“Pumpkin!” That was the final word that I needed to win Mrs. Julkunen’s second-grade Fall Festival bingo game. The stakes were high: winning meant not only bragging rights on the playground but also a beautiful package of scented pencils that I lusted over and begged my mom endlessly for quarters so I could buy some …
Scenario 1: At my oldest son’s swimming lesson recently the teacher, par for the first day, had all the kids line up next to the pool. It became apparent that one little girl, a devout Muslim as indicated by her abaya (a long black robe that covered her to her wrists and ankles) and hijab …
My locker room drama started and ended with the showers. Sixth grade P.E. (“Phy Ed” if you’re from Minnesota) found me at the end of a long line of body-conscious girls wrapped in thin towels, each awaiting her turn to wash off the sweat from dodgeball. Despite the fact that huddling against a wall staring …
Karate surprised me. As you may recall, I informed Sensei Don at the beginning of the Experiment that I was less interested in the mental aspects of Karate and more interested in the killing people. He was kind enough to tell me some things about the more lethal aspects but also gently guided me back …
Is that back sweat or did you sire a turtle? My body has a very efficient cooling system. At the first sign of a road race or a rack of weights my pores open right up and sweat starts shooting out. Literally. I’ve been known to soak my shirt so completely that it changes color …
It’s the part they never show you in the glossy magazine pictures and peppy fitness videos: what happens when gym clothes attack. From small things like wedgies, camel toe, and muffin top, to big things like split pants, nip slips, and moonings to weird things like sweat stains in places people like to pretend they …
Read more “When Spandex Attacks: The Top 5 Worst Wardrobe Malfunctions in the Gym”
I made a mistake. At first I was going to write this post and pretend I got an e-mail from someone asking me this question but I quickly realized that would be a bad idea on two fronts: one, I’m a terrible liar and two, seeing as I’m the one with the problem, I can’t …
I have a disgusting confession to make. I went 54 hours without a shower. But wait, it gets worse – I did five workouts during that time period. So in addition to leg stubble that could cut a brotha and armpit hair that would have made me the envy of the Lillith Fair, I had …
Read more “Mini-Experiment: Using Vibrations to Intensify Your Workout”
“Okay, everyone get warmed up because today we start our new Karate Experiment.” Holding up two small pieces of wood, I continued in my most serious voice, “We will begin by breaking these boards.” You should have seen the Gym Buddies faces! Until Gym Buddy Megan busted up laughing. That girl never takes me seriously. …
photo credit: Natalie Dee So I spent most of November just hanging around the gym. Literally. As in from cables suspended from the ceiling (or the chin-up bar, or the cable machine, or my really tall friends…). I think my favorite part of the Suspenion Training Experiment besides the massive amounts of weird looks we …
