people having a left appendage of unnatural length. So I’m going to assume that a lot of you are beautiful little freaks as well (and you know I mean that with love).
You would think that a little extra toe-age wouldn’t be a problem – it’s actually a bonus when I play the legless piano or shoot hoops with my feet – until you go shoe shopping. Just like every other girl, I’m willing to endure a certain amount of pain for cute shoes. But those cute shoes only have to last an evening (less if the restaurant has long tableclothes so I can kick them off under the table). Athletic shoes are an entirely different matter. A small pain when you put them on can sideline you by the end of your workout.
In the past, I have compromised by buying the mathematical average: a size 8. This leaves my left foot a titch scrunched and my right foot a smidge unsupported but overall it’s liveable. I was okay with this.
Until this weekend. I took my son to the Mall of America for his 4th birthday (What? They have a whole amusement park in there!) and, being 4, he had to go potty righthisveryminute. We were in front of a shoe “wearhouse” so that’s where we ducked in. The bathrooms were located twenty miles to the back of the store, which I sprinted carrying a 50-lb child (yes, he’s big for his age), behind all the clearance racks. So while child number 2 took a leisurely number 2 – twenty minutes, people – child number 1 and I tried on shoes.
It was then I had my epiphany. I found a whole shelf of clearanced athletic shoes so while child 1 experimented with blue, jeweled stillettos, (“I can’t run fast in these, mommy” “Exactly right son, it’s just one way society hobbles women. Don’t worry, you’ll learn more ways as you get older.”) I tried on mismatched shoes. And it was niiiiiice. My feet didn’t even know what to think of their newfound joy. They did cheerleader jumps all of their own accord. They tap danced and I don’t even know how to tap. It was amazing.
Now before you get your e-mail all fired up, I know that there are places one can buy mismatched shoes – like the really upscale running stores. But I am nothing if not cheap (a fact that endeared me to many a college boyfriend). So cheap, in fact, that I wouldn’t even buy two pairs of clearanced shoes to keep my feet jumping for joy. Well, that and they were New Balance. I hate New Balance.
But now that I’ve seen what life could be, well, I just can’t stop thinking about foot bliss. What’s a freak to do? No, seriously, I want to know what you all do.
PS> No, he didn’t fall in the toilet. He was enraptured with the urinals. I finally had to send a store employee in after him. He thought the grimy “waterfalls” were better than the Diego Bus Ride that I paid $2.17 for him to ride. Kids.
Oh
My
GOSH.
where to start?!
you make me laugh, woman.
no great shoe-size dilemma answers but the “one way society hobbles woman” line? priceless.
your next experiment? to convince all us bloggers to convince our MENFOLK (brothers/dads/husbands etc) to spend a day in heelhell.
go forth and take on the menfeet.
M.
That is the cutest picture!!!!!
Sorry, my feet are about the same size, so the only advice I can give is that maybe you could start a home-based, e-mail-order business that caters to people of differently sized feet.
You know, in your spare time,lol!
Find someone who has the reverse foot sizes and buy the same style shoes to split =) I know, I’m a genius.
One of my legs is an inch longer than the other, so my pants always look funny at the bottom. I was happy when the longer lengths came to the market.
At least with 7’s and 8’s there are more choices. On the upside you get a wider variety so that’s cool. I wear a 10-10.5 and let me tell you that the pickings get real slim.
I like the idea of azusmom. You could make millions and be on Donnie Deutsch.
I too have felt your different sized feet pain. Oh the dilemnas!
The difference between mine are about a size and a half, although in my case my right foot is the giant. Left is bout 9.5 and right is about 11
I’ve never bought 2 different pairs of shoes, and like you I usually even it out and get a 10ish, and my right foot is just permanently squished. For normal/dress shoes this has been mostly okay, but when it comes to trainers it’s a whole different deal.
I once had netball shoes which fit so badly on my right foot that my toenail ended up coming off. Yech. My recommendation? Take your time buying your shoes, which you obviously did!
Awesome blog btw!
Nordstroms will sell you the pair of shoes, mismatched, for the same price as the one pair would be. I sold shoes forever (and forever ago), but that is their policy. you could scope out the clearance and they have to sell you the pair, what ever sizes you want. Also,, they tend to sell the mismatched sizes (which could be yours) at a 20% discount. So check out the nordstrom, baby!!
Candice
Glad to know I’m not the only freak out there WundaLucy! And thanks for all the ideas guys (although someone beat me to that punch, Azusmom). Nordstroms, huh? I’ll def. have to check that out.
Ok, so if you measure the length of my big toes next to each other, the right one is definitely shorter, however my feet are approx the same size because my second toe on the right foot is way longer than the first toe, thus making the feet similar. The problem with this is that all of my weight then is slammed into that one small toe when I perform athletic activities. It often hurts at the end of a long day. My second toe on the left foot is the same size as the big toe, so no problems there.
I feel your pain! My right foot is a 10 and the left around a 7 or 8. Usually I buy two pair, unless they're flip flops. Check out http://www.oddshoefinder.com. People post their mismatched shoes and you can buy them, or search for your 'solemate' with opposite sizes to exchange shoes. The site sometimes has issues though. Good luck!