I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You guys are smarter than I am. And it is a shame that so many of your passionate, insightful, interesting and provoking thoughts get buried in the comments. Why should I get to do all the talking? (Oh right, it’s my blog. I win!) Anyhow, I wanted to highlight some of my favorite comments from this past week as you guys managed, as you often do, to say it better.
While I rambled on about wedding gowns and cysts, in my Why I’m Glad I’m Not In Show Business Post, secret-santa extraordinaire Ted C Williams cut right to the heart of the matter and brought up an interesting question about celebrities’ right to privacy (and our right to not have to watch when they put beer and a pregnancy test in the same shopping cart.)
Amen to the call for the end of ridiculous tabloid garbage! It’s amazing that anytime a celebrity (or even pseudo-celebrities, if you count how much ink is wasted on reality stars and the cast of The Hills) is photographed turning their waist and it may create a bump-looking form in their tummy region, they’re automatically pregnant!
What also creeps me out about the tabloid mags is the very thin line between journalism and stalking. I feel creepy just seeing those magazines in the grocery check-out lines, because you know those photos were taken without their permission and they are usually taken during times that those who are being photographed think are their private moments in their lives. I’m especially creeped out when their is the rush to be the first to get photos of a newborn child or any other photographs of the children of celebrities.
Where does this kind of journalism cross the line from being protected by free speech and free press to being stalking and abusive? Also, is there truly a demand for this kind of filth journalism, or have we just grown accustom to it simply because we’ve been forced-fed it too long?
My post, The Not-Rape Epidemic, was a doozy. Not only was it hard for me to write but hard for many of you to read. But a lot of you took a risk and commented anyhow in one of the most beautiful outpourings of support I have witnessed in the blogiverse. From the first comment (hi, Cricket!) to the last (Oh, you of the three names Emma Giles Powell!) you all said exactly what I needed to hear. And nobody even commented on me overplaying the victim card! Which, in retrospect, I totally thought that I did. And which I was sure someone would call me on. So I am deeply grateful to every one of you – for your support, your kindess and for trusting me with your stories. Truly, I got teary.
Rather than taking me to task for wallowing, Sensei Don wrote a comment both informative and compassionate in which he reminded us to look to our innate gifts and instincts to protect ourselves (and no mention of any knees to the groin, even!):
I have a few comments. First, each of the incidents you describe is by definition an assault and I personally consider each of them to be offensive attacks. By law any action or words directed at someone that would cause a “reasonable person” to perceive the impending use of violence against them is an assault. I don’t call it “Not Rape” I call it “assault.”
Second, I have come to trust the gut insticts of most women. This is because my wife, sister and mother all seem to have accurate intuition (“scary” accurate when it comes to reading me). It’s a shame most women seem to disregard their own intuition so often – particularly when it comes to men. Most of my life I have been annoyed at the way most women believe the lies men tell them when I know their intuition is sounding alarms. You are right to see these for what they were – attacks – and you are right to defend yourself from them now and forever.
Third, I think it’s important to recognize that self-defense is much more than a set of physical skills. Unfortunately, since it is the easiest to teach, most courses focus solely on the physical part and some ego-crazed instructors will go out of their way to prove to you that they are “better” at it than their students. You must recognize that while many others may possess greater physical strength and skill, fights can be won or lost based on intelect and emotion. Everyone has vulnerabilities. As your story and the many others referenced show, many of these men while strong physically are lacking in some other areas. They can be called “weak” in many contexts and this is not just a rhetorical statement. Those weaknesses can be leveraged to facilitate an escape or their defeat (reference your Life Lesson from Karate “when someone pushes you, pull them in”). Your self-defense tactics should leverage your strengths and take advantage of your opponents’ weaknesses.
In regards to my January’s Great Fitness Experiment: The Lose 10 lbs Workout, many of you had funny things to say in regards to magazine workouts:
Tricia solves the calorie burn conundrum for me, “I think that the caloric burn that ads tell you assume that you do said activity with a masively heavy weight vest on.” Why didn’t I think of that? Must be in the small print somewhere! SeaBreeze probably didn’t realize the innate humor in her comment, “I adore you and your blog. Does this mean you won’t be working out 14hrs a week? Is that going to create challenges based on your coping methods?” I laughed all the way to my therapist’s office. Who reminded me that I am only supposed to be working out 10 hours a week. Which is what I will try to stick to. But of course I have all that anxiety… that post is coming next week – thanks for keeping me honest, girl! (And yes, no CrossFit for January Seabreeze.)
Several of you echoed Emma Giles Powell in questioning the “diet” part of the workout.
The Lose 10 Pounds DIET? Um, I agree that losing weight is mostly about diet, but I see a bunch of exercise in there. Maybe I’m an idiot: maybe they finally found a way you really can out-exercise a bad diet. But then it would have to read “Shape Magazine Workout SCAMS” rather than “Scans”.
For the record, what they recommend for the diet is to slash 500 calories a day. That’s it. No biggie, right?
Lastly, in response to Life Lessons I Learned From Karate, an interesting point from Hanlie. She writes, “I have been wanting to Taekwondo ever since a colleague of mine started a few years ago, but I’m just too fat and unfit. Something to keep in mind as I get fitter and thinner this year…” Sensei Don says that you can start martial arts at any fitness level/body type. So don’t put off those long-desired Tae Kwan Do lessons, Hanlie! Get out there and do your thing and I bet you’ll find that it helps you with your goal of getting fitter. Plus, I’m telling you, the hitting stuff part is really really fun. Just remember to let me know how it goes!
