It’s 1:49 in the morning. And I’m sitting here at my computer because I can’t sleep. Because someone was mean to me. I know, soooo sixth grade but there it is.
For several weeks now, I have been the target of some mean girls at the gym (I should actually say “women” since they are all way past voting age but “girls” just seems appropriate here). It’s not pervasive, just during my Monday night kickboxing class. Which is really sad because I love that class with a love that borders on stalking. I mean, pretty soon Monday night is going to stop taking my calls and start telling me I’m just too intense and maybe we should starting boxing other people.
Anyhow, they aren’t mean to my face but instead make their comments just loud enough and then go out of their way to make sure that I know it’s me they are talking and laughing about. For example, tonight: I was standing as far away from them as possible (I may be many things but I’m not a slow learner) and a girl (lady??) I don’t recognize comes to stand next to me. I smile at her and say hi (I’m very friendly) and she smiles at me. All good. Several songs into what was shaping up to be a very good and very sweaty workout, she swings the wrong direction and our fingertips graze. No biggie – the class is crowded, accidental contact happens, right? Well, she proceeds to act as if she is mortally wounded and makes a huge show of gathering up her stuff to march out of the class… but not before making a pit stop at the Mean Girls’ table so they can point and laugh at how clumsy I am and how I “totally, like, could’ve killed her.”
At this point people are staring at me and I’m trying to ignore them but I’m turning red anyhow. I haven’t felt this humiliated since Middle School and my response then was to go Goth (you want to call me a freak?? I’ll show you a FREAK!). During a break, I ask another girl in the class what’s up and she says that a couple of months ago I accidentally stood in their spot. That’s right – all this harrassment because they think they own a patch of hardwood at the YMCA (that I have never even had the audacity to stand on again!). My friend tries to console me, “They’re just jealous of you.” Yeah. It didn’t help when my mother said it 15 years ago and it doesn’t help now.
But they weren’t done with me. During cooldown, one girl says loudly, “Poor Ann! She’s so brave! If that chick would have hit me I would have screamed, like, SO LOUD.” Several witty and many profane retorts went through my mind but I’ve never been one for public confrontation and I honestly was trying to be the bigger person. (Although, since you asked – here are my top two favorites: “Oh believe me, sister, you would scream if I hit you.” and “You, like, totally should – throwing a tantrum burns so many more calories!” Thank you. I’m done now.)
So I said nothing to them. Again. And left class humiliated. Again. And now I’m sitting here at 2 o’ clock in the morning hoping that writing this out to a bunch of strangers on the Internet will make me feel better enough so I can stop stewing and go to bed. I’m also trying to think of how to make an experiment out of this or at least tie it into some research but I’m tired and I just can’t. Sorry, guys.
PS> Look at how normal Lindsay Lohan looks in that pic! I will never understand why she lost all that weight. She looked awesome as a mean-turned-nice girl.
Make sure they see you banging out full bodyweight pushups before and after the class.
It’s the same at my Y. Exactly what is with that whole “owning a spot” thing, anyway? What if you’re new? You can’t know where everyone stands, and how ridiculous would it be to walk around to everyone asking if they have a preferred spot.
People in small groups-within-groups tend to regress to their meanest middle school behavior. It’s too bad that they have to get their kicks (no pun intended!) at your expense.
Your best revenge is to keep attending the class–and enjoying it.
Love your blog, by the way!
The old adage rings true; if you ignore them, they will go away. If they can’t get a rise out of you (or at least one they can see), they might just get tired of it and give up. I’m guessing that the other regulars in the class have started noticing the pattern, and if they are looking at you it is probably because they feel for you. Of course, it would be nice if one of them spoke up to those b**ches-I mean, women-and told them to knock it off, but that probably won’t happen. And it doesn’t seem like the instructor wants to get involved, so the only thing you can do is stay strong. (Unless you have a large male friend who can take the class with you and give them intimidating looks? Like someone who looks like they might be “connected,”lol?)
I’m really sorry you have to deal with this. Some people just suck. (Honestly, if they’d asked nicely the first time, you probably would have moved to a different spot!)
Just know that you have all of us on your side, and those women probably have very few people in their lives who genuinely like them.
This reminds me a particularly hard time in fifth grade when Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer and Jessica (no joke) ganged up on me and ousted me from the popular, pretty girls group, b/c of a rumor that I had called one of the Jennies “a prostitute.” What? I didn’t even know what sex was back then, let alone a woman of the night. Anyway, three of those four girls grew up to be boring old hags. Your tormenters are simply ugly on the inside. You could fight fire with fire and bring a couple girlfriends and point and laugh together at those territorial Y-mongers. Or you could rise above. I like the point-and-laugh option.
Awww thanks you guys!! It’s amazing how much better you all made me feel:)
Charlotte, As the instructor of that class…. and yes I was cruising through looking for turbo dirt in your way cool blog….is this situation still going on? better? over?
Jennie
Oh, Charlotte, as a former mean-girl-turned-normal-human-being, my response would be to go over after class, smile as sweetly as I could and say, “Oh, my gosh, I’m SO SORRY about your friend. I hope she doesn’t really think I was trying to kill her, because you know, I have a belt in Karate [not exactly a lie, right?], and honestly, if I’d tried to kill her, she’d be dead now. So I hope she knows it was an accident?” Then smile even BIGGER and SWEETER and leave.
*evil grin* (Man, that did my heart good just to WRITE! :D)