Although my favorite part was the rest of her comment: “You never fail to entertain me! And you’re wonderful on video.” Aw, mom! You don’t have to use a pseudonym;)
So tell me – What do you think about the paparrazi stalking celebs? Have you ever been saved by listening to your instincts? Anyone else try the new workout yet (and have problems sitting down to pee like me)?
Thanks for making this week such a great one! You guys are what makes doing this so much fun. I love you!!
I love reading the comments on your blog!
You really do have so many thoughtful, entertaining readers.
Perhaps because you write such thoughtful, entertaining posts!
Wow, those comments by Ted C Williams and Sensei Don really are well-thought out andn thought-provoking.
Thanks for the advice! The reason I’ve been scared is that they do hours and hours of fitness work and I’m really a exercise beginner and weigh over 300 pounds (but working on it!). I started Pilates again this week and feels as if I’ve had a C-section – my TA is screaming at me! I’m also walking 25-30 minutes every day. Babysteps for me! Although it is amazing how quickly my body is responding. I love it!
As for trusting my instincts, when I was about 8 years old, we lived in a big apartment complex with underground parking. My friend and I were playing in the parking structure, which also had some closed garages, when a man called us to come looking at the kittens in his garage. Now, this was the 1970’s and at that age we knew nothing about child abuse, rape, molestation, or even sex! But something just didn’t feel right for either my friend or myself. We looked at each other and literally ran out of there. Knowing what I know now, I think I may have dodged a bullet that time. Whenever I remember the incident, I’m left with a sense of relief.
Love your blog! Your commitment to fitness inspires me!
I always come back to read the comments here, even when I’m super-busy!
The Shape issue does make me wonder who they think their average reader is. Just snip out 500 calories a day? Man, I wouldn’t be able to function!!
TA x
I just want to know what is wrong with beer and a pregnancy test in your shopping cart? (I just watched Tina Fey’s Baby Mama so if she were to portray this the cart would be brimming with beer). But really… If I skip the epidural and other drugs at birth, can’t I have a half a beer every other week or so? Wait… I am SO off topic! Never mind. All the other comments were fab:-)
Yeah! It’s been quite a week!!
Good luck on your next project!
Thanks for it all!!
Okay, I KNOW I shouldn’t say this, but I feel like celebrities should know better (for example, Britney Spears’ little sister had lipo when she was pregnant but didn’t know. And no one brought a child endangerment case against her or her parents), and I also feel like the law should step in based on pictures.
And there is a market for celebrity and quasi-celebrity things, because our primal brain thinks that anyone we see over and over and who doesn’t attack us is a friend. It doesn’t understand television. At least that’s what the book “Beautiful People Have More Daughters” says.
Aw that’s sweet! Those are some good comments.
My instincts have kicked in and helped me out a couple times in sketchy situations, thank goodness. And I feel bad for the celebs- yeah, its the price of being famous, but even so, it gets REALLY stupid with how intensely some of them are scrutinized.
i love that you do these posts because the comments do get lost. I dont have time to read all of them so these are nice little spotlights.
Kelly Turner
http://www.everygymsnightmare.com
i think i left a comment the other day about the shape workout. yes, brandon and i tried it. yes, we’re sore.
yes, i’m doing it again today.
as for the media/celebrity/paparazzi thing … that takes me back to my media law and ethics class from college and i’d rather not revisit my time in that class.
partially because my comment would be RIDICULOUSLY long and i’m not interested in looking back in my notes.
I look forward to this blog, and all the comments, every day!
I only found this blog a short while ago, but your posts are amazing. Way more than I bargained for. The reason the comments are so great is due to the intelligence and honest passion you put into your posts. Thank-you for this.
– Dave
Hey Charlotte, I have a question. Almost every piece of diet advice I’ve ever read says to reduce your caloric consumption enough to lose weight, but not so much as to make your body go into starvation mode. Most of the time, they say not to eat less than 1,000 calories a day. I usually do this easily, but some days I’m just not hungry enough to want to eat that many calories. How often can I eat, say, 700-900 calories without “going into starvation mode”?
Thanks!
Rebecca
Dear goodness I eat close to 700 calories for breakfast! If I dropped that low for a day I would be such a … well, not a nice person.
Sometimes, you don’t know if your instincts are right or not. There was this creepy guy at the park last year, who at first just seemed like a dad with his kids making small talk, then he was always there when I was there. One time, he had lost his voice, and passed me a note, and tried to get my last name. I was there for a class at the community center for my son, and after the class I had a security guard walk me out. Glad I did, too, because the guy was still there, without his kids.
And I elbowed my husband in the face, hard, one night when he surprised me. Maybe my instincts are good.
And I haven’t tried the Shape workout, but decided after about 2 months of being totally lazy to try jumping rope. My calves hurt SO BAD!
Today is a super busy day at work and I had just a few minutes break, and you’re the blog I’m visiting. 😉 It’s absolutely your writing, but I love reading the comments too!
Great idea for a post Charlotte. You do have a wonderful commenting crowd. Too sore to sit down and pee…really? Wow – sounds like you’re working hard. Can’t wait for the results.
Charlotte, I’m loving your blog…and reading the comments, too!
I’m glad you didn’t take offense to my comment. I’m also pleased that you’ll be taking a break from Crossfit for January.
I’ll be back on the magazine fitness plan tomorrow. Today, I am recovering from snowboarding with Yoga. Good luck!